harisankartj

Hell yeah it's cool !!

@Michael569 Thanks for the advice. Yeah i'm kind of a noob sometimes and that gets the better of me.Now i know what to work on.

@Joseph Maynor So it IS THOUGHT! That's what I wanted to hear to be honest ( yh validation of belief is frowned upon I know ) but that's what I feel.They don't have any ACTUAL foundation in reality.

That's what is happening. The worst part is I can't seem to let go of it.My neck starts twisting like a sort of paralysis and i know it was caused by stress.I am 17 and live with my parents.Though there is not much worry for money,my self-expression is restricted since my parents don't consider stuff like personal development. I even particularly remember the exact event that caused this building up of stress. I was doing a household chore that lasted an hour or more.The drudgery of it triggered a lot of fear of the future,self-doubt, and "caging" of my emotions ...and i used that as negative motivation to get the work done which just made it worse. The tension is felt in the neck muscle,top of the head, face and shoulders. I cannot seem to let it go even if i feel them. My neck stiffens and remains that way unless i relax it,even then the tension remains. My body feel like shit right now. Thanks man will look into it.

@nick96 I have not yet studied aspects of mathematics that deep. So my reasoning here will look amateur,pardon me. See that is exactly what led me to put up this topic in the first place. I tried to "define" a number by attempting to see "where actually the number is " in empirical reality, which confused me a lot. Hmmm...now that you mention it,that is quite true. But if that is the case doesn't the entire field of science purport to model reality without tackling epistemology of how scientific modeling is done ? ( Phy, chem, math , bio ) .If so are the kids in our school studying something that doesn't ACTUALLY exist in empirical reality? '....creates a model ...' . I agree that mathematics make accurate models that other aspects of reality seems to confirm. What I am saying is "math is a human creation" and not actually what IS in direct experience. IT'S too remarkable how models seem to confirm reality but .... ahhh. I still have a nagging sense of "this is not it" . Not cus your arguments "aren't strong enough" or something but I personally have a hard time grasping of the essence of "math". Will it exist devoid of human need of modelling? It seems so constant ...TO US. If our visual field was circular instead of flat we would have different concepts of modeling space right? I guess what I was trying to figure out is the "actual foundation" for math....the epistemological grounds for math.Mathematics seem to be "catered to us" instead of the "actual structure of direct experience".... know what I'm saying..?

the title says it all.

@Fuse 1. Meditation is a good first step. Put in practice a daily mediation habit.These videos will help. IMPORTANT NOTE! :- Don't overthink anything or be overwhelmed at the "things you have got to do" and just start taking action..even if it is the smallest. BABY STEPS. 2. Self-acceptance.Watch this one DAILY TILL IT STOPS MAKING YOU FEEL ANYTHING (trust me this will take more time than you think) A guided visualisation for self-love -

Thanks man. I am watching the video right now.

@Danielle Dude thank you for doing this , this is gonna be a big help to everybody.

I feel what you say man. One night I was alone in my room at ...idk midnight... and I was you know being mindful of myself when suddenly the whole night started to feel like a horror movie. My insides started shivering for no reason and needless to say there was a lot of fear. I tried to ignore it but wouldn't go away. I even saw a vague black presence going by which just freezed me. I still don't know how I got through that night. I have never again felt that kinda fear till recently when I did self-inquiry and fear was triggered for seemingly no good reason. I immediately got up and distracted myself.I need to go back to it. I can't give you any suggestions man since I am more or less in the same place as you are. Listen to the advice of other members, and keep working at it slowly . Good luck!

@Nahm haha... relief to hear that it's not just me. @ajasatya Dude....... :"D

@Socrates This is one awesome topic that you just posted. I agree that mankind's first and foremost goal is consciousness. But saying that the next generation will be "back on step one" may not be true.In OUR HISTORY , it has been that way. But if we set up the right educative environment for all our children,imagine what would happen then ? And when I say educative I don't mean academia,I mean the developing the capacity for genius through meditation and contemplation.The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston introduces this concept although he doesn't go to the application of it in depth except in cases of enlightenment. I think that the deepest problem of "mankind" is a collective backlash of ....."individual humans who fear to ditch indoctrinated reality aka social reality ,master themselves and commit to true reality...The Truth" . Leo seems to have done it,and we are in that process. My point being,teaching the future generation "how to think for themselves" will ensure progress of humanity. "Give a man a fish,he'll eat for a day.Teach a man to fish,he'll eat for life." - Lao Tzu

@SOUL OMG That's sooo truee... @Nahm When I said "dominate" social interactions I didn't mean manipulate them and satisfy my selfish needs, I just meant that I couldn't manage the "speech and body language chemistry" with anyone. I noticed that it was my ego trying to fake enlightenment and exist as a conceptual nothing. So yeah I do have a big ego that needs to be ridden away with. Woah that is the first time anyone has ever actually told me that .... thank you...??? (This is getting weird. I'm just gonna go have an ego death)

@cetus56 I'm hoping you are right in that I won't die. @nightrider1435 Looks like I have to develop that intuitive trust.

Hey man. This is a little insight from Leo which he pointed out somewhere in the forum and which I found true in my life. All addictions are not about "the substance" but about your "relationship to the substance" . So if you want to get rid of your gaming addictions by all means listen to what the other users have posted here,they are good ... but keep in mind that the nature of an addiction is unaware mind activity that "keeps you on the run" and not still.... ( which is your true need in life and what gives greatest satisfaction ). So in a way there is nothing wrong with gaming so long as you are conscious of your mind.

