Yarco

It feels like there's a little boy deep inside me trapped in a thick concrete box, screaming in agony. And no one else can hear him scream but me. I can't just hear it, I can feel the agony resonating throughout my body. You know those medieval hell paintings where people are burning and screaming? That's what it feels like inside every day. There's a black pit in my chest where my heart used to be. I can remember when maybe it used to be the size of a softball. At this point it feels like it's the size of a watermelon. I don't really feel anything any more, it just automatically goes into the pit of despair. It's a constant source of anxiety, stress, and tension. The only things I really feel any more are numbness, rage, sorrow, and maybe occasionally relief. I don't remember the last time I was happy or what happiness feels like. Maybe almost 20-ish years ago when I was in grade 7. Maybe there's a more recent time I can't think of. I didn't feel happy on my wedding day or when my child was born. The closest thing I feel to happiness is relief. Like the darkness inside temporarily lifts just a little. Like someone is stepping on your neck 24/7 and they let off partially and momentarily, just so you can wheeze in half a breath. I think I'm a fat pathetic worthless loser. There's a voice in my head that tells me to kill myself every day. Not like schizophrenia or anything. It's my voice, but it's like a recording that plays at random times, like a compulsion. I can't see myself ever killing myself but maybe if I was less of a selfish coward I would have years ago. I don't think I can tell anyone how I feel without being institutionalized or ostracized. If I told my partner I honestly think she would say I'm hugely over-exaggerating and blowing things out of proportions, because I've never really said how I felt at all, so all of this would come out of left field. But it's been going on and getting worse for years. If enough people told me I'm exaggerating I'd probably be gaslit into believing it. I don't think psychology can help me at this point. I would need like 90 days of intense rehabilitation in an institutional setting or something. I don't want to take pharmaceuticals to paint over this. I kind of want to try mushrooms but my partner super disapproves of it. And maybe it would just cause an incredibly bad trip since I would probably be unable to give up control anyway. There is so much darkness inside of me that I feel like I need an exorcism by a Catholic priest or something more than a therapist. People talk about burning karma, I need to burn out this darkness. There's a lot of darkness there, once you start that fire it's going to burn for a long time. What I'm describing sounds horrific but I'm so acclimated to it that it's my normal. I can't fathom feeling light and happy and full of energy. At this point agony and paralyzing anxiety is just my baseline, it's like background noise, the bare minimum that I expect to be there. The weird thing is I feel like this is pretty normal. I'm a relatively well-functioning person in terms of society and success. I bet a lot of people who say they're fine when you ask really feel like this. I think far more people probably feel closer to this than happiness.

Maybe there's nothing wrong with you, maybe that's just the natural order of the world. Maybe winter is meant to be a time of quiet reflection and rest. What do you think our ancestors did when there was only 8 hours of daylight, no electricity, and too cold to go outside? What does every animal besides humans do in winter? Maybe you should do that. What people have been doing in winter for generations. Spending time with family, reading books, doing relaxing indoor hobbies. Gogogo 365/24/7 productivity is a relatively new invention

Basically BS and a waste of money, unless you're getting placebo benefits from it. All human blood is already naturally alkaline, around 7 pH. If you were able to significantly alter this with a few glasses of water, you'd die. Your stomach is highly acidic and neutralizes anything alkaline you put into it unless you really overdo it. Once your stomach acid enters your digestive system, your pancreas releases alkaline secretions to neutralize it anyway. If a couple of glasses of alkaline water a day could substantially affect your health, then eating highly acidic stuff like lemons or vinegar would probably kill you too, but it doesn't. In fact, drinking water with a bit of acidic lemon in it actually has an ALKALIZING effect. Wtf? Basically your body has a ton of complicated balancing mechanisms to maintain homeostasis and prevent you from dying no matter what you eat, unless it's bleach or something crazy. It's very hard (and probably dangerous) to try and sway this one way or the other with external stimuli. Otherwise we'd also see tons of people recommending that you should eat/drink baking soda daily to reduce acid in your body as well. That'd be a way cheaper way to do it than any alkaline water machines. But there's no money to be made in that. Just Google "alkaline water debunked" and read a few reputable sources. I don't know if you'll ever find a university or academic paper touting the benefits of alkaline water.

