Sleepwalker

Hi to everyone who's reading this... I'm glad to finally get this out of my system. I started noticing that I've carried a heavy burden for quite a while. In some way, I consciously refuse to let it go. It's not that I can't, but I'm not sure that I want to. I think that I want to carry it with me until the end, until I reach my goal. My burden is the need to look a certain way in order to be happy. I posted this here, and not in the fitness & health section because I don't want to ask you for fitness advice, but because I noticed that this simple, seemingly harmless and small issue in my life started to toxify into a serious emotional problem that doesn't allow me to live normally. Now, I deliberately chose to focus on fixing this aspect of my life (my looks) and I already kind of know what the next steps are, but I need somebody to tell me if I'm going towards a good route and if I'm making good decisions on this path. Actually, in the last few days I started wondering that I'm doing myself more harm than good by trying so hard to reach this goal... All of this stress and anxiety, because I often make mistakes and overeat and don't manage to reach my goal quickly enough (and I'm trying really hard) and all of this doubt in myself, have led to the outcome that almost every day I go through some of these emotions, depending on how strictly I sticked to my self-imposed eating rules and diet. Just a few days ago, I've had the first day in months in which the voice in my head finally shut up and it hadn't had anything to criticize (I weighed myself on that day and I lost a lot of weight), of course, until I overate again. I started wondering if this is the right way to go towards, because of all the stress and anxiety which may influence my mental health. Although, I can see how reaching this goal would be beneficial to my life and it would solve many other problems (at least, I believe that with all my heart), it would raise my confidence and solve my problems with communication, social life and intimacy. I can see how this missing piece would fit in the overall picture of my life and connect many other parts. On the other hand, I started to doubt this approach and to wonder if it's authentic. In other words, I'm not sure if the confidence gained by fulfilling this goal would be solid, strong and long-lasting, because it would depend on the look of my body. This seems to me more like hiding an insecurity about myself, by fixing something in the external world, than being trully confident. I think that true confidence is internal and that it doesn't depend on circumstances in the outer world (like the look of your body). So I started thinking, what if I simply let go of this goal and accept myself exactly as I am, without changing anything? What if I just let go and allow myself to be happy? Well, I came to the conclusion that I'm not able to do that... It's not that I don't want to, but I simply don't feel that it's in my power to allow myself to be happy after I would let go. It is almost impossible for me to create any mental picture in which I would be happy after letting go of this goal, this desire to look pretty, this burden, which makes me so unhappy because I struggle so much to get there.. and at the same time, gives me hope for happiness in the future. It gives me hope, because I know that it is out there, that I don't ask for any extreme change... it is achievable. In my situation, if I would be able to perfectly control myself, it wouldn't take me even 2 months to achieve it. It is so simple and achievable that I'm embarassed that I'm still not already there. Theoretically, I could let go of this burden, but I already can imagine what the outcome would be. Just then, my life would turn into hell. It would be pure misery and depression. If I would accept myself and my life without changing anything, I would be stuck on the same place, with the same toxic people, with all the same results and outcomes in all aspects of my life. It would be so depressing that I couldn't handle it. I also considered combining self-development with self-acceptance and doing both simultaneously. I came to the conclusion that it doesn't work this way for me, or at least, not right now. I struggle very much to understand how they function simultaneously, although I am open for trying it again if you have some suggestions that could help me. Therefore... is it really that bad if I continue going down this road and continue pursuing this goal, although I am aware that I'm focusing on a very petty thing right now? Anyway, when I come to the end of this road and conclude that it didn't make me happy and give me the confidence and fulfillment I expected... only then, I will know that self-acceptance is my only salvation. But for now, I feel like I have to go down my current road and see where it will lead me. I would really like to hear whether you consider this decision as being valide and good. Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance for your help.

@Jonas Thank you for explaining all the steps. I failed to understand the "how to" of dealing with this problem, but you literally solved it for me I'll certainly apply the advice. And again, thanks to all of you. I would never have expected to get so much detailed information and that there are people who would be this eager and determined to help me with this issue, willing to invest their time and patience just to give me proper advice. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. God bless all of you.

