gleb

I'm a pretty sensitive dude. I'm afraid this will affect my long term relationships with women since I have trouble managing strong emotions moment by moment. EX. I deal with alot of work stress, am moving across the country in 2 weeks and trying to maintain a relationship with a high quality girl. It sucks, I'm struggling to maintain a cool, stable internal environment. I had a very stressful point yesterday and shared it with her. I asked her to lay down with me so I could decompress and we started talking about our long distance situation. Eventually, we both started to cry about it with each other. I feel like I've made a terrible mistake though. I feel castrated and weak that I let her see this struggling side of myself. How can I improve or reframe my reality here? Any anecdotes and experience that might help here?

This topic has been one of my main contemplations for years. So many archetypes and nuance. Some key characteristics I can share as I walk to the gym: Purpose driven. Non-reactive when appropriate. Enough emotional reasoning to decide when to ignore the pull and when to submit to feelings. Tip of the iceberg. So many offshoots to this law. Honest and authentic. Charm stems directly out of this. Charm can effectively be called lying with the intention of being caught. Strength - physical and mental. No real reason to be weak in either category. More. Masculinity often defines itself in the context of a group. How you interact with other men and women shapes your brand of masculinity All these peak masculine traits are sharpened by learning from other good men. Almost impossible to polish without positive role models or conscious action. Spending time with women helps a man understand yin and rounds out the edges. Also helps you get laid.

Lmao Leo

I find most energy work form is visualization based. So if you want to breathe into your balls and imagine the energy pouring like a fountain out of your head that may help. Channeling via exercise seems to be the most consistent way of getting the energy out for me.

Kind of a shocking synchronicity that you mentioned fasting. I’m a bodybuilder and have been stuffing my face for close to a year. Took a ~30 hour fast this weekend and will be exploring more closely in the coming months.

@Leo Gura Come on man. Read that sentence back.