I think long-form communication is good for converting people to ways of thinking or particular complex ideologies. When you watch someone like Joe Rogan, Twitch streamers like Destiny, or anyone else every week, you form a parasocial relationship where you start to see him as a friend and someone who has your best interest at heart. They aren't just messengers of information like a news anchor, there's a bond and level of trust there. It's basically a form of propaganda that can form strong cult-like followings. They might discuss different topics every week, but there's always some common underlying thread they're trying to get across to you. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, depending who it is and how they use it. You can use long-form conversations to make someone a capitalist or anti-capitalist, or a conspiracy theorist, or a white nationalist, or a member of antifa, or a Christian or an atheist, if they listen to you long enough. I'm in the process of starting to script episodes for my own podcast and accompanying Youtube (and other platforms) show at the moment because I think audio/video is probably a far easier way to reach people and far less competitive than blogs and traditional websites. It's probably the most effective form of media available right now, whether you have a message or a product to sell.

Looking at my book shelf, probably less than 30 books since I graduated from high school, not including college/university textbooks. Don't underestimate the value and knowledge you can get from websites or videos. My Youtube app on my phone says I've watched over 20 hours of video in the past 7 days, I'd say about 50% of that is educational / self-help material and I don't know if it takes into account that I watch most things at 2x - 3x speed. I don't think most books are worth reading and it's usually a struggle to finish them. Most books say in 50,000 words what could be conveyed in 2,000. I think if you started reading book summaries instead of full books, you'd get 80% of the benefit in 20% of the amount of time. I think there are paid websites similar to Audible where you can get professionally-written summaries with all the good points extracted. Don't develop a fetish or "I am so smart" ego for reading lots of books. I'm a university-educated dude and the pretentiousness that I feel when I walk into a book store makes even me uncomfortable and unwelcome, it makes me sick. If I have to pick a book to recommend that probably nobody else will recommend... Mind Hacking Happiness Volume I and II by Sean Webb.

I think it's similar to the nature vs nurture debate. Everyone has natural talents and inclinations. I think your life purpose is finding a current role in society that best fits your personality and interests. I don't know if I can assign a % constructed vs % natural. It's more like you need to start with the natural, and then find a way to construct something from that. You need a checklist of prerequisites to be a good fit for a particular life purpose. If your life purpose today is computer programming... what would your life purpose have been 100 years before computers? You'd adjust to the next-best-fit. Probably mathematics in general, maybe some kind of analogue logic programming, or making contraptions out of gears.

Graphics of Game-A look way better

I think it depends on your age. If you're in your early 20s I wouldn't feel so guilty and beat yourself up about it. If you're in your 30s and still haven't got your life together, then yeah, maybe the feelings are warranted. Kids are staying at home later and later nowadays. Part of that is the job market and other factors that make it an uphill battle for them. 30% of first time homebuyers need their parents to gift them a down payment or it'd be impossible for them to buy a house in the current housing market. Realize that maybe you aren't doing absolutely everything you can, but also acknowledge that you've probably been dealt a bad hand in terms of covid and the overall economy too. When I Google "what is the purpose of parents" it says: The primary purpose of parenting is to raise fully functional adults who can take care of themselves and make a positive contribution to society. I think that's exactly what you're looking for, and maybe your parents haven't helped you to become as functional as you could be. So I'd sit down and express your feelings with just your parents (f*** your sister) and see if they can help. If they won't let you pay for your own food or bills because they'd feel guilty, maybe they can at least take that money for you and give it back to you later when you move out or something.

Police were villainized and/or rendered unable to properly do their duties after all of the BLM protests, I don't know how you can expect any different. If I was a cop I'd be constantly afraid to lose my job or worse. Why are people suddenly robbing trains in LA? That kinda stuff hasn't happened since the Wild West days. It's just a lack of enforcement. Plus when people do get arrested, they get let out until their trial rather than put in jail... due to covid, lack of space, or whatever else. Even in my relatively small city in this is a huge problem.... one guy has attempted to sexually assault women on 5+ different occasions in broad daylight, keeps getting arrested and let back out. Everyone in town is outraged but can't do anything to stop it. People breaking into cars every night, people stealing catalytic converters every night, and most other crimes, are all "catch and release" as well. Inflation, joblessness, etc is creating more pressure for people to commit crime, but if police and more importantly THE COURTS showed they were actually tough on crime, it would deter most people. People will only do what they think they can get away with.

