Anubis

I liked the analogy of dressing the part though. The way you dress will influence how people act towards you.

I'm starting on my life purpose, and I'd love to connect to someone who's also on theirs. We are all stuck in our homes these days, it would be sort of like being together in our aloneness if that makes sense. Looking for a regular partnership also, where both parties are equally invested in (its important for it to work). I've been on my own for a long time and want to interact with people again; i truly believe we are stronger together! Send me a message if you're interested.

@Scholar Im not sure if i understood your description but it was an interesting read.. I can relate to the part where you say everything is so deeply mysterious however. It truly is mysterious. I cannot wrap my mind around how mysterious it is. Why would you call it an illusion though?

@Leo Gura

@crab12 Hehe I appreciate the dedication ..makes sense. Merry Christmas to all!

Going through a very similar phase @Mindfang413 . I feel you. I hope it gets better for you, its not easy. Im not sure about this. The purpose of your life is what you make of it regardless of God or whatever else. People who lived in the middle ages didnt have the luxury to ask themselves this question for example; when really many of them would have had lived more purposeful lives if they had done something else than harvesting wheat in the summer and salting pork to survive in winter. Deep down that farmer would have wanted to be an explorer, a musician or maybe he would have been a great businessman. But because of the context of the time and place, he was confined to being a peasant. That became his purpose. Or maybe i'm wrong, maybe we have a different understanding of the word purpose. Maybe you would call that destiny instead.. Why is the true self not feeling fucked up? Why wouldn't that be the case instead? Why does the true self have to be an alignement? So many things in reality are out of alignement as well as in alignement, why is one true and not the other? (i dont mean to nitpick also, was just intriguided by your answers to OP's question, so thanks for that input)

@remember yes it makes sense. Everytime i put myself out there i feel more alive. Still afraid though. Thanks for the pointer for the vipassana retreat. I'll check it out. Sounds really hard too. @assx95 Yea i should start this habit again. Thanks for the reminder. Doing 20 min tonight, after this post. @28 cm unbuffed You've been through this too? You felt the same way towards life and death then, the way i described it? And yes, alot of things are going wrong. But its interesting because if i am in movement (ie. going out, meeting people, striving towards my goals,..) I kind of forget that state of mind for a moment. This is very true.. pretty much describes my mentality rn.

I feel deeply stuck. The title looks confusing but hear me out; I want to die and at the same time i'm too afraid to kill myself. I also don't want to live, just thinking about everything i need to do and work on in order to have a relatively good life depresses me. I think i am too lazy to do anything. Ultimately my only wish is to lay in bed and read. Thats all i want to do. I dont want to live, I dont want to die, I just want to be in a place where i can rest forever. Maybe thats what death is but we just dont know. I feel like there is nowhere I can run to. I am alive now. This is my reality. If i die, how do i know it would be restful. There is no 'home base'. No place that i know for sure will be secure and where i can rest forever. Everything is so mysterious too. The fact that i am alive to type these words, and that you're reading them is truly strange. And so when i dont distract myself with day to day life i feel deeply confused and afraid, of life and death. I wish i could invite someone in my mind so we could just sit there together and i wouldnt be so alone in there.. but we're all alone like this right. Thats where i'm at now basically. I'm lazy to the deepest degree and wished for an exit. But I feel like there is no reliable exit door i can go through to opt out of this life-death duality altogether. I'm stuck in limbo.

How do you engage in any relationship with other people without all the attachment and neediness? For example without the feelings of anxiety when a message is left unanswered, or the need to be with the other person, or the feeling of loneliness when the other person isn't there etc.