Butters

All the answers are within, so what's the point of wasting billions on space travel? Thoughts?

Not sure how I feel about this...

First and foremost: I've been making fantastic progress over the past few years. If you are doing personal development and are coming from an unhappy place, just know it takes time and is absolutely worth it. Over these past few years, my baseline happiness has seriously increased and in certain areas the best of my todays really are the worst of my tomorrows. That being said, I still seem to follow a swinging pattern. Earlier this week I had some amazing insights that grounded me into my life purpose even deeper than before. Thought and action came together beautifully, whereas usually I'm stuck in thinking. I was following my heart and my balls and it felt fantastic. Really Butters? Tell us more. I wasn't living for myself alright. I woke up thinking: what can I do to best serve the world today? For these last two days I can really feel regression. Not being aligned as much, and my purpose reads like WORDS but earlier this week I could FEEL it, more than just words. I'll continue to work on my shit, but wonder if there's a way to maintain peak states. Or we not supposed to do that as humans? We supposed to continue suffering?

I like that man, thanks for sharing. Maybe I'll start treating the weekend like a cut off point like that. Being self-employed I need that structure, but at the same time can't stand structure.

Great energy and I like your hoodie.

I'm sorry to hear that you get depressed over those things. I guess there's no real way to optimize every second in the day, and even if you did, you'd have no time to stop and smell the flowers because you're always working towards something, but that something never comes. Try to find your life purpose, what really makes you tick? What is it about doing new things that excites you? You won't get your entire life purpose on paper in one sitting, but slowly starting to do more of what makes you happy each day will make you happy, and then it really won't matter so much about reading or journaling on the bus.

Yeah very similar to some of my experiences. On my last shroom trip I realized that life is a joke, don't take it too seriously, but never ridicule yourself. Even distracting yourself with thoughts or video games or whatever, is a ridiculization of the self. There's a balance, and a certain responsibility that comes with being an adult human being. In a way, you are always carrying the child inside you around, so you need a good spine. I've always ridiculed adulthood, but there's real beauty to be found in being an adult and balancing the child and the grown up inside of you.

This was about 6 weeks ago but forgot to post it here sooner. Context Lately I've been moving more and more into stage green with my values and the way I feel into the world. Stage green is not a tree hugging airy fairy phase where you become vegan and hate conservatives on Twitter (that's what I always thought it was). Instead, for me personally, it's a stage where I follow my heart directly, meaning authentic values. It's way manlier and more mature than prior stages. I've taken mushrooms a while back and more recently done MDMA a few times. With the way I currently stand in life, I felt ready to try another psychedelic; 2cb. Dosing I took half a pill on the first day, but after about 3 hours took the other half. This to me was not a trip dose. The next day I took a full pill, which also wasn't a trip dose. I really wanted to go further deepening my consciousness so on day 3 I took 2 pills. This was a full trip dose. 1 pill = 20mg and I'm a 6"4 heavy guy so dosage may differ for you. Starting with half a pill and feeling the creativity without actually tripping was a great way for me to test this substance. Tripping The first 2 doses made me present, enjoy music and gave me great insights into my life. Most notable about radical honesty like Leo talked about. Also gave me some guidance in my life personally that I won't share here. Day 3 (trip dose) went way different. I became conscious that I am everything. Caressing a wooden chair felt like caressing myself. This of course felt absolutely orgasmic. Sounds like a freaky trip experience but the concequences of this are radical as fuck, and I realized that right away. The lessons Leo has shared sure helped me understand better what happened. But in spite of that, my ego fought. Oh did it fight. Me not being me but being everything is not just scary to the ego, it's deadly. It means that everything was a lie. All wrong. I'm not me. Uh oh! I finally understood every lesson Leo has taught about ego. I understand what ego is now, I did not before. Obviously, because the ego cannot understand itself. I could type for hours but Leo has already said it all in his videos. During the peak (1.5hrs or so) I kept switching between ego defense and surrender to the experience. I've seen glimpses of enlightenment: orgasmic feeling, melting with reality, familiarity in everything, but my ego was too strong to fully surrender. During this ego defense (fear), I realized that the ego constantly wants to compare. Compare this experience to "normal", compare some situation to the "ideal" situation. Compare today to yesterday, compare this white car to other white cars from memory etc. That's how it constructs reality, in a way to keep me (biological organism) alive. Comparing to XTC I've used MDMA a bunch of times recently, which has really helped me deal with some childhood traumas. MDMA and 2cb are different. The latter is a psychedelic, MDMA is not. Molly made me very honest, happy and warm,but it's no threat to the ego. Also 2cb has more love and respect for future me so I make plans for the next day and sleep on time. Molly just makes me wanna stay up all night and cancel work the next day ? Comparing to shrooms I've only tripped on shrooms once and I know shroom trips differ. But in my case I had sort of a dream with a spirit guide. Unlike 2cb, where I was so damn present and conscious that I became everything in the room. My 2cb trip was way scarier, but way more profound. Tips & interpretations: • the ego is not this negative bad thing, you need it in order to help others and yourself. • the next day I noticed a reduction in ego defense in many small ways. Nice! • only take psychedelics when you feel ready. Reality is absolutely not what you think, you ready for that? • trip on an empty stomach but don't eat during your trip. Reality eating itself was a little too freaky for me ? • your trip is inescapable so ride that wave.

