Amit

Currently most of the society is structured where there is patriarchy, so men think they're in a better position, and women despise them for that, and they feel exploited. But it's an natural desire in both of the genders to outdo others at deepest level, to the point that it has become more about who wins the war and not cooperating and looking into the hearts. Men feels it's the woman's responsibility of empathy, while women think men doesn't reciprocate it so why care, and it is becoming worse. The toxic PUAs and typical orange mentality worsens the situation. While female are also colluding to enhance such a polarity. The issue is with people stuck in their heads and not seeing the point of life. It's like the person cutting the same branch he is sitting on.

Solipsism has a negative connotation to it, but it seems so true in the context that, you can only try to interact with others but never truly know about what they are thinking if they don't speak it. Also, you have an only finite time to make it a good life, so you can't waste it on speculating about others. The issue comes when I'm being in a deeper relationship, in that if another person is absent, you have to just keep guessing about it, that's why it's preferred to have your partner near you, thus finding a fantastic wife is so important or just be alone. Being alone takes more. Better if you keep a partner who can forgive, who has a big picture perspective, who can see the deeper you and kiss your wounds, not just being selfish. Being selfish is the worst thing you can do in a relationship, but trying to be selfless, doesn't work either, it takes years of experience and observation with intentions to get it right.

I'm gradually becoming more conscious of being a consciousness prior to anything else, and seems like I'm getting out of materialistic paradigm finally. Thanks for giving your 1000$ comment for free? @DreamScape thanks bro

You can't transcend the human needs just like that. Being a feminine, you're naturally empathetic, and maybe you want to make them feel loved. Wanting a relationship is about need for intimacy and love, remember Maslow's hierarchy. Going through some of the same questions in my own life, you can try to go through the initial emotional suffering it takes, I know it's way more difficult but that's what it takes.

I was feeling victim for why people misunderstand me all the time, the problem was I didn't knew that they misunderstood me, they just felt repellent from me. Now I understand, they have a completely different world than me, and they interpret things from that pov, not what I am trying to convey, the more the difference, more they misubderstand... So it is very necessary to keep looking for feedback and not putting it all out there. Understanding them better, going into others shoes is an high skill, I never realised, I took empathy for sympathy lol. They basically try to come up why I said a certain thing, and if it's critical to them, most probably they take it as a conflict or why they would say that. Not realising my whole paradigm might he different. If I said two things at once, they will get confused and can map it to each other even when it's not, if they are afraid of you at some level. So better to make it easy for them by taking what mess can occur by something and making it easy to understand, and say less not more. More makes it complex, and most likely slip away.

Actually spiral dynamics is saying the same thing, but the problems is with the person who will see it not as it is, but the colored and manipulated according to his own perception and past experiences.

Till green, you have lower stages as the shadow self, you have been through them, yet you you don't accept your past self. In yellow, you integrate it for the first time.

Agree It's not a very stable lifestyle, but don't you see however we pretend to be intimate or deep relationships we are born alone and will die alone, in fact only the relationship with soul is that matter, you can do everything while being your soul always, this needs comprehensive integration and time management skills.

@remember didn't mean contradictions, still suppose there is an orange person now and then, now he is ever more connected with at least his friends and family. So he does a job, and pushes for productivity while at office, but hangs out and smoke weed with his green hippy friends, and shares their perspective. He also have family values and try to follow on them like a blue, and then he comes in his cave and zooms out, trying to comprehend the big picture of life and systems and how he fits in, like a yellow. And then he meditate, cares about feminine, children, animals does spiritual work like a turquoise. Now imagine having people mixing and matching according to whatever they learned and connected from internet. You just need to have a question and you can find on internet so much cool information, knowledge wisdom. So though it doesn't contradict with sd, but makes the sd outdated in defining stages of growth, and demand for a better rich model. There is no contradiction, basic truths are still the same. But models can be updated.

@remember sd was published in 1995, and so many things has changed since, like internet has taken over and ever faster exchange of ideas have been taking place and it has kinda mixed all these stages, and completely new paradigms has imerged. I won't say it's completely outdated, but to a certain extent it's not that useful in such different grounds of today. Agree Shadow work is still relevant and can take sd map closer to the territory.

