Matt23

Fair enough. I mean, not that I'm aware of. For all I know, unconsciously it could be related. But I doubt it. First, partly it's related to the noise levels. The walls are kinda thin, I'm someone who's really desired and needed tranquility and quiet. She tends to like to watch TV, be more chatty and extraverted. Whereas I'm more of an introvert and feel the need to come home to a place where I feel I can just relax and not feel like I need to please her and chat or something. There's also some shadowy stuff where part of me feels scared of her for some reason. I also just think she's not the kind of person I'd like to be around and see her as somewhat a little toxic. I mean, maybe it's more me, but it's just the vibe I get. I just don't feel that comfortable living with her and feel a decent amount of subtle tension whenever I'm in the place with her. Like I need to please her or something. I try not too and make it reasonable in terms of me just making my own space and taking my own time. But there's still the underlying stress there. It's kind of annoying and I feel it difficult to just get some rest when I feel I need it. It obviously gets convoluted and not so clear (otherwise I'd probably know what to do and not be asking this question here). B But ya... The overall, superficial overview of it is... A constant subtle, underlying stress and uncomfortableness with her. Feeling frustrated when coming home since I feel the need for silence to recharge, but she tends to always want to chat and just starts talking at me about stuff in her day and I just feel it difficult to say "Look LIsa, I don't want to talk right now. I had a long day full of interaction and I feel the need for being still and just relaxing and not talking a bunch." This is partly where I'm like she could be good practice for me in this regard. And I've already done a good conversation of radical honesty where I just laid some stuff out I felt scared to say. Then the noise factor, which we agreed on that she'd turn the TV off at 10-10:30. So it's not too bad, but ideally I'd like a place quieter. Finally, I just sense she's got some toxicity to her that maybe I could not do with. Though, again, this could be good practice to dealing and interacting with people I don't get along with.

I think for me, as far as I've noticed, it's about (probably I'm pretty sure) distraction from emotional pain and feeling unable to control life and my emotions since physical pain is a lot less painful and makes me feel alive and in control perhaps. It's like a way to vent and channel the emotional pain that feels too difficult or painful to deal with directly.

I know how deep and strong these feelings of "owing" others can be and how hard it can be to not be run by these types of thoughts. But I invite you to question them and not just immediately believe and act from them. If you were "your own mother", like if you were in your mother's position (only as yourself), what would you want for yourself? How would you treat yourself? What would you do? Would you understand yourself and let yourself be free since you know it would make you happy? Or would you condone yourself and guilt yourself into staying? Also try putting yourself in your family members shoes as themselves. Another way to look at this is to see yourself in the 3rd person, as if looking at yourself and your family situation from impartial 3rd party perspective from above. How does it look? What do you see as reasonable and the loving thing to do? What dynamics do you see in yourself and your family? What advice would this outsider give to you? What advice would this outsider give to your family?

Is it true that you love these things that you're doing? It seems you would feel fulfilled if you deeply did. Though, also, it could be that these things are meaningful to you but you haven't yet found the more specific expressions of these things that are meaningful to you. For example, Spirituality might be deeply important to you, yet doing meditation could be an absolute bore to you. But when you do yoga it feels effortless because yoga is the more specific thing that is meaningful to you within the domain of spirituality. Keep exploring these fields which are important to you. It's a great start to know what domain to look in. Now you just gotta experiment and explore within that domain to find your niche and the specific activities and things that really supercharge and motivate you and which you find meaningful.

Where did you get those numbers? questions that come up for me are... I also wonder how much of that is due to and expanded definition of mental illness. Have those numbers of mental illness been true for most or all of human history?

What the heck is a VPN? ... for all us technologically ignorant.

Orange-vibes.

Just do an experiment: When you have anxiety, meditate, see what happens. When you feel anxious another day, don't meditate, and see what happens. I'd also recommend, if you find meditating isn't good for anxiety, to meditate doing bady-scanning and experiment with focusing on different parts of your body and see if specific parts reduce the anxiety or not. Even focusing on the feeling of anxiousness can help release it. You can also experiment with focusing outwardly, at some external object. Basically I'd say just experiment putting your focus on all the senses and experiences to see how you feel; see, hear, taste, touch, smell, and all inward and outward variations of them.

