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My life actually improved when I stopped self development, lol. All you need is contemplation and massive action. Go make money and forget all the bs. Then when your done, go straight to spirituality. Thats it.

Action and proper calculation

@flyingguitarist Which section?

I've seen sadhguru ocassionally repeating the fact that he wished he had awoken alot earlier. So, do awoke people in this forum have any regrets? How does that work if possible?

How is that even if im good looking, extrovert with positive personality and confident, girls feel attratcted towards me but the moment they sense some negativity or lack focus from me they get repelled. Its like am positive and negative at the same time. For example, in the past I didnt care much about money so i never had a sense of lack in it but my finances sucked. Still, girls got much attratcted to me. Now, "to be realistic" I kinda had to focus on the lack of it to improve it. If not I would still not care and suck at it. Also, I discovered that the more real I am as I dropped many of my illusions my life has improved overall. Specially suffering to some extent. But i find that I had more success with women when I was more deluded. When I had more powerful dreams and delusions. They can smell that perfume of my delusions and get seduced by them. Now I find that only a few girls really get attratcted to me. The more real I have become, the harder this has become. Including expressing even my negativity. In the past I used to hide my negativity and almost always just show positivity. I could get laid easier but everything was built on a house of cards. Just want to know if anyone has gone through something like this. Dating is a fckng invisible maze to never end. The more I discover the more I discover I have lot to discover. So, is it that as I have changed to more realness, has also my niche changed in the sex market? When I try to attract the girls I used to in the past, the elite rich girls, they get attratcted but also intimidated or even hate me. Its like i carry too much realness for their delusions. Aside from this, I want to know how much does carrying negativity is responsible for success in dating. Im not a negative person, but am aware that am carrying some negative emotions and stress from not so long ago traumas.

@Khr I was delusional in the sense of being inside deeper mental dream states. Now im more real in an animalistic sense. My authenticity is raw animalistic. Im more grounded, direct, assertive, agressive, confrontational, savage and confident. See all those qualities have recontextualized my dating niche completely. I feel weird even trying to approach such girls. Nvm, dating is just too complex. Its not as easy as living in U.S or europe. Third World countries just suck for it. It has made my dating live a fckng maze. And not only mine, but almost every atttactive guy here has lots of problems too. Location and culture is crucial. Just add those two factors plus all the shit you got to learn to date properly. It makes dating extremely random. You might get results once a month, cuz the mass quantity is extremely low for something of good value. What is a 9 here is a 7 in U.S. Which makes good looking girls extremely high value. Thats why I cant depend my sex on pickup in here due to so many fckng factors. You need time to practice too, but i got shit to do. So is a fckng endless maze. So many distinctions to make, so much memorizing, so much updating your knowledge to the current market to where you are... So much stuff no wonder why so many guys suck at it. Its not just you and being confident,etc. Enligthenment is kid stuff compared to succesful consistent dating. For enligthenment you just need to want it and have some balls. You can isolate yourself or invest 90% of your time in it and in a week you will have some results in your meditation. And even better, you can just use psychedelics to get a 100% awakening. Why am I not after enligthenment right now? Well, theres 95% probability my future would go to the garbage can if I fck it or who knows what even after. Spiritual teachers are mostly positive scammers.

Im curious to know if the video is really that powerful to shake my head as Leo says in the intro. I was about to watch it, but took leo seriously since Im trying to improve my social life, money, physique and personality.

@Nahm Thats what I thought. I dont remember exactly how Jed Mackenna said in one part, as after his enligthenment he was kinda upset. Like it was boring and it was not so different as he thought compared to his previous zombie mode life. Yes suffering was gone, but he kinda liked the zombie way too. He said it in a way kinda regretting permanent enligthenment. Which also makes me wonder why he went anonymus. Also, no enligthened being will ever sell enlightenment as something he regret, that would be dumb even if he did. Yet, I have caught several spiritual teachers trying to lie and manipulate to trick others. For example, Shunyamurti and Osho. Im not denying their love, light, truth, genius, etc. Actually, thats the part that compensates and hides any negative aspect from their followers. After all enligthenment is not for everybody. In the sense not that he cant achieve it. But, that it might bring even bigger problems that might backfire later on due to the world we live in right now. See, if you get enligthened in this time era, you are a pioneer of spirituality basically. You will have a harder time going on in the world and surviving. At least initially, which is the hardest part that sets up everything else. If 50% of the planet was awoken, getting enligthened would be alot easier and convenient to everyone despite their location and life situation. The later generations we have it easy as to not getting lost and alone in the world if they awaken. So yes, the collective plays a crucial role here.

Working in vain because of enviorments influences I cant change by now.

Yes and the site is laggy.

I thought it was going to last at least for a week...

This and the getting laid videos are going to be the most seen on actualized.org

Man, online dating is even harder than going solo. Is just so random. You cant rely on it. You gotta treat it like an extra candy someone just gave you.