It'll be too overwhelming to do in public but would love to go with such sharing if it's a private scenario

@remember I'm not throwing it away, but when I can see the reality for what it is, I don't need maps to look into. But I agree maps are helpful to reflect upon, as they are based on years of research and multi-perspectival, gives us a bigger picture.

All the comments are very profound here. But seems like I don't need a model anymore after awakening to the truth of consciousness, some time ago. but I want to have the crystal clear understanding of all of the important models and how they interrelate. The models are scaffoldings to simplify the complexity of reality to those who are not yet awakened to the truth. Seems like we are already on the other side of it, and now analyzing it for more clarity.

Lord Shiva blesses everyone who goes for his help. he never discriminates between good and bad humans, for him, he knows the human nature so thoroughly. His map of reality is so crystal clear it looks like reality itself. For him everyone is equal, they are all parts of him. In them, he finds himself. His wife is also a part of himself, he gives himself the birth, he is the mother, Nurturer to his creations and destroyer when it becomes baggage. he is it, he lives inside his creation.

After I am submerged in it for some time, It starts making me full. I start slipping into the unconscious patterns of thoughts and emotions arise simultaneously. Now with this awareness, I can instantly switch to journaling mode. Being full makes me crave for some happy chemicals, it's what body needs. So there are many ways to get that, but the new way, which I am unconsciously resistant to is to be in Satsang. Satsang cuts the rope of desires and makes you start anew. If you are aware of the ego, It can build into the huge momentum and flow in not so much time. That's where having a better consciousness comes handy. By being aware is to not fall into traps, It's to keep moving towards your goal. It's what makes you disciplined, self-control gives you this huge force and you're successful in no time. but it's hard not to fall into traps if you are not conscious, so be loving towards yourself. even if it's the worst emotion, you can come out and start again and that will always be a new day. It's not a circle, it's spiral. and you move on it back and forth, but more aware you are and it moves towards something... still from a big picture, it doesn't matter... but relatively life is enjoyable.

Being in the higher consciousness state and being more mindful are the different words for the same thing. In this state, you are aware of both the big picture as well as the mix you're in currently. It gives you an eveolved perspective. You're just not suffering because of normal focusing in detail, and getting stuck it in. As soon as you suffer you're aware that you're in this mess and can come out as soon as you decide to the absolute state. The non dual state of peace makes you heal, releases your tensions, and then you can again enter into the mess from a completely different and better angle to deal with it. So taking pauses when you are stressed and escape into the absolute God state, devotion state whatever it may be gives your subconscious the time to solve the challange. So if you get it, no challange is too big... It's just a matter of time if you already have a dream to realise.... Combined with high self esteem makes it the most potents of force in the world ?.

I was contemplating about what's the worst obstruction I face when taking a challange. I was doing this assignment given to me by interviewer and I found to be stressing myself out of the game. Now when I was trying to find out where is this coming from, I clearly see the time when I was preparing for an engineering entrance exam, and from a point of successfully accomplishing something, I kept myself bringing down and cleared the exam in second attempt while I was a good student and could have cleared it in first attempt itself. I find this pattern of getting the initial inspiration by first beating myself to work. And then when I am at this flow state, which is joyous, I tend to go down and down till I feel the regret again and then had to beat my self up, this has been a constant. But working on myself had now brought me to this point, that my self esteem is high to the point that I am mindful of it and evading it. But the inner gremlins still giving me some bad time, which I hope to transcend.

