SmartFixer_OceanJjb

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Everything posted by SmartFixer_OceanJjb

  1. @Ann Brown I thank you for sharing your experience. That's right; car accident can happen . . . Life . . .
  2. @Ayla I've been wanting to let it go. I searched "sedona practice to relieve old patterns" in YouTube but didn't quite hit the right videos. Could you show me which one?
  3. thank you for telling me that my stories are sloppy. I understood now. Another thing is that, this "getting old" stories are not accepted in younger people. The 'sense' dont quite come real to them, which I understand. I need to look for some space where I feel comfortable writing my stories and concerns. I thank you for your honest comments.
  4. @abrakamowse Yup we are wiser, muhahaha . . . . Actually nope. I aint wise. If I were wise, I would know what's right thing to do and I must be doing it. But I don't. I'm confused & lost with this old age. Therefore, I'm not wise. I'm dumb. I got to start from knowing myself & being brutally honest to myself. <-- I got this right, I guess. Thanks for your reply tho.
  5. !!!!!! "You should genuinely feel like you can go on, not just saying you must go on." <-- This is Darn Hard for me!! The "grateful journal" thing . . I've been doing it for 2+ weeks and . . . I don't know . . . I think I got a little tired of it, but better stick to it. Yes I will re-start today. I don't know my "happiness" factor. I really don't know. Yes I have a roof when rained. I got food in fridge. I got 1st world problem. Do you know your "happiness factor"? . . . if you don't mind. Thanks for your reply.
  6. @Argue You are right --> I got to stop negative self-talk. I understand it logically, but psychologically I'm somewhat conditioned to it due to my upbringing -- I'd been depressed growing up. That's why the character will come with me all the way to my death. That's what I understood talking to my counselor. So I Reeeally try to change my psyche. I need to Really work on it. I got a journal to write: today's victories, what I learned today, how I loved myself today, how I love/give today, what I was grateful for, etc... I've been doing it for 2+ weeks and . . I guess I got tired. oh no . . Yup I got audiobook for some of books . . which cost $$. Thank you for your reminder! I just keep playing it then. I thank you for your effort writing the reply. Sincerely.
  7. @abrakamowse I thank you for trying to make me feel better. You must be a nice person. However . . I don't know . . anyway we are waaay older than most of people here. I accept the fact as-is. muhahahaha.
  8. @Ayla When I was just 40, I was fine, busy working. You got panic attack . . . That's hard. Thanks for sharing your background. Yes I trust you. I got to be mindful -- Need to be present. I understand. But my husband will die sooner than me. Due to my job (I'm not going to specify here), I know how people decline. I just saw too many. It's a loooong exhausting process for care-giver. I have no kids, no family. I'm introvert. Expecting the days that I got to take care of husband . . expecting that I'll be dying by myself . . Those days are coming for sure. Just expecting those gloomy days don't get me any solution. But if I don't think about it and if those days came suddenly, I'll be depressed Real bad. So I guess, now, I'm training my psyche for coming gloomy days. And get depressed. Sounds pretty stupid of me. So, at least, I better save some money. Then, I should get a job. But the motivation is very weak: I need to get a job to prepare for coming gloomy days. I need to be happy at this moment. <-- I understand logically, but psychologically? spiritually? I can't get the stage yet. I need some reset button in my psyche. Sorry for my another long sloppy English. Again, thank you for your comment.
  9. @TheFrown You are right --> I got to keep on moving. Sometimes even sunshine is too much for me. but you are right. I got to keep on moving. Thanks for your reminder!
  10. Hi! I was going to write almost same kinda thing. I lost my motivation to go on. I just wanted to tell you that you are not the only one in the situation. Sincerely.