TJ Reeves

You might think you see the benefits to "some extent", but this post (especially the title) strongly indicates that you have absolutely no fucking idea how unaware you are of a) what enlightenment is b) the system we live in and c) what this work entails. Even beginning to set up a pro-con like this whatsoever is absurd and saddening. It's like you're drowning in a giant maelstrom of suffering, having someone throw you a rope to get you out and then asking "but what are the cons of using this rope?" Only someone who's life has gotten so used to drowning would ask something like this -- from the other side, it's a sick joke. A. What Enlightenment is There's a reason why once you taste enlightenment, there's no turning back -- it's so goddamn amazing that it can replace all of your addictions by 100,000x and literally make you say "goddamn, I could die right now" both in one's first enlightened experience and eventually through every moment of every day. In fact, your addictions -- all of them, including money, sex, sports, fame, social approval, TV, drugs, the internet, knowledge, alcohol, work, and morality to say the least -- are weak, uninformed attempts to reach an enlightened state. It is for this reason that meditation and enlightenment practices are recommended to end addictions of all sorts . There are two views of enlightenment, the first is the meditative form. The second refers to understanding the Truth. They are two sides of the same coin, ultimately. Lets address the first view of enlightenment as a meditative state by looking at the different levels of awareness poured onto experience: step 1. Dharana - "holding" - means taking an object and concentrating on the object such that you hold it in your focus - here we take notice of the object's features and details - think of wine tasting or paying attention to music well enough that you notice new notes in the song - at this stage, we count "reps" by recognizing we've broken focus and going back to the object of our choosing step 2. Dhyana - here attention steadily pours out, gently resting on the objects of our choosing. It's like pouring a thick stream of oil upon on object, without any gaps or breaks in the stream - smooth, continuous focus. Later we begin to apply that focus to other things or activities. For example, while eating, you note every flavor and texture in the food - then when a friend says some thing to you at the table, you give all of your attention to their words - when they're done, you go back to the food. In between, there are little to no unrelated mental images getting in the way. step 3. Samadhi - becoming the object - all attention flows onto the object of your choosing, with none placed on unrelated mental talk or images. initially this happens for seconds, but eventually it can be maintained for minutes, hours, and even days. There are two kinds of samadhi: 3 a - Samadhi with a seed - all sense of self disappears and only the object of concentration remains, shining in consciousness. the remaining object serves as the "seed." This begins to resemble the flow state discussed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, wherein people are up to 4x more efficient in their thinking and work 3 b - Samadhi without a seed - awareness flows so completely onto the object of concentration that there is no time to fixate that object as something rigid, opaque, and extended in time and space. The object ceases to be a "something" because observer and observed both disappear (we will discuss this later!). This is a full on flow state. From Shinzen Young's Science of Enlightenment: "If a person enters samadhi without a seed while performing some art, they are, strictly speaking, no longer performing. The universe itself is manifesting through their art. If they're able to replicate that state in daily life, then their sport or art can be legitimately described as a path to enlightenment." This is Steph Curry when he's hot as fuck except applied to everyday life, including cooking, making love, and generating business decisions. "We progress from simply focus exercises (dharana), to states of continuous concentration (dhyana), and finally to oneness with the unborn source (seedless samadhi). If you can consciously taste moments of seedless samadhi in daily life, we'll say you attained the initial stage of enlightenment." You asking "what are the cons" is like what are the cons of Stephen Curry getting hot for the entirety of his career. Understand that when one is in such a complete state of sensory experience, it is impossible to not be happy. "Any ordinary sensory event, when experienced completely, becomes extraordinary and paradoxical: its richness is maximal but its somethingness is minimal. A complete experience of pleasure delivers pure satisfaction but has little substance (you don't need anything). A complete experience of pain is deeply poignant but not problematic. A complete experience of desire is desire-less. A complete experience of mental confusion nurtures intuitive wisdom. A complete experience of self convinces you there never was a self." ---- This is a good segway into enlightenment as an intuitive form of grasping existential truth of who you truly are and what you're here to do -- Have you ever really not at least wondered wtf is going on with this whole consciousness thing? Haven't you ever questioned god, the universe, and everything? I mean, how could you not? It's part of the human condition to do so. And the answers we arrive at determine our mental conditions. The truth of enlightenment that I'm talking about isn't something that's put into language, but instead something that's sensed. Without this sense, we inevitably suffer because there is no narrative or greater meaning to our lives. The depressed person sees no meaning in life largely because the small box of their linguistic thinking limits their view of what life is. The anxious person fears self-destruction largely because their linguistic understanding of identity is confining. Most people are easily perturbed in this way. I'd describe this as totally fuckwithable. Finding this sense and becoming "one" with it restores meaning to our lives as we proceed from day-to-day. Inherent to the connection to the truth is that you let the truth/god work through you. You recognize yourself as and give into being a vessel for the universe to play itself out, whatever way it deems necessary. From there you can tackle problems you never thought you could tackle before. People think that because of enlightenment, one would stop solving the problems of life because they realize "there are no problems." This is a huge misunderstanding. It's more like the problems become no big deal because you see the game for what it is. There's still stuff to-do, but you don't get all in an anxious huff about it. When you become enlightened, all of the bullshit you have to go through in life becomes totally and absolutely worth it. Life goes from this never-ending, set of shitty disconnected problems that seem not worth solving to a never-ending, set of awesome forever-connected problems worth solving. This is how you create revolutions, spark changes, and make a huge impact on the world. So overall then, what is enlightenment a - to experience a continuous deep flow state during every moment of the game of life b - to connect to a deeper sense of truth, giving you the total unfuckwithable-ness necessary to do huge things in the world while enjoying it. B. The System we live in The ecological system we live in requires the above two characteristics for a functioning human being. Anything else is a suffering human. And a suffering human = a dysfunctional human = a human with unconscious, self-defeating, world-defeating actions. See, it used to be that humans got things done in a direct manner with the concentration, equanimity, and greater connection characteristic of enlightenment. In this way, humans did not have to acquire more stuff than they needed. Humans lived in a great balance with nature and did not cause too much damage. Indigenous people do not have a word for enlightenment. To them, every day life = enlightenment. To them, every day is lived in balance, hence them not facing obesity or killing the environment like we do. There are so many psychedelic plants because it was to the benefit of the plants/earth/god itself to talk to humans and say "hey, you stupid-super-chimps - there's more going on here than just you, so don't over-do it with your intellectual capabilities." In any balanced system, if one side of the competition eliminates the other side, then the 'winner' is allowed to overrun and create a form of systemic cancer that kills the whole system. We think of previous peoples as stupid cavemen who sat around grunting and living weak lives. We couldn't be further from the truth. They were far more in balance with themselves and nature and art. We are the idiots. Not them. We disrupted the harmony. Not them. We have gotten away from the connection to greater consciousness, begun to acquire more and more shit, and as such have disrupted the earthly balance, hence the problems we face. Not them. If Trump, global warming, economic collapses, and rising depression rates haven't been enough of a clue, then here it is: the world will fucking die if you don't become enlightened. You. Yes. You reading this. The world will die if you don't become enlightened. Consider the enlightenment as flow state + connection definition I gave earlier. How the fuck do you think we will solve the problems we face if you aren't constantly flowing and connected? It will take the level of concentration and connection characteristic of enlightenment to solve the types of monumental issues we face. We have to be Steph Curry in a flow state from now to the end of the human game. And it has to come from our hearts, not from our pockets. The economic system we have does not properly incentivize people to be their best. It awards selfishness, competition, and greed when what we need is selflessness, creativity, and pure giving. We have people sitting around questioning whether they should even practice basketball because they' want to know what the cons might be of getting into a flow state and whether they will get paid for practicing. We're fucking toast. C. What this work entails Remember earlier when I mentioned that its like you're drowning in a maelstrom? A more appropriate metaphor is that your ego is the maelstrom, a swirling hole in the sea. Consciousness itself is the sea - making up the fabric of all of reality. You are not actually separate from the sea: you are the sea. But you act and think like one swirling whirlpool of egoic self-reflection, losing sight of your larger reality. Once you recognize this, you can go from being a giant, swirling hole of ego, to a much calmer placid part of the ocean. And as I just mentioned, right now, the world needs a calmer ocean. So we see that Consciousness work is about: a) developing the concentration to b) recognize your true identity as the sea of consciousness itself instead of a whirlpool of chatter, so that c) you/god/world that is you come back to balance. You won't understand how good it is to be a calmer part of the sea until you fucking settle down. But once you do, you will see that there basically no cons whatsoever to settling down your little maelstrom of ego. The turning the cheek quote is about taking the time to understand why it is that you got slapped. If you understand everything that went into the slap -- the environment, the person's upbringing, your personal responsibility in pissing them off, their mental issues that cause them to commit violence, and the nature of the universe itself -- then there is no way you can be pissed off enough to slap someone back. Anger is not possible with understanding. And the enlightened person will probably have the mental clarity to take the time to have further understanding before choosing to slap back. That doesn't mean you'll turn into a giant pussy, either. You'll take a smarter action to prevent further slapping, or one that you know raises the overall awareness of society as a whole, unfazed by slaps.

