Ajax

It is simple enough. Men are more visual, women are more emotional. So looks may make women curious but personality makes them interested. It unlocks doors, not opens them.

@7oo13ad I think what leo is saying is that these models that we create can not be solid and inflexible. It must flow and be formless, and one must be willing to change them should the circumstances change. Just like Bruce Lee says, be like water... Human psychology makes us rigid and unwilling to change especially if they found something that works good. If we are to improve, we must change that basic attitude of human nature.

To create.

I don't think an enlightened being has anything to worry about, society has a tough enough time "seeing" psychopaths. A psychopath doesnt have a problem calling out an enlightened one though!

I like the Sun Tzu approach. That is how I lived my live. I tried to live that book even as a teenager. Accordingly, I played to my strengths an positioned myself in the most favorable position. You see, I have been in martial arts since age 5. So I spent my later teens teaching and personal training. In this way I was able to meet women, discuss common ground and thereby was it was easy for me to initiate conversation. From there it was easy to date and get laid. To me the trick is to make yourself desirable and interesting instead of pursuing women, the way of doing so is reflecting the desirable traits a woman wants in a man (be a fisherman rather than a hunter). I used my strengths in nightclubs and bars as well. I went with a female friend or two just to have fun, then we would hang out, joke around dance together. Many other women, seeing that I was having fun would definitely notice me and then I would ask several of the women to dance. Afterward, it was quite easy to get a few numbers from the girls that I liked. Then I would eventually set up a coffee or mall date and get to know her a little bit. Afterward, we would hang out a watch a movie at someone's house and talk, joke around and eventually make out... and then we go from there. I was pretty successful at dating, but I didn't use tricks or seduction. I just went to have fun and go with the flow. Of course I wanted to get laid, but that wasn't the main goal of me talking to women. I just wanted to have a good time just hanging out. If I got sex great, if not at least I made a friend of her... She often had connections to other women that I was able to get intimate with. Just don't get hung on one woman if she isn't interested, your goal is to just learn about women and how to converse with them. So if she doesn't wanna give it up, just keep talking to other women... It didn't take much effort or time on my part, other than just socializing. It was pretty fun and fulling because I was just making friends. Look, don't even bother with the pickup game is my advice. Just work on improving your charisma. With charisma, you can easily attract a woman without having to work like a jackass.

My goodness, There are so many! Just about every genre has it... but some of the big ones is R&B and Country here are a few examples: Actually, it should be ok as long as you don't get emotionally trapped.

@Edkens I imagine it would be a good idea to draw a little bit on what leo was saying in his last video. He was talking about how he had the endgame of his life planned out. So It would be wise to make a list of the things that you would like to have and do. When you are single, you have the freedom to do those things. So the simple answer is to do the things that would be difficult to do when you are committed to someone. So take the time to do those things for awhile and see how a relationship would fit into your life-plan... Make a checklist of "targets" that you would like to achieve. For example, establish career, get home, travel... whatever you want. When you check those off the list, then you can direct your attention to a relationship...

Caped-Baldy here reporting for duty!

@Emerald Wilkins I could make a case that looks don't make much of a lasting impression. Therefore it doesn't have lasting value... something visual is so transient it has to constantly be created. It is a temporary impression. Why? Because it pertains to a fantasy and fantasies usually can't maintain for long because the are not real. Personality and skills and virtue makes so much more a lasting impression. * edit: people are extremely self-centered, and what they remember and value the most is generally how you are making them feel. How do you want to really be remembered?

@Emerald Wilkins Makes total sense and is quite natural. Afterall, if you lose your identity... who are you? If the answer is not clear, you become who you was. Humans have a need to have an identity. Therefore, you must create a new identity. There is a conflict with who you are with who you would like to be.... I never had much trouble losing an identity because I was a hermit and had no need for attention of others, when I got married and had a child... I worked more on that one and my new identity overshadowed my old one.