@kurt I understand now and thank you. I'll keep it in my mind

@kurt Yes, you were right about my values, but really they're everyones values. Every human craves happiness, peace and contentment. ...I just thought about what you said and to be honest, I feel like all my attempts to lose weight were already trying to serve those values (obviously without much success so far). One of my top values is feeling good in my body and all of my actions were just ment to fulfill this need. Maybe I didn't express my problem clearly enough at the very beginning. I have self-imposed eating "rules", but I'm not starving myself to death or punishing myself and I have no interest in being anorexic. I WANT to eat and live as healthy as I possibly can and that's what I was actually trying all the time. For me, looking good and losing weight is just a quite important component of achieving that healhy lifestyle, but it all boils down to feeling good in your body. So, to make this very simple: should I RESIST eating a bunch of junk-food or am I ALLOWED to eat it? In light of my higher value to feel good in my body, the answer would be: resist! And that's exactly what I was trying all the time and struggling with! The truth is, I am struggling to live that HEALTHY lifestyle. I'm not talking about a struggle to maintain an extremely unhealthy low-calorie diet, but about maintaining a balanced and healthy one. I'm kind of a sweet carb addict and that's why this is so difficult for me. My family is making it even more difficult, because they don't live healthy either. For instance, I'm doing really good for maybe 3 days and all of the sudden I find the house full with all possible kinds of junk-food which I cannot resist. If this wasn't the case, I most probably would have reached my goal a loooooooong time ago. I talked with them, told them to hide their sweets from me. They would always do it for a couple of days and then just forget about it. I place my last hopes on the possibility that I won't live with them when I go to college. Because this is such a struggle for me, should I let go of trying to live healthy? Letting go of trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle would be like letting go of feeling good in my body. OR I'd have to feel good in my body regardless of my lifestyle and physical appearance (perhaps ideally?) I am soooooo confused right now. Thank you for trying to help me, you have no idea how much I appreciate your advice. and I'm sorry for being this annoying.. I guess that my situation is a little more complicated.

That sounds amazing! Thank you so much for sharing this, it's so insightful and inspiring. I always used to choose "change" instead of acceptance. The concept of self-acceptance made sense to me, but to change simply seemed to me like being more useful. Now I really get to believe that acceptance may be of more importance and more fulfilling. Btw acceptance seems to be a passive process, there isn't much to do. but is there anything specific or practical that I can do that could support it? @kurt And another thing. So now, because I "let go", what exactly am I supposed to do about my eating habits? Am I allowed to eat as much until I feel satisfied, even if it's more than I should be eating and could possibly lead to gaining more fat? If I got this right, the eating habits will eventually stabilize over time? I really kind of fail to understand this one. Perhaps I got it wrong?

@kurt There's no need for me to try to convince myself that the idea will work. Because you did it already I'm really impressed right now.. because people usually describe me as being very stubborn. Nobody could give me a good enough reason to let go, so I used to believe that it's difficult to help me and that I'm kind of hopeless. I will try this and thank you.

@kurt I want to believe this with all my heart. It isn't really that difficult to let the desire go, but it is difficult to deal with the outcomes of that decision. Worst case scenario: obesity? I'd like to let the desire go, but what if I end up being on a worse position than I'm right now? I'm afraid that the feeling of anxiety, because I failed to fulfill this need, could easily creep back on me, worse than ever before. However, thanks. This sounds really helpful so far. It could work and I'll consider doing it. I just need some time to get used to this idea and convince myself that it'll work..

@Jonas I am aware that good and bad are created in the mind, but regardless of that, I'm still operating as though they're real. For instance, what I care about are the results that "being fat" will give me in the external world: unattractiveness and rejection. And yes, subconscioussly, I label those results as bad. But how couldn't I, who would judge me for doing that? I still don't want those outcomes. I understand that "bad" isn't connected to them at all, but am I supposed to feel good about them, or even neutral? No, sorry. There are certainly people who can feel that way about those (and I tried in the past, too), but I seem not to function in that manner. I cannot tolerate those outcomes. I had to accept them in the past and all the depression and emotions that came with them. I already had a long history of self-acceptance and emotion-acceptance and never felt any sense of relief during that time. Whatsmore, it lead to hopelessness and even suicidal thougths, because I had to tell myself, "yeah that's my shitty life and I'm supposed to accept it, even if I'm stuck in the same place forever". After that, I came to the conclusion that that's more painful than trying to change. Maybe you're right, but just up to a point. I used to think that way before, too, until I realized that I actually don't have control over my thougths. Nobody has. If that would be the case, I would always choose to think positive and to feel happy. But I'm not choosing the thoughts which pop up in my mind. I used to blame myself constantly for having negative thoughts. But they just appear. All I can is choose is to believe them or not... Of course, you have a little control about your thougths, when you consciously choose to think specific thougths, but since the majority of your thougths is subconscious, fact is that you can't control all of them. After I found out about this, it was the first feeling of relief about this situation. I always used to think that I'm to blame for these kinds of issues and this information helped me a lot.

