Hugo Oliveira

I hear a lot about the success of clinical research. But rarely reports about the permanent healing effect of MDMA for ordinary users who suffered from depression or trauma. Has anyone here tried it on its own with healing purposes? How was it? I'm also looking for information that can make me closer to underground MDMA healing centers.

@aurum Appreciate your perspective on that. As I became more open-minded and multiperspective about this subject of dating, I recently saw myself falling into rigid mindset traps again. I was becoming obsessed with the need for a better or perfect vibe/feelings before approaching women again. It was having a toxic effect on me and your comment kind of woke me a bit to that. Thanks!

It is fucking real! If you are able to separate romance from neediness and codependence it will be a level up. True romance was lost in our culture for being confused with superficialities, attachment, and neediness. From my perspective, romance is a superpower. Don't suppress it. But if your feelings for this specific person are going in a bad direction, don't get lost. Be able to let go, don't be scared, and move forward. In the future, you'll be able to have the same feelings for someone else. Reflect upon the idea that the ability to love someone is far more powerful than any pickup line or manipulative behavior. Be honest about the love and responsible about the neediness.

Hey guys! I suspected many times that my conscious/unconscious thinking about approaching was very messy, so I decided to contemplate that and find some clarity. I created two lists: one with healthy mindsets and another with toxic ones that I want to let go of. And decided to share it with you. Feel free to copy mine or elaborate your own list. List 1 (my top positive reasons to approach) 1. To honor and celebrate beauty: the beauty of woman, romance, and adventure. These are all beautiful things that I think are worthy. I want and decided to value. 2. Sexual pleasure: being very honest and shameless about it here. 3. Fun, friendship, and connection: I have a lot to give and experience beyond just sex. Women too. 4. Abundance: if you are able to do basic "game", while you do it, you can always have potential connections and relationships. 5. Learning and self-knowledge: "game" can be a tool to evolve and get a better understanding of women, life, and yourself. 6. Refusing mediocrity: not settling for a life of neediness and loneliness. 7. Rebelling against "social norms" and mainstream mentality: which makes us distant and unimportant for each other, leading many people to loneliness, and sickness. 8. Rebelling against mainstream behavior and mentality about attraction: relying on myself and my values, cutting out the BS about status, social media, appearances, and futilities as means to connect. List 2 (my top toxic reasons to approach) 1. Believing in obligation: I don't have any obligation or debit with anyone nor any idea. I'm free to do and think whatever I want. 2. Wanting to compensate: I don't need to prove anything to anybody nor to myself. I'm free to be whatever I am. 3. Needless: I don't want to approach women to alleviate my neediness or lust. These are feelings that can occur but will pass. 4. Seeking a sense of worthiness: my happiness and sense of worthiness don't need to be based on how much sex or relationships I have. This is a choice, I choose to take it and put in other things. 5. Wanting to use or take advantage of women: that's a trap. I want to respect others' feelings as I respect my own. I got what I give. That's it! I felt happy for elaborating these lists for myself as a guidance system and I would be happy also if any of you guys find any value in it.

It is called prospection and it is a great way to make shit happen. But it requires some context and understanding. It worked for me as a designer. I sent 30 emails and got a job. But trusting only in numbers is a weak strategy. In my case, for example, I needed to find the people with better potential to connect with, I found specific employees inside companies who could like my work and contacted them directly through their best email. I showed them good things I created, I built rapport in my message, and so on. It is simple, but not easy. Think about yourself if you would offer a job to some random stranger who appeared in your email box with a CTRL C CTRL V desperate message. Think deeply and elaborate on that. Feel free to DM.

Just to reinforce, I don't think you are expecting nothing from another word. Your criteria is maturing and for sure there'll be people who matches.

@Preety_India Not sure what your doubt is. It seems like you already know what you want. Just to illustrate better, it may be an opened relationship with a reasonably mature guy, who knows how to love you and how to f*CK as well. Having intimacy and agreeing with the intention of being each other priority (romantically). I think more and more people are becoming opened to that, and it is from my perspective, the finest relationship modality. Avoid dividing human beings into extreme categories like "alpha or beta". Open to the nuances and pick the guy who fits in what you desire from now on.

Read "The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on The Tibetan Book of the Dead" By Timothy Leary It may possibly give you valuable intellectual resources about the process.

