nex462

Do you still plan on doing psychedelics like 5 meo dmt for personal development in the future? Last time I heard from you was the 30 awakenings in 30 days and you seemed to be relapsing into those God states and having negative experiences. You say that you are also becoming more sensitive to drugs which may affect your ability to experiment with them.

@Meetjoeblack Ok thanks

I don’t have too many goals in my life other than get a job that makes a livable salary (maybe ~$40,000 CAD). Right now, I spend all my free time on the computer watching videos and playing video games. I feel like I need a constant stream of entertainment of some kind or else I will get bored. Reading a book would be a difficult task for me if It doesn’t peak my interest. I have no social skills and am very awkward to approach. I would also consider myself to have below average intelligence. Throughout most of my life I used to procrastinate but I have been able to eliminate it for the past 6 months or so. I am in my early 20’s and I am in my third year of a 4-year business degree, but probably closer to halfway due to failing a few courses and not having a full 5 course load every semester. Right now, I’m majoring in general management, but I don’t think it will be very useful for job prospects and I’ve been reading online that concentrating in a more specific area should be important. I currently have the option of majoring in Accounting, Finance, General Management with either a concentration in Innovation and Entrepreneurship or Social Innovation, Human Resources, International Business, Marketing and Supply Chain Management. I feel like Accounting is off the list since I don’t think I could handle spending all my time dealing with accounting statements and numbers. I took a course in it and I hated it. I originally went into business since I wanted to get into online marketing and the idea of marketing was always interesting to me. I’ve read online and I’m hearing that companies are looking for people who can analyze lots of financial and statistical data and the traditional Marketing jobs that required not as much expertise in Mathematical knowledge are becoming less relevant. What are your opinions?

This isn't a question but I think love itself has some paradoxes. I watched a near death experience a while back and they said when they were feeling this unconditional love, it felt as if they were loved the most. They were shown that when this unconditional love loved someone else, the other that experienced the love would also feel that they were loved the most.

This question has been on my mind for a while and I have several questions listed here. 1) Does God have to go through every single possibility for it to accept itself or will it only have to experience a portion of itself. So for instance, there exists an infinite number of potential realities for a hell where the self could experience infinite pain for eternity. Can God fully accept itself without going through this? My ideal fantasy would be only going through a process like we see today until God fully accepts himself. If you can become fully enlightened by reincarnating yourself a certain number of times on a planet like this until you become fully enlightened, that would seem much better than having to experience the hell I described. This also relates to the free will of God since if it is not able to choose which parts of itself to become, it would be forced to experience them all. 2)If God has to experience everything in it's entirety, would it be possible for the enlightened portions of itself be able to experience itself rather than the non enlightened parts of itself. I've heard that enlightened ones have no resistance to pain and thus don't have to suffer. If God has to experience itself both in ego consciousness and enlightened consciousness in these hell realms, that would be the worst possibility I could imagine.

Question for Leo If I accept these infinite hell realities, would they stop existing? I saw one of you replies on another thread saying Love dissolves "evil" like light erases shadow

Thanks for your replies. Yeah I probably would have been wiped out. From my perspective embracing infinite pain seems like something a masochist would do which in itself don't understand how he or she would enjoy.

I haven't really gotten deep enough insights to know. Using mathematics, I read up an answer saying that all the real numbers act as the middle point of the two infinities or that the answer is indeterminate (not exactly known, established, or defined)

