Butters

Like this morning, I completely let go of all attachment and I feel overwhelmed with an emotion of sadness that's turning into a euphoric feeling of bliss. But before it comes up, I ruin it by saying either "oh cool, something is happening" or "omg scary", and then it's gone. This always happens. Wish I could have the bliss. ??

I know Leo talked about this earlier but couldn't find any books about it. Art vs marketing is something many artistic entrepreneurs struggle with. Also ethical business and stuff. Anyone?

@Emeraldthanks for your contributions here, very interesting stuff cause I've been so confused by this whole gender thing lately lol

First of all, excuse me for not being educated on the subject. I don't read much news or study politics. I know this makes me look like an idiot but mindlessly spewing your opinion without any form of research seems to be cool these days ? Anyway, populism is growing almost everywhere in the world. I believe it's because people feel overwhelmed by globalism and the staggering amount of news and information coming their way in the digital age. Then they desire a "back to basics" kind of thing where they want a collective purpose, rather than creating their own purpose like we are. Anyway, from the viewpoint of an actualized.org follower and student of Spiral Dynamics, do you think there's any legitimacy to this movement? I'm an optimist and I find it hard to believe this movement is really just a giant setback. Maybe it's the very last convulsions of stage blue in the West? Thoughts?

Thanks. I lived in the third world for 3 years and it confused me to the max. Then I saw Leo's stage blue video and it all made sense ? I was a hardcore scientist as well, but have loosened up a lot the last couple of years and am open to every theory and worldview. The problem with transitioninh into green is I don't want to become an idiot. I'd love to be more compassionate and interpersonal, but i don't see the reason to let go of logic and open-mindedness. I'm usually able to see both sides of a conflict and look for solutions in humor. Why would I want to trade something so wise for silly faminazi kind of attitude? I'm able to see that my point of view is merely my point of view and am always interested in finding solutions that work for every stage in the Spiral. Why trade that for Green dogma? I don't get it.

Haha I guess you're right. I wanted to trigger an intellectual discussion but instead I get pointed towards something that's kind of above my level right now. I'd love to grow to stage Green but the people are weirdos and I feel I haven't gotten nearly enough bitches and money yet in this stage.

Non-duality joke: Guru: hey Student: what's going on? Guru: nothing ?

Ehm, how come? If I create a business that pushes people to meditate, I'm not pushing my own idealogy on people and leave them to draw their own conclusions. Now my own agenda, my worldview, is pure coincidence of where I was born, which time etc. So pushing my own worldview onto others is rather inconsiderate. But to promote something that works for everyone on the Spiral, like healthy eating, can be done without pushing my own belief system, which is just nonsense to others. Stuff like that can be done perfectly well in a capitalism environment. What else do you propose?

False. I believe you can create a business that raises people's consciousness while leaving idealogy or your own beliefs entirely out of the picture. For example: pushing the field of neuro feedback, healthy living and meditation.

If you're against capitalism, you can't practice what you preach. I could make a great case why sleep is a waste of time, but not sleeping ain't gonna work. So your point might be valid, it's utterly impractical. Even if you're technically right, what's the purpose? Might as well put on your boots and actually make some change.

What's more productive: thinking of how bad capitalism is and being sad about it, or actually taking action to create a conscious business that can elevate humanity, albeit in a small way, to greater heights? I have fantastical ideas about a working non-capitalistic world. But in reality, we live in one. Through capitalism you can make a change, and then one day things will be different and even much better than today (which is already pretty darn good compared to 100 years ago).

It's the entrepreneurs that can change the world by making a positive impact, and we see more and more conscious businesses that the public appreciates. My biggest life goal is to raise humanity and people's consciousness by having a giant global impact. A solution that works for every stage of the Spiral without discrimination or pushing one's ideology over another. My criticism was towards those specific things I mentioned in the OP. I don't understand the unproductive and paradoxical behavior I believe is part of green. I do agree with and understand most of the viewpoints and theory, as well as the shortcomings of stage orange.

You seem like an open minded and logical person. Wouldn't you agree that stage Green has very little practical, real world application?

Lol trip report, probably not a good title for nootropics. Don't take a full pill, stick with halves and quarters.

In my experience, you're not really "under the influence" of nootropics. You're just more focused, more present, 100% yourself. So yeah, ofcourse you can do real development using them. They're extremely helpful.