If you are in your early 20's, understand one thing: You are NOT supposed to have everything figured out. Shit will happen, you have to be able to forgive yourself, be patient, and be resilient. Be humble to learn from your mistakes and time will vanish everything forever. When you look back you'll see how stupid and childlike was the whole situation and all the participants. Slowly bring your attention to what feels good and fuck being perfect. Connect with goodness. The authority these people apparently have is not real. In practice, these events you described seem to be a result of your obsession. Learn that obsession can f*cking harm you.

I know it is a common question and a very individual decision. But I wanted to ask if you guys have some insight to share about it. I'm doing Vedanta guided meditation and I feel like I clearly understand the suggestion of liberating the glue of the mind's attachments and doubts in order to connect with awareness and wake up to something higher. But I'm very challenged for possible material accomplishments. Mainly in sexual attraction, I have the need to progress and empower myself towards it. Many times these pursuits seem like a trap. I'm contemplating on that but I still have doubts about doing more consistent work toward my human needs. Did any of you guys felt divided in your journey? Can you really "burn through karma" as Leo suggests without getting stuck in the process? Thanks!

You have to change this belief, start by stopping affirming that you are paranoid. That's not true. You can say for example that you HAD some paranoid thoughts. With the verb tense in the past. That can be useful in your recovery and more aligned with the truth. Unless you are having thoughts at this exact moment. There are two possible dimensions in which fear can manifest. In your feelings, and in your thinking. To heal your feelings, find a way to silence your mind (meditation) and turn your attention to the feeling of fear, anguish, or whatever feeling that may be present in your body. It can be clear or can be subtle, doesn't matter, do not rationalize about it. Just stay there with compassionate awareness, allowing and observing it for a period that is comfortable for you. You'll start to feel lighter after a while. To heal your thoughts, since you are already able to question the truth of these thoughts, you can, being kind to yourself, start reducing the impact it has on your actions. Recognizing that you can live and do whatever you want to do despite the threats. Take baby steps if necessary and take notes about your progress. That will make you improve on a regular basis. Find values like love, freedom, courage, or whatever you want to honor to support you in this process. I mean, it can be easier if you move on motivated for a higher purpose, compared to just wanting to "fix yourself". Make it all clear by writing. Be patient and consistent. Be loving and head up! You'll be fine and become a more powerful and resilient person after growing from it. Wish you the best!

I'll tell you an important thing: do you know what can be worse than being hated by someone? It is to be loved without knowing how to love back and how to love yourself. If you are suffering from the "NO", wait for the "YES" and you will see how terrible it can be. I'd like also to wake you up to the notion that this conversation is not a joke, this is no BS, and you can't keep playing the game of reinforcing negativity as if there would be no consequences. Nobody here can provide you with the exact formula to solve your problems. This whole community is about you finding it by yourself. I wish you comprehend and embrace it. Your capability, choice, and responsibility. About your complaint here, wouldn't suggest you approach 100 girls. But taking care of your heart and yourself. Pain is part of life, for everyone. Could you come to terms with that? Maybe just for a while, if the circumstances are unbearable, could you take a break? Look in other directions and with patience, collect the information you need.

@JonasVE12 Sure! I like how you suggested finding out and bringing up the emotional garbage. I just wonder about how to release it properly. Maybe using a meditation setting, a ritual, or a step-by-step process. I tried "releasing" during a few emotional burnouts. But it doesn't worked for me like an effective and complete therapeutic process. In theory, it seems very simple, but I wanted to dive deeper into how it literally happens to get more accuracy and motivation. Thanks for your attention!

@JonasVE12 @ll Ontology ll Do any of you guys recommend some specific content about this process of triggering/releasing?

I had lots of ups and downs in sexuality and romantic life. I came from a very traumatic background which I could overcome a good part. I've been into pick-up for a while, so I consider myself able o talk and connect to women. But I'm suffering a lot from anxiety, depression, insomnia, and addictions. This is why I decided to take a break from trying romantic relationships. I wanted to put myself in a better vibe before getting close to someone again, But I was also very needy and horny, to be honest. So I felt a strong impulse to make a few approaches and decided to bite the bullet. Even if I got rejected I think I could deal with that. But I ended up talking with a magical girl who was incredibly kind and opened. It somehow triggered a hardcore vulnerability that I couldn't handle and I just wanted to run away. She was so sweet. And I was desperate. Feeling so weird and unprepared. Unmasked. She kind of brought up this wound of not being able to feel comfortable with myself, and with her. The worst possible feelings of shame and guilt. It hurt like hell.

