pgchollet

You have a lot going on around you. I'm wondering what your psychologist has to say about all of this. He or she ought to be giving you strategies and helping you build a skill set to deal with situations such as diet, communication, and your negative thinking pattern. It sounds to me that you're experiencing issues with, "learned helplessness'. Learned helplessness was first observed while observing animals. It occurs when an animal is repeatedly subjected to an aversive stimulus that it cannot escape. Eventually, the animal will stop trying to avoid the stimulus and behave as if it is utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when opportunities to escape are presented, learned helplessness will prevent any action. You seem to be taking action by see a psychologist but there is "seeing" a psychologist and, SEEING a psychologist. If you feel the psychologist isn't helping you need to express your dissatisfaction, what's working and what's not. Believe me, it's the psychologist's job to help you if he or she can't then they need to refer you to someone who can. I'd suggest looking for someone who specializes In cognitive behavioral therapy, that's an acton based and will help stop you from being so immobilized and disempowered. I have a question when you say you're not being taken, 'seriously" what does that mean? What should your parents or anyone else do for you do feel as if you're being taken, "seriously"? Perhaps making a list of things they could do would help them and you work together. And if you're not telling your psychologist you're having thoughts of suicide , that's a MAJOR red flag, it's very serious.It shows that you're not being completely open with your therapist. You're expecting someone to help you and you're not honestly expressing you feelings. Are you taking yourself seriously?

Hi Aeli, Well, this makes the picture a bit clearer and you really seem to know what’s going on. You kind of have a tough one on your hands for two reasons. 1. Your age 2. Culture and religious beliefs. Those two areas are jam-packed with potential parent-child issues and problems.. One suggestion I have off the bat is to stay focused on what you can control. Its counter productive to, “build your case” by focusing on your Mom’s behavior with anyone other than you. For example, what your Mom tells other people, or how loudly she speaks to other people, that’s out of your control. Try to think of that as inviting negative energy into your space.. Instead, focus on those times when you see your mom in a kind and loving light. As I said before, we don’t know what your Mom has is dealing with in her life. I can say that it’s tough for Mom’s to shift from being the center of your child’s world to being the person they actively try to avoid. Also, I’m sure she realizes that your beliefs systems are at odds; this is a major issue for parents. A big part of this solution Aeli, is you doing what you need to do to get through this period without resenting your mom. One-way to approach this is to look at the people in our lives who make our heads explode as our, “true Mentors” in life. Perhaps tolerance and acceptance are 2 areas is your life that needs work. You mention extrovert and introvert personalities so, it sounds like you KNOW a big part of the problem. Have you talked to your Mother about these terms? You can even look on the Internet for articles on this subject. A way to approach this might be to print out some information and leave it for her to read. I’d suggest avoiding “devils advocate” at this time this is another negative energy practice, instead look for moments when you can get along. What your doing now is similar to a spouse who wants out of a marriage Instead of focusing on the good that’s there or was there, they begin focusing on the annoying things, and this builds up more and more resentment until all the bridges and connections between them explode. . The bottom line is she is your mom, and that’s a mighty strong attachment that can make or break the best of us. But if you feel that you mom’s true intent is love for you it’s worth riding this out. And be aware that part, not all, but part of this is developmental. 16 is a tough time there’s a lot going on. I hope this helps.

How anyone can identify the source of your problem Aeli is beyond me. A "deep wound"? Wow , that's a stretch, I don't know, don't see where that conclusion came from with the information you provided. Not having doors is a MAJOR factor in this situation. And it's curious that you couple your Mom's "singing" with her "yelling". Usually when people sing, they're happy, not angry. So it isn't that your mom is angry all the time, is it that she's "loud"? Do you think some degree of your anger is annoyance ? Do you feel that your mom's intent is to hurt you by speaking loudly? Is she aware of how you feel about her voice? What else is going on in your home? See, there' a lot of information still out there. Perhaps the first step is to make your feelings known. I don't know how old your Mother is, but I know when my mom got older she began speaking much louder because she began losing her hearing..One thing to keep in mind Aeli is, nothing is EVER about one thing. My grandmother had an expression, "the thinnest pancake has 2 sides"; it's so true. Before you begin looking for deep wounds, it might be beneficial to get everyone on the same page and try some old fashioned kind ,productive communication and problem solving. One more thing to consider is your age. How a parent's behavior affects us changes with each decade of our life. It sounds a little like like you're ready to spread you wings and fly. I'd love to more about what's going on so I can give more concrete feedback. Take care.