So, I've been considering becoming a counsellor to just sort of pay the bills and help me gain more leverage in life overall. I'm nearly 30 and don't have much career capital and am really noticing the limits this has caused me, financially, with my health, for personal growth and spirituality, and even my life purpose. I find it's getting harder and harder, especially physically, to do jobs on the lower end of the job market. Things like serving, working in cafes, etc.. They also don't pay well, which translates to feeling/being limited for time, rest and recuperation, spending money on things that could drastically improve my life (like retreats, psychedelics, therapy, coaching, supplements, food, etc., etc.). Freedom is also one of my core values and I find working for others to be kind of difficult sometimes. So I've been considering just getting a masters in counselling so I can then have more marketable skills and training to help me earn more money. Ultimately leading to a better quality of life, even if it's not totally my life purpose. It could even help me with my life purpose since counselling is a pretty independent job you can do from anywhere these days. On the other hand, I don't know how much I'm motivated to do counselling. I mean, I've had this kind of low feeling about doing it. Like I'd rather be interacting with others in a more dynamic fasion. Maybe like a community leader of sorts. I'm not too sure. Though, I'm sure counselling can be applied to many fields, so I'm also trying to consider how it could be helpful to get even if I don't do strict 1-on-1 counselling. I'm also not too sure how much of a empathic, caregiving type I am. I mean I do get interested sometimes by others. Wisdom and Perspective giving was one of my top 3 strengths, and understanding is one of my top values (which to me means investigating and understanding myself and others psychologically, but more with things like symbolism, Jungian-type stuff, energies/forces/archetypes within that go beyond the merely personal level of the psyche and operate on a deeper more fundamental and powerful level). Anyways, what do you think? To me it sounds maybe a bit not totally right to do if I don't feel it. Especially since it would require a decent amount of time and money to get a masters. Though, I suppose you don't need to get a masters, you could just get smaller certifications and such.

K bud. Back off. I am not digging your tone. Jesus fucking Christ. You might have decent points, but I hate the tone. You don't think I spend hours fucking on this shit!? And that I don't already have some idea as to where and what I want to do?! FUCK! I might be into some brainstorming, but I dunno. I'm just not feeling the tone to be honest. I'm already fucking hard enough on myself as is. I don't need some extra pressure and some fucking asshole breathing down my neck pushing me even more, telling me I'm a fuck-up and not being on my fucking side. I struggle with the boundaries too sometimes, so if someone's like fucking pushing it I fucking hate it, I just fucking hate it. Ya, I've been through a decent amount of counselling. I know you're trying to help, it's just I'm in a fucking shitty feeling-state and situation at the moment and just fed up with all these people giving advice in the absolute worst ways. I just am getting sick of it all. That sounds appealing. Cheers. Ya, the whole certification thing might be a better route than taking a college degree. More practical it seems.

That's fair. I'm pretty solid when it comes to school work and being on top of that. Though, I am unsure how motivated and thus productive I'll be if I have my own counselling business and have to do the work-work part of things. I'm a bit worried of the "drain" factor, especially if it's not something I'm passionate about. Though, it could be good too. Dunno until I try it I suppose. I wonder if you can use that to do what you more deeply want. What is it you're thinking of now?

I've had a few experiences, one last night, where I felt lots of fear. Like a freaky fear feeling. For example, last night, I smoked a little bit of weed and then eventually it was like my awareness of the things around me suddenly just "brightened". I was thinking "What was in that weed?". Then, in bed, I started to just increase my mindfulness of everything I experience; mostly visual (outer world and my thoughts). The freaky part happened, which is what happened before (though the previous time I was completely sober), is that when I start to become increasingly aware of my thoughts I start to realize that my thoughts about my body, my self, and about the reality that's not in my direct visual field, are just that; thoughts! This is where I get the fear. It's like "Oh shit... This is all fucking unreal!" I get quite a bit of fear here and feel like maybe I should stop. Though, this most recent time, instead of stopping, I tried to just focus on who is the one who is scared and tried to overcome it. Anyways, I suppose I'm looking to vent this and let it out. Maybe see if anyone has any comments or suggestions or similar experiences. Also, I'm considering taking 5meo in the future, but am pretty apprehensive about it as my mental health hasn't been the best over the years. On the other hand I can see how this can be an excuse and result in me never taking it. I doubt I'll do it any time soon anyways since I'm pretty nervous to. Cheers

Ok. ...THAT I'M AWARE OF! JESUS EFFING CHRIST. Look, you guys just think it's so fucking easy to just not "think" fear and then it's fine! You don't understand. you're not appreciating how fucked this is. Like, it's not like I'm actually consciously experiencing me feeling a feeling of fear and then being like "Oh! I'll just label that fear now, so now I'll feel bad!" It's not that fucking easy. It's like you aren't fucking relating to my experience at all. "Just don't label the fear 'fear' and it will magically go away." Get fucked. It's like you just ignore this whole thing. I'm just fucking pissed that you guys think it's so fucking easy when you deal with fear so big and I'm just fucking tired of this. This advice that makes no sense to me at all and it's like you're not relating to my experience at all.

