LaucherJunge

@Heart of Space Sexuality is the strongest force that drives humans. To deny a mans sexual desires for beauty and to pretend as if it doesn't matter is surely not the right way, obviously you don't say things like you are an 8 in a womens face, it is just a tool to make conversation about this subject. The way of romance is not the only way of living, that is for sure even though I am not a fan of this one-night-stand culture and say this as someone who only wants to have sex with women who are a potential partner for a romantic relationship. I see that this is very common in this forum that people tend to draw conclusions from people who are talking about living in society, just because I talk that way does not mean that it is my natural view on this topic, it merely is an adaptation which makes living in our very unconscious society possible. You know how few women there are who would be a potential partner for you if you were just this cave meditator with the most advanced spiritual views practicing them in reality, just holding those views is great but living in society is different, for now atleast.

@SFRL@egoless Maybe you are right, but honestly i don't believe that it is the only way. You can also improve with women when you just try it with the 8-10 ones. But obviously as you said I am really inexperienced. Another point for me is that I see beauty as a very crucial part of my life, I would go so far as to say searching for beauty in all things is my life purpose.

It is exactly the same thing for me, doesn't make sense trying to be with a girl you are not attracted to. I made the decision that even if i will stay alone forever I won't try it with girls im not attracted to but I can relate, it is compelling trying to lower the scale but in the end you are lying to her and yourself.

Yea, i know exactly what you mean. I am also not even considering any girls under 8-10 out of 10. But I have to disappoint you I actually look good and it doesen't really do much for the 8-10 because I am just 1.71 m / 5'6" although i have gotten compliments even from girls who are like a 10 but it goes more in the direction you are cute and not you are handsome even though i have respectable muscles, many only go for really tall guys.

You can always meditate no matter what you are doing or not doing.

I feel like the area im making the least progress in is self love. So i want to ask you all what are your ways to practise self love?

I think my problem is not that I am rejecting myself, because i don't really have a problem with other people. It's just beautiful girls I have such problems with, probably I project too much onto them. What i also just noticed is, she wrote to me that she doesn't have time to write with me because her best friend(female) is there. And all that crazy monkey mind is gone from that point on. It seems like it's the uncertainty why she doesen't write back for so long that makes me go so crazy, also this seems to be just one way when she wrote to me I can write back even at the next day without really having this problem. Edit: Problem solved atleast by proxy, just doing the Do Nothing meditation and letting out the monkey mind without engaging in it solved that issue.

I recently wrote again to a girl from my past with the mindset of just giving. The thing about her is that she is very rejecting in a way that just makes me more attracted. My mind is totally going crazy about her all the time, I am just desperately waiting for her to write back 1 sentence while i write back whole texts, although I managed to resolve all the pain which I felt about this situation for good, but still my mind is in a totally disturbed state I can't start doing anything and without meditating for multiple hours a day i would probably go mad or something. But the problem is the more rejecting she is the more I am attracted, sure I can just completely stop to communicate with her but i actually want to grow and finally resolve this issue in myself, I always thought it was my emotions driving me to be like that but now I see that they aren't because even without any pain caused at all my mind goes crazy.

That is exactly what I was asking for in this thread, how to not let my mind disturb me at all even though it is going crazy. Sure i can go meditate and i can focus on my breath or anything else at any given time but if i want to interact with girls and people for that matter I will have to think from time to time, also when sleeping I can't really meditate and i feel at the next day how this situation is giving me a headache after waking up for all of the day. A cave meditator doesn't have to care about such things, I know that but I actually want to function in society and not be the next Eckhart Tolle.

Yes i can be in such a state, I know that my mind is projecting but it doesn't change the outcome. Well how exactly am i supposed to get fulfilled as a man?

I thought the same thing recently but I don't see this working for me anymore. It was for a time and i decided to write to a girl from my past recently with a mindset of just loving and giving. But i still can't really deal with it, i resolved the emotional pain i had everytime she rejects me with an answer, but the main issue is that I am more attracted to her in an egoic way when she acts like this and I find myself just waiting for her 1 sentence answer and writing whole texts back and it makes her just more attractive the less she writes back. Only if i really focus on my breath or something else for a meditation im not totally caught up in thinking about her.

@egoless My answer actually included this, read again. @Nahm Im coming from Intuition.