Hi Abhijeeth Your vision as a student? What's you vision as person?.If you know and are able to define your values, beliefs and what you want to offer the world as a person , the rest will follow

HI OceanJjb Although I’m a psychologist, I’m not a big advocate of labels; I think they get us into trouble. Here’s why, I’ve found over the years that nothing is ever about ONE thing. For example, you say your “depressed”, I’m not doubting your feelings of depression I understand they are very real. However, you’ve taken positive steps towards finding help for your feelings of depression. One of the hallmark characteristics of someone who is depressed is they are “HOPELESS”, they don’t do use statements such as, “I’m desperately looking for where I can fit it” those aren’t the words of depression. Also, a depressed person wouldn’t read books, do yoga, or go to a forum and say, I want somebody to “kick my ass”! These are all very positive signs. Sometimes people get into this downward spiral of helplessness that results in feelings of hopelessness and feelings of inadequacies. Your trying to make changes to feel better but nothing seems to working. I call this, “being in the right city with the wrong map”. Let’s say I send you to New York City and I want you to find the Empire State Building. I even give you a map so you won’t get lost. But I made a BIG mistake and instead of giving you a map of New York City, I give you a map of Los Angeles! You call me and say, “I’m looking at this map and I can’t find WHERE the Empire State building is located”! I say, “You’re not trying hard enough, LOOK closer, it’s there, it’s a MAP. You must be doing something wrong”! Guess what, no matter how much you work that map of LA, it’s never going to help you find what you’re looking for in NYC I’m suggesting that you tried various maps or techniques to help you with your depression, but what you have tried isn’t getting you to where you want to be. But, it’s caused you to continue in downward spiral feeling overwhelmed by your feelings helplessness and hopelessness. What I find is the most helpful technique is to first, get out of your head. Part of the reason you feel depressed is that you’re thinking depressing thoughts. Start small: Get a little memo pad make sections for morning, afternoon and evening. For 7 days mark every time you automatically think or say a negative statement about yourself or your situation. Also, write what you were doing at the time. After a week you’ll notice see a pattern and notice “triggers’ that might be setting off the downward spiral. You may find that having to be more conscious and in control of your thinking pattern will help you feel less depressed. Try it and let me know how you do.

I want to start off by thanking you all for sharing your personal stories with depression. I think what each of your accounts exemplifies the distinctive nature of depression. Just as the circumstances, range of severity and experiences are different, so is depression and there are different types and spectrums. Depression isn’t one-size fits all and we don’t wake up one morning and feel “depressed” Depression is the end product of mixing together a lot of stuff. What I’ve discovered is that people want to rid of themselves of uncomfortable feelings and impulses. For example, they focus all their energy on tying NOT to be depressed, NOT to stress or NOT to overeat. And it can feel like in tying to hold water in your hand, the water is designed to flow, trying to stop it by clenching your fist tighter and tighter is futile. And then we get feelings of failure like, “what am I doing wrong, I’m breathing, meditating, keeping a journal and I’m still depressed”. And that’s no fun. But I believe we all strive to reconnect with our natural states of peace, balance and oneness. Our feelings of depression and anxiety are friendly signals telling us things are out of whack, “you are off balance”. I practice Ashtanga yoga, and there are days when some trying to find my balance in an asana is an uphill struggle. But resisting the swaying and tripping makes it worse. I have to stop and internally scan my body to discover where the problem is and what adjustments I need to make to get back to my natural state of being in balance. So the tottering and teetering of my body is a good thing because it’s telling me I’m out of balance. And that’s how I view feelings of depression and anxiety , as signals telling us we’re not in our natural balanced state of peach and oneness. Instead of trying to stop and feel better, I found it helps to go deeper, do an internal scan and discover where it is and what you need to adjust to get back in balance, whether it’s chemical, situational, or genetic tendency.

Hello Everyone! This is so exciting! We all officially, got in on the ground floor"! How cool is that?

Mayday84 your suggestions are wonderful. However, I think it's wise not to make blanket statements about psychological disorders especially when they're not correct. You said , everyone suffers from PTSD, it's part of human condition., that just isn't the case. Every emotional issue isn't a by product of PTSD at all. It's important when using terms that are actual diagnostic terms that you're not giving our misinformation that could potentially harm someone. PTSD isn't the same as a panic attack. in fact, there is a huge difference between a panic attack and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. A person who has PTSD had or was exposed to a traumatic experience. They may have experienced the trauma, witnessed the trauma, learns that the trauma happened to a loved one or is subject to extreme exposure of the horrific details of an event, such as media content. What happens with PTSD is after either, experiencing, witnessing, being told, or being exposed to a traumatic event, the person experiences severe emotional and social impairments.They're so distressed about the experience that they lose their ability to functioning in their work and personal life. A panic attack isn't a disorder like PTSD. A panic attack "happens" and is one of the characteristics of Panic Disorder. A panic attack happens suddenly. A person feels intense fear and, it rises, peaks, and flows outward. I would tell my clients to thinks of a huge wave swelling and breaking in the ocean. Or if your a mom kind of like a contraction. The tricky thing about panic attacks is that they can start even when your feel very calm. Your tips are very useful and would help anyone who is experiencing anxiety. I know people use terms such as PTSD, ADHD ,Bipolar, Depression freely, but they are specific diagnostics disorders. What happens when we throw around terms is, they become so "common" that the disorder loses its significance. And you hear expressions like, "Oh, you're just depressed" or "She's crazy, she must be Bipolar". A disorder is then reduce to a painful "Label".