Perhaps you are tuning into new areas of consciousness you've never noticed before. For example: when you've heard a song 100s of times but you get a new hi-fi radio and can now be aware of new beats in the background of the song -- It's not necessarily that you're hallucinating new aspects to the song, but seeing things you never knew to look for. Give it time to get used to these new hi-fi sensations you have. Do more research and you will see people like Dr. Martin W. Ball and many others have had such experiences and not been "schizophrenic" or "crazy" but accessing new mental areas. Hallucinations in general have two perspectives. 1. The materialist (aka our current society's) perspective is that you're experiencing something unreal. According to this perspective, if everyone can't see it, then it must not be real. Additionally, this perspective argues that since what you're seeing is "unreal", something must be wrong with you. And because the materialist perspective argues that the brain creates consciousness, they deem that something is wrong with your brain. Which is admittedly scary ... if you are someone who is attached to society... ... which we all are to some degree. But it doesn't have to be that way. 2. The idealist perspective (aka as put forth Bernardo Kastrup and Actualized.org) is that: since you are having a subjective experience, and subjective experience is the only objectively real experience, then you are experiencing something objectively real. Additionally, this perspective implies "hallucinations" are simply things that are not noticed/agreed upon by other observers, which might speak more about them than it does about you. It is easier for society as a whole to dismiss the unusual perspective by calling it "crazy" and moving on with the day. This way, the crowd is kept focused on the majority/intellectual elite. Building from the hi-fi radio analogy, perhaps you are tuning into aspects of consciousness that others simply do not have the awareness to tune into. Frankly, the healthier perspective is the idealist perspective, although society doesn't necessarily agree with it. Not only does the idealist perspective solve many problems regarding the mind-brain problem, it will also help when coming face to face with brand new mystic experiences that have a wtf factor to them. The simple fact of the matter is that if you get far enough ahead in consciousness work, you will tune into something different than the rest of society -- that's kind of the entire point. Additionally, your specific new "hallucinative" perspective may be necessary for seeing new patterns in the world. There is a reason why even early in his career, Leo made a whole video called "Success & Creativity - Why You Should Be More Schizophrenic". Overall, one thing to not get too concerned about is whether something is "wrong" with you. Schizophrenia, which is what you'd be concerned with if you were concerned about hallucinations, is particularly fraught with contentious ideas and dubious assumptions. You might be "different" with the "hallucinations", but nothing is "wrong" unless you find that it is wrong. Mental Illness only occurs when something mental is actively preventing you from achieving the life you want (or society wants for you.) Which is funny because according this definition, basically everyone is mentally ill no matter what -- it's damned if you do damned if you don't. But If it is indeed that these visions genuinely impede you and others notice symptoms such as stuttered, nonsensical talk, then sure, talk to a medical professional. Be warned however, because the diagnosis for schizophrenia is fraught with issues. In one study, for example, "an offended hospital administration challenged [a researcher named Rosehan] to send pseudopatients to its facility, whom its staff would then detect. Rosenhan agreed and in the following weeks out of 193 new patients the staff identified 41 as potential pseudopatients, with 19 of these receiving suspicion from at least one psychiatrist and one other staff member. In fact, Rosenhan had sent no pseudopatients to the hospital." So if it doesn't impede you, then don't get stuck on the "am I crazy" thought loop too much and continue with your work

