Matt23

Cheers yall Nice stuff

Hmmm.... how financially convenient for pharmaceutical companies... First it was making phones that only last 2 years before you have to buy a new one, now it's vaccines. Do I dare say... "conspiracy"?! Jk jk Leo/Mods... Jk...

Heart

Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 5.33 | Avoidance: 4.33 Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 4.33 | Avoidance: 3.00 Score Partner: Anxiety: 4.67 | Avoidance: 4.67

Perhaps. I honestly haven't studied it in depth, so I don't know too much about it. But I hear one of the main distinctions is that, rathe than in regular therapy where the therapist maintains a detached relationship with the client, in AEDP, the therapist engages with the client, showing emotion, reflecting, engaging, and just relating. I think this is based more on the idea of co-regulation (see Polyvagal theory) and re-establishing a secure attachment figure in order to proceed with moving through traumatic and difficult emotions safely and productively. The second distinction, which takes off from the place of moving through difficult or traumatic emotions, is a focus on first obviously identifying and feeling the emotion (even positive ones), but then really investigating how the feeling feels. Asking questions like "How does it feel to be vulnerable and alone?", or "What's it like to be you right now?", etc.. They said that this process is dynamic with the therapist and that this last piece really helps integrate the positive and cathartic experiences of feeling the emotions in the first place. I think they found that in regular therapies people would have these cathartic and emotional experiences, but then they'd often revert back to old patterns. Communicating and really exploring how the feelings feel, they say, is a key piece in integrating those experiences. Exercise recommendation I've even tried it out and it seems to really help. Meaning, whereas before if I felt something (mostly negative), I'd try to investigate it using emotionally laden language, or language with high positive or negative value meanings. But this time, I tried really using more concrete language to describe the sensations. For example, if I felt some fear, I'd say "How does this feel?". Then I'd proceed to say something like "It's sort of a crushing feeling in my chest. There's some coldness as well, which lies sort of in the middle of the crushing sensation and is about the size of an almond. It lies right in the middle of my chest where my ribs meet." I found this to be far more effective at moving through emotions than saying something like "I feel fear. It's like I'm scared of feeling alone. I just feel like someone will leave me. etc.", which could just go on forever without any feelings of release or resolution. I'd recommend trying it out.

Could be a good idea. At least in part (especially the values section,,, seems to be something right up my alley at the moment, and in a more felt-sense way rather than disconnected intellect). Cheers

Just watched this movie. Is sooooo about enlightenment n all that stuff. Quote: "You can't even handle my infinite nature!" Hard to even explain what it's about. With... Mark Wahlberg Jason Schwartzmann Jude Law Dustin Hoffman Noami Watts really good

I think that's the key: the feeling. The behavior is almost irrelevant I think. As in, one can, say in your case, go to the dinner and feel obligated and resentful, or one can go and feel as if they made that choice feeling free. Perhaps sometimes it's easy to change how you feel and do the thing. Other times perhaps it's not and one's inner feelings deserve to be respected, since it could be that though that difference might seem small, sometimes, for some people, that change in feeling obligated vs. feeling free and autonomous could be years of personal development to become that one who's let go of all their guilt, blame, and dependencies such that any choice they make feels free and like it's their own. Trust what feels good (as I believe @Nahm would say). ... Where does the name "Nahm" even come from? Am curious.

I would absolutely not suggest anyone be inauthentic for any reason, apart from like obvious danger or extremely dire needs like you need to lie to a Nazi officer to escape being killed or something. Or you need to survive. But for this, be yourself as much as possible. You have to develop your own sense of self and autonomy before you prioritize pleasing others. Then, when you do feel truly in control of your own choices and life and not doing things out of guilt or fear or obligation, then maybe feel what's true for you and maybe that's when putting others first is a better strategy. But that'll take a while probably (I'm also not saying this as a black or white thing like "never" doing things for others. Obviously that's silly. But just as an overall priority and focus perhaps). I don't know what to do for this particular situation. But, I'd suggest as an overall strategy to work on making yourself You. People will call you selfish and all that, forget about it. One of the things you need to do is to push past that as best you can and develop your own sovereignty. This is what ends of making a truly authentic, soveriegn, and mature human being: the ability to not be influenced by others and truly make your own decisions based off your own sense of what's best to do. Of all the developmental models I've studied and experts talking about this, this seems to be the way.

Even here in Canada, a relatively progressive country (not to mention I live in BC which is probably the most progressive province in Canada), we still have to pay for mental health treatments. I think we can get tax deductions if we see a registered psychologist (as opposed to clinical counsellors or other therapists), but I don't know how much deductions that is. I think for most people, getting into a good company that provides healthcare support is probably the best way to go.

