Matt23

Legalize it. It just seems to make things easier. Especially with people who aren't ready for it. Giving people who aren't ready, fit, or capable to raise healthy and happy children the option to abort can save lots of suffering and issues (which obviously spreads out into the wider culture as well). What's the loss? Also, if you legalize it, then that means both parties can win; those who disagree with it don't have to abort, and those who want it can do it. Win-win if you ask me. But obviously some don't see it that way.

If that's seriously how you feel... then you are lacking empathy. Are you surprised though? Or... maybe.. and this is just a thought here... instead of grabbing him by the ear and throwing him to the curb, maybe, juuuusssttt maybe, there's a better, more compassionate, and healthier alternative that would results in A) him getting the help he needs, and B) your daughter and family also being safe and not dragged into negativity. I dunno. It's just a hunch. Like, I don't know what that would look like. Maybe some mixture of him getting support, and depending on the health of the relationship, the daughter seeing him occasionally, supporting him as she can, etc.. I dunno, this depends on the context. Also, I think a large part of this would have to depend on what the daughter wants to do since she's the one dating him. So like, if I was her father, I'd have a talk with her about how things are going (or maybe even with both of them to address the issue and even get him help if he wants it), etc., and then just make sure she's making an informed decision. But going straight to ear grabings and curb throwings... seems just callous and lacking any concern to help or have a positive impact. Seems a bit drastic, like, things can be handled way more smoothly and less dramatically than that. Dramatic scenes usually just cause more pain and suffering. I mean, I can understand taking that approach if the daughter wanted out of the relationship since things were getting bad and the guy kept trying to get back together and invade boundaries n such.

Cheers. I liked these quotes from Susan C. G.. Especially when related to things like Spiral Dynamics, Integral theory, etc.. Can we appreciate the necessity and wisdom of the ego as a storyteller while being alert to its relentless scheming to cement itself and to affirm its separateness? Ego development theory is distinct from many other theories precisely because it pays more attention to the development of meaning-making and thus looks more at how tightly or lightly a theory is held than what ideas it espouses

What do you think? Nora Bateson posted this on the facebook debate thread between her (anti-stage theory) and Hanzi (pro stage theories), the guy who created (?) metamodernism.. i think. I see Bonnitta as a stage yellow thinker (if we're using those terms). Basically just really sophisticated and knowledgeable in this domain. For me, I have lots of attachment to stage theories. But the thing that kept coming up for me is that I haven't seen the actual studies, observations, and ways that these theories (no matter who's they are) are based on. Like I haven't for myself seen the actual evidence. All I've been delivered (mostly) have been the larger theories that were created (either based off real-world observations or not). So I don't have that more "solid" basis of evaluating which is more accurate or not (even though yes, I do have my own experience and observations. But that could be limited too in some ways).

I said those to describe what I saw based off those interactions on FB. WE can do w/e the hell we want. But THEY seemed to be in a pro- and anti- debate/thing. seems to fit the general vibe that they were portraying. But also consider that there can be like a unwise use of the word "nuance"; as in like always just trying to find a middle ground without actually wrestling with and thinking about the theories and data. Like holding as a possibility that there may be actual better and worse ideas. To not take anything for granted with just "Ohh, c'mon, there's obviously a middle ground here". I'm not saying this is what you meant, but just as a note.

Nice. Ya, well, I definitely thought it was way more complex than any stage theory I've seen. I'm interested in seeing what sources and research led to this theory (as well as the other stage theories she critiques here, so I can get a better view of the actual research to make my own mind up a bit more). But, as for this ... "Core Self" is a concept from a neuroscientist named Antonio Damasio (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damasio's_theory_of_consciousness). I'm just getting introduced to these ideas so I really don't think I have a good understanding. These ideas seem quite sophisticated and complex. More so than the more simple stage theories I've come across. My first, superficial opinions and understandings based on very limited knowledge of this stuff: What most peaked my interest was the "emergent pathways" that she said are overlooked via stage theory. Contrasting with the known stage theories in school, society, career, etc., which are "mapped", seen, or acknowledged in society (not necessarily as in people know the stage theories, but simply as like people generally can tell if someone is "mature" or on the same "level" as them, etc.), I saw the emergent pathways as being more like an organic expressions, or expression of possible areas of growth that are seen as perhaps very different, abnormal, or nonsensical. These kind of make me think of very original and novel ways of being that might be discarded by regular society, or perhaps labeled as pathologies (which she might have said). As for the "Core Self", my first thoughts about that were something like it's based on something more foundational. Meaning, something which is closer linked and created by things like genetics, neurobiology, physiology, and even our external environments (particularly those from early life).etc.. This then makes me think it's also probably harder to change. Though I dunno, since she did mention some things like shadow work and contemplative practices that work on the Core Self. So, ya, I'm not sure. Part of me wonders how much of this is just semantics. As in just reframing things that stage theorists labeled as part of ego-development, like the shadow, as instead now labeled as "Core Self". --> I guess I'm wondering how much practical use there is in this new way of seeing development. But again, just initial thoughts on limited experience with this stuff. I'd almost like a mini class in this and to be able to ask her questions and get clarification to make sure I'm understanding correctly. Cuz I can give endless critiques based off my own interpretations of things, but that doesn't mean my own interpretations are correct, which I feel they probably aren't, especially with this theory.