Stop messaging me about where I have found shit. I originally wrote this to two people who recently messaged me about how to find 5-MEO-DMT. But I think it would be better to leave a public version out here to warn others. Here are the three reasons why the practice of messaging people on the forum about how to obtain 5-MEO and other substances needs to end immediately. 1) Why do you think I know anything? Who the fuck am I to tell you? This is a forum. Forums are known for having liars and cheats. Don't take anything I say seriously. Perhaps I'm making everything up. 2) You create a conspiracy Have you heard of being accused of conspiracy? It's serious shit. Conspiracy is probably a more difficult charge to deal with than even a murder charge because it doesn't need very much evidence at all yet you can go to jail for just as long. Bobby Shmurda, the rapper who made the mega-hit "Hot N*gga" was sent to jail for conspiracy based off of song lyrics. Every time you fools ask me about where I have found stuff, you run the risk of conspiracy. The best part is, as one person messaged me, some of you on the forum PM me instead of asking me publicly because you're scared of going to jail -- as if PMing me is any different. An example from the info page on criminal-law: "If a person agrees to help another person sell drugs and then gives that person information about or directions to where to sell or purchase certain controlled substances, then the conspiracy was complete once the first person gave directions—which constituted an act to further the agreement. The action taken does not have to be a criminal act in and of itself." If you don't understand this, then you are not ready. but let's go further into what it means to be ready. 3) You fuck yourself over by making things easy Do you understand that enlightenment is hardcore shit? Seriously, you cannot get to the fun part before you go through the hard part. It's all a necessary part of the journey. And by "go through the hard part," I'm talking about essentially facing your toughest inner flaws and frustrations and nearly wanting to kill yourself because it's so difficult. One guy messaged me that his "gut tells him he's ready"... except he can't figure out how to find psychedelics like 5-MEO without messaging me, hence him asking me. Um, No. An integral part of the journey is figuring how to do it on your own. It used to be that people tied themselves to trees and danced until they dehydrated themselves nearly to death to achieve enlightenment insights. You pussies just have learn how to do a few google searches and visit a few seminars to figure things out before taking something painless and harmless. And yet you still complain. The process of finding psychedelics and doing research is itself a filter for those who actually care enough to do this work. Those who are too asleep to be psychologically capable of handling the insanity of enlightenment insights are the ones who are filtered out. This is a good thing because it prevents psychosis. Only the people crazy enough to find this shit on their own are the ones crazy enough to handle it. Look, If you're still wavering on doing psychedelics and have to ask people like @Leo Gura for permission on whatever it is that you have to do, then you are not ready. If you don't know what the difference is between an Erhlich test and a Marquis test is and how to use them, then you are not ready. If you are worried about the FBI, as one person messaged me, then you are not ready. And if, as if by magic, there seems to be some type of "wall" blocking you from finding 5-MEO, LSD, Shrooms, or anything else, as a couple of users have messaged me, then guess what? You are not ready. There is truth to the saying that these things find you instead of you finding them. The same goes for finding a mentor, or a place for neurofeedback training, or learning how to get a date; the problem starts with your psychology, not the external forces acting upon you -- it's actually incredibly easy to find these things once you get over your own psychological impediments toward doing so. Overall, Don't drag me into your mess. I'm dealing with my own.

It gets tiring sometimes. I understand. But it gets better. No matter what you think in the low, it does get better. Don't be a selfish asshat. That "easy" fix totally fucks over everyone you know. You might think that your existence is a drag to them, but you don't consider how much worse it makes things for everyone around you. Even people who you may not think care, actually do care and will be negatively affected by your taking the "easy" way out. Your perspective is unbelievably limited right now Your ego is clouding what you think of as reality and your number of options. I know because I was once like this and I eventually gained enough perspective to see myself out of it. I wish my previous version would understand that. Listen, you absolutely positively always have other choices. You are always able to respond to whatever comes to you in life. That's what it means to take responsibility. Even if someone mugged you and held a gun to your head and said "you have no choice other than to sit there while I shoot you" you still have a responsibility and a choice for what to do next. Take fucking 100% responsibility for your life and improve it. No one is holding you down other than an imagined version of yourself. Williams James had a life story far more pathetic than yours -- whatever yours is -- and as a result, he got himself severely depressed. When he was about to kill himself, he decided to take 100% responsibility for everything in his life for the next year, and if that didn't work, then he would kill himself. What happened with his experiment? He became the best psychologist of the past 200 years. Don't we all. You imagine there is peace waiting for you there in death, but you act like there is no possibility for peace here now. The peace? It's there for you right now, but it's not what you think of it. Look, man. Look! If you're so desperate for killing yourself why don't you become desperate for something like finding help? Put the depressive energy to good use. It doesn't necessarily take 10 years to feel better. Nor one year. Nor, technically, even 3 months. I've been in a position similar to yours plenty of times and plenty of times it's only taken one or two key moments to feel better. (Note: and if you're reading that and thinking "oh well if you snapped out, it must have not been that bad for you so you don't understand" - then fuck you - it's pretty bad when you have an entire bottle full of oxycontin held to your mouth and notes to loved ones written out. According to some multiverse theories, there's probably another universe where I'm dead. And more important, let's not get into a "who's more depressive" pissing contest where everyone loses.) A permanent solution like suicide is well, permanent and you don't even know whether it will work to solve your problems. 99% of suicide jumpers who have survived high falls say they regretted it. As one writes: “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.” Also, I want you to know that in the future, this worst moment of life will be your best moment. I'm not kidding - if you make it through this it will be one of the life-defining moments for you. When you are an old man, you will look back and smile at this time. I'm not going to bullshit you and say it will all be rainbows and field of flowers - you will have to go through more stuff - but still this is an amazing chance for you to pull yourself to the next level. Overall: You have three options here -- you can kill yourself physically, you can sit there miserably doing nothing, or you can kill your "self" by taking responsibility and getting psychological help. The last option is the best one by far. How about you decide to do absolutely positively everything in your power to reach enlightenment and then, if you are enlightened and you still hate life, then you can kill yourself with whatever means you'd like? That way you know for sure that you gave it your all and you can die with a smile and no regret.

Im sure you meant it as a joke, but no It's not impossible to include one's pets, as long as you extend the definition of the word pet. Consider the dog whisperer or magicians with animals.

One of the Shulgins discussed injection in Tihkal They wrote: (with 1.3 mg, i.v.) "In a few seconds I was participating in exquisite, full body, teeth-chattering shivers that lasted in all about 10 minutes, nearly the duration of the effects. The sensations seemed to come more from my head region, whereas my 'full blown' experiences of smoked 5-MeO-DMT seemed to emanate from my center and heart." (with 2.3 mg, i.v.) "I remember having a perspective of knowing I was aware and, if not from the start of the experience then very soon into it, knowing I knew I was aware. I thought I was an ocean. I don't remember where I first lost continuity of consciousness (this is a little like a black-out from hard liquor) but I remember being aware of the sounds I was making apparently some time after I began vocalizing. Around the time I thought to change these sounds as I pleased, I also noted with brief wonder that the sound was continuous, not changed by my breathing. I sang my way back." (with 3.1 mg, i.v.) "I vocalized effortlessly. I was getting in touch with my body. I said, 'Turn off the lights,' and 'I love you,' and then I lost it. I was amazed later to find a roomful of people who had been frightened by the noises they had been amazed to hear, and I was amazed to be told I had made."

