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Everything posted by Matt23
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Honestly sounds like getting to know people... like just sort of counselling in a way. As in just asking people about themselves, their lives, how they seen things, etc.. ... Do you want to know cuz you want to do some sort of coaching or counselling? Or just curiosity? Either way, these models could be general psychological heuristics... but I doubt that an effective coaching or counselling session will play that too much. I think effective coaching or counselling is mostly about how well the coach or therapist can listen, reflect, ask key questions at perfect times, and basically be able to elicit a change within the other person rather than feeding advice, theories, etc.. Not that you wouldn't offer advice or theories, but I don't think those are usually very effective.
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It seems I'm in a very similar situation: 29, haven't had a job much longer than 3 months, relationships/sex not there much, good in academics, depression/anxiety a lot, etc.. Just feeling like the basics are a struggle and to just get to a point of stability by myself (without relying/being dependent on others/family/etc., in a sense of like, not saying dependence is a bad thing necessarily, but that it could be necessary depending where you are, like if you are in a really shitty state and need to depend on others... but that at some point you/peeps need to develop out of that to independence to not be reliant on others... at least for the basics n stuff...) Anyways... Ya. Diane Musho Hamilton discussed how stability is actually a developmental milestone. and how it's actually, for some people, the path forward. Obviously after that comes like the part about exploring and expanding and taking chances etc... but for many I think it's a good place to aim for. And even some, myself included, seem to feel some struggle getting there long-term. But ya... Good to know others feel similar and seem to be experiencing similar difficulties. Just cuz it's a struggle don't mean you broke. Just maybe an individual-environment fittedness thing.
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How. From what I heard, at least for Susan's model, they used largely sentence completion tests with many people. Basically, they started giving people sentence stems (starts of sentences) which they had people fill out on their own. The completions they wrote could be whatever they wanted. I guess they basically just compiled all the responses from people and saw perhaps certain patterns and types of responses. This is my understanding. Which they could then base certain groupings around and typologies. etc.. I think there's more to it probably, perhaps, but this is my little understanding of it. Look it up. Check wiki etc.. For Spiral Dynamics, the originator actually used his college psychology students, and even observed them through a secret mirror so they didn't know he was doing the tests/observations. Obviously these days that wouldn't fly, but I suppose it at least lends credibility.
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Maybe it won't. Maybe being truthful, honest, and authentic won't get you what you want. But it might give You what you want. It might make you way more happy and fulfilled. Even if that means not having the richy-rich stuff, or w/e, your programming/ego thinks it wants. perhaps,.,., dunno . Ya. This. Let it flow. Let it flow when it scares you as well... this is where the practice comes in. Like, just let loose, see what happens. Be so authentic it kills you and makes you squirm lol. Just be yourself.. meaning; loosen the grip you have on what you say, feel, think, and do. Just let it go. let it all go. Takes fucking courage man. But shit is it liberating. I've been trying it on for years and I still have tons more to do. It's a lifelong journey. a true path towards mastery, truth, and love. ,,, n all that.
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Saying you'll never binge eat again might not be feasible. It might. It might not. Dunno. I used to binge eat hard on junk food. What worked for me was basically first switching the types of foods I was binge eating on. So I allowed myself to eat as much as I wanted, only that it couldn't be like sugars, wheats, dairies, and crap food. So I'd binge on dried and undried fruits, rice, peanut butter, veggies, and stuff like that. Then I started working more on my emotional and psychological side and I think over the years I just don't have the urrge as much (either from developing enough awareness and discipline, or from shedding emotional weight, or both). The pain was great as well. For me I notice that whenever I binge eat it's mostly due to some underlying emotion I don't want to experience. Another thing I tried was, whenever I had a craving to binge eat, I'd just stop and assume that there was an emotion or feeling I was running from that was driving the binge eating urge. I'd then try to just feel the feeling as best as I could for a few minutes. (I'd suggest making a fixed amount of time, could be like seconds, a minute, a few minutes, or more depending what you think is feasible for you). Then I'd allow myself to eat the food.
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Cheers
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So I started doing the 4-core two weeks prior to chelating my first time. But the day I did them, I got pretty disruptive and intense stomach cramps, burps, reflux, and just felt awful in my guts. I stopped the next day but it still sort of continued, perhaps even till the third day. I feel better now. These are the amounts I was taking as recommend by the Andy Cutler facebook group protocol. Zinc: 50mg daily (I did it at night) Magnesium citrate: 150mg 4 times daily (I think this may be a likely culprit as I think I've reacted badly to magnesium in the past). Vit. E: 400IU 3 times daily. Vit. C: 1000mg 4 times daily. I just don't want to ruin my stomach or other things more by doing this, especially since it was very uncomfortable. Any thought, other options, opinions, recommendations, etc., welcomed. Cheers
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Matt23 replied to Natasha's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Thanks for this lol -
Cheers. ... zinc without food eh? They recommended it with food. I'll try without. Though, i have been taking it for a few days now ans am doing fine. I'll check that out.