Mostly the do nothing technique and the most common one (where you release thougths when they come into your mind), I don't know how it's called... The first 6 months I meditated just about 20 mins every day, the next 12 about 30-35 (I never rushed to increase my meditation time, I always supposed that it was enough) and the last 6 months about 40 mins. Also, there are at least 12-15 days a year in which I, for some reason, didn't get to meditate (forgot it, or willpower drastically dropped etc). Could it be that that's the reason why my meditation isn't effective? Because of those "cheat days"? Btw I always wondered, what exactly will meditation do for me for these kinds of problems?

I've been meditating for 2 years by now. I never felt a significant change so far.

Does anyone have some experience with dirty bulking, or in other words - eating junk food to build muscle? I've recently been involved into bodybuilding and stumbled upon this information. The idea seduced me really quickly I'm female and my body is very pear shaped, therefore I'm currently working to build muscle in my upper body to look more proportional. As far as I'm concerned, to build muscle, you need to be in a caloric surplus and this is the initial bulking phase. But during that period, you'll necessarily gain some fat. Now, does it really matter on what kind of food I'm bulking, as long as I track my macros and make sure I get the proteins, carbs and fats necessary for muscle gain? Why would I have to cut bread and sweets on a bulk, as long as they stay in the range of my macro intake and I don't go overboard with the surplus? Do they prevent or interfere with the muscle growth, or have some other negative effect on the process? What exactly makes the difference between someone who bulked on healthy food and someone who bulked on junk food, besides, obviously, that the first way is much healthier? Correct me if I'm wrong, but even if you're eating all healthy (with the intention to gain muscle), you'll get fat no matter what diet you're eating, simply because you're in a caloric surplus. I think that muscle gain comes always with at least a little fat gain. Now, there are some ways in which you can gain muscle and lose fat at the same time, but in the rule, this is the fastest and most effective way for muscle growth. Yes, this way I'll probably look really bulky and shitty for myb half a year, before I go on a cut, but the other method would take me probably as twice as long. I've been struggling with my body shape for quite a long time, so I'm kind of really needy for some tangible results. Don't understand me wrong, I don't want to go all crazy with dirty bulking, hell no. I care about my health, but I'm asking if it's ok, for example, if only 500 calories of my overall daily intake is junk food (as long as it suits my macros). Thanks in advance, I'm veeery curious whether this shit really works!

@Siim Land Cool, you've got some damn good results using this diet. Still, I wonder why there's so much information out there that stresses a high carb intake for building muscle mass. But thank you, this was so helpful and resloved a lot of my confusion about this topic. I'll definitely give it a try

@Siim Land Now you got me really curious.. I was dabbling with a ketogenic diet for a couple of weeks in the past. Let me ask you, how did you manage to gain muscle on a ketogenic diet? I decided to quit it exactly because the diet seemed NOT to be appropriate for putting on muscle mass. It is very effective for fat loss, though. But building muscle? What about carbohydrates? I've researched this so deeply and in detail, that I simply cannot emphasize enough how important it is to eat lots of carbs when trying to build muscle, carbs that a keto diet cannot provide. Yes, protein is a key factor, but it isn't enough. You HAVE TO take in carbs along with it. They fuel your workouts and give you the energy to maximize muscle growth. I'd like to hear your opinion since you've managed to break these facts.. I suppose that you probably can build muscle on a keto diet, but very slowly and just up to a certain point, after which the muscle gain starts to platoe. or maybe you just have really good genetics, so the diet could work out for you in such a way. I don't know what exactly the composition of your diet did look like, but the most accurate ketogenic diet contains about 25% protein, 5% carbs and 70% fat.. Well, how did you feel? Did you ever feel dizzy or without energy on your workouts due to the lack of carbs? I experienced that a lot on my keto diet. I felt very very weak and tired.. Therefore I concluded that it isn't optimal for building muscle, because I wasn't able to lift heavy..

