harisankartj

@nexusoflife DAaaamN! Thats some heavy shit bruhh!

@nexusoflife Even if its for 10 minutes, its okay.Build a daily meditation habit. It will help...As for your situation i am really sorry but i don't know what to suggest since i myself am only 17 and only going to college.

People,you are looking at the text that different users are writing and deriving meaning.Now try looking at the empty space that is containing the text that is being written in this forum.Is there a judgement? No.Is there a judge-er? Is there enlightenment? No. The above empty space explains itself more than any mind's rationalizing.There cannot be anything there in the end. Quiet non-existent space which allows everything which forms the groundless ground of all existence.Logic of "since and therefore" won't get you to a place where you already are.

@MiracleMan Woah dude that quote really explains itself. But really dejected that cravings will never go. i seem to fall into addictive thought patterns AGAIN and AGAIN . watching porn,social media,internet but nothing seems fulfilling. i better reconcile with the fact that i will never completely let go of cravings. @TJ Reeves Your explanation was really good and yeah what i thought was if this chasing of pleasure was the thing that's causing disappointment why cant we just forever let go of it.when you are addicted and you get a "hit" of whatever you are addicted it feels like just for a moment EVERYTHING in the universe is perfect but then i come down. i am just really afraid that feeling of "aaahhh... now i'm free,now there is nothing to worry about" is just an illusion.But as @MiracleMan said i guess u can only understand it and not give in to it.

If i was doing my contemplation practices correctly..then what i have found at the very end is just emptiness,thats it. I always thought that it was going to be a OMG moment,but this feel so independent of human needs...its just the "truth of existence" ...which is nothing...meaning what is described as "truth" is nothing at all.

My english isn't good so please excuse weird phrasings. @Leo Gura what my contemplation seems to have arrived at was the awareness of "absence"...absence of any substance.That there was no definite "aha this is the truth! omg this is liberating! " but simply a recognition of nothing.i fantasized infinite orgasms but simply got bare existence with nothing to contrast it with .It was definitely not relative.Hell it seems weird i am still referring to "it" like it has substance. My mind now keeps trying to objectify that nothing and compare it to my human perceptions to create nihilistic thought patterns that keep me restless.I can't seem to even work at something without going existential,becoming aware of "the nothing", comparing it with the "worldly life activity that depends on giving meaning to groundless form" and create a caging of myself I know that its the ego's response to the existential truth, but i can't seem to stop this. ALL my previous worldviews,views on society,social relationships of friends and family and happiness are getting shattered.And there seems to be CONSTANT SWINGS BETWEEN BEING DOWNRIGHT LAZY TO WANTING METAPHYSICAL REALIZATIONS. I don't know what to do.BTW i have been watching westworld and thats intensifying the need for getting metaphysical. @Nahm But relative truth too is to some degree based on human perceptions right? i find it unnerving to think i will never arrive at a single place and say "AAH FINALLY I CAN REST IN INFINITE KNOWLEDGE AND NOT SUFFER"

@MiracleMan So its impossible for a person to rest into that peaceful state and not have cravings for anything till his physical death? Shouldn't then society as a whole focus only on mindfulness to get what they truly want ?

@street19 Wish u all the best for your ventures man!

@SFRL DAMN...I do feel like me being unhappy is a thing i should be neurotically resisting instead of accepting that... kinda makes sense now.

It seems that if i am in a happy,funny mood my mind does not seem to want to "be active more" and just want to enjoy the present moment But then I become guilty since i am not "doing something creative " or am not reading a book on philosophy ...and that i am joking around with my people.

@Joseph Maynor I was lazy this whole time and guess i should at least take a little time out of my life to continue this journey . Will do @egoeimai Thanks for that more accurate phrasing! @SFRL so wait... even if you go long enough into the journey..you are bound to feel negative emotions...?

@Morrtiz Daaaaaamnnnn.....

@HikiNEET Okay thanks for clearing that up mate. @Nahm I guess that's one way of looking at it.

@HikiNEET But what about the thing called "spiritual purification"? Doesn't it mean purifying oneself of ALL NEEDS ?