Ah, sorry to hear that (if you feel bad about it). What was your degree in? Ya, that's the thing; it does sort of sound in the realm of my LP, but also doesn't quite fit the bill emotionally, at least not at the moment. And ya, the whole masters thing is kind of a big one. I think whoever suggested exploring more sounds like where I'm at at the moment. That's kind of what's getting me excited and where I feel some "pull". I'm also just getting more clarity on my top values recently so that's a big plus. So far, some of my top values are... Freedom (so part of this means being able to travel for work or when I wish, have financial freedom, being my own boss, etc.) Understanding (which means understanding myself, and perhaps others too, though on a more like Jungian/symbolic level, and even using the "powers" etc. Like "forces" and occult stuff, "bigger" psyche stuff. Imaginal.) Diversity (connects with nature I think for me. Nature holds a lot of meaning for me). Tranquility (which I envision more as the place I live, so a quiet place where I can contemplate, study, etc. Just relax in peace and calm. Contemplate, etc.). Joy (I'm pretty sure anyways. This for me relates to doing things with others, like working together. I've gotten lots of energy when doing things with others when we're all working together to complete tasks. I get all jokey and fun. This might also connect with community, I've always felt a sense of deep meaning and love for people, groups of people, like community, and have envisioned and felt meaning in creating something like/has the feel of the Shire. I've felt this love for this that would really make me defend, protect the community as best I could, like I'd die for them). Friendship (kind of self-explanatory. Having like a best friend I feel close to and snuggle with, and then probably a larger close friend group as well). Connection (which is more about finding a romantic partner) Reality/Awareness (Not too sure which label, but it's related to awakening. That for me is big and fills me with love and joy and is meaningful, the whole awakening stuff). ... Then I'm not too sure what else. Perhaps Skill: so just being masterful and skilled at something. Some thing that gets me focus, something where I'm like skilled at some sort of activity or craft or something. Not too sure what other one. I've also noticed that there is like very specific definitions that values mean for people, while also there being more generic meanings. For example, Freedom for me could have a very specific definition and vision attached to it. Whereas it could also mean just doing things that generally people consider to lead to greater Freedom. I find this way of looking at values useful cuz then you can both work towards the most specific and meaningful vision you have for a value while also pursuing it in a general sense in the meantime. So, while I'm working towards earning $16 million, owning a white house with a large lawn surrounded by nature, I can also do things like find jobs that allow me to work from home, make my own schedule, and pay more.

I guess it would depend on how long you were conscious for and not experiencing the effects of things like adrenaline that numb the pain. Just like getting a really bad cut; when it happens it can feel like nothing. But after a while, when the hormones have worn off, it starts to throb and get really painful. Death itself is, I imagine, not painful since, well, you're dead. But the parts leading up to death could have all degrees of pain gather.

Your Results: Your Super Serious Title is: The Wild Empath Your Total Score: 53 out of 80 Your Out of Control Healer Score: 5 out of 10 Your Protection Tools Score: 16 out of 25 How Much You Mirror Others Unconsciously Score: 12 out of 15 Your Appreciation for Nature Score: 9 out of 10 You scored pretty high on the overall results. It is highly likely that you are an empath. You can get by socially, although it sounds like your intuitive social skills could be better. You like water but don't absolutely need to be near it. Your second chakra does okay. You love nature and unconsciously understand its healing effects -- which is a general, but strong indicator that you are an empath. You like nature and love to experience it's healing properties! But you seem fairly normal -- able to influence people at times. It looks like once in a while other people's energy effects you. You scored fairly poor on the "Mirroring Others Unconsciously" portion of the quiz. It looks like you have a tendency to mirror other people and their energy. Your score indicates that you would benefit from learning to run energy, ground yourself, and protect your aura. You are pretty good at protecting your aura and energy space, but might benefit from energy work. Lastly, you aren't out to heal the entire world and fix everyone's problems. Good job! --- Yay me! --- Personally, I think the biggest thing I face is like pleasing others, I think coming from some sort of fear of something bad happening if they dislike me and of conflict. Thus I get out of my "power" and personal authenticity. I think I'm getting better and knowing when to not initiate, or not continuing to initiate and act like I'm still willing to converse and listen, when I know I feel low energy and need to replenish and don't have anything to give. Still a work in progress but I guess that's just it, it takes practice. I definitely agree with the nature thing though. Big source of calm for me.