Recently I've been thinking much about this topic and it has been a big question for me, too. I'm not a psychologist and I can't claim that my opinion is "the right one" but anyways I'm going to share it with you. Perhaps you can find some value in it. I think that you should embrace your negative thoughts as well as the positive ones. The majority of people labels the negativity as "bad" and tries to avoid it by any means. By doing this, you neglect your negative thoughts and they literally crave your attention more and more. Therefore, they have to be acknowledged and accepted as well. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should let every negative thought automatically pull you into its mood. Actually, I've been working on positive thinking for the last few days because it simply allows me to perform better in my day to day life. I always try to stay positive and cheerful, especially when I go out and socialize. I noticed that being positive is actually crucial in social situations and that I cannot allow myself to be negative around other people anymore. I leave the negative thoughts and emotions on the side until I have some alone time in my day. Then I set aside 30 mins to feel those emotions, to dedicate my attention to them and do what Leo actually suggested in this video. I also meditate every day and use the do nothing technique. Those are the times in my day when I allow my monkey mind to go absolutely crazy without judging it. This way I manage to embrace both, positive and negative thoughts. I hope that this is a good approach for living life and a good way to "blend" those contradictions of positive and negative thinking. Hope that this was helpful

I really don't know whether I should classify this topic in the "serious emotional problems" section or not. I don't know if it's a serious emotional problem, although it may be. I just know that I honestly need to get this out of my system and get some help if possible. First, I'd like to mention that I've got some outstanding drawing and writing skills, but at the same time I think of myself as extremely neurotic, dysfunctional, if not even asocial. I'm only 18, but I have regular existential crisis that I don't see any of my friends having. Not just my friends, but really I don't see anyone having it in real life except on the Internet. Most of the time I feel hyper-aware of my surroundings, of the negativity in the atmosphere when a "toxic" person comes into the room, the tension and the emotions hit me and run over me like a train, and I'm constantly judging other people (and myself) for living our lives so unconscioussly. Every day I see so many people waisting their lives, waisting it in petty relationships, in eating junk-food, in cheap stimulation etc etc... I see them, I see that all of this doesn't bother them at all. And it kind of really hurts me to watch this. I tend to connect those issues with the fact that I'm a very artistic person and that many famous artists were this way. The problem is, I feel so alone in all this. I don't want to say that there is nobody with whom I could share my thoughts. I tried to talk about this and I found out that I'm very good at expressing myself when I want to. I don't have a problem with that, but honestly there is nobody who could understand what I'm going through. I talked to my mother. She doesn't seem to have any special opinion on this, she just listened and looked very confused, almost scared. She probably thinks that something is terribly wrong with me and she's afraid, but doesn't want to hurt my feelings and tell me that I've got a serious problem. I talked to my best friend, too. I think that she's trying to understand me really, really hard, but she looks similarly confused and scared every time I try to start this topic. And nobody has a clue how to help me, except that they tell me that I'm just imagining all these things, that I should stop focusing on them and live my life like everybody else does. But honestly, I can't. I don't know what would be more terrible for me, to stay this way or to be like everyone else. Even if I wanted to be "normal", I wouldn't be able to stop the emotions and thoughts that hit me so hard. I feel horribly labile and restless all the time, like my brain works and thinks and feels constantly, absolutely 100% all of the time. It's a monkey mind, the most crazy you could possibly imagine. Surprisingly, my meditation is pretty calm and relaxing most of the times. But as soon as I'm over and come back into the real world, it's like the meditation hasn't ever done anything for me, like I'm waisting my time (I'm meditating for more than a year now). Also, I want to mention that I'm not depressed. I don't know how I'm not after all of this what I just mentioned, but I kind of manage to deal with my situation and function normally. But still, when for example, a strong emotion hits me, I simply don't know what to do with it. Should I let myself feel it? What does it even mean to allow yourself to feel an emotion? Does it mean that I'm allowed to cry if I feel like it? That I'm allowed to yell at somebody who got on my nerves? This isn't even 1% of all what I could say about this. I'm not even sure what advice I should expect. I just want to know, does anybody feel the same, and how does he/she deal with it. If you can come up with any advice or insight why, I would appreciate it, too. Also, if you think that this should be moved in the "serious emotional problems" section, please go ahead and move it. Thanks in advance

I get your point, but I don't feel about this community like I would about a religion. This community consists not only of like minded people, but of open minded ones. We are here to question ourselves and to grow together, not to agree with just one major opinion without even questioning it and follow the herd like sheep. Religion (most of them) asks you to believe in something, if possible, without distrust. This community doesn't ask you to believe in anything. Btw there's nothing wrong about feeling certain and secure because someone agrees with you, as long as you're still open to another opinion. Just be careful that you don't get caught up in your own dogmatism. There's nothing wrong about having a support network, or at least a high-quality and conscious one like this. Actually it certainly will help you to grow so much more than you would on your own.

