Butters

No. You want to genuinely not care. If she walks she walks, you have to be able to take a loss at any moment. You seem lost in concepts.

@NoSelfSelf you care about her by not caring. You can take care of her, that's different.

Sure, but be careful here. From the outside the entire game looks like a nascicstic things, only you know what you're doing and your intentions.

By being an asshole at times, you care about women. You got it backwards. Having a strict frame that YOU decide AND enforce as a man you make her feel safe. Deep down you know what is best for yourself, for her and your tribe.

For sure, I think most people here would agree with you, these are great beings to learn from. Love this comment 😁 I guess my ego has a dislike for manipulation but of course I do it myself. Are you the only one who is wise / awake in all areas of life? And if so, why? Never realized how complete your work is until recently, it's kinda sick.

I do volunteering work 2 - 4 hours a week with Ukrainian refugees. The work is massively satisfying, but it's not always easy. Today my heart was wide open while I spoke to a few refugees. This woman was being exploited at work, which is quite common unfortunately. Now she's unable to continue the work because it gave her some sort of arthritis. Her employer would yell at her and just plain bully these people. It's sad but it's so common. It reminds me of that Stanford prison experiment But yeah my heart is open during this work and then I bring it home a little, like at home now I feel pain. Not colored by the ego, not anger at that lady's boss, just feeling their pain. Some of my female colleagues are less energetically open which I totally understand. It's probably smarter to not be 100% open but I feel this is my karma and I have to be open, honest and myself when I listen to a refugee tell their story. I wanna be there with them 100% present, that's the least I can do right? Like a gift. It's only a few hours and I leave when I feel in my body that it's time to leave, like my energy goes down. But I have other stuff to do when I get home. Any ways to deal with this? Yes I already shower and meditate, and hold some crystals. I do feel greatly supported by my colleagues, and I support them with my energy. So I give a lot but also receive a lot back from this work. But you know? This employer exploits these people physically and emotionally. I know the power of NLP but this is like reverse NLP used for evil. Edit: both practical advice and metaphysical takes are welcome. I can also understand how a person can find real enjoyment in holding that kind of power over people's emotions and their whole fate.

It is very worthwhile work, I would definitely recommend it. Good point. I heard somebody say the only way to solve the current refugee crisis in Europe is to raise collective consiousness. I totally agree.

On the one hand, these past two years I've been focused inwards, healing trauma and reflecting a lot. I've made massive inner spiritual growth and my understanding and love for the world has increased so much. On the other hand, these past two years I've not focused much outward. The result? My small online business has steadily declined to a point where I now have massive debt and little income. It feels like I could lose my life at any moment. I've also lost my tribe and stopped pursuing certain passions. Now that I know myself better I can reboot those things with 10x the confidence and 10x the awareness. I'm so excited about this! I've never felt so alive and so confident. My self respect is through the roof and it radiates. You could say I'm at my worse rationally, but my awareness is higher than ever before. Part of me feels like massive changes are coming, all for the better. At this point all I can do is to do the right thing, so I try to follow my intuition as much as possible. I don't have a choice unless I wanna be homeless. I'm forced into consiousness and making heart based decisions. I'm working on new business ventures but it's kinda tough. I fall into black and white thinking often. Like really chaotic thinking, hard to give an example. Like one day I'm all excited and the next I'm so down and unmotivated. There's many projects in my future, maybe I should focus on one at a time. Any advice for tough times? Specifically tough times where you are consious and aware that massive loving changes are just around the corner but you can't see exactly the path yet.

I do volunteering work. Long story short this woman 2yrs my junior is my supervisor and she's manipulating me. Nothing too fancy, just basic stage orange manipulation I think. But the fact that I have my heart open and this bitch uses me as a tool to look better in front of others angers me. It angers me more that she could just be genuine and I'll make her look good automatically in front of others, but instead she chooses to undermine my intelligence. I'm honest, like totally honest in my signals, unlike most people who manipulate one way or another. We've had genuine moments, she's not a narcicist, but as she gains power she chooses to step on my head and bite the hand that feeds her. She has no clue how easily I could dominate her in front of others in every situation. I choose not to, at least not yet. I could literally destroy her career so easily, how could she be so stupid? I just don't get it. I feel like she's making assumptions about me, mistaking my kindness for weakness. It feels like an invitation to just destroy her until she either cries or gets fired. I've been pushing this side of me away but it's there. My dad's a full blown narcicist, he invented that shit. I can fall back on full blown nariccistic psychopathy at any moment, I'm just choosing not to. It's like a sharp sword in the attic. A tool I could always grab and use,but as an absolute last resort. Realistically though I'll probably just start calling her out on her bullshit as it happens. I have developed a sharp intuition for this, it'd be kinda fun to literally describe how she's trying to manipulate a situation while she's doing it. I also wonder if she's actually fooling anyone or if she's just making a fool out of herself while thinking she's smart. Her manipulation has always been opaque to me, I just never said anything. Now she's biting the hand that was held over her head. I know this isn't a good use of my time but I'm obsessed over this since last night. Like actually obsessed, I can't think about anything I should be working on right now. I do care about my volunteer job, I work with refugees and I have more heart in it than most of my colleagues there, sometimes too much maybe. I also feel like this volunteer job is good but I want a different function there, but not sure yet how to get it.