Don't you get this? hahahahaha For you to exist is an absolute impossibility. FOR ANY OF THIS TO EXIST IS AN ABSOLUTE IMPOSSIBILITY! you think you are this ball of flesh, meat and memories that exists and then you die and you stop existing? Hahahahaahahaha, that's the funniest joke ever! Don't you remember that You created all this? You created you. You created this dream. And now you call this reality. Hahahahahaaha What if you could be 1% more in touch with You? What is, is. Thinking otherwise is complete absurdity, and fucking hilarious.

So am I on the right track with this whole enlightenment bullshit? Because I feel like I'm going insane I mean I felt pretty fantastic, like never before, and relieved, just now that I think about it I feel insane lol

Yesterday I got so high, then there were these creatures. These things are tiny and they make jokes. Everything they say is a funny joke, and is somehow linked to all of reality. So basically my entire existence is one of their jokes. These creatures are super familiar, and I remember them from early childhood. They speak in a nonsensical language, mostly in jokes. They know 2 emotions: sadness and love. Both are extremely pure versions of the emotion, nothing like normal adult sadness or love. They're very pure creatures. It's hard to explain, but whenever something sad happens, they immediately follow it up with one of their ultra funny jokes and then my state is completely reset because their jokes are so funny, it removes all negativity. They're extremely childish but when you see them you can't help but get sucked in. They're in a constant vortex of emotions. Every time it seems that the sadness takes over, they get themselves out of it. They're so childish and innocent. I had fun with these things, but it's also like they wanted to show me the light. That there's more I haven't seen. That I've only seen the surface and there's so much more there.

I used shrooms once in my adult life and had a beautiful trip. There are certain additions I am ready to kick right now. What's the best way you guys have found to set intentions like this before a shroom trip? I've also noticed MDMA works very well to kick these addictions, but I still fall back sometimes. I'd much prefer MDMA over shrooms (fear of bad trip) but I know shrooms can be more profound and perhaps help me better transitioning more into Green.

Hello lovely actualized members, Recently I've fallen on some hard times; financial stress and unemployment. I've dealt with it before and it's going okay. After a short few weeks of alcohol and cocaine abuse I had 3 experiences on MDMA that clarified some youth traumas, that was very helpful and I've given it a place now. Then yesterday some things become very clear to me: what I'm supposed to do with my life and how I should do it. It was an amazing experience. From then on I've become very emotional. Like I cry when I think about certain things or see a child in public. I can hold it back in public but this is a completely new experience for me. It's not sadness, it's just feeling very emotional and wanting to cry. I realize I have been emotionally unavailable for the last 12 years, maybe more.. (I'm 30 now). So even though I am taking action and loving life now, I don't know what this means. Am I now emotionally unstable? Thanks in advance for your answers.

Oh thanks dude I really appreciate that answer I also just realized I'll impress my acting class being able to cry on demand now

I've had a few of these random epiphanies, yesterday was one. But when this overwhelming feeling of light comes, I quickly shut it down and it never lasts longer than 1 or 2 seconds. Any advice?

This lady Tulsi Gabbard will win 2020. She's very presidential and very sexy, none of which I can say about Bernie.

