Ajax

@Edkens That's great news! Actualization is all about overcoming difficulties and facing new challenges. Guess what? You got one right now, so use what you learned to overcome it. After all if you can't use your tools, why have them? If you don't have the tools, how can you continue?

The first thing I thought is who the F*&k cares, you like who you like its as simple as that. But, I did ask my wife who is black for an answer... She said black men "spit" on their women, look down on them. They don't respect them... think they are full of drama and immature and don't wanna deal with them. She said that black men don't like their skin and that they stay with their mixed kids and don't give a shit about their black ones. Clearly she has issues with black men... So basically with that opinion in mind, is that Black men and women have issues with each other that makes things not work out. Maybe its a simple as white women are more into the shit that you are and you got more in common with them. But I am more mixed than a mulligan stew I don't know a damn reason for this, so that's my best guess.

Hello Annie, Sex drive can be linked with emotional intimacy. How well are you guys relating with each other? Do you guys have fun together, laughing and playing around like when the relationship was fresh. Emotions play such an important role in sex drive and the more interested you are in your partner and him in you, the easier it is to get in the mood. Another factor could just be a lack of stimulation, you need more purpose and challenges to motivate you and make you feel good. Happiness could be stated to be the feelings of accomplished you feel overcoming challenges.

I have this sinking suspicion that you are trolling so I won't get into this topic much... I don't know a single woman that likes being jack-rabbited... Rule of thumb: the more emotional and physical sensations that you stimulate in her, the better.

Tim, It is an exercise just like cardiovascular and weightlifting. Both of those require commitment and discipline. That means making yourself do shit you don't want to do. You need discipline and commitment to succeed so if you lack those then you know exactly what your problem is and what you should do about. Patience in this case is a red-herring! Good luck.

I really can't sympothize with you. If you knew how much time,effort, money and heart-break it took to raise you I am sure you would be much more tolerant and forgiving of them. Entitled spoiled brat comes to mind. My parents kicked me out at 19! Maybe they are treating you like a kid. Well you are still a kid and you hate that, so you are putting that blame on your parents because you are not man enough to be self sufficient. Work on independence, then maybe your bullshit issues will go away.

@rush Basically, you are programmed since birth about what is right for you, things you should have, things that people admire and respect because they represent status/acceptance. You are fighting 15+ years of brainwashing, of course it is a tough pill to swallow. The key is to question everything and accept only what makes sense to you at that time. There is nothing inherently wrong with pursuing these external matters as long and you don't neglect the internal ones as well. You will have your realization without dealing with some personal battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptkH0uK1uXM This should help you understand. I could also say that you have no idea what enlightenment, you have your own image of it but remain ignorant to what it actually is. This clip will give you a slight increase in understanding: Also, why on earth would you worry about what to do after enlightenment? Why not actually get to that point and then wonder what's next? Does a basket-ball player worry about what he is going to do after he wins the championship? NO! That is stupid, he prepares himself for the challenges ahead of himself and puts everything he got into overcoming whatever challenges he faces until he actually achieves the championship.

@cnorhistorian Thank you for your thought provoking statements I agree with what you are saying and I especially like how you said "the doors to wisdom open only from the inside." It reminds me of how Socrates spent his life proving that all the best minds in the world don't really know anything. There is also a world-wide pandemic of people who are afraid to take responsibility for their own lives and make your own decisions. They want someone to think for them so they depend on someone with "authority" to direct their lives. It doesn't have to just be a guru, it can be a doctor, it can be big pharma, it can be the news media, it can be pop celebrities... ad nauseum... I think singling out gurus without identifying and addressing the root cause would result in fake growth.

@cnorhistorian It is also important to know that there are lots of wrong answers. This is due to 3 main factors, false assumptions, not knowing the bigger picture and missing important details. Or to sum it up simply, a deficiency perception and discernment due to a lack of understanding. Many of these said "guru's" spend a great deal time, effort and money investing in gaining understanding. I for one find it helpful and worth costs to discover their distilled wisdom that would take too much time and money for me to discover for myself. As long as I continually refine my ability to recognize experts who produce their desired results, I know I am on the right track. My personal rule to live by, " An investment in understanding is truly the wisest investment of all."

1. Compassion - loving and helping widely and freely. 2. Good humor - having an upbeat positive attitude and the ability to laugh freely without restraints. 3. Flexible considerations - the ability to freely change my mind and not resist things; going with the flow. 4. Tenacity -having a firm focus of attention to my purpose. 5. Personal integrity - make decisions based and judgements based on my personal observations, thinking for myself. 6. Communication - strive to continually refine and develop my communication skills. 7. Courage - the willingness to confront anything and everything specially falseness. 8. Responsibility - having the willingness to admit cause and my participation in my condition and environment. 9. Systematic- training myself to discover and develop the best workable methods to accomplish my tasks and goals. 10. Honesty - not deceiving myself and others.

