Butters

I do volunteering work. Long story short this woman 2yrs my junior is my supervisor and she's manipulating me. Nothing too fancy, just basic stage orange manipulation I think. But the fact that I have my heart open and this bitch uses me as a tool to look better in front of others angers me. It angers me more that she could just be genuine and I'll make her look good automatically in front of others, but instead she chooses to undermine my intelligence. I'm honest, like totally honest in my signals, unlike most people who manipulate one way or another. We've had genuine moments, she's not a narcicist, but as she gains power she chooses to step on my head and bite the hand that feeds her. She has no clue how easily I could dominate her in front of others in every situation. I choose not to, at least not yet. I could literally destroy her career so easily, how could she be so stupid? I just don't get it. I feel like she's making assumptions about me, mistaking my kindness for weakness. It feels like an invitation to just destroy her until she either cries or gets fired. I've been pushing this side of me away but it's there. My dad's a full blown narcicist, he invented that shit. I can fall back on full blown nariccistic psychopathy at any moment, I'm just choosing not to. It's like a sharp sword in the attic. A tool I could always grab and use,but as an absolute last resort. Realistically though I'll probably just start calling her out on her bullshit as it happens. I have developed a sharp intuition for this, it'd be kinda fun to literally describe how she's trying to manipulate a situation while she's doing it. I also wonder if she's actually fooling anyone or if she's just making a fool out of herself while thinking she's smart. Her manipulation has always been opaque to me, I just never said anything. Now she's biting the hand that was held over her head. I know this isn't a good use of my time but I'm obsessed over this since last night. Like actually obsessed, I can't think about anything I should be working on right now. I do care about my volunteer job, I work with refugees and I have more heart in it than most of my colleagues there, sometimes too much maybe. I also feel like this volunteer job is good but I want a different function there, but not sure yet how to get it.

Thank you. I try to do this but sometimes I go to extremes where I start to think I'm the worst person in the world, or I'm some angel and everyone else sucks. For me the trick is to find balance, it's probably a little bit of both. At this point I've contemplated and thought about things like this too much and it's time for me to be outward more.

❤️ Wise words Thankfully I don't harbor these kinds of feelings much, just the trauma can come up sometimes. I'm already over this situation now after some yoga and talking to some girls at class. About narcicism: anyone interested can look up Dr Ramani on YouTube, her content has helped me a lot. But after reflecting and grief I found it useful to try and let it go. I haven't fully let it go yet so sometimes I slap the label narcicist on people which is a habit I'm hoping to minimize overtime.

Yeah that's why I named the thread like that. But my psychologist said I don't have to worry about possibly being a narcicist because I think about this so much and always consider what is the right thing. It's no longer in my mind as much now since I posted here. It's just interesting to notice my mind going to these places while I should be focusing on my future. I'm going through some transition I feel.

I already have a solution. Next time I see her I will simply tell her that I know she's doing this, give specific examples, and ask her to stop doing it.

Or different angle: I was that beacon of strength and masculine energy last week but this week I had tiny holes in my armor so she tests to see if she can be fully safe. She's also incompetent in her supervisor role, but like I said I've been holding my hand over her head all this time because she has been there for me too. And I believe that she deserves a fair chance and perhaps can learn leadership overtime. She's kinda new still. Idk. I'm talking to myself here but I would appreciate it tremendously if anyone can relate or has gone through similar situations. Edit: I'm not discarding the option that it's entirely on me and wildly blown out of proportion. I do have a special distaste for narcicistic behavior, which isn't fair cause she's a heart centered person. I should totally be slapped for even entertaining these thoughts. I am so much further in my development, these thoughts are so unfair to them. Please note that I'm never bringing this kind of energy into the workplace, I'm totally chill there with no back of mind thoughts. It's just something that came up at home later and I can't let it go. As I'm entertaining these thoughts my compassion is coming back so that's a good sign I guess. Now I feel bad.

And you know what the truth is? I love her. I love the refugees that I help. My heart is more open now than before and perhaps it frightens my stage orange coworkers. From that angle I can understand. From that angle perhaps she's afraid too, because I had such a protective energy when she was scared herself of a situation I was the beacon of rest, love and calm in a situation where the women were panicking. I was in my strength there, it felt amazing. From that perspective I understand she would try to not see me as human, because she's afraid of the feelings. But it backfires. She must know I see right through it all, right into her soul. When she's manipulating I can't even hold eye contact because I sense it. I sense real vs fake because I've transcended lots of things myself. But not fully. Edit: I don't think this is it though, cause she's manipulated before this. It's basically just that she shows in front of other women that she can control me, it's such a joke. She must see me as weak or dumb but I always see right through it.

I fully realize how petty all this sounds. I find it a giant waste of my time as well and it's not who I usually am. Also going through a tough time right now and lots of stress. Opportunities as well, but major shifts bring this stress rn. Everything is shifting recently, my business feels like life or death these days. But the potential has never been so great and clear either. Idk.

Here's the thing though: when I'm feeling great and I'm totally on my path, none of this shit matters and I intuitively deflect all of this bullshit in the moment, it's great. Last time I had some worries from my personal life so maybe I wasn't as present, not as strong, and then she tries to use me. But I have to admit in this moment I don't notice anything, things just are, I'm just chilling. All these thought I've described here came last night and more today. Why?