I guess ultimately the question is "Is the relationship working for you? Are you happy in it? Does it fill rather than drain your cup?" Cuz if you're feeling good enough in the relationship, and feeling positive, lifted, and are enjoying it, then why not keep it going? If not, well then you've maybe got some thinking to do. Also, I suppose another trap i hear about is people denying how miserable they are in realtionships due to guilt, fear of leaving, or other negative and poor motivations. So make sure you're getting an accurate picture of the relationship and how you're feeling about it/him. Maybe also getting other people's perspective on it that you know personally, and who know him as well. They might see things you don't. Maybe not.

I'd say the degree of suffering one experiences in life is probably a good metric for my definition of wise. You can also contemplate if you're more wise is some areas over others. Like you might be wise when giving your friends advice on a certain topic, perhaps their relationships. But then you're unwise when it comes to your eating habits. I dunno. (you must add "I dunno" at the end of all your sentences to be wise as well... that's official)

You can look up tons of resources easily online. I have had it happen once though. It was a bit weird, realizing that I was in a dream. I tried to do stuff in it, like levitate and do whatever I wanted, but I seemed stuck in the dream's physics or something. Like my belief system of the dream still made me beholden to the dream's physics etc.. I might of levitated a tiny bit, but it took a lot of will power or something. I forget. It was a long time ago.

That's the first thing I thought lol. I feel frustrated often when I hear things like this on the forum. Like "How do I let thoughts go?" or "How do I stop eating so much?" etc.. It's like "JUST DO IT!" haha. God. I dunno. I suppose that's one of my pet peeves here. Maybe a shadow thing too. I dunno. But ya, honestly, that's what I'd say. Just start observing more. be more mindful etc.. Ima put the ball back in your court cuz I think you can come up with some answers: How do you think you could be more observant?

Obviously extreme fitness isnt for everyone. But also, I notice my body feels tremendously better and more relaxed and even my mind is more clear when i do some sort of disciplined exercise routine. Doesn't have to be huge amounts though.

I disagree. I'd say he's way more Ne than Ni. When you listen to him speak, he uses so many concepts, theories, and examples. He's "channel-changing" so much. All over the place and connecting dots like a web (which is more Ne to me from my understanding). He even described his thougbt process as that: he said something like "I think like there's these separate concepts that fill part of the picture. Then the more i learn and think the more the picture gets filled in." Rather than sticking to the same concepts and lines of thinking and delivery, he seems like he's looking at a tremendous amount of new ideas and is making connections (Ne) rather than refining a singular, more consistent idea or concept and telling that over and over again (Ni). Like compare him to how Leo talks about awakening. Leo tends to generally sticks to the same ideas about awakening. Nothing wrong with that. It's just kind of more of the same. You know pretyy well what you're gunna get: "you are god, everything is your imagination, brains are imaginary, etc..". Ya, slight differences and angles, but pretty well the same stuff. But take someone like JP, you don't know what the fuck he's gunna say. He references so many ideas and makes so many connections to different things. It's like a shotgun (Ne) vs. a sniper (Ni).

Interesting interview. The findings they've found in their research is pretty great. Something like 85%-90% (I think) of people with PTSD had either a significant reduction or complete elimination of PTSD two months after mdma comboned with therapy.

What's up with those arms tho?