Thank you. I try to do this but sometimes I go to extremes where I start to think I'm the worst person in the world, or I'm some angel and everyone else sucks. For me the trick is to find balance, it's probably a little bit of both. At this point I've contemplated and thought about things like this too much and it's time for me to be outward more.

❤️ Wise words Thankfully I don't harbor these kinds of feelings much, just the trauma can come up sometimes. I'm already over this situation now after some yoga and talking to some girls at class. About narcicism: anyone interested can look up Dr Ramani on YouTube, her content has helped me a lot. But after reflecting and grief I found it useful to try and let it go. I haven't fully let it go yet so sometimes I slap the label narcicist on people which is a habit I'm hoping to minimize overtime.

Yeah that's why I named the thread like that. But my psychologist said I don't have to worry about possibly being a narcicist because I think about this so much and always consider what is the right thing. It's no longer in my mind as much now since I posted here. It's just interesting to notice my mind going to these places while I should be focusing on my future. I'm going through some transition I feel.

I already have a solution. Next time I see her I will simply tell her that I know she's doing this, give specific examples, and ask her to stop doing it.

Or different angle: I was that beacon of strength and masculine energy last week but this week I had tiny holes in my armor so she tests to see if she can be fully safe. She's also incompetent in her supervisor role, but like I said I've been holding my hand over her head all this time because she has been there for me too. And I believe that she deserves a fair chance and perhaps can learn leadership overtime. She's kinda new still. Idk. I'm talking to myself here but I would appreciate it tremendously if anyone can relate or has gone through similar situations. Edit: I'm not discarding the option that it's entirely on me and wildly blown out of proportion. I do have a special distaste for narcicistic behavior, which isn't fair cause she's a heart centered person. I should totally be slapped for even entertaining these thoughts. I am so much further in my development, these thoughts are so unfair to them. Please note that I'm never bringing this kind of energy into the workplace, I'm totally chill there with no back of mind thoughts. It's just something that came up at home later and I can't let it go. As I'm entertaining these thoughts my compassion is coming back so that's a good sign I guess. Now I feel bad.

And you know what the truth is? I love her. I love the refugees that I help. My heart is more open now than before and perhaps it frightens my stage orange coworkers. From that angle I can understand. From that angle perhaps she's afraid too, because I had such a protective energy when she was scared herself of a situation I was the beacon of rest, love and calm in a situation where the women were panicking. I was in my strength there, it felt amazing. From that perspective I understand she would try to not see me as human, because she's afraid of the feelings. But it backfires. She must know I see right through it all, right into her soul. When she's manipulating I can't even hold eye contact because I sense it. I sense real vs fake because I've transcended lots of things myself. But not fully. Edit: I don't think this is it though, cause she's manipulated before this. It's basically just that she shows in front of other women that she can control me, it's such a joke. She must see me as weak or dumb but I always see right through it.

I fully realize how petty all this sounds. I find it a giant waste of my time as well and it's not who I usually am. Also going through a tough time right now and lots of stress. Opportunities as well, but major shifts bring this stress rn. Everything is shifting recently, my business feels like life or death these days. But the potential has never been so great and clear either. Idk.

Here's the thing though: when I'm feeling great and I'm totally on my path, none of this shit matters and I intuitively deflect all of this bullshit in the moment, it's great. Last time I had some worries from my personal life so maybe I wasn't as present, not as strong, and then she tries to use me. But I have to admit in this moment I don't notice anything, things just are, I'm just chilling. All these thought I've described here came last night and more today. Why?

Last Christmas I wore a ugly Christmas sweater that says "don we now our gay apparel" in pride flag colors. As a result gay guys started to flirt with me and I'd kinda forgot I was wearing the sweatshirt so I was like wtf is going on. It doesn't matter what you wear. I wore my mom's jewelry and it's obviously for women and people don't even look, only sometimes but I take it as a compliment. I did have to throw a shirt out recently because it had a panda on it with guns in both hands. It's a Banksy artwork but people don't know that so they got really nervous and scared around me and I had no idea why. This was right after the Isreal Palestine war had started, they probably thought I was some school shooter or something.

I just want an empathetic, loving, selfless, beautiful, free, spontaneous, social, caring, emotionally healthy, warm, spiritually developed woman to fuck up the butt. What strategies should I apply here?

The is section is filled with red pill bs and I post an artful thread that exaggerates the male perspective while at the same time being honest and reflective and you give me a warning...

I'm 34

I'm not most guys. I've already shared with you guys my naked woman shirt and I'm currently wearing a shirt with smurfette as a stripper with her legs open and a star over her crotch. I'm currently also designing a Billie Eilish ugly Christmas sweater.

Haha, Leo started talking about Buddhist rats and nondialist rats a few months back but he stopped after his apology blog post if I remember correctly. I think he used explicit language on purpose to point out that Buddhist and nondialist theories are incomplete. Nothing but love for Leo though ❤️

I see what you're saying, maybe that's why Leo started calling us Buddhist rats on here.

What's your definition of asshole? If it's non-reactive, not caring what others think of you and having a strong frame then yes, but why is that being an asshole? To me "asshole" sounds like some dumb guy who's irl trolling people or something. Being nice (not to be confused with being kind) isn't very social behavior imo. You walk around all nice and spiritual that's anti social. Trust me I'm guilty of that myself sometimes, that's why I gotta keep doing my martial arts. Being genuine and authentic is closer to truth, being nice is pandering to others, is farther from truth.