I never had this problems. I suppose it is because how I viewed Truth. I defined truths as a reflection of the viewer. Just like light, we are looking at a reflection and it comes in many varieties of colors and intensity. Just like a rainbow, it can be seen but never reached or held. Since I reached the conclusion that the view is determined by the viewer, I can also extrapolate that the lack of view is determined by the degree of "fog" and mental orientation that the viewer sees. As for the word "Bonjour" I view it simply as a society attempting to reflect the values of a civilization which literally means "kind and courteous". In as ideal Civilized society, any situation would be done with the most kindness and love as possible, even dealing with criminals. This leads me to a question... Do you consider idealism as a practical or metaphysical truth?

I am so happy about Leo's video this week. I enjoy learnling about strategy. The Art of War was the very first book that I read on self development. I wanted to know who has read this book, I believe it is the ultimate guide to strategy. I would like to start this topic by sharing the 5 principles of a good strategist that Sun Tzu talks about. 1. Moral influence- Having the support of those in your circle, they will follow you through death and life... that is how much they believe in you and your cause. 2. Heaven- The environmental factors that are out of your control but have to work around, night and day, season, social atmosphere, moods. 3. Ground- The environment, the conditions of the path you have chosen. The ease and difficulty of the direction you want to take. The risks involved and the challenges that you will face. 4. Leadership- These are the personal traits that are best to develop. ST says they are wisdom, sincerity, humanity, courage and discipline. 5. Method- This is the management of your resources and the way you manage the factors that come into your life. This is a terrific topic and there is so much to say on all these things, but I gleefully await all your responses.

Well, Today I would like to talk about the first tip ST talks about when he talks about building momentum(chapter 5). "Managing many is the same as managing few; it is a question of division"; When you are engaging in strategy, you have to not only balance so many factors, you have to go toward your goals. An essential component of strategy is learning how to divide things properly. This is so important because you can use this principle with everything, time management, organization, personal finance, health and exercise, achieving goals... everything. So I repeat for emphasis: The key to strategizing correctly is divide your plan into easily achievable tasks that you can complete on a daily basis.

Thank you, Clay. I am happy to see that you find some value in it. Of course I would love to get your thoughts on it too, I take every opportunity I can to learn. I value it as a spiritual guide because its principles are based on the Tao and it is simply an instruction to help you through conflict. I would like to keep updating my thoughts on this subject.... Here are the 5 Faults of a Strategist: 1. He who is reckless can be killed"- This is regard to emotions, people depend on you and you must lead them with a level head. If you get impulsive or angry or do anything that causes you to react, it is an opening to be destroyed. If you have too much courage and disregard consequences, you can get over your head. People turn against you and you can get overwhelmed by the challenges. 2." He who is cowardly can be captured"- There is a time to put aside your fears and doubts and go for something. The easiest way to lose is to be afraid to take an opportunity because you lose ground and any advantage you have will be lost and everything you worked for will be gone. 3. "He who is quick tempered can be insulted"- The classic trick of deception is to misdirect. You insult an angry man and he will charge like a bull and you can attack in a different direction and hit him where it hurts. 4. "He who is moral can be shamed"- Don't have a need for pride and glory, because it can be taken advantage of you. If you value your reputation before your objective you are asking for trouble. Someone can put you in a position where you have choose between your reputation and the moral thing to do. 5. "He who is fond of the people can be worried"- There are going to people who don't like you and there are going to be people that you upset and hurt in anything that you do. If you are too sympathetic to them, it will make you indecisive and cowardly because you don't want to speak up.

@Edkens That's great news! Actualization is all about overcoming difficulties and facing new challenges. Guess what? You got one right now, so use what you learned to overcome it. After all if you can't use your tools, why have them? If you don't have the tools, how can you continue?

The first thing I thought is who the F*&k cares, you like who you like its as simple as that. But, I did ask my wife who is black for an answer... She said black men "spit" on their women, look down on them. They don't respect them... think they are full of drama and immature and don't wanna deal with them. She said that black men don't like their skin and that they stay with their mixed kids and don't give a shit about their black ones. Clearly she has issues with black men... So basically with that opinion in mind, is that Black men and women have issues with each other that makes things not work out. Maybe its a simple as white women are more into the shit that you are and you got more in common with them. But I am more mixed than a mulligan stew I don't know a damn reason for this, so that's my best guess.