Obviously. This is exactly what I said. I said "if you're for total equality" as an example of someone else who clealry, to me, has an unhealthy paradigm. I don't subscribe to that. Hence the quotation marks and "Hell na'' at the end.

Maybe. But also I don't think suggesting or giving one's opinions about a topic (like how I don't think pushing one's body to the extreme is necessarily very healthy) is the same as demonizing people who do that. Like you can caution people about the downfalls of a certain way of doing things yet still not judge or demonize people who do that.

I also wonder how intensely they trained. I doubt it was doing david goggins style workouts. @samijiben Ya. No don't get me wrong, I think physical health and fitness are positives usually, when calibrated to each individual. Even for emotions and one's psychology they can help. But my argument was with the beefcake, do-marathons-till-you-break-an-ankle-and-keep-running, navy seal, spend-all-your-time-and-energy-working-out, and pushing-your- body-to-the-max-all-the-time styles of fitness.

I feel like this is similar to the issue of equality and "Ok, if you are for total equality, then doesn't that mean that we have to hold rapists as equal to everyone else and allow them in our culture?" Hell Na. I think there's a balance individuals and groups have to strike between freedom and control. Fighting for freedom and allowing a healthy flow of ideas and information to flourish. Fighting for control, like fighting back against Nazi Germany and not just allowing them to do what they want cuz we believe in freedom for everyone.

I think this is just simply false. Sounds a bit ideological and absolutistic. Too black and white. ..sounds like your trolling even... Anyways. @hoodrow trillson I definitely agree with what you said. I did lots of sports and physical activity growing up. Competing in basketball and triathlons at elite levels. Then working lots of manual labor. Including tree-planting for a summer which seems to be one of the most physically demanding jobs out there (I still maintain anyone can do it, from what I've seen). I've rolled my ankle many times (both I'm pretty sure), got into a collision in basketball where I'm pretty sure I damaged a rib/spine a bit, some knee issues, feet issues. Basically, I can barely go for a 20 minute jog without my feet becoming very tender and sore. If I was to consider doing anything the OP sounds like he'd considers "healthy" in terms of fitness (i.e., pushing my body), that would be irresponsible, damaging, and just stupid. Clearly people vary greatly. So one person may benefit and enjoy greatly this ideology/attitude of pushing oneself to their extremes physically as a top priority in life (though, I'm willing to bet it's an extremely small portion of the population). But I think for most people A) it just wouldn't give them peace, happiness, and fulfillment overall, and B) would probably do more harm to themselves physically, Even those people who do push themselves to the extremes (David Goggins, extreme long-distance runners, you I suppose, etc.), I am skeptical at how long they can maintain that type of lifestyle and how crippled their bodies will be afterwards. It's considered relatively common knowledge in pro sports like football, hockey, and basketball, that A) players can only play till like their 30s and mayyyyybe 40s until their bodies just can't handle it, and B) once they retire, their bodies are just trash. It's also worth pointing out that professional athletes and people like David Goggins (I dunno about him) have tons or $, resources and experts guiding and helping them so that they can optimize their bodies and recovery. I wonder how long their bodies would last without the worlds top sports doctors and the like helping them out ... Anyway, I just thinking people gotta make sure they are safe with their bodies. I learned and am learning the hard way that the body is absolutely not invincible. Especially for people who experience chronic stress and anxiety and long-term emotional issues and traumas (like me), it's not hard to imagine that the body's ability to recover and not breakdown is reduce greatly, not only considering reduced immune function, stress linked to stomach and digestive absorption issues that then make it difficult to absorb proper nutrients, but also with things like elevated stress hormones that can be damaging if overexposed. I guess just try to see that it's not the only or necessarily best way to live. At least, I don't think so for many people.

I'm wanting to try mdma as a therapeutic strategy. I'm researching various safety precautions and am wanting to hear what you guys think in general and on a couple specific points. I'd love to hear your personal experiences and stories as well. The first specific thing I'd like some feedback on is whether or not mdma has a history of being laced with fentanyl. To my knowledge, not really. But I'm not about taking chances with that one. I'm looking into several drug testing kits. They aren't cheap. It costs more to add a fentanyl kit to the mix. Do you think it's worth buying an additional fentanyl test on top of the other tests (marquis, mecke, simo 's A and B Main questions (hopefully more clear and organized): How high of a risk do you think there is of having fentanyl in the MDMA (I live in Vancouver Canada if that helps)? Which if these test kits below do you think is best and which do you think is least necessary? Do you think it's worth buying an extra fentanyl test, irregardless of which test kit below I buy? Or, is there a kit below that you think would be sufficient in testing for fentanyl as well? Only Marquis (for MDMA). Marquis, Mecke (for opiates), Simon's A and B. Marquis, Mecke, Mandelin (for ketamine & PMA). Thanks for any tips, advice, and thoughts.