I found an awesome article about Elon Musk's new company Neuralink, which plans to link human consciousness to computer consciousness. It's comprehensive yet easy to read. http://waitbutwhy.com/2017/04/neuralink.html#part1 Fun fact: I plan to submit an application to work there this week!

hopefully less drip. Jk I'll definitely look into this.

Hey guys, I recorded my brain waves during a 33mg 5-MEO trip using a cheap EEG device called Muse. I think this is the first place someone has ever posted a normal EEG recording of 5-MEO DMT. The closest thing that I could find is from this paper, where they found that 5-MEO causes firing in all parts of the brain at once using QEEG, which is slightly different. Materials and Procedure: - I've used the Muse headband for a few months now to perform over 100 meditations. I got the idea to use it based off of the finder's course Leo recommended. - Before using Muse, I had been meditating everyday for close to a year - To trip, I laid down on my mattress, which I moved into my walk-in closet. - Inside the closet everything is pitch black and no sounds can be heard. - I also did not have trip sitter to look over me. Trip-sitters are impediments to ego death experiences: you need to be able to go into the insanity of pure awareness without the worry of someone else watching you. Data: A normal, non-meditative state: One of my better mindful-breathing meditations. Noticed how calm my brain signals are here: A sober, do-nothing meditation in preparation for 5-MEO. I was a little nervous for what was going to come: 33mg of 5-MEO-DMT-HCL. Note: the session ended early because I threw off the device due to it distracting me as I broke through. Data Observations: - My supposedly "good" meditation practice with Muse looks nothing like the 5-MEO trip. - The 5-MEO reading looks almost exactly like the stage 3 and 4 waves found in deep sleep - The calm state of Mind is all-over the place. Subjective Observations: - I entered the realm of the void where I lost touch with the boundary between "real" vs "not real", me vs world, this vs. that - I've entered this realm before with strong psilocybin and LSD doses as well - Ego Death = Psychological Death = Cutting Loose from 'sanity' = Surrendering to Unconditional Love - Frankly, 5-MEO was not nearly as scary as shrooms trips have been. - Upon ego death, everything that's ever happened to you makes perfect sense. It might be hard to feel a connection to unconditional love while you're going through tough times, but it's all a set up for the greatest love you've ever felt. Imagine the feeling you would get from a surprise party wherein you got upset thinking no one cared about you until surprise everyone cares! - I think we could describe this work as the most powerful form of exposure-based CBT for the phobia of death. Conclusion: I undoubtedly became infinity from my own subjective perspective, but the EEG's reading shows that my brain entered a state of deep sleep. One hypothesis I'd always had regarding death is that it would be just like going where you go between when you fall asleep and when you dream, but actually realizing you are there. This is evidence that this is could be a somewhat accurate description. When one goes to sleep, one is awake during stage 1 of sleep. Then the body gets paralyzed but one is still somewhat awake during stage 2. Most people skip over stages 3 and 4 and simply 'wake up' into the dream world of REM sleep, which has the same signals as what we refer to as 'normal' waking existence. I find it fascinating that I was consciously present during what looks exactly like stage 3 or 4 sleep. Guys, this is genuinely no small matter -- if brain waves correlate to conscious existence, then why am I conscious during the time that should be reserved for unconsciousness? EEGs have been around for a while and it is part of the consensus that this should not happen! I also think that this is a strike against the common dogma of materialism. Indeed, the whole paradigm of the having a body and having a brain is becoming more and more of a joke to me as I enter different trips. What I seen so far has made it obvious that I'm everything and everyone... Anything that takes one away from this fact is a delusion... Suffering, loneliness, addiction, compulsion, fear, and anger are all symptoms of a loss of touch with the reality that we are each the indescribable source of all creation. I plan to try another recording soon after I spend some time integrating the wisdom from the trip. I'm a little annoyed I had to end the session early, but I have no reason to believe the pattern would have not kept repeating. Until then, in the words of Miyamoto Musashi, do not take my word for anything, investigate this thoroughly.

@Paintballer well, yeah, actually, it is a shocker. It was at least possible that as one recognizes nothingness they would enter an ultra-calm state similar to what's experienced during meditation. I had originally expected a graph similar to the deep calm state meditation except where it's even lower to the point of looking like I flatlined. One cannot take anything for granted.

Here are some of the written notes I jotted down from the Book The Leap: The Psychology of Spiritual Awakening In the book, the author gathers notes from interviews with awakened/enlightened people around the world in order to answer the question what does it mean to be enlightened or spiritually awakened? Over the past year or so, I have noticed the characteristics of permanent wakefulness in my cognition for days at a time and then dropping off for another few days before coming back at a higher intensity. I used to think I was bipolar, but I'm glad to at least realize it was a cycle of wakefulness and sleep. But now, after taking 5-MEO, I have had a period of about 2 weeks where my wakefulness has been consistent. I can't unsee the connection to the world and I enjoy simply being -- I hang out in the park behind my apartment slacklining or just kind of sitting there. But I don't know how to come back to regular life at all. All of society looks so ass backwards and I have no clue how to integrate myself once again. I say that both worried and not worried at all. (My ego is worried that I don't worry but I don't feel connected to my ego's worry?) Language seems fucked up. It's the weirdest goddamn thing -- but its exactly what I signed up for. I took the life purpose course and I'm so glad I did because I found an awesome career path in terms of my values and vision. But now I feel like I have to go back to square one because I find that career path does not line up with being cognition very well. This is not a problem -- if anything its really good to recognize now as a 23 year old. But damn it's frustrating, and its hilarious and exciting. @Leo GuraI have never experienced so many contrasting emotions in my life -- my question is how do I handle all of these new mixtures of emotions that I've never felt? There are like 5 mixed emotions that I feel that go with any one concept I try to express and I feel like I'm either all over the place while talking or totally lying. And while I have all those new, intense, contrasting emotions, I feel this connection to a rock-hard, undisturbable part of me that cannot get upset about anything or do anything other than exist happily. Thus I feel both intense emotion and intense detachment from the emotion - which I have absolutely no clue how to express. Perhaps it's like Gay Hendrick's "Upper limit problem" on steroids... I feel like the only valid form of communication is total silence.