Hello Annie, Sex drive can be linked with emotional intimacy. How well are you guys relating with each other? Do you guys have fun together, laughing and playing around like when the relationship was fresh. Emotions play such an important role in sex drive and the more interested you are in your partner and him in you, the easier it is to get in the mood. Another factor could just be a lack of stimulation, you need more purpose and challenges to motivate you and make you feel good. Happiness could be stated to be the feelings of accomplished you feel overcoming challenges.

I have this sinking suspicion that you are trolling so I won't get into this topic much... I don't know a single woman that likes being jack-rabbited... Rule of thumb: the more emotional and physical sensations that you stimulate in her, the better.

Tim, It is an exercise just like cardiovascular and weightlifting. Both of those require commitment and discipline. That means making yourself do shit you don't want to do. You need discipline and commitment to succeed so if you lack those then you know exactly what your problem is and what you should do about. Patience in this case is a red-herring! Good luck.

I really can't sympothize with you. If you knew how much time,effort, money and heart-break it took to raise you I am sure you would be much more tolerant and forgiving of them. Entitled spoiled brat comes to mind. My parents kicked me out at 19! Maybe they are treating you like a kid. Well you are still a kid and you hate that, so you are putting that blame on your parents because you are not man enough to be self sufficient. Work on independence, then maybe your bullshit issues will go away.

@rush Basically, you are programmed since birth about what is right for you, things you should have, things that people admire and respect because they represent status/acceptance. You are fighting 15+ years of brainwashing, of course it is a tough pill to swallow. The key is to question everything and accept only what makes sense to you at that time. There is nothing inherently wrong with pursuing these external matters as long and you don't neglect the internal ones as well. You will have your realization without dealing with some personal battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptkH0uK1uXM This should help you understand. I could also say that you have no idea what enlightenment, you have your own image of it but remain ignorant to what it actually is. This clip will give you a slight increase in understanding: Also, why on earth would you worry about what to do after enlightenment? Why not actually get to that point and then wonder what's next? Does a basket-ball player worry about what he is going to do after he wins the championship? NO! That is stupid, he prepares himself for the challenges ahead of himself and puts everything he got into overcoming whatever challenges he faces until he actually achieves the championship.

@cnorhistorian Thank you for your thought provoking statements I agree with what you are saying and I especially like how you said "the doors to wisdom open only from the inside." It reminds me of how Socrates spent his life proving that all the best minds in the world don't really know anything. There is also a world-wide pandemic of people who are afraid to take responsibility for their own lives and make your own decisions. They want someone to think for them so they depend on someone with "authority" to direct their lives. It doesn't have to just be a guru, it can be a doctor, it can be big pharma, it can be the news media, it can be pop celebrities... ad nauseum... I think singling out gurus without identifying and addressing the root cause would result in fake growth.

@cnorhistorian It is also important to know that there are lots of wrong answers. This is due to 3 main factors, false assumptions, not knowing the bigger picture and missing important details. Or to sum it up simply, a deficiency perception and discernment due to a lack of understanding. Many of these said "guru's" spend a great deal time, effort and money investing in gaining understanding. I for one find it helpful and worth costs to discover their distilled wisdom that would take too much time and money for me to discover for myself. As long as I continually refine my ability to recognize experts who produce their desired results, I know I am on the right track. My personal rule to live by, " An investment in understanding is truly the wisest investment of all."

1. Compassion - loving and helping widely and freely. 2. Good humor - having an upbeat positive attitude and the ability to laugh freely without restraints. 3. Flexible considerations - the ability to freely change my mind and not resist things; going with the flow. 4. Tenacity -having a firm focus of attention to my purpose. 5. Personal integrity - make decisions based and judgements based on my personal observations, thinking for myself. 6. Communication - strive to continually refine and develop my communication skills. 7. Courage - the willingness to confront anything and everything specially falseness. 8. Responsibility - having the willingness to admit cause and my participation in my condition and environment. 9. Systematic- training myself to discover and develop the best workable methods to accomplish my tasks and goals. 10. Honesty - not deceiving myself and others.