Butters

By public speaking. You can also join toast masters.

Dude students are disgusting, irrelevant of gender.

I used to play WOTLK and after that Cataclysm endgame. Haven't played since. I usually did raids with semi-casual guild but after some time I'd switch to pvp arenas. Is it still good or would you recommend a different mmorpg?

Did the ghetto school also affect your memory? Cause you posted this exact thread before.

Ok I just realized I mistook this game for Unrecord, but that one isn't out yet

Looks so sick, are photorealistic games the future of shooters? But although the trailer looks sick I'm not gonna buy it yet. Just hope to see more photorealistic games in the future without the supposedly poor gameplay.

Hot women are like cats and I AM THE CATNIP!

Why?

It's all just stupid because people. How many more years of this human BS before we finally elect a world government that runs on OpenAI?

Haha that's a good point, hadn't thought about that yet 😂 What about those legacy WoW servers? I had a friend play Vanilla WoW just a couple of years ago if I remember correctly.

Yes life is pretty morbid huh 😭

Idea: coach young entrepreneurs for free in e-commerce and receive a small cut of the profits. That way I get to coach someone without having to do the business work, just the big picture stuff. That sounds like fun. RaS: Did you know that if you focus on something, that narrative will start to translate in the 3D world? I see myself as a coach, I see coaching opportunities 😉

@shree I've identified 3 phases to this process: Phase 1: denial Basically being unconscious of the process, you might feel anger or confusion. You might also blame yourself or see the parent as the victim like you said. Phase 2: trauma release This is where you recognize you've been through emotional abuse. You might blame the parent or feel resentment towards them. This takes as long as it needs. This phase is kinda crazy cause I often went between 'hoping they would change' and 'being very angry' and seeing them as evil. Phase 3: acceptance You must ultimately come to acceptance of the situation and move on. If you don't, you'll forever see yourself as the victim and then unwillingly do evil upon your surroundings, ironically repeating the pattern of the parent in a different form. Ultimately you wanna take full responsibility. At this phase some emotional maturity happens and you sort of stop ego-identifying with the situation. The parent is neither evil nor good, and you're not so much invested into "finding out if they're evil or not". This took me years. I was at phase 2 for years, now mostly in phase 3 but it can come back at times, like when I started this thread. I cannot really tell you how to move through these phases; awareness, contemplation and focusing on your LP helps. Just remember: You have a right to whichever emotion you feel You have no obligation to this parent You were indeed victim to emotional abuse and were robbed of your childhood, but do realize that some day in the future for full healing to happen you will have to also let that go Whether or not communication is possible will depend on the situation and person, but it's not necessary. Most important is doing best for yourself. Note: I'm not sure if this is good advice because when I was in phase 2 I could't really imagine phase 3. It wasn't until my dad was in the hospital and in such a weak (near-death) state that I saw that as leveling the playing field or something. Idk.