You'd have to see for yourself. Personally, I found that the NoFap reports are over-exaggerated: I simply became hornier and as a result ended up fucking my girlfriends more - which is cool, but it's wasn't some sort of a magic pill the way i've seen it described. Know your personal values and then see if masturbation interfere with them. My top ten personal values are Truth, Growth, Courage, 100% Responsibility, Unconditional Love/Happiness, Non-judgment, Non-Attachment, Purpose, Benevolence, and Mastery. Does masturbation get in the way of those? That's up to debate within oneself. There are 233,048 Fapstronauts according to the webpage. With any number that large, I'm sure can find some awakened person in the crowd. Also, if you think that Ralph Smart/Infinite Waters became awakened because he did a NoFap challenge, you're kidding yourself (CAN I GET A HELLOOOOO). Beyond that, since you mentioned him, I did some research and it took 3 seconds for me to find one of Smart's own videos where he specifically says that masturbation is not bad. But on the whole, many of the posts on from the NoFappers are low consciousness freakouts about how people started NoFap and then stopped. My Final point: Pick your battles wisely. No one will give a flying fuck about the fact that you went 60 days without masturbating. You won't make money nor will you help the world nor will you raise your consciousness all that much solely by NoFapping.

No. Nothing is. It's up to you. As long as you do not find that it interferes with the rest of your life You're not addicted to anything until you find that a) it interferes with your personal goals and b) you cannot stop . 2-3 times a week is a totally normal number for a 17 year old male -- your hormones are raging at this age. I knew kids who did it like 2 or 3 times per day at that age. I tell you that for context so you don't feel bad about yourself. I'm someone who masturbates without porn. I used to be have a habit of watching porn, but I found out that porn was highly correlated with depression, so I stopped. It's been a few years since I last watched porn and I feel much better. I've personally confirmed in my own life that the chances of depression hitting me are much lower when I don't watch porn. NoFap is largely populated by people experiencing a ridiculous overreaction to porn. Many of the people on there have simply substituted their addiction to porn for an addiction to posting on NoFap. It's a joke. Masturbation is not bad as long as it does not take over your life. A big key is to draw out autoerotic sex the way you would draw out regular sex with a partner. By that I mean involve some foreplay and don't just jackhammer away at yourself. Specifically, take a watch, set a 10 minute timer, and don't allow yourself to cum until the timer hits. Don't have any images available other than your imagination. Focus on what it feels like to touch yourself - make it a form of body-mind meditation. Make a whole date out of it -- do an activity that you like as if you are going on a date, then come home with excitement to masturbate. If I have a creative project I'd like to get done or if I haven't gotten laid in a while, I might hold off on masturbation just so that I have a bit of extra energy. For example, I might only masturbate on Saturday nights where I don't have a partner. But overall, getting mad at myself for masturbating is a sign of neuroticism just as much as not controlling my ability to masturbate is. You're a chimp. Chimps like sexual stimulation. Accept it. Accept yourself. The NoFap guys are no enlightened beings - their posts are pretty obvious indicators of this fact - so take their advice with a major grain of salt.

Degrees are specifically demarkations of how groups of people fit into a set path. Self-actualization specifically involves blazing a new trail. Do you see how these two things do not fit? Actualized.org degrees might be one of the most delusional, dangerous ideas proposed... They entirely miss the point of all of Leo's work when it comes to getting us to become self-sufficient learners. The fruits of this work come from going out into unexplored jungles within your psyche and the physical world of careers/relationships. When you go into the heart of unexplored jungle there are no giant neon signs to tell you where you are going. If you did see such neon signs, then it would ruin the point of calling the jungle unexplored. You have to figure out how to tell where you are within the unexplored jungle on your own through direct experience and trial-and-error. Similarly, you have to be your own judge of where you are in life. No degree can do that for you. Especially for 'regular' career paths, if you are reliant on degrees as a measure of progress you need to get a baby-blanket and a therapist because you are stuck on infantile metrics for growth. Elon Musk, Marcus Aurelius, and Martin Luther King did not become who they became by chasing degrees.

Get in better shape, meditate, and look into other forms of exercise as amazing ways to help. But you'll make the some of the biggest gains by focusing on the shadow side of your sexuality with a pen and paper. Your anxiety more than likely comes from deeply held shame and a recurring narrative regarding sexuality. Look into what narrative is being played out, such as "I have to perform like a fucking sex-god or else she won't like me" or "I don't look good enough naked" or "sex is bad" or "this is rape-y". Also, have you considered flipping the narrative of "I'm anxious" to "I'm excited?" I mean, examine the physical symptoms of seeing a significant other naked - the beating heart, the adrenaline, etc, and instead of saying "Oh no, I'm nervous, I gotta calm down!" say "goddamn this is exciting!". Studies show that the difference in interpretation of nerves is one of the biggest differences between people who excel at giving speeches and suck at giving speeches -- it also works for sex. Regarding more practical matters, if I really, really can't get it up for whatever reason but I do want to have sex and I need to buy some time, I just eat my girls out until they cum a few more times. By the time they've cum 3 or 4 times, I'm rock hard and they're dying for me to fuck their brains out... No girl is going to get mad at you for going down on her longer.

From a spiritual POV: instructions for action come down from an infinite version of You (the entire universe) to play out through the seemingly limited form of you (what you conventionally grew up to think of as you but is instead a story). We could compare it to how Nathan Drake fires a gun when I hit the square button on my PS4 controller. Pure awareness (the eternal soul that you actually are) technically does not take any actions -- it's only there to be aware of what's going on from the first person POV. From The Bhagavad Gita for Modern Times: "People must realize that even while acting (involving the movement of body, mind, senses), the soul remains still - eternal. The sages recognize wisdom in a person who realizes this - for such wise people have had the fire of wisdom burn away the illusion that the Soul (the true person) is acting." From a materialistic/scientific POV: You form all actions and thoughts subconsciously before even realizing it. You are only aware of a story that justifies the action. The prefrontal cortex, superior colliculi, and reticular activation systems, which control your conscious awareness, respond automatically to the signals that fire together the most compared to other signals present. We could compare this to a teacher (PFCortex) who only gives attention to the kid who raises their hand highest in class (other signals in brain). The algorithm for why some signals fire more than others is tucked away in an unbelievably fast, subconscious part of the brain - inaccessible to slow moving conscious thought.

