Nahm

Hi and welcome! You posted in the right forum. I find this group to be open and honest, which makes for fun and growth. We're all getting what we're giving. When you say lonely, is it somewhat like you can see the causations that others can not? I think I can relate. I went through a period when I started following my daily rituals. Sometimes, when my friends communicated a negative outlook, I found that they seem to think it was a more accurate view of reality. I used to say things like - you just need some exercise, you should try meditation. I thought if they did what I was doing, they would see that it was their outlook or perspective that was ailing them and holding them back, not "reality" or circumstances. I found that there is a safeguard of sorts, for experience. I started to realize how this served me. It helped me realize just how easily I would shift from my vision, my knowing, to understanding where they were at, where they were coming from. I gained a lot of clarity about the power of keeping my own focus on what I know and what I am. Ironically, nonhelp, nonsuggestion- left them with a realization (in their witnessing of my noncodependent thinking) that what ailed them was their perspective. Suddenly, everyone I know started doing personal development to different extents.

I left the "work" for itself to be, I allowed my Self to set me free, never once did I repeat, the cycle of doubt, the strife or need. In the "work" I began to see, the plight was created by only me, So now I flourish without exception, pure in thought, this nonrejection, 'twas only perspective that was in question, And now my present is my conception.

@JustASimpleBuggler The path isn't the circumstances, it's the thoughts your choosing. If you focus or think from a place of fear, or about what you are afraid of, you may be going about it wrong. You may be laying resistant thought to what you want that you will have to let go of. To the extent I keep my focus on what I want, I reach it.

@JustASimpleBuggler That gives me a vibe (intuition probably) that you're on the cusp of a big realization. Game changer. ...............

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@renegade_bee Don't think about suicide man. You gotta have the logic to know that you're only 18 and everything will change. When I was 20 I had severe manic depression. Dr's and pills never helped me, unfortunately. That all changed by age 22 and my life has just Gotten better and better ever since. I was where you are man. Please hear me - you are just getting started in this life. You don't know what the rest will look like. Just hang in there and keep trying things. I garuntee if you keep going and keep trying, you absolutely will find the cure for your UTI. You will. It could be only a month away. The right Dr often makes all the difference. If YOU DON'T GIVE UP, YOU WILL SEE THAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE SWEET LIFE OF SOMEONE WHO SURPASSES EVERYONE'S WILDEST DREAMS BECAUSE WHEN OTHERS GAVE UP, YOU DIDN'T. DON'T GIVE UP.

@aclokay Well, what are you?

You are finding what you are looking for. Look for what you want. Have you written a list of what you want to taped it to the wall? Have you listened to any positive speakers on YouTube? I think I was where you are now. It sounds like you are 'in your head'. Writing things on paper gets them out of your head and into your life.

If you had what you wanted, which seems to be that everyone understands you, then what? What is that going to do for you?

Knowledge nuke right there. BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

sounds like you had a sizable breakthrough. Keep going. Keep choosing your thoughts, not someone else's. If you want those relationships, then stop talking so damn much. Nobody is listening to you anyways. Ask someone a questions, listen intently, repeat. This forum is the place for your path talk, not the sheeple. There is no such thing as remaining positive when your life is crumbling around you. You are on the path for sure, but not very far. Perhaps you are young, that's your fault. You are buying into the illusion. If you were honestly remaining positive, your life would not be crumbling around you. Remaining positive is not some fucking card trick. You are creating your reality. Give me an example of what is crumbling in your life, and I'll show you where you stand to improve your perspective.

Wife and kids is awesome. It's your perspective that ails you. So how to change your perspective? It came from the influences around you most likely (people, movies, internet, books) Realize you picked those influences, so your are empowered to pick new ones. Out with the old negative stuff influencing you, and add the new positive stuff. Do you even Abe, brah?

He's right. I went through this. Everyone who wakes up and gets living goes through this. Think about this, if there was one delicious brownie left on earth, and you are the lucky sob who gets to eat it, and that first bite is mind blowing, just heavenly. But you, you piss it all away by being bummed that everyone you know isn't experienceing the deliciousness of the brownie. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT THE BROWNIE! @ajasatya He's so right. Be an example. If you really let go of trying to change someone - I mean REALLY just forget it, let it go, and be the example simply by putting your happiness first - you will see, like magic, people will come along. It just takes time. Trying to change someone is like telling them how great you feel while they have a cold. Your message may be so clear, but it is even more unheard.

Sounds to me like you're on the path you want to be on. Good for you man. My tip - don't focus on quitting anything, focus on starting what you want. It's like....don't think of a pink elephant. See, you're only thinking of that pink elephant right now. Thinking about what you don't want brings more of it because you're thinking about it. Think about what you want. It also helps to take what you want out of the superposition that is your mind and making it real in the physical world but writing it down, drawing it, whatever. A vision board would serve you well, possibly.

The best course in logic is this: Be as honest as you have ever been, and state to yourself what you want. Now take a look at what you are at now, relative to what you want. Spend your time on this. It's what you want. Figure that out. Research, meditate, excercise, apply logic. YouTube for people who want what you want and already got it. Reprogram yourself to think positively about the thing or event or state you want. This is very simple to do. Just make positive phrases and start repeating them, that's all you did with the negative phrases. It is the same. It is only the resistance or negative feeling thoughts that are keeping you from it.

If it's confusing for you, don't use it. The point is excercising your focus. I AM ABUNDANT. I AM HEALTHY. I AM THE REINCARNATION OF JAMES MF'N BROWN. Whatever. Keep it simple bro.

Vision boards work for me. Paint a wall with chalkboard paint and use that. Your smoking question....hell no bro...put healthy things on your vision board. You will not quit smoking by putting more focus on smoking. Put your focus on what you want.

If you are saying something that tee's off with the words "worry, I'm afraid, etc" then you are going down the wrong path. Say "I love, I want, I would like" and whatever follows, is the right path.

@Martin123 Good luck with that bro. I know it's not fun. It will get better. I know that because you are here.

I hear you on this man. Here's my main 'areas'. Hope it's helpful. Everyday: Excercise then meditate eat healthy think the best thoughts you can When you have time: LEARN QUANTUM PHYSICS If you just don't want to learn QM's: nuerology, biology, epigenetics - those are enough to set one free, or atleast be pointed in the right direction. Just my opinion.

That's a good list. Sounds like he digs "the hard way". Sometimes I dig the hard way, but it always leads me back to the easy way.

You might have seasonal defective order, if it's winter / hotter days where you are. I use a s.a.d. Light every morning on the treadmill. I get photons from it that in the summer months I get from the sun. It might be a simple solutions for you. Taking vitamin D could help also. Nothing replaces excercise though when it comes to depression. THat's just hard because if you're already depressed, it's hard to get your mind to where you want to excercise. For this, prime yourself. Watch YouTube on hot chicks working out or something to get your probability to align with excercise.

Enlightenment is everything, but also it is one thing. Get in the best shape of your life. Appreciate all your relationships and deepen them. Deepen your love. Make millions of dollars. Eat new foods. You can do everything.

@Jhonny You are totally right! If, of course, thinking, to you, is work.

@Dino D Theory is description of reality, experience is reality. If you want to go deeper, then you want less resistance. All thought is resistance because without resistance there is no experience.