Consciousness is projected into the body, when the body dies and the ego with it the projection gets cut. Now the projection of consciouness starts in another body but the source of it is always the same, so it is not exactly a reincarnation atleast if you look at the deepest level of truth, you can go to more fragmented dimensions and there you might find some other form of identity or attributes from which the new ego emerges as the old one that died already.

I think you are correct. Many people don't realize how much work and commitment this needs. I started losing motivation to really commit to enlightenment a long time ago because the main force that was driving me was suffering. There is no suffering anymore in my life there is just pain occaisonally which is a part of life, even of an enlightened one. This doesen't mean that i don't practise anything on the contrary I do it merely for the sake of growth, health and maybe egoic happiness but I don't care much about enlightenment anymore.

Right and wrong only exists because your ego exists. The ego distorts reality because it is limited while reality is not, atleast not in a way we could ever understand, because we don't even understand true inifnity with our mind without any concept, which again is limited. Only without the ego trough clear consciousness you see reality as it is. So essentially there is actually right or wrong as a construct of the ego which also is a construct itself. Now the question that remains is, is the construct real? A Human that is made of atoms is a human or does he remain atoms? The answer is always a matter of perspective are you looking from the deepest truth, the root of everything or are you looking from the world of labels and concepts?

@Emerald I like what you said but there is much more to it. I will admit that i have issues around this subject but not in this way. I guess im too far out in the extremes, too much black and white thinking on this subject. I guess my defense mechanism behind this is very deep since the only reason I got into spirituality was the pain caused by a lack of love, i have been very very emotional in the past and fell in love instantly and very deeply for years and years with girls that were in my class could not really help it. It is very painfull to be so deeply in love for such a long time without getting back anything. This was my old view on this now it is way different. I know now that true love is unconditional it is just compassion and i show this compassion towards my surroundings. This doesen't cause me pain like the old way of seeing it did. And im afraid if I start to try to get into a relationship i will end up in the old pattern again because of the influence of society. That is why I don't want to get anything back and try to stay away from women. I don't see a reason to change this. I am very happy with my life as it is and rarely is anything that happens painful compared to the pain I already have been trough I live in paradise for almost 2 years now already. And even if i feel a little bad from time to time i already learned to embrace it a long time ago. The time spans of feeling bad for me reduced drastically over the last 2 years now i don't even remember how many weeks ago i was not totally happy. Even when I am lazy at meditating and don't do it daily for a time and also don't try to be aware troughout the day I am on a level where i can't really fall deeper than feeling well, I think it is simply that i transformed my unconscious patterns which may take over without being aware into healthy ones compared to before. I may be stuck in a kind of comfort zone on this but I don't really see why this is bad in any way when im happy with it and continue to grow my awareness, some day it may change automatically of course. And I don't say that if there is a chance for a good relationship i will not take it, it is just that i didn't meet any women so far that seemed to be spiritual in any way and even if that still doesn't mean that i find her attractive and resonate with her. So for me this is just calculations that pretty much makes me see this as just a "dream". Without being exact on this. Lets say there are about 2 million people that live close enough to me now lets take just half of it because its supposed to be a women. 1 million left now the age will have to be 18-24, since I don't have a number on this i will be very generous and say its 300 thousand. How many of those are attractive enough for me? not only looks obviously. Lets say 100 thousand which is probably also generous. Of those 100 thousand we have at least 30 thousand muslims who wouldn't be allowed to have a relationship with me, their family might even try to kill them for such things, it happens regularely in germany it is called ehrenmord(honorkill). 70 thousand left. How many of those would be okay with a guy who is 1,71m or 5'6" difficult to answer but surely not more than 40 thousand probably way less but lets say she gives me a chance. How many of those are actually spiritual or wouldn't think im crazy, maybe 5 thousand? Now how many of those 5 thousand have a boyfriend? more than half of them. Now we are at 2 thousand and now try to see if we even fit together in any way which would again sort out a big chunk now find those few within 2 million people while there are tons of guys willing to approach any women that comes their way. While I try to be friends with them, they will have pretty much free choice while i don't even have an alternative.

Where did you get the notion that if you express an opinion you are stuck with it in any way? I speak out my opinions openly all the time and change them if i have new insights. Also don't forget true or false are both the same thing on the deepest level as is death and life the boundries cease to exist at one point. Also on another level true or false is a subjective question, a question of perspective, if you think a human could ever hold real universal truth you are probably wrong. Because universal truth can not be expressed by anything that is less than absolute infinity, so the only assumption to make is that everything is true and false at the same time.