The discussion found in the topic "how to tell if a person is enlightened" got me to write a post that was too big for that thread. @Alii @unknownworld and all of the people who are so quick to talk about how enlightened people would not do "bad"/"immoral" things clearly don't remember what it is like to play Fallout, Skyrim, or GTA V... Cause when you play inside of those worlds, you basically act and think the way you would if you were enlightened. The trick -- what Leo refers to as total insanity -- is to take the mindset you have playing those games and apply it to 'real' life. This gets you closer to the detachment, unconditional love, and Truth that we talk about when we talk about when we talk about enlightenment. I use video games as an analogy because they are the closest I can come to when speaking of the unspeakable things I have seen and had personal insights over during my own psychedelic journeys with strong doses of LSD, psilocybin, NN-DMT, and 5-Meo-DMT-HCL . In video games, it's very easy to just Be - to enter deep flow States wherein one has no problem exploring amorrally, going on adventures without a fear of death, and unconditionally loving everything that happens. Psychedelics help one see life as a video game and thus help one reach enlightenment. 1) Detachment -- from morality When you play Skyrim, it's taken as a given that it is all entirely up to you how you play the game. Skyrim has plenty of plot lines but there's no "point" to the game other than to experience it. It's an open world with no real rules other than the game's physics and the A.I.'s reactions. You can shoot people, save towns, hunt treasure or mine rocks – all of those are perfectly good ways to play. Anyone who plays the game understands this. For this reason, if I told you that there was only one way to play skyrim, you'd look at me like I was an idiot. All Moral systems make it as if there is only one or even a finite set of ways to play the game of Life. But the truth is that there are an infinite number of ways to experience one's life and an infinite number of factors that must be taken into account for any decision. The ideas of "good" and "bad" are attempts to conjure limited answers to equations with unlimited, changing sets of variables. It's impossible to know the outcomes of one's behaviors with 100% certainty, even if you did want to do "good." Research also shows that you basically can't make decisions without some bit of the 'irrationality' of emotion to prompt you. For example, a man with a totally damaged limbic (emotional) system but intact prefrontal cortex (intellect) can’t order dinner at a restaurant without hesitating for hours until someone else makes the decision for them. Similarly, he has great trouble taking 'moral' actions to serve his family even though his reasoning centers are intact -- he won't know what behaviors are appropriate. Most of one's actions are ultimately baseless. At best, they arise from subjective emotions and projections woven together as stories to create a more positive experience for one’s own life. Its better to admit that than to fall prey to yet another wrong story woven together about what "right" or "wrong" is. Leo has spent like 10 videos railing against morality and lecturing on epistemology to save people from their inevitable wrongness about what they think is right; to open the number of options you consider whenever you take actions. You unnecessarily limit yourself and others in the best open world RPG possible when you make up moral rules. It’s not wrong, per se, but its absurd the same way telling others that there’s only one way to play Skryim is absurd. --- Next, If I told you that "if you knew skyrim was a just a game you would only play as a good guy," you would again look at me like I’m an idiot. Yet this what is being said when one proposes that enlightened people are inherently perfectly moral. For one, I'm not sure you can get through a game like Skyrim or Life without killing anyone. Your character would not level up and you'd never be able to defend yourself from enemies. You wouldn't get fed and you wouldn't take action. Also, everyone knows that even otherwise 'upstanding' people do fucked up shit in Skyrim specifically because they know it’s a game. For example, sometimes I decide to make my character in Skyrim kill and raid whole towns. Other times, I'll save all of the people in those same towns. Then after I save them, maybe I'll put bucket's over their heads and steal coins from them. The only difference from one behavior to the next is my sense of humor at a given moment, not some moral rules from the skyrim universe. The Moral systems of 'real life' people are like the moral systems of Skyrim’s A.I -- built in mechanisms that 'exist' to the A.I., but are a complete joke to the ultimate player who exists both inside (as my character) and outside (as the person holding the controller) of Skyrim's universe. The game's morality has no effect on me since I don't take the game's moral system seriously. Again, the only reason I decide to do any thing in the game is essentially shits and giggles. The same seems to be true for god. The argument that "enlightened person = morally good person" is like saying that "people who know skyrim is just a game = people who play as good guys"... It totally misses the point of playing a video game like Skyrim wherein one is given unlimited options in a holographic space to do whatever they want... The enlightened person viscerally recognizes that this is all a solipsistic game – since they are god, no one else besides them exists. They accept that all others are not real with the same ease you have recognizing that skyrim's A.I. characters are not real. At the same time, enlightened people also see that they are each of the game's characters going through their own version of a playthrough and that it is ultimately themselves who will benefit from help. To an enlightened person, dancing in a nightclub with 5,000 people and dancing alone in the shower are both instances of dancing alone. They are also both instances of dancing with everyone. The enlightened person would dance the exact same way regardless. Understanding this paradox opens enlightened people to infinitely ‘good’ or infinitely ‘bad’ decisions from the perspective of people who subscribe to the moral matrix. Again, you can save the town or kill the town or mine some rocks, it's all good when you're the only one who exists -- screw everyone else until proven otherwise. 2) Detachment -- from death When you play video games like Skyrim, you don't care much about failure because fuck it, you can't die, you can only reset. That is, you have the confidence to persist through basically any challenge games throw at you. There have been times where I've died 20 or 30 times before getting through a boss in Skyrim. All without a single complaint. ^^ okay maybe this can be taken too far. But in 'real' life? this level of confidence is rarely found. The limited, 'real-life' version of your self couldn't even stand coming close to death. Even the thought of the possibility of your death sends you reeling. Imagine if you had the confidence you have in video games. Imagine if you stopped giving fucks for every time you fail or face the possibility of failing. Imagine that when you wanted to do something, you simply did it. Sure you might take time to think of a new strategy, but once you got that strategy, you pushed forward, no questions asked. That is what we talk about when we talk about enlightenment. And That only comes when you recognize the truth, first hand, over and over again: FUCK IT YOU CAN'T DIE, YOU CAN ONLY RESET. The fear of Death holds you back. And your fear of death depends on how much you think you can die. And how much you think you can die depends on how much experience you've had dying. Recognize the truth. Go where the dragons live: inside the caves of your own psyche. Go alone with no one there to help. Go equipped with nothing but a curious mind that pushes further into the darkness. (*** Explore lucid dreams or Take +5 g of shrooms or 25-30 mg 5-meo-DMT-HCL alone in a pitch black room several times like I have***). When you see the truth and experience IT/god/death over and over again, you detach more and more from the illusion that you can die. Over time, one simply gets to the point where you are at the "fuck it I can’t die" level. (Watch Edge of Tomorrow or GroundHog Day for a further understanding of what I’m talking about). From there you can proceed forward to doing some goddamn incredible things with your life the same way you do goddamn incredible things in Skyrim. 3) Detachment -- and unconditional love for the events and people in your life You also don't get upset when there are cutscenes that reveal new challenges in games. For example, when I play Drakes Fortune, I get really excited during the scene where a train blows up and Drake is left stranded in the middle of the Himalayas, even though it means my character lost his guns and power-ups. I recognize that everything that's happening in the game was designed to add to the beauty of the playthrough. When drake gets hurt, I might get upset or sad for Drake, but I don't suffer for it -- again, I never lose sight of how the scene sets up the fun part of the game. In this way I have unconditional love for everything that happens in the game. But in real life? Screw that. When bad shit happens, you suffer because you lose faith that what's going on in your life is actually part of your own design and you forget how the bad shit sets up the fun shit. This also applies to yourself as a character. This body you have, the timeline you experience, and the thoughts you conjure up are the game. You must love them for they are custom made to grow you. Loving the game and the cutscenes is loving your self is loving all of the people you encounter. Its easy to remain lovingly detached from the video game avatar known as Nathan Drake. But detaching from god's avatar known as (insert your name here) is seen as a radical impossibility at times. And for this, you suffer. Strong Enlightenment means that at a constant, gut level you see that the bad sets up the good and they are forever tied together. You might get sad over sad cutscenes in your life (i.e. when you lose control of your life and you watch as yet another personal train wreck happens), but you never lose sight of how the whole game is made out of pure love for you and only you to experience. --- In summary, I'm beginning to feel at a core level that I am the game designer, the open-world landscape, the first person POV that you play from, all of the NPCs I've ever seen, the game's script, and absolutely nothing -- all at the same time. 1) In this game, there are no rules. It is silly to make it as if arbitrary rules are anything other than arbitrary. Recognizing that the rules are arbitrary helps you access new ways of thought and behavior. It is the new thought and behaviors that one must seek if one wants to have superior morality, anyway. Contemplation + micro doses can seriously help this process. 2) In this game, remember that, you can't die, you can only reset, so there's no need to worry so much. You can find this piece of wisdom (a.k.a. the fountain of youth) by going alone to face your deepest inner demons. Psilocybin and 5-MEO administrations are amazing for this. 3) In this game, the ‘bad’ stuff is the wellspring for the good. Accept unconscious moments and externally controlled events/people with open arms just like video game cutscenes for this 'bad' shit is the only possible source for the 'good' shit. Post trip journaling is essential for this. We’re here out of pure love. We’re here to experience our true nature. Life is difficult so that it is truly rewarding when we find pieces of our true nature -- our ultimate god self. We are not in control. The ultimate player is. We only feel like we are in control. In the end though, it’s pretty fucking awesome that we get the chance to ever experience the game of Life. People talk about living for god or living a life of unconditional happiness or truly seeking enlightenment, but to do that you have to take on some pretty hardcore understandings. Are you willing to let go of your thought of reality as real? Are you willing to live life with the recognition that it is a video game? Are you willing to give in to what everyone else might deem insanity? Slowly, I am -- but I also have more love for life than ever.

