Hugo Oliveira

Interesting. I'm in a very similar situation. Part of me wants to improve by manipulating and "getting" and at the same time I feel like it is pointless and that I am exhausted. I feel afraid of letting go because I have some basic shit to solve. I'm doing lots of journaling to negotiate internally, connect and align with progress. It may be personal or spiritual or both... I don't know. I'm praying to god show me the way. Be OK with the process, identify your limits, and be loving towards yourself. We are on this together.

His name is Ciro Gomes and he seems exceptionally competent showing a deep understanding of whatever subject he is asked about. He also demonstrates a high level of integrity, open-mindedness, and love for his purpose of leading the nation instead of a hunger for power. Unfortunately, the country is drowned in SD blue and green wars, right and left, with two top-rated candidates: Bolsonaro and Lula. Both absolutely known for their lack of integrity. I'm very little aware and interested in politics. But this situation is very alarming to me. I feel like Ciro may have the capacity to really implement positive changes and explore our huge potential as a nation.

8 years ago I had a terrible psychedelic experience and my life became very hard. I'm not psychotic, but I have the feeling of being trapped in a kind of purgatory. I feel depressed and purposeless. I've thrown myself into lots of experiences by traveling, socializing, etc. Nothing gave me a sense of connection, clarity, and stability. I feel like fighting against reality. I moved heavens and hell to lift me up. I made tons of therapy, medication, and personal development techniques and tried psychedelics many times again. I recently looked for Ayahuasca, MDMA, and Iboga healers. But my requests just evaporated and I didn't hear back from the people I reached out to. I still believe in the healing power of psychedelics but I'm very unstable emotionally to give it a chance now. I often practice exercise, but I eat a lot of junk, drink coffee, and smoke. For a long time, I blamed these addictions for my emotional pain. But I think honestly that it is not the cause. I feel that I already made everything possible, including many 5 days of fasting retreats by myself. I lost a lot of hope by trying so many things. At this moment I have no willpower to make anything difficult in order to heal (like stop smoking). And I have no idea what is causing me such disconnection from life and enjoyment. I want to dissipate this darkness which I feel has a lot to do with the subconscious/energy/spiritual world. I just came across the idea of practicing Yoga consistently for some months. Do you guys agree with this idea as the only means I may have? Any specific method or suggestion? Any other ideas? Thanks!

In a real democracy, I think 4 years are enough for a president in good faith, to have the opportunity to shine his ideas and provide his contribution. Ciro explicitly presents a model in which there will not be reelections. While Lula after governing for more than a decade still wants to go back to "his" chair again and again. It shows who is presenting highly democratic ideals and who has the hunger for power. We have brilliant people who want the opportunity to be visionary leaders. But we are seeing the same candidates again for years. For years people here are voting for the "less evil" candidate to avoid STUPID people like Bolsonaro who just won because the country was destroyed by Lula's legacy. It is basic logic. If the country were going well, a jerk like Bolsonaro would never win. He just won by proposing to be the Christian military guy who would save us from the corruption we were drowned in. And now Lula wants to save us from him. That's a joke!

@Ulax It may be hard to find a clear sample in English. I think some notion of context would be necessary to get his messages.

@Leo Gura He and Dilma (who is his ally, deeply supported and controlled by him) alone, governed the country for 14 years without changing almost anything in the dysfunctional Brazilian infrastructure. He has a huge responsibility for the actual Brazilian economic crisis. One of the main sources of his popularity is the practice of compensatory public politics. Basically, he constructed huge propaganda based on low-quality social politics. He was in jail, condemned after being involved in multiple corruption scandals like many of his allies. He supported and provoked the election of Dilma Rousseff as a manipulative way to maintain his influence and control of power. Dilma is clearly an incompetent politician and a highly limited person cognitively. Through his charismatic personality, he is able to convey incoherent and limited ideas and even lies without losing support from the public. He doesn't demonstrate any enthusiasm, greatness, or competence in regard to governing the country. He seems to me like a manipulative guy desperate for power. Many of his electors today just don't want to have Bolsonaro again and Lula presents himself as salvation.

Maybe working as a freelancer may give you the freedom you need. There are many taboos about it, but freelancing can work very well. You can define how much you want to work, for whom, from where, and when. It can be challenging, but it is possible. What is your professional area?

What a simple and yet great discovery! I was not aware of these chemicals.

@Jannes What is that?

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right” - Henry Ford

"Significance" may be one of them.

I think nobody here can tell you the reason for your anxiety. But it seems curious someone saying that want to "be numb". Question if it is true for you or just a facade. We all have psychological and emotional needs, if you don't have these needs met, you can get sick, even if you are already sick, you can get worse. I've seen people who "just don't care" about their lives and their depression. But it has a cost. Begin by asking yourself what you really want and what you don't.