Day 41: I feel like shit. Wednesday was the last day where I actually did some things and I received a payment from an old website that I sold, so that took care of a few bills and released some stress. Thursday woke up late and simply didn't do anything, took a long-ass nap in the afternoon then canceled a comedy show I had at night. Today I am confused about what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to do. I'm falling into so many of the traps I mentioned earlier. At least I'm managing my finances daily so doing a better job at that I guess. Right now I'm falling into all of these: Trap #1: Wriggling I feel lost. First I said I was going to work on my YT channel(s) and do PoD. Then that became Etsy, then it became Etsy coaching, then it became freelancing. Now I feel lost. Trap #5: Taking it all too seriously Trap #6: No balance Trap #7: Stress Trap #9: Not doing comedy Canceled a show last night because I thought it would be more efficient to work from home and wake up early today so I can get this damn money. Trap #10: The comedy scene My last show went poorly and I'm still stuck up on that. Also people there weren't nice. Trap #17: Jumping to conclusion Trap #22: Overeating Trap #25: Supermarkets Why do I keep falling into trap #1? I feel like I haven't done anything! Not built anything up. First I create that Fiverr gig and Upwork profile, but I haven't even looked at that since. Then I created my own website and I post shorts on socials for Etsy coaching, but then I say that's not good and I have to do something else. I have been doing a much better job at my finances lately and have made sure I received that payment last week. I might also get some money back in taxes but not sure. But I really took time these past weeks to try and work on this. But at the same time this pile of debt just creates stress, and it creates this need for quick income, which Youtube doesn't seem to provide. So that's how I got to freelancing, but I don't have any passion for this. Besides, proper freelancing requires me to position myself in the market and actually treat it like a real business, and then it feels like I'm taking YET ANOTHER thing on my plate and it feels like Trap #1 again. When I'm in an energetic high I feel like I can do anything. When I'm at an energetic low it's totally different. Let's explore this state further. If I only made posts here when I feel good, I'll have an incomplete documentation. Let's explore this low state and see where it leads me. Being in the low state, what is something I am intrinsically motivated to do? Well, apparently it's this journal; exploring my own thoughts to find truth and direction. I also feel inclined to make video content, but I hold myself back with rational thoughts (Trap #18: Rational thinking). God I should offer life coaching, I could probably help others boost their state and help them make decisions from there, and identify blockages etc. So I guess I'm much more of a soft person. Let's ask ChatGPT what soft person values are: Hmm, I guess I have some of both, although little to no competitiveness tbh, and also not super flexible. Ever since my first NLP seminar in April of last year I wanted to start a coaching business. Why didn't I start yet? I felt it wasn't ready. But it suits me. I should probably do this. Serendipity: This is freaky, but literally as I wrote this I checked my inbox and an email appears with the subject "Start your own coaching business" from that company I took the seminar. It's really interesting that I went ahead and explored this negative state in this post and came to such an interesting finding. So I didn't fall into Trap #19: Toxic positivism of only wanting to look at things from a High state, but now I explored it from a Low state and I'm still guided in the right direction. I feel better now. For the sake of it: Nobody paints because they want to become a famous painter. That is bullshit. People paint because they want to paint. Earlier when I held thought of being an NLP coach or speaker, there was too much ego involved. I envisioned myself on stage for the recognition. Now I'm actually more motivated because I understand people better and through NLP you can elevate people to their higher selves, outside of themselves, and that's really cool.

@Michael569 thank you so much, I hope you and your family are dealing well with the situation. I do need to recognize that my dad's cognitive development is really low and you're absolutely right about that, it would be unfair to overlook his level of development, especially since I've already done some amount of trauma release work and can deal with this fairly well.

Day 39: Eureka! I've found it. Thus far, my business had no vision, as it's only purpose was to fuel my comedy lifestyle. That's not a strong enough motivator as selfish motivation is too limited to really work for me. So I've found a solution. I've found a proper vision for the business that's beyond myself. So basically I want to share myself with others, and share my work with others. I want a Youtube channel similar to Dan Koe's (thanks again for turning me onto his work @Fountainbleu @CARDOZZO). The idea is that instead of going through this journey myself, I will share it with others as best I can. Similar to doing stand-up where I write at home and then perform, but this time on Youtube and this time without the jokes. The key here is honesty. I can't pretend to be some "Etsy Guru" while I'm broke, that just doesn't sit right with me. If I hired an Etsy coach who was going to tell me how to make money on the platform and found out he's broke later I'd be upset. Even though I've made money on Etsy for 4 years full-time, it still doesn't sit right with me. What I do want to create is radically honest videos sharing my knowledge around self actualization and online business. Basically this journal but worked out further into video content. That's the vision and I love it, it's bigger than me. So looking at the past 5 years it was just me working on my laptop, in it for myself. Then the next 5 years of entrepreneurship will be me working on my laptop while broadcasting it all to the world. What a difference. So much more meaningful. Freelancing: I still have many bills to pay, like I'm drowning in them pretty much. At the moment I have no real income other than my Uber Eats job. That's where I want to focus a bit on freelancing. Between 2014 and 2017 I was traveling and lived in Indonesia for most of the time. To make money I built and sold websites on Flippa.com. For the time being, I want to explore freelancing again, but this time offering building websites to local business, basically helping them with anything digital such as content, website, email newsletters, social media etc. But mainly websites I think. This guy does it and makes $60K per month: "But weren't you going to offer Etsy consulting?" - Yes I was, but I feel a slight ethical barrier there as I explained earlier. I'd rather start an 'honest' freelancing business and document it for my channel and build a following of this honest documentation than to offer myself as an Etsy coach but compromise slightly on transparency, even if it's ever so slightly. Stress: Don't get it twisted: this isn't a walk in the park and the Universe is really testing me right now. The thing that keeps me going is the gratitude and long-term vision that I have. If I were to just zoom in on my financial problems it would be too crippling to continue any of this. Like I said before, it's all about state. Eat that frog in the morning and trust God will take care of you. Trust that everything happens for a reason. Contextualization: "Worried about Bills but there's mothers who lose children to disease or accidents, so contextualize please. Also imagine the future people who would enjoy my stuff but now can't because I got hung up on some dental bill. Insanity."