Not miserable except on rare occasions for a few hours at a time. But overall I'd say I'm at a 3-year low in terms of happiness. Nothing really bad has happened or is going on. Just generally feeling meaningless and purposeless with a complete lack of ambition. Sitting at home being gaslit by the news every day with stuff that's obviously false and watching governments make stupid policy after stupid policy is driving me a bit crazy as well.

All hedonistic things... great food, sex. Being near a waterfall. Going for a walk while it's snowing outside. The ability to create things... music, art, writing, ideas

Why does it have to be a hack, why can't you just fix it

If your goal is to lose weight rapidly, then no, not at all. Losing 2 lbs a week or less is pretty healthy and sustainable. 0.9% of your body weight is like 1.45 lbs a week. Give it a try and if you're feeling weak or unwell then you can always up your calories by 500 or so and see how you feel. It will just slow down weight loss progress. When I'm trying to lose weight I aim for 1,000 - 1,500 calories a day, although I'm 5'6" and have a sedentary job. People do 24, 48, 72 hour fasts where they eat 0 calories for multiple days. Depends how long you plan to do it for and how sustainable you want it to be.

Yes. The easiest way to achieve world peace ironically would be for a one-world authoritarian government to enforce it on all citizens and member nations through threat of violence. You could argue if it's really world peace if citizens are being jailed or sent to re-education camps or afraid to speak out or fight back. But by your definition of just not having warfare, then it would be successful. If we had a third world war and one nation ended up controlling the entire world by force, then by definition we would have world peace at least for a time. No one ever said world peace was rainbows and doves. World peace could still be an absolute dystopian hell-hole. Outside of something like I described above, I'd say no, or incredibly unlikely. Any time you have scarce resources there will be fighting.

Mostly just mutually assured destruction. In some cases it has come down to submarine captains, etc refusing to push the button. There's also more that goes into setting off a nuke than you think. Someone has to supply the codes that usually change every day IIRC. Usually at least 2 people have to turn keys simultaneously to initiate the launch, and the keyholes are too far apart in the room for one person to do it. There are multiple stages in the process where it could be stopped. If you want a more crazy out-there answer, look into all the reports about UFOs flying around nuclear missile facilities, de-arming / de-activating the warheads. UFOs likely prevented the cold war from getting hot at one point.

No, most humor is subverted expectations. When you think one thing is going to be said or done, and they do another. No pain or putting down required.

Same answer I gave on your post about finding your passion. Start with what you know - computer games. Computer games are how you interact, understand, and experience the world. It's a bit of a crutch, but at least it's a starting point. Your life purpose can come from unexpected places. For me, commenting online is something that doesn't feel like work, I don't get bored of it, I'd probably even pay to do it. When I thought deeply about why I comment online... to help people, to give advice or insight... suddenly a pretty mundane time-wasting thing like commenting on Reddit or Youtube becomes actually a noble purpose. Which led me to writing being my zone of genius. I can channel that energy and enjoyment I get from commenting into writing blogs, articles, books to help people that can be monetized and reach a wider audience. Try to branch out from playing computer games and see what feels right. Do you want to livestream yourself playing games and entertain people? Do you want to create your own games as a form of expression? Do you want to review games to help people save time and money? If you want to share your top values / signature strengths / high-consciousness virtue / etc I can try to suggest some ways of bringing it all together.

Do the life purpose course first and then find a skill aligned with your life purpose. It takes like a week or two maximum to complete the life purpose course if you spend a couple hours a day on it. Learning marketing, coding, or any other useful skill to a level that you can make money from it will take much, much, much, much longer. This look for skills is just a distraction. Finish the course and then do what you're truly called to do. Don't waste time learning a skill that isn't aligned with your ultimate purpose.