There is no you to percieve anything when you are dead obviously the ego is bound to the body. Consciousness is not ego thats all spirituality is about to finally be able to aknowledge the truth behind it all, consciousness. If your ego dies you will percieve whole different worlds like people do on psychedelics for example.

@Emerald That is not how i see friendship and sex this is what society sees it at. Obviously you still live in a society if you are not a cave meditator that has its own rules those are not defined by me, instead this is what I see on a daily basis. If you think you can just ignore society by being "transcendental" then you are wrong, those rules still apply to you to a degree even if it's just the mask you put on occaisonaly to not get into trouble. And even more so it applies if you are talking about a relationship to someone within this society, do you think i can just be what i want to be without any consequences in relationship I am not in a romantic relationship for years already just because of this reason because i can't put on this mask for that long and spirituality is sadly still uncommon. And this is also the reason i don't want a friendship with a women.

Seems to me like one point was not mentioned at all here. There are many men who are not at all interested in a friendship with a women. I am one of them. My fields of interest usually don't go together with women so why would i have a female friend as opposed to a male friend. So this a strong point why it actually is called friend-zone by most men, it is actually the worst case because the women just wants to use you without giving anything of value to you from your perspective.Now if you would call it default zone as a guy it doesn't include the part of being friends, well what else is there than being attracted or being friends? The problem here is that sex is a currency for most women they pay the guys they are attracted to with and friendship is a currency they are being paid with. So now they are taking currency of men who won't get the payment and don't actually take currency of friendship from people who they actually pay with sex. Now the guys who don't get laid always pay and never get a payback while they see other guys who don't actually pay the women get paid by that women. So the frustration on this part is acually very much justified. That's why i think women actually have a higher social privilage and that's why i really don't understand feminists. Another point i would like to make is that there is actually also a attracted or not filter for women im noticing it daily. A lot of women filter for tall men if you are not a tall guy you don't stand a chance for the majority of women and now if they actually filtered you out as "not a tall guy" in the first place and they do try to have a relationship they again want to get paid with friendship without ever considering to give you something back for it, so obviously you will be carefull for that kinds of women. If i hear a women ever saying something good about tall guys i automatically lose attraction towards her nowadays. Now this was just an example there are other factors that behave the same way like wealth and even inner factors like aggressivity and humor or such. So most women have their own big factors which determine your scale of 1-10, this happens already in a few moments and if your score is not high enough you actually are in a friend zone. That is my observations atleast.

God is everything in nothing and nothing in everything.

It is the hardest state to achieve because your ego holds you back from it. Your ego is there for a reason you are supposed to be in the illusion that you have limits instead of being this absolute infinity being. So you are basically working against the illusion "you" made yourself as absolute infinity which in the end is possible because you are obviously all-powerful beneath this illusion you just have to realize it whereas the limits of ego still apply if you don't put in the work. I never prefered parting, drinking etc. over meditation honestly, i had other interests to begin with but those frequently change somewhat. I don't really see meditation as something to do anymore though, so i can't compare it to any activity anymore. It has the quality of awarness and not doing thats why its not comparable, for example i can still do all those activities while meditating.

It's an incongruence between your brain halves. One half of your brain recieves the information and for the other it is delayed by a very small amount of time which leads to this wierd notion that you have been trough this already when they are synchronized again. This would be the scientific explanation. A cool explanation would be that you shift your reality to a parallel universe or something like that, well maybe both are right and this is what is actually causing the delay.

It's a good thing to want nothing. To want is to be trapped. I also have this for some time now, instead of wanting anything i just let life happen to me and see what society makes me to be although I still have a mask I put on occaisonally for the convinience sake in society. I mean would be wierd if people ask you why are you even here in this school, at this job and you don't have any goals to tell someone. Yet there are things that interest me but this doesn't mean i want to achieve anything in them. You already have everything inside, this becomes experiential or apparent at some point, thats why you don't want anything. This is atleast the case if you don't feel really depressed then it might be the other way around that you are very far from your true being. So now is time to use this playground of life to have some fun in the perspective of this being.

Meditation improves your quality of life all the time. Enlightenment has nothing to do with it. You can live a life full of ego, do your meditations and be alright of course if you don't surrender the ego you won't get enlightened but the benefits of doing meditation itself are overwhelming enough already even science proves this already and there are surely benefits beyond just science.