When you are with someone manipulative or hard to deal with, instead of reacting or trying to find the 'correct' response for their fucked up behavior, you can simply ask the question: "what is the purpose"? If you are not comfortable being yourself, ask (verbally if necessary) if you are supposed to behave differently. I mean, go straight to the truth about toxic interactions and you will change or destroy them.

Believe me, you are very young. Don't let this pressure fuck you up unnecessarily. Don't be obsessed with that. You are not supposed to have all the answers at this age. Girls usually correspond to the energy state you are. I suggest connecting more with what you love. And grow from that.

A regular coach/therapist can be good for you. I would suggest writing down your bigger values, intentions, and priorities with all possible (easy and hard) steps you can give towards them. Use your feelings to guide you through the methods and actions which look doable and coherent. As you are a sensitive person and a good therapist, you can probably do good research without and within yourself to find the real and adequate tools. But it should be constant and honest, not just mental masturbation. You probably failed in the past for being superficial, and not using your undeniable creativity in your favor. Please, be careful and challenge the negative beliefs you hold about yourself. We all have limitations, but you have to know what is really true about you and what is BS. Check it! Don't take for granted things like "I cannot do anything", that's a lie. And please, don't be harsh by judging yourself. Life can be complicated in many ways for many people. Although your situation doesn't look "normal", it is. By reading your text, I see that you have intelligence, imagination, and a good intention. This is A LOT.

Between a committed relationship and objectified sex, there is a huge and nuanced gap. It is not about choosing one or another. You have to find where both of you fit. I recommend clear and respectful communication about it when convenient. Don't be too attached about what to say or rationalize or define. Just be with her and be honest. This is how colorful friendships work. You become partners in life, in a healthy way. She will not be your girlfriend and neither a toy. This is a unique interaction that you guys are building together and should be good for both. If you resonate only with the sex aspect and don't tolerate her as a person. I strongly recommend you to drop it and move forward by yourself or someone else.

I recommend contemplating the idea of wanting or needing to get laid. Is that really true? Many times we brainwash with that when you are actually wanting recognition and appreciation from women and others. You get it by growing, loving yourself and your life, integrating and advancing in the many aspects of your path, which includes guess what? Spirituality.

Fasting works well. It is fast and gives you real results. There are many ways of fasting. With fruits, water, no water... whatever. Research about it, respect your body and mind, and go for that. It is uncomfortable. If you can combine with social media abstinence and cut other mundane shit while you are doing can be even better. See what is possible and works fine for you, respect your body and mind and go for that. even a small one-day dry fast can improve your energy and give you insights.

Great choice! Become one of those killers and come back to say if some anxiety can still bother you. Best bro!

I can rely on some aspects. I also deal with internal and external elements in my life that need to be managed/changed for better health. I know and use many therapeutical methods (talk therapy, breathwork, yoga, meditation) to compensate for that. But if the stress hits a certain point and becomes too much, I think that medication may be useful. I resisted medication A LOT and tried to meditate my way out of depression. But was the medication that helped me consistently during certain periods. If you are smart, medication will probably not have considerable downsides. Get the information about what you need, be aware to change the meds if necessary, and be serious about the treatment for the period that you and your doctor decided to apply it. Most important: find out in life what is aligned with your mental, physical and spiritual health and connect yourself to that more and more. If you don't have an environment in which you can connect, contribute and feel happy with other people, I highly recommend you to find it (church, temple, sports, art, hobbies). People talk about diet and meditation but really underestimate the psychological necessity of healthy and spontaneous relationships with other people.

Once I made 4/5 days. No entertainment. 2 days only fruits, 2 days fasting + meditation, yoga, and cold showers in the waterfalls. Amazing results. But see what works better for yourself. Ask yourself and define it. It is good to consult others but don't get trapped in other people's experiences or advice.

Recognize that bullying is limited content that happens in a limited context. Reality is a vast field that presents many many other contents and contexts. Maybe you created a self image and worldview based on the way you were treated during your bullying times. In order to change it, I recommend challenging this perspective. Look at the world and at yourself and take notes of everything that goes against whatever false and obsolete belief you hold. See that you and the world both changed and keep changing every second. Focus on the information that is better aligned with the new and fresh vision you want to obtain. For example, if the doorman was very respectful to you when he said "good morning", write it down. If some friend texted you because you are important to him/her, write it. Write and observe even the small things that align with the truth that you are worthy of love and respect. Do it as a game for a week or longer. If some bullying emotion or situation occurs, simply allow it to go away. Give it less and less attention and the pain will pass.