You have to evaluate it on a case-by-case basis. If it was as easy as just "share feelings" or "stay firm" all the time, it would be easy and there wouldn't be a huge pickup/dating scene. Once you're a true gentleman you'll be socially aware enough to know when to open up or not. Generally though, the earlier on when meeting someone, the less you want to share. Oversharing tends to scare people off. But if you were a super confident gentleman, you could also be completely authentic without scaring someone off. So there is no cookie-cutter answer.

A lion is a superior predator compared to an ostrich. It doesn't matter if it's born that way and had no choice in the matter, it's still superior. We both agree on this part. But if this is all you're talking about, then it renders the rest of the conversation useless. In the example I made above, we have to agree on basic concepts like what a predator is, what defines a good or bad predator. There are a number of underlying assumptions like that a better predator can kill larger and more prey, which is automatically baked into the conversation if you're a regular person living in society with common experiences. Yes good and bad are ultimately subjective. Although I'd argue that it doesn't really matter if it's subjective if the majority of people in society agree with it. Otherwise you could say that if you're naturally born with an urge to kill people, then it isn't better or worse than not killing people. You still have to play by the ruleset of society. If society says something is superior, it's de facto superior whether that makes sense or not. It will take tremendous strength and energy to try and oppose that. If you go down the subjectivity rabbit hole into postmodernism, you end up at a confusing place where most concepts like gender, sexuality, and age no longer exist and everything is on a spectrum. The reason we label stuff as superior, inferior, good, bad, man, woman is because it's helpful in our lives to compartmentalize things into boxes to simplify the world. Otherwise anything can be anything. Then nothing has meaning.

It's like any animal byproduct, it can be good or bad depending on the animal it comes from. Are you getting your gelatin from elderly dairy cows being culled after a lifetime of living in cramped quarters in a barn, eating GMO feed and standing in their own filth? Or an organic grass-fed cow harvested in its prime? If they don't specify, assume the worst.

Being a real gentleman vs a creepy white knight is a thin line to walk. Don't ever think women owe you anything just because you're being gentlemanly. Being a gentleman isn't just about being nice and romantic to women. A real gentleman is a bro to other guys as well. It's about being empathetic, considerate, and in-touch with all those around you. It's knowing when to offer a stranger a lighter, a coworker a ride home, or a classmate a pencil without them even having to ask. Before you can be a gentleman, first you have to be a man. Someone with the mindset of a boy can't be a gentleman. I think Art of Manliness' old stuff is a good place to start. You need the confidence of a man to be a gentleman, and that comes with having a wide array of manly knowledge and skills.

Just tell them that you're going for a walk. Even if your primary goal is day game, it's not a lie to say that you're also going for a walk. Going for a walk is a normal thing that normal people do. Even a white lie like saying you're going to the shop isn't that out of integrity I don't think. Just don't be a creep and force women to engage in conversations too long if they're obviously uncomfortable and you already have more integrity than most guys.

Some people are taller than others. So by their very nature they're superior at reaching for objects that are higher up unassisted. We can keep it as simple as that. There are people that are both superior and inferior to me in terms of height, intelligence, physical strength, and limitless other factors. Being intrinsically better at something is inherently superior by definition. If you had the option, you'd never choose to be worse at something beneficial. Whether it's something to brag about is up for debate. Whether being naturally gifted at something makes you superior, I don't think is up for debate, it's just a fact. Being superior in no way means you need to commit atrocities or treat them as less than human. You can recognize that someone is inferior without seeing them as less than yourself. Right now you might be seeing the word "inferior" as a loaded term with more baggage than it deserves. If you're a better artist or chess player than your friend, do you suddenly want to kill them? Equality of opportunity is a noble goal. Giving everyone a chance. Equality of outcome is naive, putting people undeserving in positions they shouldn't be, just to meet a diversity quota.

Consider becoming a life coach instead. With an accredited organization it'll take you about 1 year instead of 5 and only cost a few thousand dollars I think. Leo and Emerald (The Diamond Net) have done these kinds of courses, I don't know any specifics or what organizations are reputable so you'd have to research more for yourself.