Nahm

It’s not failure, it’s what playing games feels like. Question the lens, not the results, not yourself. When you’re playing games, it’s only ever with yourself. That is indeed discordant, and to continue believing it’s because of others is indeed exhausting. Understand the emotions you’re experiencing, and why depression is not an emotion. Notice, acknowledge, self referential thoughts, so you can notice they aren’t true. Be honest about what you’re experiencing. If you just want girls around for sex, there are escorts. Maybe, sex isn’t actually what you want. Maybe it’s what you think you want. Make a dreamboard. Write what you actually want. You’re using others and sex like one uses a substance or fast food etc to feel better. Using others to make yourself feel better is manipulation by aversion and is thus of course indeed discordant, and contrary to what you actually want. It is by relinquishing control and trusting in the universe (not other people) that what you want can be received. ‘Sexual needs’ is thought attachment. Are you having sex right now? No. Are you fine… breathing, functioning, etc? Yes. Believing your sexual needs must be met by others is incredible arrogance and indeed discordant. It doesn’t feel very good to objectify people, to reduce them to things which exist to meet your needs. Let the focus on sex go. Let focusing on that you need to try and or improve go. Notice you’re already experiencing ‘the draining of energy’, and thus it is related to the thoughts, and not the actual date (you aren’t typing this on a date). Don’t expect, anticipate, or think about sex at all. There’s too much momentum of discord around the notion. Give it (ruminating on sex) a rest for a month or so altogether (but go on dates if you want to, for the fun of it). Think of her like a person just like you, with feeling, emotions, ideas, dreams, desires, interests, funny stories from her past which could be shared & laughed about, etc. Feel the connection in relating. Fill your dreamboard up so you easily have things to talk about which are exciting and interesting for you. She’ll resonate with that naturally. Aim to have fun. If sex happens, it happens. Let it be a natural byproduct of you, having fun, being you, experiencing what you’ve written on your board. She might want to have fun being her, with you, too.

Rumination is always senseless by definition. It is aversion from feeling. When people say “I understand” it’s followed by a belief rooted in ignore-ance of feeling, something they don’t understand. Google and read, understand the difference between pain & suffering. Let the impulse to assert what you already know go, along with any beliefs that you understand, and continue learning. Get the message. Then spread the message. ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’. MG

It’s like anything else. If that’s your vibration presently, that’s your experience presently. Married or not isn’t the variable. Acknowledge the rumination by recognizing how far ahead of things you’re thinkin. Enjoy now, feel the excitement of what you desire materializing now. Notice that it is. Note, or recognize, know, the feeling of excitement & the emotion of eagerness. Make a dreamboard in the present to attract the significant other you want in this present. Use the emotional scale to understand the emotions you are experiencing, and how letting go is the key to conscious manifestation, aka, allowing & receiving what you already know you want. Meditate every morning to address the rumination. Careful with employing ‘miss out’ valuation thinking / believing, as it makes it more difficult to understand emotions. Sort of a smokescreen of thought attachment, in believing a comparison is being made between direct experience and what is only a thought or concept. Likewise, projections of loss, compromise, etc. Someone could just as easily get married young and in hindsight see what they would’ve missed out on had they waited. The point isn’t an advise to do one or the other, but to be present & to know what you want and to get ready to receive it. With emotional & mental equanimity, and creating a dreamboard together, you can experience whatever you(s) want. If you’re scared of death, inspect the thoughts, question what it is you’re worrying about and why, and again use the scale to understand the emotion of worry, and to understand why scared is not an emotion. If things don’t work out, if you’re not happily married, it won’t be for different reasons, it’ll be because that’s what you’re focusing on & believing, because of what you’re unwilling to let go of. If you find yourself in such an experience, make two lists together on the back of your joint dreamboard: what we don’t want, and what we do want. Then erase the unwanted list, focus together (effortless) and thus consciously create, what you do want.