@Anaaaaaaaaaaaaaa You are being too passive with you meditation. I view meditation as a very active exercise. I always start each meditation with an intention such as expanding my awareness as much as possiple. Try keeping your eyes open and being aware of everything every sound, movement, breath... it is conscious awareness. Remember that meditation is an exercise, and to benifit from it, you must increase its intensity... imagine doing 100 pushup for 3 years... you will not improve. The same goes for mental exercises

@Steelheart First realize that personality is much more important than looks. A magnetic charisma will draw many more women than size. Women love a man that is playful and funny, which is why I imagine so many comedians are so short. Also, consider bodybuilding or weightlifting as a sport, do you realize that short people have a huge advantage in that area? Seriously, Google "short bodybuilders" As far as real growth, I believe that that the key is having the right reason for doing something. It should be something that you like doing and makes you happy. Like if you want to be funny, the reason should be that it makes you feel good and you enjoy making other people feel good too.

Science has also created increasingly effective means to not only destroy ourselves but our life support system as well. Humanity as a whole is not so intelligent... Happiness, fulfillment, peace, security, stability and harmony are still very elusive dreams.. No faction has not fully solve those problems, so to me yes science is only a perspective in regard to many issues. However, the value of skepticism is highly undervalued in spiritual pursuits and one of the most important and necessary qualities to have on this journey. That is one thing I wish more people would have.

@LC If enlightenment is not your passion, you should pursue your passion! If you are already a very passionate person due to you having found your passion, then your passion shall lead you to enlightenment much easier.

Thank you for your reply it looks as if we found a root cause. I can understand that it feels like it is rare to find someone that you can connect closely with, share deep and personal details with each other and feel understood and accepted. It is especially hard if you are emotionally guarded...you become too emotionally attached.. It seems exceeding clear that she doesn't want what you want... at this time. This shouldn't stop you from at least talking to other girls you don't have to date them. Connecting with other people on deeper levels will allow you to be more emotionally independent. Remember how Leo said that the key to Acing life was to do the most emotionally difficult thing? Now is the time to practice that.

@FindingPeace Yes, I have had the very same problem that you have had. It also continues to this day. However, I do have quite a bit of hope for the future. Sure there are many limitations and restrictions. Same with a board game such as chess. However, one can work within those rules to create something amazing and marvelous. You have to shift your mindset to work within your boundaries. You have to get creative, you have to get inspired and adapt and improvise... In the meantime, continually do things that continually stimulate your mind. Right now, what I am doing is writing like a maniac.. it doesn't even matter to me if the shit I am writing makes sense, I am writing and writing... recollecting past memories, writing thoughts and fantasies down, Creating images in my mind and writing about them..etc. These things cause me to raise my emotional state and become much more positive and optimistic, I am able to solve problems better and am in an excellent mood. I put my thoughts down and it releases the charge that has been inhibiting me and affords me a greater perspective in life. In essence, it is your own lack of imagination that inhibits your growth due succumbing to wallowing in your failures.

Indeed, that is why the trait of courage is invaluable. When things get chaotic, people tend to attach themselves onto something solid and hold on for dear life. It is a terrible trap to get into so they must train themselves to constantly break patterns and limits. Simple concept, but hard to keep at it...

neither... I like this technique: https://www.megagenius.com/free-briefings/making-universe-work-you/

Generally when a girl wants to be with you, they will be hooked. Sorry bud, she doesn't seem to be that into you. Of course you already know this or you wouldn't have named the title of this thread as you did. So the question is... Why are you pursuing the wrong person?

Leo covered this subject pretty well in his two videos on the subject.... The reason I follow Leo is practical application and his no B.S. approach. Have you checked them out yet?

Nothing is more powerful and influential than the Truth. When you take yourself out of the Truth, you gain the ability to harness the truth. When you speak the truth you get to peoples minds and conscience much more effectively than yelling or threatening. In addition the more truth you see the more you can use you higher knowledge to manipulate the situation to your advantage... *Edit* Besides, there is a difference between identity or personality and EGO, the latter is the sum of our desires and experiences... our judgements, opinions, biases, fears etc. Basically the aspects of yourself that causes you to react to things.

Folks want to create you in their own image... it's BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU! It used to bother me, kind of makes me laugh now They are hell-bent on helping you by "raising" you. And E-G-O is it's name-o

Good Morning, Sarah... I wrote an essay, but said to hell with it and deleted it lol! I would like to let you know that you will make mistakes, might as well face it now... It's gonna happen, ain't nothing you can do about that one. I would like to remind you that unhappiness leads to many unintended consequences... Children are more resilient and adaptable than you realize, all you gotta do is ensure you provide the qualities that help them prosper(love, structure, education, security, etc...). Many of us were raised relatively "normally" yet we still struggle to fit into society, does that make us freaks? We sense there is something wrong in pop-society and so we create our own position in life... that is a gift!

You got hundreds of "mental walls", you gotta break through those barriers to free yourself.... All too often you find your life purpose by doing things that you really don't wanna do. For example, for years I wanted to be a writer... but I don't like to write very much, I don't have to much creativity, I don't have much imagination...I couldn't write a story to save my life... but recently I have been sitting there and break through my "writer's block" by doing writing exercises after exercises and it has opened my mind and writing skills tremendously. I am at a point right now, where I still don't like writing that much but when I am writing I get these tastes of heaven and become so full of passion and energy. I am here to tell you that you have "Life's Blocks", Sooo you have to blast right through them. If you are tough and persistent enough to do this you too can feel moments of of bliss that will gradually intensify and increase.