@username that article is fantastic!

@cle103 It's not necessary to create a false dichotomy here. You could use your "powers" in marketing to help out plenty of great causes. For example, perhaps you could help out a certain charity or volunteering industry that you really want to get behind. If you're as interested in marketing as you say you are, then I'm sure a fledgling charity would love to have your help. On top of that, you could do this to build your portfolio. Imagine what future employers or partners would say when you hand in a portfolio with all the charities you helped figure out the online marketing for. This would greatly help your career as you build whatever ethical business you'd like. I had a similar concern when I built my photography business - I hate instagram and Facebook advertising and didn't want to contribute to an online advertising culture that relied on cheap tricks. Then I realized that a ton of charities would love to have someone take photos at their fundraisers for free and that by word of mouth, I could expand my network. Since I began volunteering to photograph those events, I have made a ton of new clients while doing something at least reasonably beneficial to the world. I'm moving on from photography to bigger things now... But when I look back at this time, I won't feel the total disgust with my methods that I worried I might have, had I used other methods.

I was a member of the varsity football, lacrosse, and track and field teams in high school and college. (http://www.hopkinssports.com/sports/m-lacros/mtt/tj_reeves_836986.html). And during that time, I grinded hard to have the "pussy-slaying" physique that I dreamed of. I also maintained a 4.0 GPA, created my own business, and established a free lifestyle that allowed me to set my own schedule. I thought I was essentially perfect. And yet, I still couldn't get a date because I didn't put myself out there to get rejected. I fucking hated rejection. And what drove me to success when I was younger was the misinformed idea that once I made it, women would never reject me again. My pursuit was perfection, and what resulted was a huge mental breakdown from the pressure... and no women. I tell you all of this not to brag but you assure you from personal experience that: 1. A good image and lots of money will at best only buy you time with her to get to know you better, especially if you mess up during the interaction 2. Good looks and money will make a greater percentage of women more receptive to you initially, but personality factors will takeover past the initial meeting. 3. When you begin to approach many women, you can never prevent rejection 100% of the time. Even when you have almost everything external taken care of. If you are not naturally raised from childhood with a secure mindset and an attractive lifestyle, you simply cannot become comfortable with talking to women until you go out and talk to more women... The number one way to get over rejection is to simply get rejected more often. It wasn't until I stopped relying on my lifestyle to bring people in and I started putting myself out there in a vulnerable manner that I started dating hotter, smarter, more loving women. For context, I've literally rejected or been rejected by+1200 women only to go out steadily (more than 2 months) with 6. But those 6 have been so worth it that I would talk to another 10,000 if I had to -- I'm talking about total bombshells with brains, personalities, and caring hearts. There is nothing wrong with rejection. There is something wrong with never getting rejected. If you take the path of personal embetterment in relationships seriously over the next year or two, you will recognize how silly it is to get so upset by only one rejection.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to spread information. Personally, I love teaching people about stuff. In fact, some of my most intimate moments come from letting friends and loved ones into my inner world of spiritual research. Similarly I love to find out about their inner world. That's why I post on here constantly. But if you want to stop this neurotic urge to teach people a lesson there are four keys to keep reminding yourself about. I had to learn them the hard way. I see that you are beginning to recognize them. Save yourself more pain by recognizing these ideas here and now: 1 - You are probably wrong about everything. Seriously, get over yourself. I get that you do a lot of research and shit. I do too. But you are wrong about something almost all of the time. When you recognize just how wrong you are about almost everything you say, you will become more humble and less willing to teach. There’s a reason why like half of Leo’s foundational videos are about epistemology. This whole thing about masculinity and femininity? Within about a year or two you’re going to be embarrassed about how wrong you are about it. And another after year or two, you’re going to be embarrassed about that new theory. And so on and so on. A huge sign of personal growth is constant embarrassment about just how wrong you were. Accept this before you start your next argument. Here is a great article to beat this idea of your wrongness into you: https://markmanson.net/wrong-about-everything 2 - You're wasting your time with people who aren't willing to listen. As much as you have the urge to teach, ask yourself if you want to waste your time. Lecturing to someone who doesn't care about what you have to say will often only make that person dislike you. It will also piss you off and turn you into an angry person. You have one life to live, do not waste that life by getting angry talking to walls. What you can do instead is straight up ask "do you want to hear my advice?" or "Here's what I found, I might go a little in depth so stop me if you're getting bored." That is not to say only talk to people who have the same opinion as you. I’m just saying that you must make sure the other person is actually making an effort to get your perspective just as well as you are making an effort to understand their perspective. The same way you only want to have sex with people who really want to have sex with you, only teach people who really want to be taught by you. 3 - Become more of an active listener, do this by pretending to be dumb. If you find that your intellectual side wants information so badly, then shut up and listen more. Smart people do not actually try to look smart. In fact, the smartest people often ask the dumbest questions. An example comes from podcasts like the Joe Rogan Experience or Star-Talk Radio. Those podcasters are very smart (one is a world-leading astrophysicist!), but they can ask very simple questions. Joe Rogan, especially, is willing to ask stupid questions but that leads to him getting out some of the most interesting information in the world from his guests -- that is why his podcast has 90,000,000 downloads in the past month. From these questions, Rogan ends up teaching people a lot. Remember, you don’t have to be the one lecturing to still teach someone something. 4 – Become more “selfish” about your personal development. Recognize that every individual has 100% responsibility for their own learning. That is, you have 100% responsibility for growing your own consciousness, not everyone else’s. Trying to bring up everyone else’s consciousness will often stunt your growth. This is a hard pill to swallow when you see a loved one struggle. For example, my mom often does unconscious stuff that drives me up the wall because I (think) I know exactly what she could do to help herself – but getting upset about it will not help my growth. At best, I can hope that she recognizes her actions while I use her life as a case study for bringing up my consciousness. The fact that you find yourself arguing so much tells you that you have a ton of more growing to do. Growing is hard enough for just one person. Focus on that instead of everyone else. (Exception: don't now become afraid to put ideas out there... Sometimes writing articles or papers about a subject will teach you a lot. For example, I had to reflect about my own life in writing this response and now I have a clearer picture about my own teaching-habit.) Overall, as you are already starting to see, the main thing is to become of the aware of the fact that you are arguing right as you begin to argue. If you can do this, you can begin to stop yourself. (P.S. I recognize the slight irony of the above because I'm attempting to teach you... But I figured you would listen because you literally asked for help)