@cetus56 Yeah true but when I was alone and going really into the now..... DAMN it feels like i will literally die. I felt like an old man who was at the end of his life ... but the difference is I didn't want to die . I always had this perception of "I am a humble guy" but in the end it all was directed towards ME. I cannot understand how life after ego death functions. Will I even be motivated to eat ...?After ego death what will drive me to do anything in life ..?

@Max_V What I am actually afraid of is how " I " will function in the world after ego death . I used to think of ego death as "oh my thoughts will stop i will stop being selfish and through that i will be completely fulfilled " . I didn't expect ego death to be so " literal " as fuck. The embodiment and re-contextualizing of direct experience is the confusing and scary part . I feel social interaction "gets in the way " of re-contextualizing reality.

Hey guys I found a cool video on the topic I posted!

@Lorcan That was what i was pointing out too . What confused me is the realization that Mathematics was not founded in ANY ASPECT of direct experience aka reality . For physics, chemistry and biology we can at least say that something "of substance" is witnessed and we are conceptualizing it on paper, in form of field report or something. But math is the only field of study that is heavily biased to aid human need of measurement and NOT actually occurring in reality . The only form of math I see in the world are symmetry. Besides that ALL math seem to be putting "our twist on the world".

I don't understand. Does that mean awareness of some activity ALL THE TIME ? Like .... i should be aware THAT i am reading this sentence. I should be aware THAT i am sitting in a chair .I should be aware of my surroundings. I should be aware THAT I am going to die.... I have never heard any enlightened people talking of awareness like this... Rupert Spira says awareness is like defocused all encompassing presence....but Leo talk about being aware like being aware OF STUFF like conceptual .... and i have been thinking about this topic of what consciousness ACTUALLY IS too..

All roles are self-concepts created with the (backfiring) intention of wanting to feel competent within a certain social grouping (or to please someone).Once these are created then they continue to dominate your experience (even when you are alone there is no social demand) in the form of "self"(egoic) - defining thought patterns,emotions,etc. The function of these self concepts is to seek some sort of "definition" so as to maintain a boundary. And the efforts made by these self concepts sabotage your happiness. Imagine your authentic self as a naked body.Meaning roles are costumes worn unconsciously and mistaken for the body. Step 1 : Become aware that you are not supposed to be immediately aware of a certain role,since it is a self-concept which is evident ONLY with certain circumstances UNLESS a contemplative effort is made. Step 2 : Before making the contemplative effort, first commit to being ABSOLUTELY HONEST throughout your inquiry. Because when you start to find the birthplace of the role the egoic self senses threat and will come up with ANY thought pattern to distract you from letting go of the role. Step 3 : Once you choose a certain role 'X' go back to your memory to accurately pin point when in your life you seemed to have adopted this . To help make this easier I suggest a conceptual framework.A role may come anywhere in between this spectrum. |||| ? ? ? |||| VICTIMIZATION ___________________X_______________________________ X__________________________________X________________________________POWER-HUNGRY A B Try to figure out where in this spectrum X lies. If X lies near A try to remember the times you felt powerless, when you could't manipulate reality to your needs, and how you let your mind create thought patterns to confirm this belief of powerlessness.Subsequent actions were taken only to confirm this belief and you have come to identify them as yourself.By confirming the belief the role has been created, LO AND BEHOLD! the self has been defined.The costume has been worn (because to be naked is to be open to the possibility of harm). If X lies near B try to remember the times you felt powerless, when you couldn't manipulate reality to your needs, and how you were offended.You wanted to gain more control over reality and so the mind proceeded to adopt thought patterns to confirm this belief of having more control and seeking to constantly be in a state of power , constantly alert to any threats that make the self feel powerless. Thought patterns of wanting power created, there was seemingly sort of control at that situation, LO AND BEHOLD! the self has been defined.The costume has been worn (because to be naked is to be open to the possibility of harm). Step 4 : Once a role's roots have been discovered notice HOW its defining you conceptually and not allowing to directly experience yourself, restricting your authenticity. To help make this easier... Conceptual self (role) -------------- Nature is goal-driven ( it's to satisfy something, a subtle sense of social pressure,has an introverted, self-checking mechanism) Authentic self (YOU) -------------- Nature is self-expression for the joy of self-expression (NO SOCIAL PRESSURE, you are free of defining yourself in terms of the social groups.There is no need to define yourself --- you are extroverted with people and even when you are in solitude with yourself you will notice how even your thinking seems to be extroverted ---there is no need for self-checking ) Step 5 : If you have been successful in letting go of the role you will notice a) a greater sense of social freedom, a cosmopolitan outlook ( you feel a citizen of the world, you are not part of any group ) b) being more in touch with your body ( you have come out of your head into your heart ) c) increased stability of mind. and many other benefits which I will not be going into here. NOTE ! :- Don't confuse verbal thinking with progress. Verbal thoughts are meant to point towards greater knowledge and so must always be directed towards the subject matter, in this case are roles. Also the understanding must be connected to the big picture. I hope this short guide will help anyone wanting to drop their roles.This is just one method of contemplation which I think will be beneficial.Other methods will be equally appreciated.

Who says drinking beer and eating pretzels is "bad"? Who is the arbiter of "good and bad" here ? Why should one activity be preferred or rejected for another at all? Must an activity always be considered "in the grand scheme of things" or be done so for the enjoyment of it? Hmmm....Good topic for contemplation.

I feel its ALWAYS good to go back to the basics of what we are doing here . I stumbled on this video and found it to be really ..."establishing" on what mindfulness is and what it includes. If you don't have the time to watch a video this long,I suggest you start from around 50:00 ...which i found to be really insightful. Have a mindful day everybody! <3

Its scary how true all of this is...and how i am a slave to my surroundings. But great write-up though! Waiting for the next chapter.