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Ya. Might be wise. Also might try just adding one supplement at a time to see the effects. Cheers
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Cheers
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@puporing Did you do the 4 Core supplements from the Andy Cutler protocol and start those 2 weeks prior to chelating your first time?
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I worked at a group home for people with severe mental and physical disabilities for 3-ish months. It was ok for me. One woman had been doing it for like 20 years, most were younger though. Some had diplomas in social work, others nursing, still others like myself just signed up and got it with no specific education or background. It was a lot of just taking care of basic, pragmatic things, with some other things like just chilling with them, de-escalating conflicts, having fun, etc.. Like a caretaker basically. I didn't enjoy it too much. I think I wanted to do my own thing too much lol. Maybe not enough freedom for me. It was like basically being a mom or dad or camp counsellor; cleaning, doing meals, washing, helping with self-care (meds, brushing teeth, cutting nails, etc.), providing some entertainment when they wanted it. Nothing too fancy dancy fosho. But the people were nice enough. And I did, do, care about the people as well. Just maybe not my ideal setting for work. But, like @ZenSwift said, some people love it.
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Matt23 replied to Preety_India's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Try learning and practicing to just "let it go". First feel the emotions and sensations in your body (separately from the thoughts and stories etc. in your mind). Just focus on the bodily sensations. And don't try to suppress them, but try instead to feel them fully. Let them all out (in yourself with awareness, rather than expressing unhinged). Then as you get more used to this, you might find they dissipate more and more. Then you can even try just consciously letting them go. As a choice. This process is like trying to first transcend the anger, stories, and feelings buy becoming aware of them and not caught in them. Then comes the part about being able to just observe them, which leads to you realizing you can let them go (or not). -
Matt23 replied to Brenzo2's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You can also look up "trip killers". They'll help you come down from a trip relatively quickly... though i dunno if there are any for mdma. -
Matt23 replied to Brenzo2's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Helped me and didn't seem very harmful. Get them tested. You can buy drug testibg kits online specific to mdma and that test the presence of other drugs. See if your city has any free or paid drug testing services. In Vancouver there is a place you can literally just walk up to the counter, you give them your drugs, and they test them and call you with the results all for free. Buy from a trusted source. Do it like any other psychedelic trip: plan a few days off, set and setting, alone or with a sitter, clean your room or apartment, etc.. however you like it to deel comfy. Id recommend water, some food, and vitamins as this can help prevent "the crash" afterwards. I know for me, i did it twice and the first time i did it without food and the second time with a decent meal an hohr or two afterwards (cant remember) and i felt no crash after. Maybe fruit too. 120mg is the recommended starter from my sources. I did 120mg and then a booster dose of 80mg an hour or so afterwards.... or just when i felt the effects wearing off. -
K... soooo if we join another forum by invite from another person that's not via this forum, we get banned? I don't even know the forum or the people you're talking about. How can I know if I join some other forum (again, not by some recruiting happening on this forum) I won't just get banned without knowing?
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Or people want to do the right thing and think they're doing the right thing, but... they ain't doin the right thing. Media and advertising misleading people could be a big cause.