Yo, I typically lurk and visit this forum every now and again to kiss the feet of our cult leader (hi Leo ) but today I am am breaking a several year long streak of silence to chat about something near and dear to my development, especially regarding women and dating: Semen Retention. DISCLAIMER: I am not dogmatic about SR, think the entire "nofap" community is a little ridiculous and under baked, and don't live by a creed regarding this. Porn and jerking is obviously not good or bad as with any activity. I don't view myself in negative light when I bust to a porn video and you probably shouldn't either. IDGAF what Actualized's community groupthink is on this either, though the consensus seems to be split. I've gone through periods of deep abstinence and periods of over release. At the moment, I am moving from a period of moderate release/porn consumption to one of soft abstinence (have a consistent girl, but don't release every time) and as per usual I have some PERSONAL observations and benefits that many folks shrug off as a placebo. However, I really don't buy it. 1st: PORN: There may or may not be science to support the benefits that one gleans from abstaining from porn and I don't want to get into piecing apart the studies. The only logical vein I entertain regarding the "porn and jerk bad" ideology is the principle of overstimulation and what's called the "coolidge effect". This makes sense to me. I can actually feel the horsepower in my mind and senses go down a gear if I have a jerk session that involves multiple videos, edging, etc. I believe and support the super stimulus label that porn gets. I remember having over a years worth of abstinence and returning to a video and it genuinely felt like I took a substance. My pulse was outrageously high, excessive salivation and euphoria, flushing, was on the verge of cumming my pants in literal seconds. Through the FLOOD of overstimulation, I had an insight that crystalized in me the idea that porn is likely far more powerful of a stimulus than we think - especially since most red blooded males have had a consistent HD stream of it for several years. How can you know/remember what it felt before you nuked yourself with videos of outrageously attractive women in perfect lighting getting dicked down? Toss some novelty into the mix and a fleshlight and you've in essence cross-faded yourself without ingesting anything. 2nd: Just jerking/ real sex? All I have is personal experience for this. Internally I felt a hair sharper, noticed myself caring and feeling more sensitive to my girlfriend's desires at the time, possibly a bump in energy, harder erections, etc. This level never felt much different from what the fapstronauts call the PMO state, but I definitely can attest to feeling less mentally dented after release than when I did in conjunction with pornography. I could see this all the changes here being a placebo or related to the return of baseline sensitivity. 3rd: Holding that nut IN Here is where things get esoteric and beyond explanation. Bear with me as alot of these are approximations of the changes occurring during the mentioned time frames. FOR ME with years of reliability: 1st week. There is a noticeable spike in energy and horniness. My shy personality (which usually takes a dash of willpower to overcome when I am consistently releasing) starts to slowly evaporate down to about 20% of its usual strength. My chronic fatigue starts to fade. 2nd week. Genuinely feels like I have unlocked access to key words, phrasing, and intuition directly relating to seducing girls. I just have it. The "state" feels mostly permanent. I've always had intuition to the energetic systems in my body and let me tell you that it feels like energetic whips connected to my kidney start flailing and crossing somewhere in the solar plexus region around this time. Sometimes its very strong, sometimes I don't detect it. I can feel a certain "charge" permeating my entire body. I describe it as feeling like a loaded gun. Body and face posture change without explanation or conscious regulating. 3rd week. Look dude, the female attraction thing guys are reporting is REAL PHENOMENON. How exactly it works is beyond comprehension and I have tried to look at it from every angle. It just happens. All I know is that around this time girls are "dropping hankies" left and right and I am so happy to pick them up with a confidence that is significantly pronounced. Personality starts to dominate social situations more frequently. Quiet reserve of energy magnifies and focus at work and gym is 15-20% better. More euphoria from everyday activities and sensitivity to music. I am a metal head and Megadeth is especially sexy during this time :). Anger and frustration can come in here too. Difficulty regulating emotions sometimes if they start to turn negative. Insights considerably amplify. Different patterns of thinking emerge. 4th week beyond: Consistency in the above that remains for several months. Features actually start to change - a weird sheen started forming on exterior of my skin. My mother made a comment on it back in college asking what I had been doing to my skin when I was on a 90+ day streak. Hadn't done jack fellas. Law of attraction accelerates and coincidences become more frequent. Closing thoughts: 3+ weeks of holding it in - just recently had a trip to Vegas on business and got 3 lays in 3 days without hunting. One of them was a 41 year old cutie from Miami (I'm 25). One was a hippie girl from Oregon with hairy arm pits. One was an Egyptian girl that lost 21,000 gambling in one night. But I also got a number in the gym after busting 3 times over the weekend with a longer term girlfriend so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have always had decent natural game but I don't practice. I'm an average looking dude that lifts and has a nice vocabulary and intuition. Something changes on SR man. It all just clicks. I can read her like a book. The sensitivity gain tunes me into every one of her gorgeous movements, what she says without saying it, where her body is positioned, etc. Its beautiful and its too consistent for me to believe that it's simply me reacting to my beliefs about the practice. There's a definite energetic shift that assists and extends beyond seduction. I encourage all dudes to try it for at least 4 weeks. See if your success in dating and relationships changes. The neediness to release or "get a girl" fades after the 1st week (at least for me). If it doesn't, fap away! Happy to answer any questions! I've been on and off practicing for nearly a decade now.

Hey ya'll, I need a set of fresh eyes on this topic. No, I have not watched the How to Be Authentic video yet. I'm trying to contemplate here but I can't wrap my head around this confounding conclusion. Any advice? If we could keep the metaphysical explanations to a fundamental level I would appreciate it. I can't just zen-mode my way into understanding just yet. Recently, when I reach a moment of deep emotional release the theme of authenticity keeps coming up through the anguish. I feel like a faker in many regards. I feel like I don’t know how to act based on truth, or siphon out my authentic self through the non-stop stream of consciousness. What would I truly do in this situation? Where would I earnestly lead myself, professionally speaking? What would the real me say in this social situation? How is one supposed to differentiate the bullshit from the true? The argument of nature vs. nurture comes to mind here. The way people act socially seems to be taken directly from their environment and assimilated internally, only to be regurgitated when a particular social pattern calls for it. How else would you know to say anything at all? The only reference point you have is what you have encountered before, right? This isn't authentic because it isn't pulling from an original source, correct? Another foil in following this “just be your[authentic]self” reasoning is that, what if my authentic desire is wholly unethical? What if I want to kiss that chick I just met without asking her? What if I want to gorge myself on doughnuts and bust a nut to pornography from dawn until dusk? What if I want to dropkick my friend in the face for publicly ridiculing me? I don’t think acting on these impulses would do me any good in anything but the short term and it especially wouldn’t be good for the party opposite to me. But isn’t the antithesis of authenticity to suppress these desires? This is what I cannot wrap my head around. Authenticity as most people including myself define it seems to be inherently unethical. If my natural impulses are “authentic” because they are really what I would like to do, then most situations would end up with me hurting others and myself reaping benefit. Even the situations with me being selfless still have a tinge of self-service. I want to look good in this other person’s eyes so I can have an ally etc. How can I be my authentic self without being unethical? Thanks in advance.