I wouldn't consider this forum as a place where everyone makes you sure of your opinion. Of course, people can agree with your believes, but most of them won't hesitate to doubt them and crush them as well, if they find them not to be beneficial or healthy for you. In a sense, it is advantageous because it makes you trust yourself more, being more secure and confident. It makes you kind of fulfilled, too. I mean, everyone loves good feedback and to be agreed with. But like with everything else, I think that some disadvantages come along even with this. For example, all the agreements tend to feed your ego and make you too convinced of yourself. Just because people agree with your opinion, don't make yourself think that you must be right We can't really know what something can be good for, even a "bad" or "wrong" belief. In the end, some of the worst decisions in my life have started the journey for me of wanting to self-actualize and to become my greatest version. If it weren't them, I wouldn't be writing this and I wouldn't be at the stage I am now. Approach everything with a healthy dose of skepticism, even if it's a very popular opinion or your own. It doesn't matter how many people agree, because in the end, almost all of us are stuck in the same matrix. Therefore we really cannot know anything for sure even if something seems to be very obvious. But yeah that's just my opinion

Sounds like you're taking too much at once. You can't fix all your problems in a few weeks or months, some of them even not in years. You say that you feel depressed because you don't enjoy your job, but you have to understand that everything takes it's time, and you have to baby-step your way towards achieving your goals. Want a new job? Fine, but you have to plan it all out. The solution is not only to quit your current job, but to have a precise plan for finding a new one, a one that suits you, your needs and your strenghts. You can commit to spend 15 or 20mins every day (for a few weeks, maybe even months, depending on your situation) in planing, journaling, contemplating, or concretely, making a plan for leaving your current job and finding a new one. While doing this, ask yourself what is it that you really want? I know that this sounds very easy, but I have to warn you that this may require some serious work on your part. Finding their passion isn't a simple process for most people, and just this can take you a few months to find out (if you choose to work on life purpose, finding your passion etc.). As soon as you're clear about what you want to do for living, then you start to research the "HOW TO" question. I want to point out that you don't have to do this straight away. Maybe you have some other, more important issues in your life that you want to work on first. Like you said, now you're working on your trust issues, so maybe you want to leave this for later. Take just one thing at a time. I can't stress enough how important that is, especially if you're working on big, life changing things. So, pick what you want to work on first. Of course it works! But only if you actually DO the work, instead of mental masturbation and just bullshiting yourself. And please, stay on track and keep fighting, because it will pay off... I don't think I need to tell you that, you already know that it will In order to achieve your goals you have to be willing to fight. I find that personal development spends a lot of energy, because it includes mental and emotional work. Therefore, be willing to take the struggle involved with it and that's when you're going really to grow and develop yourself Good luck!

@quantum I actually don't know it in practice, but Leo explained it in one of his videos, I don't remember what it's called. He talked about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and mentioned that there's a stage beyond self-actualizaction, which is enlightenment. And even that isn't the final peak of the pyramid, because there are different stages of enlightenment. I don't think that the "peak of the pyramid" even exists.. I guess that our potential is infinite, that we always can grow more.

I did them for a few months combined with visualisations, every day for 10-15 mins. At first I also didn't believe them, but the point is that you don't want only to say the affirmation, but you really want to feel the emotion involved with it. You have to be willing to imagine that the affirmation has already come true. Ask yourself, how would you feel if it's already true? Then try to hold on to this feeling during your affirmation sessions, until one day you will hopefully come to the realisation that the affirmation really became true. For instance, if your affirmation is "I am confident", you will notice that something in your behavior or thought patterns probably has changed, that there was a shift which makes you feel more confident. For me personally, affirmations are a grat technique to reprogram your subconscious mind, but I found out that you have to keep doing them again and again for months to make them actually stick. I did them for 2-3 months and felt great during that time, but as soon as I was over, the positive effects started fading away and limiting beliefs started creeping back on me. I don't want to discourage you, just keep going it's a great technique, but remember that this is a long-term process and that you'll have to return to your affirmations whenever you feel insecure about them. Reprograming the subconscious mind isn't easy and it requires some work. Hopefully you'll make the affirmations stick. Good luck