Last Christmas I wore a ugly Christmas sweater that says "don we now our gay apparel" in pride flag colors. As a result gay guys started to flirt with me and I'd kinda forgot I was wearing the sweatshirt so I was like wtf is going on. It doesn't matter what you wear. I wore my mom's jewelry and it's obviously for women and people don't even look, only sometimes but I take it as a compliment. I did have to throw a shirt out recently because it had a panda on it with guns in both hands. It's a Banksy artwork but people don't know that so they got really nervous and scared around me and I had no idea why. This was right after the Isreal Palestine war had started, they probably thought I was some school shooter or something.

I just want an empathetic, loving, selfless, beautiful, free, spontaneous, social, caring, emotionally healthy, warm, spiritually developed woman to fuck up the butt. What strategies should I apply here?

The is section is filled with red pill bs and I post an artful thread that exaggerates the male perspective while at the same time being honest and reflective and you give me a warning...

I'm 34

I'm not most guys. I've already shared with you guys my naked woman shirt and I'm currently wearing a shirt with smurfette as a stripper with her legs open and a star over her crotch. I'm currently also designing a Billie Eilish ugly Christmas sweater.

Haha, Leo started talking about Buddhist rats and nondialist rats a few months back but he stopped after his apology blog post if I remember correctly. I think he used explicit language on purpose to point out that Buddhist and nondialist theories are incomplete. Nothing but love for Leo though ❤️

I see what you're saying, maybe that's why Leo started calling us Buddhist rats on here.

What's your definition of asshole? If it's non-reactive, not caring what others think of you and having a strong frame then yes, but why is that being an asshole? To me "asshole" sounds like some dumb guy who's irl trolling people or something. Being nice (not to be confused with being kind) isn't very social behavior imo. You walk around all nice and spiritual that's anti social. Trust me I'm guilty of that myself sometimes, that's why I gotta keep doing my martial arts. Being genuine and authentic is closer to truth, being nice is pandering to others, is farther from truth.

Holy shit is she on point. The behavior within a relationship that she describes reminds me of my dad who is an extreme example of that niceness, victim of everything "look I'm just an innocent child-like man, don't hurt me", ugh disgusting! It really fucked me up and I didn't realize his covert narcicism until later in life. I still get people sometimes looking at me like I'm some asshole for breaking contact with my dad, who they view as this poor old nice man. Imagine the damage that does to a kid; always viewed as an aggressor to his poor defenseless father. Imagine someone making your fucking blood boil with their weakness day in day out and the moment you wanna snap at the you're the unreasonable one. Happened to my mom and to me. She is so on point in her video it's amazing.

I still find this topic absolutely fascinating and I have some new insights. Being overly invested in an interaction or nice shows you may have empathy problems or you're just very weak. If someone doesn't want to communicate on that level, an empathetic person will instantly adjust to the other person's level of comfort. A true leader communicates that way, with empathy and calibration. Having a strong frame like that allows you to instantly adjust to social situations if needed. I addition to that, when you seem a little too happy this person is giving you their time and attention it's creepy. That's the frame the girl should be in, not the guy. In a survival environment you wouldn't be nice to anyone you don't know unless you're trying to manipulate. If you're friendly and nice to guys in prison you'll get fucked. I almost got fucked last week by a guy who looked like a psychopath ex con at my fighting gym because I talked to him under the shower and he thought it was me flirting with him or something. Thankfully I'm a self actualized motehrfuxker with a very strong frame but most guys would have gotten scared right there. I guess the lesson for me is also to keep my boxers on in the gyms shower and not talk to dudes in the shower but I was just being nice and spontaneous. In a survival environment niceness is weak, and showing signs of weakness is probably the most unattractive thing in the world to a woman. Also when dudes talk to each other it should just be a real conversation about stuff with mutual respect. I've had dudes talk to me being overly smiling and it makes me super uncomfortable. It's completely unnecessary behavior and is always because of fear, no exception. Also niceness has nothing to do with flirting. Imagine you're a girl and you're just nice to a guy who is nice back and all of a sudden he wants to fuck you. Eww!

I went to a psychologist this year and the first two times were fine because I was having some issues. But the last session was just poor. It felt like I was making progress and he was just projecting his own limiting beliefs upon me. I won't go there again. I also felt that he believed his methods were the best methods but I prefer to learn from a variaty of different schools. His method was cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt). It felt very limited compared to all the things I know from personal development. My question is: When is it recommended to see a phycologist? Is it for serious mental health issues only? What about adhd for example? When is coaching or self help methods better? In other words: who should definitely see a psych and who should avoid seeing one?

There's multiple Leo's. Black shirt: $15 White shirt: $35 Forum Leo: priceless

Oh wonderful, thank you so much. I'm currently facing old fears from a completely different angle and from much higher consiousness than before. What it comes down to is I'm seeing a huge vision for myself and not taking the fear too seriously, which allows me to accept the hero's call. Transformation seems to happen in my most challenging periods, but this is different than before, this time it's consious. This morning I was worried about my situation and then I just started laughing and laughing because I recognized the feeling that something big was about to happen. I recognized it because it's happened before, but this time I'm so self aware, consious of my manifesting.

After re-watching Leo's video I got this recommendation which I also found very interesting I was wondering if you could always tell which stage you're in? For example I'm not sure if I'm in the "finding a mentor" stage (#4) or the "transformation" stage (#8). It kinda depends on how you look at it in my situation. If you count online mentors or not also changes it a little, and if you're pursuing multiple things in your life.

I've heard that @Princess Arabia's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.