मैं शंकर का वह क्रोधानल कर सकता जगती क्षार-क्षार। डमरू की वह प्रलय-ध्वनि हूं जिसमें नचता भीषण संहार। रणचण्डी की अतृप्त प्यास, मैं दुर्गा का उन्मत्त हास। मैं यम की प्रलयंकर पुकार, जलते मरघट का धुआंधारय। फिर अन्तरतम की ज्वाला से, जगती में आग लगा दूं मैं। यदि धधक उठे जल, थल, अम्बर, जड़, चेतन तो कैसा विस्मय? हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैं आदि पुरुष, निर्भयता का वरदान लिए आया भू पर। पय पीकर सब मरते आए, मैं अमर हुआ लो विष पी कर। अधरों की प्यास बुझाई है, पी कर मैंने वह आग प्रखर। हो जाती दुनिया भस्मसात्, जिसको पल भर में ही छूकर। भय से व्याकुल फिर दुनिया ने प्रारंभ किया मेरा पूजन। मैं नर, नारायण, नीलकंठ बन गया न इस में कुछ संशय। हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैं अखिल विश्व का गुरु महान्, देता विद्या का अमरदान। मैंने दिखलाया मुक्ति-मार्ग, मैंने सिखलाया ब्रह्मज्ञान। मेरे वेदों का ज्ञान अमर, मेरे वेदों की ज्योति प्रखर। मानव के मन का अंधकार, क्या कभी सामने सका ठहर? मेरा स्वर नभ में घहर-घहर, सागर के जल में छहर-छहर। इस कोने से उस कोने तक, कर सकता जगती सौरभमय। हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैं तेज पुंज, तमलीन जगत में फैलाया मैंने प्रकाश। जगती का रच करके विनाश, कब चाहा है निज का विकास? शरणागत की रक्षा की है, मैंने अपना जीवन दे कर। विश्वास नहीं यदि आता तो साक्षी है यह इतिहास अमर। यदि आज देहली के खण्डहर, सदियों की निद्रा से जगकर। गुंजार उठे उंचे स्वर से 'हिन्दू की जय' तो क्या विस्मय? हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! दुनिया के वीराने पथ पर जब-जब नर ने खाई ठोकर। दो आंसू शेष बचा पाया जब-जब मानव सब कुछ खोकर। मैं आया तभी द्रवित हो कर, मैं आया ज्ञानदीप ले कर। भूला-भटका मानव पथ पर ‍चल निकला सोते से जग कर। पथ के आवर्तों से थक कर, जो बैठ गया आधे पथ पर। उस नर को राह दिखाना ही मेरा सदैव का दृढ़ निश्चय। हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैंने छाती का लहू पिला पाले विदेश के क्षुधित लाल। मुझ को मानव में भेद नहीं, मेरा अंतस्थल वर विशाल। जग के ठुकराए लोगों को, लो मेरे घर का खुला द्वार। अपना सब कुछ लुटा चुका, फिर भी अक्षय है धनागार। मेरा हीरा पाकर ज्योतित परकीयों का वह राजमुकुट। यदि इन चरणों पर झुक जाए कल वह किरीट तो क्या विस्मय? हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैं ‍वीर पुत्र, मेरी जननी के जगती में जौहर अपार। अकबर के पुत्रों से पूछो, क्या याद उन्हें मीना बाजार? क्या याद उन्हें चित्तौड़ दुर्ग में जलने वाला आग प्रखर? जब हाय सहस्रों माताएं, तिल-तिल जलकर हो गईं अमर। वह बुझने वाली आग नहीं, रग-रग में उसे समाए हूं। यदि कभी अचानक फूट पड़े विप्लव लेकर तो क्या विस्मय? हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! होकर स्वतंत्र मैंने कब चाहा है कर लूं जग को गुलाम? मैंने तो सदा सिखाया करना अपने मन को गुलाम। गोपाल-राम के नामों पर कब मैंने अत्याचार किए? कब दुनिया को हिन्दू करने घर-घर में नरसंहार किए? कब बतलाए काबुल में जा कर कितनी मस्जिद तोड़ीं? भूभाग नहीं, शत-शत मानव के हृदय जीतने का निश्चय। हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय! मैं एक बिंदु, परिपूर्ण सिन्धु है यह मेरा हिन्दू समाज। मेरा-इसका संबंध अमर, मैं व्यक्ति और यह है समाज। इससे मैंने पाया तन-मन, इससे मैंने पाया जीवन। मेरा तो बस कर्तव्य यही, कर दूं सब कुछ इसके अर्पण। मैं तो समाज की थाती हूं, मैं तो समाज का हूं सेवक। मैं तो समष्टि के लिए व्यष्टि का कर सकता बलिदान अभय। हिन्दू तन-मन, हिन्दू जीवन, रग-रग हिन्दू मेरा परिचय!