Yup. I would say I'm really sensitive to noises and sound. It's been a huge issue for my personal growth combined with living environments. Even as I write, I can hear my roommates TV (TV noise is the most annoying for me), even if it probably would be considered a low-level of noise by most. In my future rental resumes, under preferences, I'm going to put "Quiet as the grave." Jk I've heard a few theories on high sensitivity. Both could be true depending on the individual, etc. One is the highly-sensitive personality, which says basically that some people are simply more sensitive than others. The other is that people with emotional trauma can become more sensitive to things. For me, I think it could be both. Even since I was young I think I've been sensitive to noises; I remember going downstairs to ask my parents to keep the TV noise lower since I felt I couldn't sleep. Our house was pretty big as well. But ya, I find it a big nuissance and emotional burden. Stress. Frustration. Anger. Pain in the ass-ness. I find it so hard to concentrate, do meditation, and just be good relaxing and doing things if I can hear that slight sound of the tv on etc.. The worst part is that my mind just fixates on the sound and then I can't stop ruminating and hearing it, and the anger builds and builds etc.. I think I'm better with people's voices though, like if they're having a conversation or something. Even then though. Glad to hear others have issues with this though, helps to normalize it and make it seem more bearable. We should unite into a new political party and stat making our own anti-sound legislation and usher in a new era of peace and tranquility. No noise after 8:30. No sounds above x Hz. And instead of book burnings we'll have T.V. burnings . Ahhhhh, that's the dream right there.

I didn't read all the comments. But if you can somehow call the police, or even just start with a counsellor, I'm sure they have smart ways of handling situations like this to ensure that those in danger are protected and those responsible are prosecuted and safely dealt with.

Me. Dumb. haha. Wow. I dunno. This just seems too far. like seriously, he could screw his whole life up. That's not worth some reporting that's maybe a bit more accurate. Even cost-benefit analysis and considering the consequences; the benefits you get from having a super small number of people who watch/read your content know that it's more accurate vs. the costs of the butterfly effects of the reporter possibly getting addicted to meth (not only practical things, like paying for rehab, losing jobs, etc., but also the emotional toll and negative pull he'll have on the people around him) is, to me, wayyyyy to small to be worthwhile. Besides, you could just ask people who do it and get the same thing. I also think/feel it seems sort of arrogant and self-aggrandizing.

Sending love your way, along with all the well-wishing and heart warming possible.

Whatever you do, resign and take the new job. Worst comes to worst, it's only 15 days. You can take it.

Yes. And yes.

Hey. I'm doing a little research on the types of things people have for their life purpose statements. I'm wanting to get a better idea about what that looks like, or can look like. Also, I'd appreciate if you could write a little bit about if you feel "solid" in your LP statement, or if things still need refining. Hearing about what clicked for you and what didn't would also help. Cheers

I'll give it a go and see. My first objection (without having tried it first) is that when I feel fear I'm not aware of any thoughts in my head. Like there's the fear in the body, then like me being aware of it, and not much going on in thought-land. But I'll give it a go. Cheers. Would you say to do this for any fear? Cuz I don't get the experience and related fear mentioned in the first post commonly... just those two experiences.

Ya. I'm confused at what that is. I'm especially looking for a skill or skill set I can work on and master over the long-term. I often get periods where I feel like I should and could be using my time to be working on a skill, but I mostly just fail to come up with anything. I feel frustrated at this cuz the motivation is there but I feel I have nothing to use it towards. That's the thing on my mind recently. Though, I've also started to feel really excited about the idea of having more freedom in my work. As in perhaps the ability to be traveling and exploring as I work (or for my work), visiting different people and places. Maybe even doing it online partially. Yet also something involving connecting with others I think. Perhaps some sort of consulting work. Maybe in community building, interpersonal and organizational relations or conflict resolution... Tis a mystery for now. Cheers