@metamorphose I would suggest that you do humbly diminish your relationship to your mother since you must do what is ultimately good for you.Its sad that she has come to accumulate such negative patterns of behavior but , so do other people in this world . HOWEVER , if you do maintain the relationship i suggest a little experiment... Whenever she talks in a negative way, IGNORE IT . Negativity is like a field,it can be reduced by positivity. Taking in her negative comments, not playing into her behavior and essentially YOU TAKING THE LEAD WITH positivity has A POSSIBILITY that she might start to change. Try watching this video . It might help you understand how to turn your mother into a more positive person. Cheers.

The way i see it,suffering is a story that the mind creates and holds onto...so that it can feel like a somebody.What the mind refuses to admit to itself is the emptiness of the story,and therefore the non existence of an ego to hold onto the story ..and maintain the illusion. The mind creates a cage , puts itself inside it and asks "where is my freedom" . So the solution must be that humans must be made to realise in their direct experience how they are unconsciously attached to their own stories...when in reality the story had no substance and also existence itself has no substance ...which will then ease them for eternity. This can be done through various "spiritual" practices.Among the most practical ones i find are Leos meditation techniques.

@jse Thank you so much for sharing this! Paul hedderman surely knows his stuff!

@street19 You don't want to live. AND IT IS OKAY. Allow the feeling of resistance to life.Allow wanting to kill yourself.Allow the feelings you are feeling., WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. You will never "find peace" cus you are peace itself.Let go of the mind,let it run wild BUT,WATCH IT WITHOUT JUDGEMENT .Let them come Let them go. Life gets better dude.And i mean it.

WHAT the actual FUCK IS BOREDOM?!! Okay that was kinda passionate, but really... i know deep down EVERYBODY wants to know what it actually is ... because tbh that is what everybody is escaping from in life.

Wow , thanks for clearing that up!

i always used to think when i sleep i have dreams and they took place in my brain.But as i began to be mindful of senses,i am doubting whether dreams are not just images ....but actually A DIFFERENT REALITY from the one i am living.How do i know what is true? How can i trust the five senses?What can i rely on? ALSO ------ What makes me resistant to accepting other realities is that even when i dream i am still this body.i have never been another person....or is it just that i have been another person ,but have NO MEMORY of it? Pardon me for the scattering of questions ,i really feel somethings up.

soooo, basically what Leo and others here are saying is that Life is like a GTA game where anything goes,and when the body mind dies the game is temporarily over ...only to respawn somewhere else as somebody else? BOY... no wonder i have motivation problems to work hard,,, i keep getting existential and getting nowhere... But ... the only sensible thing to do,as far as i can see...is to sit in a room and just exist? or go rebel on everything and waste life? because there seems to be a lot of "control" happening inside me I ALWAYS KNEW IT MADE NO SENSE TO BE GOOD!

Yes @Nahm , i read your reply But even if u are right, don't i need to experience that in subjective reality? to fully understand your point?

1.During self inquiry and contemplation, doesn't the language that a person speaks influence or shape the insights that he gets ? For example a person speaking English might contemplate differently from another speaking another language,especially with different sentence syntax structure such as Hindi (India's language). 2.Also,if one contemplates on a matter and the end result is an insight,or a deep discernment of the mechanism at work concerning the matter,How do I know for sure that its accurate? Or since the insight occurs beyond the intellectual mind,should this be accepted as the truth? NOTE! : Question 2 arises from the fact that i cannot rely on any sense perception for truth and i don't know if insights are pure enough to evade the radar of skepticism. This also goes back to my paranoia of wanting to find objective reality and finding security in it. ---> in short ,what can i trust to get to truth?

FEAR OF EXISTENCE :- because it is ignorant of the needs of any organism. FEAR OF NO SENSORY STIMULI:- Meditation and self-inquiry revealed that sensory perception is not be taken on faith.This made somebody inside me feel ALL alone with NO SENSE OF SECURITY . FEAR OF HAVING TO GIVE UP A LIFE :- cause FACE IT,if u take this journey you will reach a point where social interaction is pointless and i am afraid of that. This is an emotional argument. Once the dream of life is realised there will be no need to live it and i am scared. In short,I am scared of the demons.