@Raphael exactly and ending up feeling more miserable as other's ego is such an powerful animalistic force, which you can't change from an ego's survival perspective. For real change to happen, one must focus on itself and only itself... This is the only way you can change others, not by trying to force them into change... Let those huge egos suffer till death, they need that... Some of them don't need to be said anything, they will just change... So only working on oneself is the way..

I get angry with my own judgement of myself as other. Why I try to help people, why I try to make world a better place... No, not because I am a good person, but for survival. It's an survival trick to earn browny points from others by helping , to make a network such that I survive. If I don't do that my fear cripple up and make me unstable, only God saves me then. God is what we are... God is never to be forgotten, God is true love, even the romantic. Survival always takes me to the Shittiest of situations... Living far from the population, might make it easier to evade it, but if you're in the middle of it, you are immersed into it. But God want you to be the part of it, being in it and yet desire God. Why God does that is because he wants to see it from every angle, every possibility, that's why it goes infinite, all the manifestations comes true in the end.

I read this very abusive comment on twitter, and I felt angry all of a sudden, then I tried to notice the thoughts, this filthy person has triggered some of my fears. I was about to make an angry threatening comment, but I stopped, I remembered the past realisations I had, it will be to get into this toxic loop of back and forth argument, and getting into his shitty mind, while he might grow a bit or not, but I will definitely lose a lot. Also, might end up a lot more angry, disgusted. So just let it go, let him accumulate karma, the God is going to make him suffer, and looks like God wants me to stop to help him by arguing with him. Better if I just not act out of my natural tendency but see it more objectively, and keep sharping skills on my work. Thank god for saving me. Free me from the slavery of my own brain, and make me your servant.

That'll judging... For God, everyone is a part of him, and same. Trump is a manifestation of the balance and justice, God wished for.

One guy asked me... Why the world is so unfair, why there is so much prejudice, hypocrisy even on Leo's blog. Why we can't observe without a judgement, and all the negative judgement for me, why so unfair? He sounded very much like joker to me, who is drowning in his victimness not realising he is only victim of his own victimhood, and such people God keeps in the world for his destruction purposes. Me: The more you feel like that, and it's true, world is full of bullshit, human has limited itself to a crap. The problem is he thinks everyone else a crap but himself. So people who are closest to God feel like they are being treated worst, people are giving into their natural desires, and it is taking them into the hell. That's why God has made the heaven for people like you, you are there for a reason, for God, for true you, so recognize yourself. Don't fall in the trap of ego, it will eventually die after some time, so kill it now, don't wait me to kill it. Commit suicide, you will find that the nature, the desires I have given to you, I was in those people as maya. I was the whole time the ego which dies, everything dies only I remain, I and you are the same.

So this guy asked me, what if she keeps projecting on me her past experiencing, confusing us because of our similarity of an idea, yet not able to make finer distinctions. Me: you suffer because you don't yet see the God playing here with you both. God wants to pull you towards it, and her too. Let it be, just see it as it is happening. Just see the God manifesting things is your life, you could have never imagined. So never try for God, he knows everything about you, he will come to you when it's time, right now he wants to manifest the game. He also gave you freedom of will to see his own self very clearly, from so many perspectives. So I advice you to let her grow, not try to possess her, but move towards your ultimate goal.

I had the self image of a victim, who has been judged, given less than it desrved, my ego always said that I'm the best but the problematic is the people and surroundings. It was the separation from others, which resulted in constant struggles, me fighting with myself.. That's what suffering is. The pain of cutting your finger is you, so nothing is right or wrong. Whatever is is, but it's not the ego. Ego is self image, it might have the understanding of you on a conceptual level, but it's not yet dissoved, it's part of you, yet not you. It's a manifestation of you. What if you are not ego and a part of you(another's ego) fights you, you fight, you lose, you win, but it's still you, not the ego. It's so many manifestations of you in so many forms tangible or intangible.