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I just see you taking this as too black and white (or rather, introverted and extroverted), and like you have some resentment around the introversion part that is maybe, probably I think, being unfair due to the resentment. Perhaps coming from some pain in the past or struggles you currently have, which are totally legit and understandable. I could be way off, totally. But just maybe it's best to try and appreciate each side. This doesn't even have to be just a "dishonestly trying to make everything equal so I can feel better" thing, I think if you actually, legitimately, looked at the pros and cons of each side, you'd find a bunch on each. Of course, you'd have to step outside your biases and such, which can be difficult fosho. But ya, just try it out. Even asking others for their input here is a step you can take. Make a list. Think outside the box. You can do this exercise with any polarity. It'll hopefully make you see in a more balanced way and simultaneously feel more at peace, balanced, and whole. What are the downsides of x (your preferred side of the polarity. In this case it sounds like it's extroversion)? Ex: Missing out on the awesome feelings you can have alone doing spiritual exercises; the peace, the bliss, love, etc. Ex: Getting too caught up in what others are doing and then feeling empty due to not living your own values. Ex: Being too social to the point where you have to deal with more politics and interpersonal drama, thus sapping your energy and positivity. and then... What are the upsides of y (the side of the polarity you dislike, in this case introversion)? Ex: Confidence at being able to be anywhere in the world and know you can feel at home since all you need is you. Ex: More thoughtful (not necessarily, but perhaps there's an increased likelihood if you do more introversion) Ex: More clarity in what you want out of life and thus perhaps more chance in getting there. Also... I think it's important to know that not all introverts are necessarily more thoughtful or spiritual, and not all extroverts are necessarily more confident and social capable. Maybe extroverts are in general more comfortable expressing emotions around others which can maybe make them seem more confident. But all the while they could be extremely shy or uncomfortable. I at least have remembered hearing that from people I considered extroverted and very confident. Yet they still suffered from lots of low self-esteem etc.. In Sum: Looks can be deceiving.
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Lol Ermm... Ya, stronger more well thought out reasons and values. More clear direction and vision. Both from more alone time. More able to thrive in conditions that require mpre solitude and other aspects of being more introverted. Perhaps less dependency on others and this perhaps strength of the individual. Im sure theres a lot more.
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What I got from the first Video The response against Russia has been too large and is coming from what John calls "the network". This is a decentralized system made up of the global village and communications technologies. Basically, nobody controls it and it has the potential to cause too much of a response against Russia, effectively isolating it just like North Korea. This could be extremely dangerous since Russia has the largest nuclear arsenal in the world (600 nukes compared to China's 200/300 and U.S.'s 5), and when a bear is threatened, it gets dangerous. But the issue is we can't turn of the response since it isn't in control from one entity or government, but is created via different bussiness, organizations, and people all connected through the internet, media, facebook, youtube, etc.. What I got from the second Video Samo thinks that the sanctions against Russia will drive it more towards China, which has the economic ability to disconnect from the western economic system. Effectively creating another system altogether. This may also rally other nations who aren't in the western world to that side of things. Putin isn't as crazy as people think. Russia will gain much of Ukraine. Europe will suffer lots from this war in the future. The U.S. may actually benefit from it a little. This could be a big miscalculation on Russia's behalf, or brilliant. Brilliant especially if it leads to the west's downfall. But also remember that it took a few hundred years for Rome's civilization to fall. So these things don't happen overnight.
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So, yoj believe you'll be "insane" if yoj get help? Sounds about right to me. Is that true? I'd spend some time each day or weekly digging up those beliefs and letting them go or/and challenging them. Perhaps asking things like "what fo i believe will happen if i do x?". Or "If i do y, what does that mean about me?" Hopefully it helps.
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Matt23 replied to Matt23's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
.... mmmmm.... I'm suspicious lol. Meditating and doing self-inquiry since about 2014. Various types: mindfulness, bodyscan, various self-inquiry techniques, some Dzogchen, walking meditations, do-nothing, breath, focusing techniques, loving-kindness and Metta meditations, Brahma vihara meditations, visualization techniques, some psychedelics (2 retreats and several of my own trips: Ayahuasca, Iboga, Huachuma, psylocibin, LSD, MDMA, some research chemical I forget the name of), breathwork (solo, with a guide, and once in a big group session), circling and communication/sharing practices online, Kirtan (group music) a few times... 5-7 day camping solos (a couple of these).... ummm... ya. Some group meditations as well. I'd probably just want some certificates to get accredited. It's harder to just go into a meditation hall without a certificate and be like "Yoooo. I got meditation skills snice 2014, can I teach here?" Fair. -
Are you starting to become tired and even pained by this life? I suppose... if so and you're wanting to become more loving with people... One way I'm sort of been experiencing this lately is (I've had a similar experience... or at least a similar general experience of going full hermit and then wanting to connect with others more)... is that I notice how much feeling-love I have for people, even in person too... but also how much hate and frustration as well. One way may be to practice empathy deliberately. Another could be just doing work and projects with others, volunteer even, and just get to know people and the struggles and complexities of being a human via others. This may generate more care and compassion for them as you get to see how difficult and complex it is, thus, you may develop more tolerance for them and forgiveness (at the very least). This could backfire as well since, if you do it too much, you may get more disgruntled. So I suppose a key may be to do something you personally find meaningful and do it with others so that the intrinsic meaning you feel will hopefully carry you through the tough shit with people so that you grow from the experience rather than get discouraged.