@Leo Gura Even though thats true, you are getting to a point with your realizations that your advice wont work on ppl because only you will understand them. It will be you talking to you in youtube alone, as it always was. Back to the source. And then back to self development videos. Lmao.

So that she could persuade them to do hard work for them I guess. There has to be a balance of energies like everything in nature. A man cant be passive and masculine at the same time, same for women. Its actually nice when you think about it. Its a team work. I work hard during the day, then I bring you the survival value, I get pussy (procreation value from you), we are both happy and keep going with our survival.

Watch closely to Ralph face body language as he subtly reacts when being called on his own BS. Not to judge the guy as I actually like his vibe. But see how delusional one can get even in Truth/Spirituality.

Just rewatched this gem which I didnt got to appreaciate at that time as now. It would be cool to see more memes or even a parody series of some show or anime that interconnects all the latest material from actualized.org. It would definitely keep the audience hooked and motivated.

I rarely get nervous with women, except for the perfect personality matches with mine. Specially if they are pretty hot too. Such personality type is the free girl, open minded, sexual and Intense, party type happy girl. (Sagittarius zodiac). It has occured 3 times with three different women of this kind, where all i have to do is just be. Its like they want me to come to them without trying anything because its so perfect, but my mind simply goes really serious. I dont do anything, but my mind automatically gets serious and somewhat tryhard. And tries to impress, etc. The chemistry and attraction is so strong I sometimes have to pretend am not into them in order to not make social situations awkward cuz people can feel the strong chemistry through subtle subcomunications. This happened various times with a milf friend of an aunt that is 36 in a family situation. She is so free and doesnt hide anything, yet I felt strange being so open of our chemistry just through looks in such settings. The same happened with this type of girl that is the bestie of my sister. These girls dont hide the fact that they like me, but if I recíprocate the same way then it may look weird and ppl around us will start talking sht which I dont have energy to deal with. I have not escalated because of shyness since I dont want ppl around us to notice anything. This creates confused feelings in me when am around them and they also get kinda confused since they feel I get somewhat serious for no reason. But, how can i stop getting serious? I dont know what to do, Its completely automatic. What I fear is fckng up these perfect matches, since they are close people of relatives. Have you dealt with something similar?

@Nahm Makes sense. I noticed I had a belief triggered around them. The thing is, it is so unconscious and automatic is hard to even pick on my awareness. Its like i sometimes get to see them hidden with an invisible coat, so it feels like a its actually me. Its hard to make the distinction so fast.

It did not gave me the first %, which lowered my results, lol. I think it glitched in order to hide I might be a psycho

Does Sadhguru & Frank Yang look like pussies to you? I mean, they dont look macho, but they look aceptable to society. If your enviornment, like mine is judgemental on feminine energy, then compensate your character. Wear masculine clothes and colours, use larger clothes, grow a big beard, use masculine accesories/ symbols, get buff, get tattoos, get a masculine haircut, use masculine sunglasses, get masculine associations to you. Drop feminine self-images. Drop all self image if you can, until you can be conscious alone. If you see yourself as weak or feminine, others can perceive that self image of yours through intuition. Try to cut all feminine associations to you. Like some type of music or things you like. (dont leave any of these feminine stuff you might enjoy, just dont share it with average people). Have a thin, but loving masculine self image. By all these, you compensate your image to society into fitting in to their eyes. It will be the perfect mix of sweet energy and masculine look. Still, not all will like you and thats perfect. Too much meditation will make you uncapable and too passive for the world. Save meditation for private space alone. The thing with meditation is that people want to take advantage of you when they feel that innocent energy. Approach primarily through presence and concentration/contemplation. Here you can be still and active. And dont forget to hiss and fight if you need too even in the path. Then you can burn that karma again. But dont let things pile up before its too late.