I dunno if it's fully worth spending lots of time trying to fight that fear. There may be better and easier ways of getting what you want without doing that. Like moving spots or something. Also, I mean, ya, just be with the fear. Use it as an object of meditation. Try to simply watch the fear. Let it arise without reacting to it. Do this by being super focused on the feeling of fear. Think of a dam with lots of water behind it. The water is the fear. The dam is your awareness. If the water breaks through the dam, that means you will behaviorally react to the fear. So, as long as you keep your attention on the fear, you won't react (ideally I suppose... that's how it's been in my experience with physical pain at least). The water will stay behind the damn.

Uniqueness and novelty. Not just in terms of content, but also in terms of how it's displayed. Like, Look at Leo's thumbnails for his videos. I know exactly, or pretty damn close, which video is a Leo video based on like a 1 second glimpse of the photo, not even looking at the title or who it's buy. There's something about the way he designs his thumbnails and content that has a certain uniqueness to it. A certain aesthetic. they're simple, creative, etc.. Maybe try to experiment with the style and design (camera work, editing, sound, lighting, etc.) to try and create not just valuable and unique content, but a unique presentation and style. One that really reflects who you are and your own authenticity.

I'd recommend looking at old videos of people who you see as really good public speakers, just to see their progression. Even Leo's old videos are somewhat cringe. Like your favorite podcasters or something. This might help you get a more sober perspective and realization that we all, no matter how good we are now, probably came from a place of cringe. Also, maybe see if you can do like a critical breakdown of your videos. Like do a "What I do well on" vs. "What I'd like to improve upon" analysis. Even getting others' perspective can be great (ideally people who you trust and see as mature and willing to give honest, yet not sloppy/harmful feedback). This might get you out of a shaming sort of mindset since you're really getting fine-grained in what your seeing. LIke rather than "Oh fuck.... I suck.", being like "Ok.. so I think I suck. Why? What precisely do I think I'm not good at? What can I improve on? What am I satisfied with?"

If your intuition isn't working, go have more, and varied, experiences. Use experience as your litmus test as to what's meaningful to you. Listen to your heart.

Psychedelics. Suffer until the suffering becomes great enough that you become sick of doing it. If you do it, try to not feel guilty about it as this usually backfires and makes you perpetuate the addiction since the negative guilt makes you do the addictive/avoidant behavior (often). = self-love. Trauma and shadow work. Swapping that addiction for more healthy addictions. Like maybe reading. Or even just watching longer videos (and more high consciousness ones) to try to extend your attention span. Then build from there. Cold turkey. Try to feel the feeling your trying to avoid when you do the addictive behavior. Try to heal it by feeling it and letting it go. If it's too hard to do all at once, try to just feeling it for like a few minutes or even a few seconds (depending on what you think is reasonable), and then do the addictive behavior. Basically give yourself a pause of consciousness before fully engaging in the behavior. Then at least you're going in with some consciousness. Speak out loud what you're feeling, thinking, and doing. Do calming exercises like spinal rotations, feet above the head, breathing slower on exhales, simply moving your eyes (i.e., looking) to your 3 oclock (I know this one sounds weird, but it honestly works for me in bringing about relaxation), meditation, walks (or doing things where you're actively alternating from one side of your body to the other... even just tossing a ball between your hands might work), etc.. Be realistic about what you can improve on, and accentuate the positive victories (even small ones). Write them down in a journal even. Practice shifting your emotional state on command. == metta/loving-kindness meditations might help, or doing the Brahma Viharas (Danial Ingram has a great section in his free online book telling how -- search MCTB2.org). Or just plain and simply give yourself love and try to accentuate that feeling in and through your body. CBT = start just saying positive things to yourself/about yourself throughout the day. Also, challenge universal and negative beliefs like "I'm an addict" etc.. Contemplate why this is happening. Shift your external situation.