Sometimes it seems like something within you will sabotage your attempts to be superficial. Teaching you to act greater and seek what is really valuable. Therefore, I would also consider another lesson that is only pursuing women that YOU REALLY want to be with. Don't take for granted that you are already doing it. Before asking yourself "does she likes me?", ask yourself "do I like her?".

Have you considered applying to classes, retreats, sports, and things like that? Do you have the energy, time, and money to invest in these kinds of activities? For me, it would be the way. I lived for almost a year in a tiny touristic village here in Brazil. I learned to surf and met lots of people there.

Answering your question, I think this is a thing you can't control and you should accept and honor the way in which friends present themselves in your life. From another perspective, I think we all can present "neediness" if we are missing connections. If you want to strengthen yourself and your life by having significant allies, I recommend expanding your socialization and finding out these people. Do it if you resonate and if you have the energy available to put this work into practice.

Good topic! I've been contemplating it a lot recently. I think I'm deeply missing strong connections for years. I have many people who like me, that can offer companionship, fun and support but these people for some reason dont' fulfill my need for deep connection. Even my girlfriend with whom I have a lot of intimacy and love. I don't feel 100% at home in her presence. Yesterday a very close friend from childhood visited me. He is a super dumb person most of the time and we don't share the same values. But man, his presence was such medicine! We went through similar struggles in life and I feel like he totally understands and accepts me. Recently, I was developing this kind of deeper relationship with other people. But I got a bit frustrated with them disappearing for a while and coming back later as if nothing happened. I decided to set some boundaries. Like you said, "I don't like getting close to people and then leaving".

@Jodistrict Do you recommend Bufo as something more appropriate to clear trauma without having too much mindfuckery?

@Space Not sure if you watched, but in the video, he makes this clear distinction between "consciousness expansion" and psychedelic "medicine/therapy". He says that his focus is on the first, purposefully. I think both worlds intersect, but it is still good to have specific content for each one of these facets.

@Raze Thanks for mentioning!

I want o find an MDMA therapist as he did!

TNL offers good content, I made a live workshop with them. It can be good for people who are still going out of the "manipulative bubble". You can study their content, but take care and keep questioning. I don't think authenticity is an easy subject. But it is up to you how deep you want to go into this rabbit hole. The best content I found was: -Zam Perion (his book) -David Tian - Brian (Fearless man) You can listen to those guys. But again: don't get lost in theory! Go with what better resonates with you and keep growing.

Relax. Shit happens. Soon it all will vanish from your mind and you'll release the shame feelings. I don't recommend you become obsessed about getting the confidence to manage this kind of situation. You can just let them go. Instead, become more and more mindful that what you are doing is nothing bad or wrong. So for example, if you approach a 13-year-old girl by mistake or even a girl with her boyfriend. Just recognize that it can happen to anyone and you have no intentions to cause problems in anybody's life. Then, move on with no regret.

You are a man, she is a woman. I know it is easier said than done, but you already have an answer about the "missing" subject: it is HER. Culture and circumstances can make it feel wrong or unsuitable. But the truth is that you want to meet her. You can hide or deny it. But this is what you truly want. Check within yourself and be honest (I may be wrong). Maybe you want to know about her life, what such a graceful woman is enchanted by, the kind of books she reads, what she does for a living, and what these things reveal to you about her. Maybe discover what you guys have in common beyond the dogs. I'm not suggesting you a list of subjects for the conversation, even less making her a "job interview" (be careful). I'm suggesting you connect with your true intentions and make the conversations happen from there. I know it may feel terrifying as dead. But you have to make a choice. To give it a chance. If you keep talking about the dogs you'll feel frustrated again. Maybe never see her again. I'm not even suggesting asking her number or inviting her to a coffee someday (why not?). But allow your curiosity and desire to flow and call the shots. If you get vulnerable, allow it. If you get your feelings hurt, it will not kill you. Bite the bullet, be honest. You like her as a woman. Nothing wrong with it. I wish you the best!

One of the biggest BS I found out and people keep perpetuating is that women don't give a fuck about physical beauty. There is this false notion that man is only about confidence and bla bla bla. FAKE!! I observe lots of women being attracted to physical beauty and muscular bodies. This is not absolute, and maybe not the most important thing about masculine attractiveness, but it is real and part of the game. Let's be honest.

I Agree. I'm not judging, but it seems to me like an adolescent drama. I went through many like this. The point is that we sometimes make it so real and so important that we really feel entitled to be a hero and solve the shit for ourselves and others. But it can be a huge trap. What I would intuitively suggest (because I can't give advice), is to give it space and be patient. Be and act as an example by being loving and setting the necessary boundaries. Be happy and live your life. As we used to say in the army: words convince but example drags. Many times drama feels super sexy and we want to have a whole to affirm ourselves. But the most sophisticated and efficient posture may be just allowing things to evolve and resolve by themselves. Acting with no attachment and only when really necessary. It may be like a sacrifice at first, but later will be proud for being mature/wise and just letting go.