There is another quote I copied off of from a comment of someone who claims to be enlightened and lives in a constant state of bliss. These two quotes from her mirror what Leo says about causing unnecessary mental suffering "Nothing on earth has the power to destroy me because i have transcended beyond that. There is self preservation but ultimately i have a "so be it" attitude about every single thing." "The reason it rarely happens is because i approach things that happen from a perspective where being upset as a reaction or response is usually inappropriate or useless." "my third eye opened by accident after a near death experience in childbirth twenty years ago. i came back to my body and tried to continue my life as normal. But that was not possible. Every dark shadow in my heart was brought to the surface. i was forced to battle my inner demons. i wasn't given a choice. i literally had to kill my demons in my dreams and in this way my soul was purified. i walked through the fire but not on purpose. i felt that burning pain of the darkness of my heart burning away. Then entities made contact with me inside my dreams to awaken my consciousness even when asleep. They taught me the physics involved with energy work over many many months. my third eye opened as i began to master skills like astral projection and remote viewing, telepathy and control over elements when awake. one day, i was standing next to my kitchen and suddenly all the light of love in the universe went into me and poured through me. on that day i became a vessel for God's love and a manifestation of love in the world. i went into intense ecstasies, physical ecstasies, indescribable ecstasies. and twenty years later it remains the same. my talents have changed and matured and my focus has changed over time. But, the feeling of bliss and peace and pure ecstasy never leaves me. i fall asleep in ecstasy and i wake up in the morning in ecstasy. its not a state of being i have to will mentally into experiencing. i read no books and had no names or terms for the things i was experiencing. i was very confused at first and felt i must be losing my mind. i didn't tell anyone what was happening to me because i was afraid of the consequences. i was incredibly confused and an unwilling participant in this, at least at first. But now it is my natural state of being. the person i was no longer exists. my ego is unimportant. my Enlightenment is unimportant to anyone including myself other than being aware of who and what i am which is nice and less confusing. and also, only useful in so much as it is helpful to other human beings. There is no power trip here and i rarely tell anyone im enlightened because why should they believe me. what difference is there for anyone to know that about me. But, there are times i wish people were not so blind to the obvious because i would be willing to help if they asked but then again even that doesnt matter because everyone is where they are supposed to be in life, on their own path with their own experiences and their own level of spiritual growth. The more spiritually advanced you become the more you realize how little it matters where someone is on the path in comparison to yourself. They will get there in their own time and on their own terms. and thats how its supposed to be. its a really bad idea to assume for anyone else what their experience of enlightenment is. You dont get a cookie or gold sticker for having it. it wont raise your social position in the world. You wont be taken more seriously. instead what it does is offer you a permanent sense of well being and a permanent state of bliss and happiness. well, thats nothing to sneeze at i promise. im extremely blessed in life and i know that. and when i say permanent i do not mean i do not have feelings sometimes, even strong ones, even sad ones or angry ones. But, negative things that happen dont affect my emotional or spiritual wellbeing the way they do most people. Even physical pain is somewhat numbed. You learn to control that also. Nothing on earth has the power to destroy me because i have transcended beyond that. There is self preservation but ultimately i have a "so be it" attitude about every single thing. when i say permanent i do not mean 24/7. i just mean "mostly all the time." what i mean is ecstasy, Love and complete peace is my natural state of being. i may deviate a little bit here and there but i always return to that state. and its not an effort or prayer or meditation. i was permanently transformed and changed through Enlightenment. ive experienced loss of loved ones since then and i did cry for my loved ones but even in my tears i was in ecstasy. After awhile you get so used to it that it becomes the new normal. The only time i ever notice it now is when its temporarily taken away if i am upset by something in the moment, which very rarely happens. The reason it rarely happens is because i approach things that happen from a perspective where being upset as a reaction or response is usually inappropriate or useless. Everyone seems to have an opinion of what it means to be Enlightened but please know if you are Enlightened you would know it without any question because it would be impossible to escape even if you wanted to. But why would you want to. infact, why would you want for anything at all. There is a downside to all this in my experience. its hard to keep your feet on the ground because you exist in more than one world at the same time. i have to do things sometimes to ground myself inside my body and this plane of physical existance. a cool night breeze off the balcony is useful for sobering up an enlightened one. i have to pay extra close attention when i do activities that include physical risk of some kind. left to my own devices i probably wouldnt notice or care if i didnt take extra precautions to protect my physical body. Functioning in society can be problematic. You kind of want to sit there and do nothing except BE. i make a point to keep myself in check and make sure im not being too flaky. i function alright but its deliberate and before i was Enlightened it wasnt an effort to care about my physical wellbeing or surroundings. i dont know if any of that makes sense. ive tried to convey my own experience in a way that i hope you might be able to understand. There is alot im not saying but its not anything you yourself dont have access to knowing if you inquired and did some reading on it. in closing, i just want to assure people Enlightenment is a real thing. its not a made up fairytale or a matter of perspective. i do believe its worth aspiring to, though i never intentionally perused it for myself. if you want to know how i became enlightened i will share but i dont know how many ways there are to have that change occur inside you permanently. For myself, it was the trauma of several years of absolute misery and emotional pain in childhood, the near death experience during childbirth, inherent psychic sensitivity that laid dormant before that time, also a general sensitivity to my own body and energy and emotions as well as other people and environment and animals and even inanimate objects."

I would be curious to know as well. I heard Leo talking about how happiness is the acceptance of the now from this link: This is one of the things he said: "Happiness is just total acceptance of whatever is happening NOW, no matter how terrible is it. Imagine that someone is sawing off your leg, and you are like, "Okay, cool. So be it. I will enjoy this." << That is true happiness. You don't resist it." Another person explained being enlightened as this: "When you are connected with the deepest truth within, there is satisfaction, contentment, and happiness that sustains as much as the enlightened state itself. In the early experiences of awakening there can be a fluctuation in feelings as the entirety of the ego has not completely dissolved".

Your thoughts remind me of this video: In one example of the video, he talks about how if you were to add a series of blocks with each one being half as thick as the previous, you would be able to reach infinity. If the blocks had two colors, then you would be met with a paradox with which color it was at the end of the set. In the grand scheme of things, God could be performing every possible action and at the end of it all, something new that has never been seen before would be met. Whatever this is would not be a thing or nothing, nor would it exist in time and it also wouldn't exist in absolute infinite.

A long time ago, I used to have these really weird nightmares. All I can remember is some kind of shape or object getting extremely large and then extremely small. These occurred early in my childhood. I was watching videos of fractals a few days ago and they somehow made me remember about these horrible terrifying dreams I had. The fear and terror is beyond anything I feel I could experience in day to day life. I recently started researching the topic and came across this website: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Suffer-From-Night-Terrors/632008 You can read some of them but I feel like I can somehow relate to the impossible task part. Although I can't remember it directly , it somehow feels familiar . What the guy says is quite interesting. The last part of his experience seemed to relate to the experience of 5 meo dmt. Here is a quote: "The shapes i encountered during my impossibly fast ride were similiar to parts of your average Mandelbrot fractal. Except unimaginably huge, 3D, and seemingly real. As if "I" am the Mandelbrot being pushed or pulled infinitely fast while two infinities squeeze against me."