@The White Belt Maslow himself criticized his work as incomplete and expanded his work to include transcendence. He discussed things such as altruism and enlightenment as needs, but he died before the idea could catch on. Heres a neat article about this final step: http://pages.stolaf.edu/psych-391-spring15/files/2014/02/Koltko-RIvera.pdf

@username Lol yep! The prayer could be though of as a smoothie of my favorite concepts to remind myself of. Others found sprinkled in there include the Serenity Prayer, Do you, the Power of Now, some concepts from ancient Tantra, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, Tools of the Titans, The Art of Asking, many of Leo's videos, and some concepts from Brian Johnson (who himself gets concepts from others). As I wrote it, I would peruse through my favorite highlights and add them in as they fit.

I created this document back in November, but I've reread it every day since then. It is part vision board, part life purpose statement, part words of wisdom, and part prayer. It hangs over my bed, in my bathroom mirror, on my refrigerator, and over my desk. I look at it many times a day to remind me of where I'm going and what I'm doing. It has also gotten me through many dark times. I don't know how I ever lived without it. I thought I'd share it with you guys. Perhaps it will inspire you to create something similar. The Enlightened Warrior Sage of Bliss.pdf

Spend huge amounts of your free time following celebrity gossip. This includes tabloids, youtube, and instagram. It's very important that you curate your instagram. How else will anyone respect you? Get drunk every weekend. Aim to literally become as unconscious as possible so that you have another 'Blackout' story. Why even bother being sober past 8 pm on a Saturday? Never, EVER, try psychedelics. Dude, only weirdos do 'hard stuff' like shrooms, LSD, or DMT... that stuff messes up your brain, right? Never question authority. especially not about psychedelics, spirituality, or anything you learned in school. Plan your life so that you work blindingly hard in your youth so that you can retire and do nothing as an old person. Especially in a job that you don't like whatsoever and that doesn't contribute to society very much. You have to be realistic, you know. Lie all the time. Lie to get ahead. lie to prevent people from feeling bad. Lie to make yourself feel better. Only work for yourself. Do not try to work for a higher cause. Work for the money. Keep your eyes on the prize. Never stop to smell the roses. it will all be worth it in the end when you get that prize, right? Quit your dreams at the first sign of trouble. pshhhh be realistic man! I've got problems I have to take care of now! Listen to your gremlins. You're brain is correct when it tells you that you're worthless. You wouldn't talk the same way to your friends, but that's because they're not on your level. Believe you have to be perfect. Or else. Other's can mess up, but that's because they're worse than you. Or maybe its because they're luckier than you and have life handed to them. Either way, everyone else including your loved ones can afford to have flaws and still be lovable. But you? you're special. You are the one exception regarding perfection... you gotta be perfect, baby! When you read and listen to self-help, don't actually try to put it into practice. just understanding the theory is enough. Don't tell anyone that what you're doing, either. They'll think you're weird. Your best friends will absolutely not try to help you as you attempt new ways to improve your life. When learning how to date, stay focused on impressing the other person. Don't ask yourself if you're impressed with them. Keep asking what you can do to convince them to like you. Question every text and every part of the interaction as if it is a giant shit-test. And for god sakes, don't talk to that girl you think is out of your league. Don't even bother to let her know you're attracted to her. Make fun of other religions/spiritualities other than your own. Those stupid fucking atheists, christians, buddhists, jews, hindus, mayans, scientologists, mormons, etc. just don't understand what's true. Get super upset about the economy, politics, and other systematic issues, but never actually do anything about it. only read the headlines of articles "just to be in the know" but then post things on Facebook as if you are an expert. Don't actually learn about what the other side has to say. Don't actually recognize that you have no fucking clue what's going on regarding complex, multi-national, historically-weighted topics: stick to your guns because you know what's right, dammit! Do not sit down and figure out what your values are. that sounds like a woo-woo idea. Its too difficult and takes too much time. I'm in this for the sex, man!