@Nadosa Sounds like existential rumination. What emotion arises? What thought feels better, more relieving? “Its not a thought.” Yes, it is. Return attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. ”I dont know anymore.” If you didn’t know, you’d feel amazing, and you wouldn’t have made this thread. It’s what you believe you know which is discordant, not what you don’t know. Specifically, what you believe you know about a past experience. That belief is discordant to that there is only the present. “Undo this realization” That’s another thought. There hasn’t been any realization yet. This is rumination. Humbly return attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. Write in your expression journal about how you’re feeling. Understand it by using the scale. “I feel like Ill be the only one left when letting go” That’s not feeling or an emotion, that’s a thought. That the thought is discordant reveals to you that you believe something is wrong or unacceptable about you. Accept that fact that it is your judgement which feels discordant. Stubbornness never helped anyone. Get feeling oriented experiences on your calendar. Here’s a broad list.

Karma. Trauma. Craving.

Yes, that’s the gist of it. I’d add ‘getting more connected’, communion wise, is what’s happening in any and every relationship already, though it isn’t always understood, or recognized, or interpreted that way. But it is always nonetheless, felt that way. Practical examples would be found in understanding exactly why thoughts like lack of joy, loss of freedom, the need to compromise, and or commit, feel subtly discordant.

That’s a belief, a misinterpretation, misunderstanding.

When a relationship and the activities therein are thought of as a substitute for communion, commitment does seem to come into play and be an issue. When two people are in communion, the thinking, theory, duality, or need of commitment doesn’t arise, or, is a non-existent-issue so to speak. Men who are very independent and self reliant but still want a relationship are not thinking in terms of commitment. They’re aware they don’t need you (aligned / communion). They’re aware of you believing you need them (discordant / non-communitive). Communion is actual self reliance and independence, and is non-conceptual. Two people consciously creating in communion is as good as experience gets, most worthwhile, and I highly recommend it. Phobia is direct experience btw (not projection).

@Endangered-EGO Make a dreamboard, focus on what you do want. Understand the emotions you are experiencing. Talk to someone who understands. Stop listening to misinformation. That’s what no denial looks like.

It isn’t.

This is a dream. There is no confusion or understanding. It is only believed there is confusion & understanding. This is a dream. Believing in separate things, “confusion” & “understanding” is believing this is not a dream, via believing there are, separate things… like one who is confused or understands, or that confusion and or understanding actually exist as separate things, which could come from a separate someone or somewhere else.

Awesome share, thanks! ??

The very means of realization is that one can never find a yourself in a universe. Seeing what one is wanting is excitement, while thinking of unwanted is anxiety… or excitement, plus thinking of unwanted. If you will. Just your thoughts can materialize a physical realm of objects and people etc. Wtf?? No. Check direct experience. And why can't we dream while awake? Because you’re dreaming you’re awake. Why can't my thoughts materialize objects without needing to fall asleep first? Because they aren’t yours per se, and you’re assuming you’re not asleep right now. Anyone knows what's going on here? No. Dreams are a mysterious thing.. If anyone knows the mechanics of how dreams work.. Please share. Dreams aren’t a thing, and thus there are no mechanics. Nothing works or is working. The mind can not be where it has not yet been my man.

Yap.

At first glance this sounds absurd, but you’re actually, quite literally manifesting it over and over as the emotional scale. The only variable is the humility & willingness to learn and understand. What one man identifies completely by, another experiences as an emotion. The former is the prison, the ladder is liberation. No levels, concepts, states or knowledge required. ?? There will be a happy ending Goddamnit.

Of course.