Yes! That's precisely what happened. I wasn't bragging but I just shared things about my life that made this person jealous of me. Not on purpose, he shouldn't have asked if he don't want an answer 😑 But this person wasn't even trying to have a genuine conversation it was like they're a narcissist. Intuitively I did not enjoy this person's company at all but answered him to be polite. That might have also caused you some limiting beliefs as an adult, have you thought about that? I just found out about this stuff randomly on Youtube but after doing those Reiki healings I did feel the curse lifted. @Lila9 Does the person who cast the evil eye know they're doing it? Or it is not on purpose?

@Leo Gura I wonder why you have called nondualists out in the past so viciously. Won't a completely nondual awakening be absolutely fantastic? That's what we're all looking for! I think the truth seeking human, on a feeling level, is really after this. So Leo, even though you have seen higher truths than nonduality, so what? Or do you believe that having a completely awakening is still a recipe for devilery, even when combined with your entire body of work? Why go Alien X? It might be true but why not get us all to nondual awakening first? This is very confusing. And yes I very much love Leo and his work and this community ❤️

Yes I agree. So everyone's life is different and different paths, and probably different ways to describe the phenomenon happening. So this type of discussion is kind of useless but i knew that already. But I get confused when Leo speaks of different levels of awakening. When I speak truths from my own observation, such as all is one, and I Am, then I think Leo would be there to say "that's nothing, you're infinity distance from awakening". But Leo can say that always. Like however much progress you make, there will always be a Leo who will say that's not real awakening. I've said this before: there's a real chance that Alien X and all content Leo made AFTER the solipsism episode is a test to see how stupid people are. That awakening happens as it does, solipsism is all there is to it, but we keep creating dualities and want Daddy Leo to guide us so he will continue to trick us. But really, YOU know the truth. Idk.

I'm not arguing with you anymore either. Screw you guys, I'm going home 🤷

Ok interesting. So would you say that doing this work Nonduality is only one of the first stops before going further and deeper, so to speak? I feel that as I do this work, reality is nondual, hence the post and title. What I mean by that is everything is an infinite "I Am", God is an infinite shapeshifter into different "I Ams". But yeah there's probably much more to it than this. I just put that in my post cause I think sometimes I sound like an asshole when I take a critical stance on Leo just for the sake of argument 😁

What do you mean?

No it's not I AM = I AM I am is God's name

I am

Day 36: Problems can never be solved from the same place they were created. Today I woke up late, not feeling the best, and I was being consumed by my problem thoughts. I recognize now that these thoughts of fear and doubt are created in a certain state of being. It's important to recognize states of being. The Tony Robbins Priming exercise is now my most important daily habit as it really gets me to more awareness, overall this week has been quite magical. These past few days I've been more social and more playful, which is an absolute game changer. It opens up the gates towards sharing my gifts with the world, and plucking the fruits of what is out there. Imagine living your whole life in your neurotic thoughts, missing all the beauty that's out there, that'd be a waste of life. In the process of reaching my goals I will have to become something different from the old me who created these problems. And that can only be created by being closer to blank canvas and having fewer attachments. Note that I'm not just trying to make $10K pm but am also looking to do this in an authentic, fulfilling way. You could say that in addition to strategies I'm also exploring and doing inner work that just happens as a byproduct. (there's a different version of this on his Spotify that I recommend where he solo comments on the episode after the original) Faith and Resistance: There could be a discrepancy between what I'm divinely guided towards or naturally incline towards and what I've set out towards rationally. Or maybe they're the same, who knows. I have to be open and trusting of the Universe in this process.