Totally. I know some people who can smoke weed all day (or "need" it) and are like relatively fine (can hold down jobs and relationships; not saying they are super healthy, but at least they can function and get by). But for me, I can smoke like 2 puffs of a joint and start to feel very unstable bordering on psychosis. Other psychedelics for me don't have that feeling. It's hard to describe. But weed to me tends to get me to uncomfortable places. Like just the other day I did 1ml of CBD oil (I think it was 15mg of CBD and 0.6mg of THC) and felt it for like a day and a half. Towards the end of which I definitely wasn't feeling grounded or "together" mentally-emotionally. My landlady says she doesn't like weed and can only handle a little bit as well. I wonder what it is in weed that can do this. I've heard other people talk about it in similar ways, maybe even heard some studies pointing to cannabis as linked or triggers for things like schizophrenia and other psychoses.

AEDP Also, consider that depending on a person's developmental level, certain therapies could be more helpful and appropriate than others. Rather than one therapy being the "best". So, maybe if someone is at a Self-Authoring stage, psychotherapy might be better and looking and their life story. But, if someone is at a Rule-Role mind level, something like Internal Family Systems therapy might be more beneficial.

Am using this as a way to journal and process. Feel free to comment or not. Appreciated. Well, I accepted a full-time job at FedEx after getting fired from one of my part-time jobs. I'm going to give my two-weeks' notice to my other part-time job at a restaurant as well. I feel, hmm... a little down or negative. Like heavy chested. Maybe as if I'm not upholding some deep value of mine, or some purpose or commitment to something. Perhaps it's community and developing relationships with others (things which the restaurant job definitely beat FedEx out on). FedEx certainly isn't optimized for that. But, I felt pressure to get a new job from a financial and basic survival perspective. It does pay a lot better, and I'll be able to save money much easier. After three months they even give dental and health plans and a $1000 signing bonus. It seems like there is also more Freedom involved in this job which I definitely enjoy. Either way, I suppose I can always change again if it doesn't fit the bill. I would like some work that enables me to feel aligned with my top values and is relatively stress-free while I work on my life purpose and career. At least to a degree that I feel is sustainable long-term. But hey, maybe there aren't entry-level jobs that are sustainable long-term. Or maybe that's not what I really want. I dunno. I just hope I don't accept this job, do it, find out it's really not for me and that the social work environment is toxic for me, and end up leaving it in a few months to yet again find another job. Maybe I feel a bit stressed and tired of changing jobs so much and desire something long-term. Ya, something long-term and sustainable financially which also doesn't make me feel like I'm dishonoring my top values and what is most meaningful to me. That may be a tall order. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. But it seems that it's something I've found difficult to get and sustain. Looking back on my living and work history, I seem to have jumped around quite a bit. From job to job, city to city. I think I'm starting to crave and see the benefits in settling down somewhere so I can develop a comfortable foundation (financially, socially, habits, etc.) from which building more aspirational and meaningful things is easier to do. Lesson: It's difficult to build amongst chaos without an at least somewhat comfortable living situation. And I mean "build" in perhaps the broadest sense. Whether that's physical things like a garden, or more psychological things like relationships or even a new and improved self (habits being, as I see it, a foundational aspect of creating a new self: new habits, new self). It's difficult to choose wisely, to choose what's most meaningful, when feeling pressure and fear. Therefore, perhaps making more long-term plans and goals and thinking ahead is wise. So that, when push comes to shove and a choice needs to be made stat, you're ready and know exactly what to do without hesitation or doubt (if this is 100% possible I'm not sure). It's almost like, if you're not building and choosing consciously ahead of time, then life will throw things at you and you'll have to fly by the seat of your pants: You can choose how many balls you want to juggle beforehand, making you more prepared and confident in juggling. Or you can wait till the time comes to juggle and let others throw any number of balls at you not knowing how many are coming your way. How will I do, behave, differently in the future? What are some things I can change behaviorally?: Good question... let me noodle on that a bit.