Just to let you know, both are equally important. Structure: The strength of your mind's frame work (personality strength). Which also translates as confidence. Content: the type of your personality. Likes and dislikes. Your style, energy, nationality and anything else you can add into it. Basically concepts and meanings. What is crucial about content in socializing more than your own content, is being good at reading the social content for contextualizing the situation. I struggled with Structure (confidence in the past) and thought the extreme of only one being particularly important. Well, I actually did quite well without having that much confidence to be honest. Now that I have more pride, many girls dont like that, but at the same time they do on a sexual level. Having too much pride creates a frame of somewhat more war between you and the other. I would say in my experience that Structure is even more important in person and mid/long term. The reason confidence is necessary is not just because its attractive. Its attractive because it is useful. It makes you capable of doing many things for survival. Anyone trying to get good with people. I would say is better not to focus on the content first. Focus on your structure strength (confidence) by accumulation of experiences, habits and knowledge to build a solid ground in your mind. After finushing the path of building confidence, you dont have to think about it anymore, nor even try. The confidence is automatical and unconscious. After confidence is built, you can place your awareness on content inside social situations. Then after getting that solid Structure, you can focus on creating a strategy, changing your style, being positive, learning how to pickup, neg, shooting interesting openers, playing games, seduction, etc. Leave all that for later, you will waste time doing it all together. Content. Now about content. It is just as crucial as the Structure, specially at the pickup and beginning phase. Because it is what intrigues the girl for getting to know you. In person, Structure has more value. Vía facetime both have the same amount of value. But via text content has somewhat more value at first. So, the only way to get a girl out vía text is if practically if you have a great ig profile. Even thou you might waste alot of time. The way ig works is the following. First, having no expectation of if you will get the girl out. When doing a pickup, you cant even be thinking is pickup what you are doing. You just approach. Follow her, then see if she follows back. If she does, now you can text her in order to appear at the top of her dm. But before texting her, see if you really like her. If thats the case, like at least 4 pics from her in order for her to notice you in her notificacions and check your ig while knowing that you are interested in her. The reason for going for ig instead of dating sites is because you can comply actions without having to talk. Like following and liking her pics. After this, you can send one post you like from her vía dm and comment something you like or unique ("This is a vibe"). If she respond, you then answer vía voice note to create more attraction and comfort. All of this has to be done from a source of simply wanting to do it. You cant feel like she should do anything (expect to go out with her). Through this, you can continue uploading stories for her to like you more and you commenting on hers. The only thing that will create the possiblity of both of you going out is if you did all these without hurry/expectation and from an attractive/we frame. She has to feel in the way you talk that you feel attractive for her to also get attratcted unconsciously. You literally have to imagine/visualize a new frame, practice being into it and then snipe it out onto her. Only after sufficient attraction and comfort, she will proceed to go out. It will be obvious. Other wise you are just gambling into loosing. Social media gives you more control but takes alot longer. In person, everything is at ligthing speed but just as fast you can fail too. All of this is easier said than done and takes patience, non-compulsiveness/relaxation/self completeness/non expectation/inner space. Language can be tricky in dating too, specially when learning from others. There is stuff that only you will have to figure out.

Give it a try and just quit if you dont, lol. You might encounter an old millionaire who gives you extra money cuz he doesnt even know what to do with it anymore. Or an old millionaire lady (I had a friend that bought his first car thanks to a lady vía chat, to whom he gave videoservices as a side Hustle) . Your self esteem will go up, since people will worship you. Basically, it depends on how you see it. If you just do it for fun it can be a positive experience psychologically. Dont quit your job and test it out first. Dont forget being a live sexcam model too Now that you put the topic, I should consider trying this sometime too, lol.

@Javfly33 Approach people in stores always first to warm up and get you in the mood. There you build momentum and confidence to get in a state to approach strangers. You have to be careful with approaching. It can fck up your self esteem if you do it wrong and blindly. Whatever you feel, the other will feel. Is not normal to force yourself into approaching if its not common so it will feel weird at first. Thats why you have to build up slowly that perception in your psyche. Only at first you might need courage. Then approaching strangers should be something so normal you dont even think about it. Also, you get anxious because you are expecting something from the other. Which means you are lackung security (confidence) in some area of your thought process. Remember that if you approach her with confidence you dont even have to talk much. Your personality, aura, physique, style, tonality, body language, eye contact, timing, state, etc. Is being communicated. All of that is doing more work subconaciously than what you say. But to realize this, you might need to see it for yourself first. Specially if you dont have a strong sense of identity as your subconscious structure does the work automatically for you. See, when you approach a girl thinking stuff and calculating it, you are putting your awareness inside your head instead of just the outside to read the social situation and her. Your subconscious is the one that should do the calculations to help you, not you consciously planning. Learn how to work with your subconscious.

It seems these things are becoming more common. Ofcourse I have heard this happened on occassions, but it surprises me as before coming to the forum I saw a vid of a big black guy who grabbed a girl's ass who was walking down the street while using her phone. The girl got mad and started punching the guy and the 7 foot tall black guy (NBA type) started punching her and just kept walking. So, I would not recommend you to punch these guys. You dont know how they might react. Just because you are a girl doesnt mean they wont smack you out. They might have a gun or knife. They can use the excuse that they just went to ask you for something and you started hitting them first, so they defended themselves. What you should do is get really angry at them to get them off you first. Have a knife, pepper spray, taser or even a gun. But just after whatever their act and getting angry, tell them you are calling the cops. "That you have a cop friend". And you should really try to have one for emergencies. If after that he comes at you again, try to run and scream so people around can hear and make him go away. Only prepare to attack if he gets close to you and you are about to get trapped. What makes you mad is the fact that you felt impotent and surprised. Welcome to the world, where abuse is more normal than you think.