Matt23

MDMA Felt almost more dissociative when troubling emotions came up. Perhaps even just upon viewing myself and life as a whole. More "detached". And not in a bad way. I got an "epiphany" of sorts and just realized I want to be more independent, spend a few years alone, and take more personal ownership over my life. Felt also some euphoric feelings, warm feelings. Nothing extraordinary though. A more lengthy "comedown". For me, the comedown was mostly just feeling more tired and sluggish and not wanting anything stimulating (like I just wanted to stay in my dark room for a day or two). Also some headache type sensations. No depressed moods though. LSD Has felt more "cognitive". Some visual effects, like my visual field becoming 'wavy'. Also some "tracers" and different colors being seen (though nothing extraordinary again). Upon closing my eyes, perhaps more creative and vivid imagination and thinking (visually). Also perhaps some body-sensations: like a body-high (i.e., warm feelings, tinglings, etc.). Though, it's been a while so I can't remember great. Comedown = probably just feeling more tired and like I needed rest and no stimulation. Give my brain a break. And probably just a lot quicker to get over than the MDMA (like hours or an evening rather than a few days or more).

Ya Pete!

No video?

Heart

I don't think you can 100% since it's relative. Anything like this isn't absolute so... seems like any belief or judgment, etc., is basically just a house of cards with no foundation. Just nothing beneath it. I had an experience I can see as similar, perhaps a bit more extreme, but similar. It was after an Ayahuasca ceremony, and we were just in a circle sharing our experiences. Then they all started laughing at a joke I didn't get. Then I started getting really paranoid. Then they said "Ya, that's paranoia." At that moment I fell into a deep skepticism about my own perceptions and interpretations, and just turned all my doubts 180 onto my self and own faculties. I got soooooo anxious and fearful I had to just like spend a few minutes just letting it go and trusting they knew what they were talking about to reground myself. I guess ultimately "knowing", in the regular sense, is just a fantasy, a desire for certainty that will probably never come (through regular ways of getting it at least).

Double click on this.

I dunno. I think it's kind of a subjective thing. Depending on who the person is and where they are in life, they may find Actualized.org either overly masculine for themselves, like yourself, or just the ticket!

I think there's a difference between being Versatile and being Unfocused. If you get my drift. I agree with the other guys as well. Trying to do too many things will just make your energies scattered and diffuse, and this will then make the quality of your work less. Compared to focusing all your energies on one thing, this will greatly increase your odds of making something of higher quality. And like @Knowledge Hoarder mentioned, you can be versatile, but try to be versatile within one domain which is as specific as possible. Like, you can have a marshal arts fighter who is extremely focused and masterful of one very particular style (say, Karate). Yet, since he's mastered that one particular style so thoroughly, he is extremely versatile within it. So he can use all the moves expertly and isn't limited by his lack of mastery and experience (or versatility) with several of the moves. Likewise with basketball. There are players who only have a few moves they rely on. With these guys, it doesn't take long to realize their limited "toolbox" to then be able to defend them easily since you know what's coming. Whereas someone who's mastered many many many moves will be wayyy more difficult to guard since he could do anything. But still notice, he's versatile within one very specific sport. I guess the key is to find the right balance between these two things: Narrowing down (specifying your niche) Broadening enough (so that you can thoroughly master your niche) I also think that most people have a habit of being too broad and not narrowing down enough, so my advice would be to probably focus on the the narrowing down part.

Yes. But, there are also other positive aspects you can embody. Like confidence (many Buddhists speak of this for example), courage, discipline, passion, effort, skill, mastery, practice, honesty, etc.. Don't take any one thing as the all-encompassing absolute way to go about stuff. Use them as it fits your needs. For example, if you notice yourself becoming more "passive" and it feels unhealthy, then you can decide to do the opposite. Again, do what feels healthy to you. It could also be that by living more "spiritually" or authentically, that old, toxic, or inauthentic motivations maybe fade away (like your sports) and make way for more authentic motivations and goals. Having a calm and peaceful mind doesn't mean you can't also do things that require incredible skill, concentration, dedication, and practice. It's like the difference between this... See how inefficient and unskillful that is? Compared to this... Calm, cool, collected. Yet still getting shit done.