The answer is no. Enlightenment and self-actualization are not the same. Enlightenment is above self-actualization

I agree with the previous comment. If you really want to overcome a fear, you have to expose yourself to it over and over again.. Then it's only a matter of time when you're going to "break the ice" and release the fear. You could be right with this, because nobody of us is ment to correct all our weaknesses. Life is more about figuring out what your strenghts are and expanding those. You didn't mention what exactly your fear is (I'm sure that we could give better advice if you were more specific) but you have to ask yourself: is this really crippling you, is this something on which you currently really need to be working. If this fear directs the trajectory of your life, if it prevents you from growing and actualizing... you should definitely consider to take the iniciative on this. Depending on what your fear is, do the research and the work necessary to overcome it.

@Lynnel Yeah I know you're probably right I guess I should let the world do it's thing and do my own. I will work on this. Thanks for the advice.

@Pinocchio When I sit down to "feel a feeling", the first thing that catches my attention are the sensations in my body. For me, they're almost always somewhere in the core, in the chest or stomach. I personally perceive them as the feeling itself, because when I pay attention to them APART from the thoughts that probably created them... I realized that they are really nothing but some weird tensions and knots in my body. I mean, when I look at them apart from everything, apart from my current psychological state and from what causes them, their existence absolutely doesn't bother me at all. To be objective and real, they don't cause me physical pain, not even mental if I look at them for what they are. Earlier, my brain used to trick me that they will hurt me in some way, or at least, that I'm not supposed to have those feelings, that normal people don't experience so many of them as I do etc. Because of this I always considerd my negative emotions as bad. As time passed I realized that realitiy is designed to be neutral, including emotions. They're not good and not bad. But society raised us to believe that they are. To sum it all up: if I'm having a negative emotion, that doesn't mean that the emotion is BAD or that I shouldn't have it! That means that I can actually allow myself to feel this :OO Omg this was so eye opening. I usually "feel a feeling" when I meditate. It's a meditation for me. The first few times when I tried this, my body literally resisted the feeling. My body was shaking and cold shivers were going down my spine, although it was pretty warm in the room. But as you said, the feeling completes itself at the end. It's like it becomes bored of itself. The only time when the pain still hits me is when I forget to "feel the feeling" and instead of it focus on the situation for which I tend to think that it causes the the feeling. Then, when I feel anxious like that, I just have to remember: oh it's just a feeling. And it is there, but causes no more suffering. Resisting the emotion was what caused me the suffering, not the emotion itself. This was so incredibly powerful and helpful. Thank you so much for your help

@Pinocchio Yes this is very helpful, thank you but there is something on this technique that really bothers me. If I really commit to stay true to this, what about the people around me who will see me just "feeling my emotions" and think that I'm probably carzy? Society usually tends to tell us to "stay strong", to not show our pain and weakness to other people. It tells us always to remain positive and cheerful around others. Even my family members get annoyed very very easily if I cry in front of them. It's not rare that I got beaten up for expressing a negative emotion or crying in my childhood. So, what do you suggest, should I continue to feel my emotions regardless of how they will manifest on me and affect my surroundings? Or should I "save" them for later, until I'm somewhere alone and where nobody can judge me for having those emotions? @Study Thank you for the suggestions, much appreciated @Catanio I don't remember what this meditation technique is called, but it's the one where you release your thoughts and pretend that you don't exist. This works great for me, because when I pretend that I don't exist and forget who I am, I don't feel any suffering. It's like pure magic, although it's just 30 mins of peace in my day. After the meditation, unfortunately I'm always back at where I was. I tried the "do nothing" techinque too, but I never felt the "short window of peace" of which Leo was talking about. The monkey chatter just keeps going on and on in my mind, constantly, through the whole meditation. @Argue Thank you I will keep this on my mind and try to find more positive things in my day to day life @JeffR1 Good to hear that an adult and wise person can resonate with this and deal with it in such a mature way. Thank you, I will work on this. @wasabelll Yeah that's very very true. I kind of always knew that... but I guess that we have to be reminded sometimes, don't we Thank you very much.