@BestSelf Default Mode Network

@lmfao I was completely skeptical until I got my solar plexus, heart, and throat chakra opened. It was as close to magic as I have experienced. I was completely sober but felt like I was on a tiny amount of mushrooms with energy surging through my abdomen. The woman who did it didn't evem touch me, amazingly.

What's up everybody, Recently I had an energy work experience that blew my mind and shook my belief systems. I have an inclination toward these radical facets of life and enjoy reading about various spiritual topics but I didn't realize how close minded I was until a woman helped me open 3 of my chakras without physically touching me. This woman, who has a PhD in Psychology, also spoke with me about the existence of spiritual realms and spirit guides and while we didn't go too in depth, she did warn me that after experiences like chakra work and psychedelics people tend to have an increased sensitivity to their presence. She gave me a brief outline on how to handle experiencing "entities" and made it very clear to not have them physically touch me and so on and so forth. Talking with someone in person about topics like these is vastly different than online chats and to have them induce am entirely different state of consciousness without me consuming a substance has shook me substantially. After this, her yarn spinnings about spirits doesn't seem to far fetched. Psychedelics are my go tos for work like this, but there is still that underlying belief that it's a drug induced experience and not necessarily "valid". Energy work was nothing short of mystical. I couldn't believe what was happening in the moment and I left her office in pure bewilderment. With that being said, my day to day life has been affected by this change in view point. This kind of stuff -especially entities- scare the bejesus out of me. It's a part of life that doesn't make logical sense and the experts on it are few and far between it seems. A kind of underlying paranoia plauges me when I try to go to sleep at night and I shit you not I am aware of very subtle changes in my environment when I am alone. Especially in deep meditation, I get rather fearful of what could happen to me with regards to these alternate realms and I don't want to accidently slip into a random dimension and have my soul raped by a demon or something like that. I've had a few nights of insomnia from this and earnestly wonder whether or not I've gone mad. Simply talking like this is enough for me start pondering the possibility of mental illness like schizophrenia. I'm not quite sure what to do and any advice would very appreciated. Thanks!

@electroBeam It depends what happens during the trip. Awareness is higher for a few weeks and then wanes. The wane is variable on how hardcore your practice is. Usually, It's more of a nudge in the "right" direction than it is a permanent change for me. Meditation and yoga are akin to micro nudges over a long period time while psychedelics are an dramatic overhaul that require processing time and practice to stay on track. However! I will say my first experience with a psychedelic was so radical that my baseline awareness rose forever. I had no idea what I was getting into at the time

@Crazy_Monkey_Brain Just do it - it's the only way. Start with shorter times and work your way up over months. Try downloading HabitShare and marking everyday that you do it with an accountability partner. It helps. Good luck my dude!

@Outer Those book lists made me nut. I had no idea Jordan Peterson even had a website. Great post!

@Vipassana It's been a few years since I've messed around with edibles but I definitely went to another realm the last time I ate one. I had visions of / embodied a brick in a wall during the Roman Empire and felt like the house I was in was the only place I had ever been. Can't recall much else outside my X-girlfriend (who also ate devil brownie) asking me if we were going to be alright. Lol. Edibles seem to be a "cleaner" trip than smoked cannabis. Less cloudiness and more lucidity. I would venture to say that edible cannabis is more psychedelic than people give it credit for in my experience - but I don't think it can effectively be used for consciousness work. Too wonky and spaced out. Nothing really sticks. However, if you are looking for some bat-shit mystical experience, they might be a quality candidate.