I'm looking for advice on nootropics and supplements for my dad. Nobody actually knows what my dad has. First they diagnosed him with Parkinsons (without the tremors), then with Alzheimers, then again with Parkinsons and now they say it's not that either. He's extremely slow and stiff to move, incontinent, poor mouth muscle control and drooling, choking on food etc. He can have a slow reaction time to questions, or none at all and can seem distant from the world, although I would disagree that he is (just socially awkward which he's always been). These symptoms came about very gradually. My best guess is it's a result of years of heavy alcohol consumption, paint fumes (back before that shit was regulated there was some bad stuff in paint), perhaps trauma in combination with a quirky personality he's always had. I'm considering neurofeedback and will probably get him started on that once I have the money. I myself take armodafinil and a stack of other nootropics including L-theanine, NALT, NAC, spirulina among others. I'm just not sure if those would also be right for his situation. I wonder if anyone has knowledge of this topic or experience.

Hmm, never really had this problem though I think armodafinil gives me headache sometimes. It's 200mg L-theanine

Here's my current stack: Morning: Armodafinil (1/4 pill) L-theanine Ginkgo biloba Omega 3 fish oil N-A-C Afternoon: Armodafinil (1/4 pill) (only when I need extra performance) Coffee (only when I need extra performance) NALT L-theanine (second one on an empty stomach for focus) Evening: N-A-C Melatonine 5-HTP L-Tryptofaan (comes in a single tablet, good for sleep) I like this stack so far, looking to expand with Alpha-gpc and lions mane soon.

Eyooo, same here brother. Interesting encounters start happening when you raise your awareness.

Oh absolutely (minus the hygiene). Sorry for my ignorance on the topic, I think maybe he's only been diagnosed with Parkinsons, not Alzheimer's. Thanks for your help guys, I'll look into this further.

This makes no rational sense at all but emotionally I feel this way.

Earlier this week I had, what they call a paradigm shift. I would describe it as "I've finally opened my heart", though my old self would describe it as "having more faith and less overthinking". I've experienced deep feelings of love I haven't felt since I was 8 years old, that I forgot were even possible. I never knew that this was what I was missing in my life, but it's true. All of my adult live I've been a pure rational thinker. Now although my heart has always been in the right place, the pure rational thinking has always been very limiting. Not allowing myself to "flow in streams of abundance" (I know that sounds weird), I shot myself in the foot and denied myself those things I desired. Ironically, when you desire something and stress about it, like money, you create a very negative paradigm. A sort of "me vs. the world" where the world is the enemy. You have NO IDEA what complete abundance looks like and you'll never accomplish it from this paradigm. NEVER! The main difference is that previously my happiness depended on the correct thoughts aligning in my head. So if there was a prospect of happy things happening, like getting paid or going on vacation, I would be happy. If not-so-nice things were about to happen, I would be sad. Now however, happiness is not dependent on thought aligning properly, but more like it resurfaces throughout the day. And it's a deeper happiness than before too. I was going to give yesterday a rating from 1 to 10, like I often rate my days. But I realized it doesn't compare. It's like this would be a totally different scale. Also I don't need a scale lol. Never in a million years did I realize that this was a needed step in my personal development and I thank Leo for it. At the same time I realize it could be a state rather than a stage, like Leo talked about in his Ego Backlash video. But it's all good. That's kind of my new attitude towards the world "it's all good, it's all one, it is what it is and it's beautiful". Also I finally understand sayings like "Love is all", never quite got that one

@Leo Guraare you sure this is only transitioning into Green? I feel like having a good meditation session, but all the time ? it's like I've been playing a video game I hate and now load the game up years later and am enjoying it like a little kid (or enlightened master) would enjoy it. Social anxiety seems gone, and when it surfaces I enjoy it, love it (weird right). Self compassion is strong with this one. If this is basic stage Green then you undersold it Leo ? I don't feel any of the typical stage Green dogma I was so afraid of before. My understanding of different viewpoints has actually greatly increased.

Years of personal development and 20min daily meditation helped me with many things. Over the past 2 months however I increased my meditation to 1 hour per day (30 min morning and evening), nootropics, cleaner diet and I'm on day 11 of my current nofap streak. I'm also going through a bit of a rough patch atm since I went full time with my business and experience lots of money and personal issues. Becoming aware and growingly frustrated of the way my brain works was a stepping stone also.