Agreed. Agreed. I guess you can kind of "slice the pie" whichever way you like really, in terms of naming stuff. I guess you could call any psychological work emotional work. For me, I suppose I would say that techniques which focus on actual thought patterns, like CBT or mantras, are more cognitive. Whereas things like the Sedona method, feeling through emotions, etc., are more emotional based. But it doesn't really matter what you call them.

I'd recommend doing this. Shadow, in the psychological sense, is basically anything that you've repressed, denied, or are unconscious of that's operating inside you. It can be negative aspects of yourself, or even positive aspects of yourself. This emptiness you describe doesn't sound the like shadow to me in and of itself. Though, I can imagine it being possible to have a "shadow relationship" to it, where you're unconscious as to how various parts of yourself are relating to that emptiness. It could be part of your psychological shadow though. Maybe try asking it questions and seeing if anything pops up.

Mmmm I don't think so. I'll be pretty much out of that money if I do school.

So far, I'm feeling that I've got a decent amount of knowledge, experience, and some training that I can offer to people. Reiki, two-year diploma in outdoor guiding, meditating since 2014 (many types), experimenting with a variety of different psychological and emotional therapies and techniques, reading, etc.. I'm feeling though that the most meaningful thing to do so far, with what I have to market, is bringing people into nature to help them feel that love, awe, and beauty and to help them reconnect with themselves etc.. I could combine this with also providing various forms of meditation during hikes. My question, though, is what you guys think of just creating a website which is more general. Almost like a "landing pad" where I can have the freedom to sell and give a variety of different products and services; coaching, meditation videos, pictures, articles and writings, etc.. I'm starting to feel like I've fallen into the "infinite student syndrome" where people are great at learning, taking courses, reading, etc., but then never actually create anything of value or do anything with it. I'm feeling like I just need to start doing shit and making stuff, and having some sort of platform where people can see what I offer and a place where I can easily just advertise my stuff, seems like such an asset to have. So then I can just have the freedom to make various offers and then eventually learn what I really want to do. Just like a general place to start producing at least a bit of revenue and results financially. Any advice or tips or thoughts on this? Stay specific or go general? Ideas for marketing so people actually see my website? What would you be looking for in a coach, meditation teacher, or guide that takes you out into nature? Cheers

First, I'd say that the distinction between mind and body isn't so simple or clear, and that most, if not all, emotional resistance in the body has its roots in the mind somewhere. Also, speaking from the biological perspective, the nervous system is basically an extension of the brain/mind, so treating them as separate may not be so wise as you may overlook things. I see it as if you can work on the same psyche from either the mind or from the body (and I'm sure there are mediums as well). Like, say you feel resistance in the body. You can, as I've done, observe it and then literally just ask it questions and get responses. You may even get an image-representation of that feeling in your mind so you can better relate to it. Alternatively, you could use a body-first approach where you do things like yoga, stretching, massages, cold shower, etc.. But in terms of practicality, I think it can be useful to make a distinction between various types of practices, like body-practices vs. cognitive-practices vs. emotional-practices, etc.. I think this enables one to more clearly choose what type of practice they need or are craving, and then make better choices. If you're looking for more body-based practices, here's a few that I've used and have helped reduce my nervous system: This one may sound silly, but try it out, it's worked for me == literally just looking to your 3 o'clock. You can do this lying down and hugging yourself as well. This has reduced my stress. Spinal rotations. yoga. Humming == you can then play with moving it to various parts of your body through changing the frequency. Sitting or laying so your feet are above your head. Feet on the wall helps. Tapping the center of your chest - i don't use this one but I've heard it work for others. Feet on the ground without shoes or socks. -- "ground" as in earth, rather than concrete, etc.. Hugging your self. Butterfly hugs = hug yourself and then rub your arms like you're trying to warm yourself up. Play with focusing on various parts of your body to find a place that feels good. Back, feet, legs, arms, etc..