I don't know if this will help, but I once spoke with a woman, maybe 50 years old, who seemed quite mature and grounded. In Spiral Dynamics language I'd say she's mid-green level of consciousness. Anyways, she grew up in China and had a daughter there. Though, as time continued, she realized she needed to leave China and move to Canada. For some reason, this meant she'd have to leave her daughter behind at a young age. She chose to do it. She did feel lots of regret and guilt about it over the years, but when I spoke with her several months ago, she said that she had accepted the choice she made and made peace with it. She said she felt she did the right thing, and when she said this, emotionally I found it difficult to understand it, but I could feel that there was positivity in that story. Perhaps a deeper knowing and love. I don't know if you should leave her or not. I just hope that if you do, or even if you don't, this story can help somehow. Perhaps it shows how even situations and choices we usually think of as unforgiveable can be accepted, loved, and forgiven, and that our deepest ideas and feelings of what's truly good and bad can be mistaken. We don't always know what's good or bad in the end. No matter how we feel about it now.

I suppose A), you could threaten to call the cops (knowing when he's going out to drink etc.), B) live and let live. But, for me, I know I'd be more concerned for the safety of other drivers and himself. So, it's sort of a more safety oriented thing rather than a values thing. In that case, I think informing local law enforcement wouldn't be a bad idea. I once worked for an employer who would drive drunk. I threatened to call the cops on him is he didn't stop. I got fired, but I suppose it's better to make some sort of effort to protect people from harm. In your case, at least he's not an employer.

Start by asking people you know, friends, family, acquaintances, if you can give them free meditation lessons. Then log the time you've put in for future reference and your resume. You could even ask for testimonials.----- make yourself aware to your community and others what you're offering and the more you interact with others and share what you want to give, the more people will know you, and the more connections and possibilities will arise with each interaction. == "Oh! You want to teach meditation? My brother is a meditation teacher. He's actually works for an personal-growth organization which is looking for more meditation teachers. I'll give you his contact info to so you can chat with him about it." Volunteer teach at local meditation/yoga centers (or for money). Online events (Meetup, zoom, etc.). Get some certifications: I know one yoga studio I wanted to do a meditation class for only hires people who have taken long courses with credentials. So it depends. But if you get certification, like MSBR, then even organizations and schools (like colleges etc.) may want your services. That could possibly be a big contract. Go to community centers and hold events n stuff. Work at retreat centers. Become a monk for a period of time. Go on retreats. Get that experience. Read, study. Websites, videos, blogs, books. You could even organize like a mindfulness or wellness day or something at a local venue where you get other teachers and practitioners (meditation, yoga, reiki, massages, etc.) to come and set up booths n stuff for the public to come try out. You could do some stuff there. At-home or online meditation coach = get some cards, a website, some credentials, BAM! Partner up with someone else, or maybe an organization/business already in your local area, which is focused on healing and stuff. I know in Vancouver there's a few businesses like this which offer a variety of healing modalities and self-improvement services. Might be able to land some work teaching meditation for them.

@flume Cheers. I did already do the course several years ago. I still haven't done all the readings. But I went through it pretty diligently. There might be a few odds n' ends I haven't totally done yet, maybe even just the book reading list. Over the past several months I've been refining my values a bit. Seems to be more aligned and true for me now I have some space. Honestly, I think just having more life experience has helped more than the course. Just knowing what I like, what works, and doesn't.

That shiny noggin

Cheers. Have you used it or any?

Hey. Does anyone know of a place where I can get a heavy metal urine test? I want to start this process of investigating heavy metal toxicity in myself. I am also aware of first getting x-rays on my teeth to look for amalgam. But am not sure if it's necessary in my case as the only amalgams I had were on my baby teeth. Perhaps some could've got stuck in the gums and stayed there? Dunno. Either way, I appreciate any sources or websites. I know Leo says no sourcing, but I figured that's just for psychedelics and drugs, etc.. Cheers

I see principles as being more like guidelines for behavior. Guidelines that one adopts since they think it will give them a certain result. Like codes of behavior, thinking, feeling, or interacting. Values i see as being more broad. So, you can value certain principles, like being honest in conversation. Yet, you can also value your dog, a certain book, or making $3000 a month. You can even value certain feelings. So, in short, values for me cover a more broad category of things one, well, values and likes and sees as desireable. Whereas I see principles as guidelines for behavior to achieve certain outcomes (or values). In a certain way... Principles = How Values = What

they give times to take the chelator after your last exposure. Does the last exposure mean like a large and obvious one, or even just like food and water etc.? Cuz that would be difficult to completely eliminate.

Starting at 47:40, you speak of how to do the rounds. You mentioned DMPS, ALA, and then you said DMPS again. I think this is a mistake since one of them is supposed to be DMSA. Could you clarify? I think there was another similar mistake earlier on but I forget. Cheers.

Thanks. It was mostly for Leo's awareness for other people.