As I was listening to David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man" on audiobook, it started to make sense. Male and Female energy explains a lot of our actions and behaviors. We all have both Male and Female energy, and this concept is completely separate from sex and gender. So basically, Male Energy is constant. That which never changes. These are consciousness and death. I can't think of anything else. Male Energy is found in qualities like Discipline Work ethic Emotional mastery Purpose Now Female Energy is the ongoing change. Flowing like the wind. Everything is always changing. That's the Female Energy. Female Energy is found in qualities like Feeling into your emotions Learning new things Making new connections Desiring Wanting to experience Having too much of either spectrum is a guaranteed way to make you unhappy. Having too much female energy might give you a great vision for you life, but you're only going off sporadic motivation. You might say things like "I'm going to quit weed next week", because that's how you genuinely feel right now. But you lack the discipline and work ethic to make this work. You may think someone is going to come, to save you from your misery. You know you should take responsibility for your life, but really deep down you still desire for someone to come and save you. Stereotypes include: the hippie, the starving artist, the emotionally unstable friend Having too much male energy means you're not open to change. You're unable to properly do personal development and you cling to your opinions as if they're absolute truths. You may go online and argue with other people, or get triggered by opinions other than your own. You're not open to the possibility the other side could be right, and can't conceive that your opinion is only a product of time and circumstance, not absolute truth. Stereotypes include: the elderly conservative, nationalists, those who glorify capitalism, fighting over wrong and right Ultimately you want to find a balance between the two energies. That doesn't mean literally 50/50, it means something that works for you. Did you guys like this? It's just a bunch of observations but like Spiral Dynamics, I find this model of the world very helpful in growing myself.

This morning I popped a L-theanine cause Leo said it's a great nootropic. I guess it works really well because I feel this sense of calm, focus and "spiritual" feeling I get similar to microdosing shrooms. But it also causes fear, similar to that I experience on weed, microdosing and general "spiritual" experiences I feel sometimes. I guess my ego is a frightened little girl. Maybe this feeling is only acceptable when I meditate, because then it's like I control it. But if it happens on my commute to work, it's scary. What to do with this? It's the reason I'm way too scared to take a full dose of mushrooms or try 5-MEO or regular DMT or Acid. You think this is also the reason why I fallback into TERRIBLE self-destructing patterns like shit food, porn, even getting a flu whenever my life goes really, really well? Thanks P.S. I do believe one main reason is a social anxiety I have and the way I see myself, but this really doesn't help

Why without question?

Ordered a small bottle of L-Theanine and popped my first pill this morning. The label says to take 2 pills per day on an empty stomach so I did just that. It's made me very productive, surprisingly productive. My usual self would have gone home at 4.30PM but I stayed late and was very happy with the work I got done. It also made me introspective in ways I wish I had 4 years ago. Had some great realizations about how I process information, very useful. Also got my Armodafinil in the mail today! Will be using that tomorrow! So excited. I won't be combining it with the L-Theanine so I can feel its effect properly. I also won't take the Armodafinil daily but every 2 or 3 days so I can really feel the difference. Will start with half a pill.

Does anyone remember the one Leo said helps against the flu?

The truth is, you already know that it's what you should do but you want permission to go pursue it. If robots start doing surgery en masse then third world countries are gonna lag behind on the technology for decades. Have you been in a third world hospital? It looks like a 50s insane asylum with shit equipment and poor sanitation. You can fill decades or a lifetime being a surgeon and who knows what your knowledge can offer after that. See I just pulled that story out of my ass and can think of 50 more realistic scenarios where surgery is useful but you just want permission to do it. Go do it.

Yesterday I smoked weed, like I've done so many times before, but it hit me pretty hard. I started hearing a high frequency noise that sounded very Alien that kept going on in my left ear. When I stood up, I fainted and blacked out on the coffee table but got back up. Then I walked up the stairs into my bedroom and fell on the floor and hit my head and back (I assume pretty hard). All of reality became a blur and I fainted. My housemate got me a glass of water and took care of me. This is where the experience started. First, I experienced an infinite loop that I couldn't get out of. The same image and the same words kept reappearing and all these visuals spawned out of itself, for infinity. I had to deny something. If I didn't deny that particular thing / phrase / sentence, fear would take over my reality. By constantly denying this phrase I could reach the light. It was very difficult for me to deny this phrase, whatever it was, but eventually I denied it so many times I escaped the loop. Slowly my visual field kicked back in but it was different this time. I was sitting on the floor in a meditative position and I had the deep realization that that moment was all there ever was. My whole life as a story was complete BS and all it ever was was me sitting on the floor in that position. Every human ever has only ever sat in that meditative position. I was still in childhood. I FINALLY realized the nature of reality. All it EVER was was that. Time was a complete joke ... the funniest joke I'd ever heard. I said to my housemate that I finally understood the comparison between enlightenment and an orgasm because a few minutes of this were absolutely orgasmic. So, what on EARTH should I make of this?

I don't think Leo meant that literal experience is the top of the iceberg, rather it's one of many possible gateways into having an insight into "truth" (whatever that is). Correct me if I'm wrong.

What I referred to is gut feeling. I used to make my decisions in life based on "rational thinking" but in my case that turned out to be nonsense - an excuse to ignore my gut. Looking back on many life events, I found I secretly knew important things all along but ended up rationalizing in the other (wrong) direction.

Following the intuitive thoughts, feelings that arise in moments of clarity, can I be wrong? For example, socializing more now, which I have a strong need for in my personal journey of growth, I find myself smoking a cigarette every now and again. Completely guilt free. Thoughts?