I guess cuz doing school with work will probably be too much for me. I struggle quite a bit with the mental health stuff. Also, I dunno, I guess it's just like why do it if I save the money? I also do sentence completions as a way to figure out decisions, so I'll write something like "The wisest thing to do with school is to...", and then I'll write 6-10 responses to that really fast. Most point to not doing school this semester. I dunno. I did the life purpose course a few years ago and the vision I created was of running a retreat-like center. So doing things like spirituality and psychological healing. Though, I dunno if that totally does the trick for me in terms of passion. I'm questioning that at the moment.

It's just that I received a lot of money for education, whatever education I want, and I think/feel that it could maybe go towards something more helpful. I think this is the main issue for me.

I guess my gut-instinct would say probably more hedonic. But also things aren't black and white. Like, it depends how you use it. But the way you described how you want to do it sounds hedonic to me; all the time. But I can see how it could also be a form of self-love if you just need a break from life. In possibility land, ya, sure, maybe there's some guy who's highest form of joy and love is playing video games. But in reality, I don't think so.

Just do what is most meaningful to you. That which brings about that feeling of deep love in your heart. Do what you'd think you'd be most proud of. Do you really want to look back on your life and all you strove for was playing video games? I mean, go for it if that's the truth. But I doubt it.

Look up Objective Personality (they have a website and some stuff on YT).

Would it really fulfill you? I'm wagering that it would eat away at your happiness and fulfillment in life and you'd end up becoming depressed and just miserable. You'd probably also get bored of it real-quick. Like, video games all day, every day, for months, even just weeks, on end... how long do you really think that would last before you got sick of it?

Follow the instructions and listen to your feelings.

If you mean "neutrality" as in some form of subdued emotional state... I don't think that's what Buddhism is really point at ultimately. I think it's pointing to something far more Positive once positivity and negativity are transcended. I dunno though. Could be jibberish for all I know lol. Juicy AF. I love this stuff. Stuff that just fucks with your mind: "You should not want to be alive, nor should you want to be dead, you should not want anything." Woosh. I love things like this since they seem to engender in the reader a sense of active awareness, active contemplation, active observation. Rather than a simple binary "do this, don't do this" answer. It's like something about the statements rejects any dichotomies within itself, and is a perfect example of transcending and including: not wanting to be alive and not wanting to be dead both lie within not wanting anything, which itself is a difficult thing for the mind to do. --- No singular heuristic or principle to follow.

The feeling of security and "knowing" that comes from others telling you what to do. Accept the unknown. Embrace uncertainty. ... also, that resentment you feel for that guy who cut you off in traffic. Honestly, those small things are sometimes some of the hardest shit to let go of.

I dunno. I get where you're coming from and applaud you sticking to your principles. But also, maybe it's not that much of a big deal to just take the job, you know? I'm not saying what was right or wrong either. Maybe not taking that job was the best thing you could've done. I mean, if you were like broke, about to be evicted, that would be a different story and I'd say "take the fucking job". So it's a bit context dependent. I feel sometimes people, speaking from person experience (with myself), can maybe get a bit too high n' mighty with their values and principles to the detriment of wisdom and just practicalities. Balance your ideals with compassion (including self-compassion) and wisdom. Sometimes being able to let things go and be imperfect is helpful and even wise. Actually, I just watched a movie last night (In Bruges) which perfectly encapsulates my point. Basically, this hitman accidentally shoots and kills a kid. Now he's been targeted since he fucked up. The guy who's after him said "If I shot a kid, I'd kill myself right then and there. No excuses." At the end of the movie, the guy who's after the hitman accidentally shoots a midget which he mistakes as a kid. Upon thinking he shot a kid, the guy says "You gotta stick to your principles" and shoots himself. Meanwhile, the hitman is trying to get him to stop since he knows the "kid" is a midget.

What is final month abortion and what's your issue with it?