Conjecture is momentous, such that ‘something in the mind’ is swiftly replaced with a duality of two nothings, distinguished contingently on a capitalizing of letter(s), with an ideology that there is an accuracy to this, and thus a better or worse framing of the conjecture, as if reality is actually contingent on dualistic thinking (thoughts), and a ‘separate self’ or ‘selves’. That there are two, such as X and a ‘relative domain’, or an ‘individual’s intent or will’, or even ‘a singularity’s intent or will’ (individual and intent or will), is an ideology of materialism through the finite mind or lens so to speak, with added fundamental misinterpretation on behalf of a ‘separate self’, or self image (thought attachment). Will is as defined ‘in psychology’ (thoughts)… the ‘other definition’, the ideology, is also actually thoughts… attached to / believed… and now connotation… and ‘different separate selves call it by different names’ isn’t actual, but is the likewise or corresponding justification & perpetuation of the initial conjecture. The momentum / repetition / belief in or of ideology is in the claiming of concentration as within the separate self paradigm / ideology… unnoticed. Then this is projected or resourced, onto the affirmations… as if they solved something… while either is thought activity, and only the discord and or alignment of. Only by first adopting all of this ideological-mental-gymnastic hullabaloo as ‘one’s own’, can it seem there is a physical manifestation of power, and the comparative distinctions which follow. Adding more beliefs and conditioning is the confusion fundamentally, regardless of the content of. Likewise, ‘relative form’ is one apparent thought, and not otherwise actual.. attached to / believed… which ‘hijacks’ truth via conceptualization, in the sense… consciousness (as ‘forms’ / separation)… right out from under one’s own nose if you will. Via thought attachment, as in labeling and the believing of, kundalini slips into the ideology as a relative form of consciousness. ‘However’… in the Absolute (which now must be capitalized to maintain the conjecture) is utilized as the very supporting distinction or pillar of the relative (and Relative) ‘domain’ (s) (?). None of this is simple language. It is a very complicated belief set, of very specific suppression and aversion, which supports ‘it’s own’ foundation, of othering. Many pillars to uphold one wall you could say. A wall which needn’t be ‘overcome’, as prior to the adopting of the belief system, there was no wall. I can most definitely say that which is being referred to as ‘your developed Kundalini through Kriya Yoga’ is present and available to all, as ‘it’ actually is “all”… but bear in mind, no adoption has transpired. The ‘requirements’ are actually utilized to actually justify thought attachment as a contingency (separate selves, time, genetics gifts) for this not to be seen as ideological conjecture. There are more loops in this ride than a Philippine Starflyer. The apparent ideology of the separate self along side thought attachment is perpetually self-tailoring and self-mutating similar to covid-19 in that it is so acutely designed for the human species if you will, and so deeply fettered therein, new information is absorbed into the ideology as the virus enhances it’s ability to exponentially seize new hosts. In both cases the underlying means of catastrophe is continued allowance of the perpetuation of suppression.

There is nothing within the mind, and thoughts arise to the contrary, about one gaining results. The objectifying & illusory separation of one’s self is the confusion. One was already one prior to the thought attachment of will, intent, or any other ‘thing’, ideology or hypothetical philosophy. Overcome, what? There only seems to be that need to justify and rationalize, and any truth therein, when there is first the thought attachment and thus the objectifying or assumed separating of oneself. There are no separate selves which could, or do, have access to consciousness, that another separate self (you in this conjectured ideological case) doesn’t have. It only seems so in the believing of the thoughts. There is no separate self ‘burning desire’. This thought activity veils the actuality of the desire via emotional suppression, like a weight loss marketing campaign presents a problem and then itself so to speak, as the solution, rather than the ‘solution’ orientation being the recognition of the thought attachment, and the actual realization that there is no ‘problem’, which of course is the absence of the motive of eating for happiness.

Yes, nice. It’s not even possible to ‘remind it to yourself’, but it can seem so in a ‘pushing through’ or ‘brute force’ approach / mentality / ideology. It’s the you telling yourself factor which adds a veiling & discordant ‘self’ reference confusion. Affirmations can certainly lift vibration, but can also be ‘hijacked’ by the finite mind via thought attachment in regard to the ‘separate self’ or ‘self image’, or ‘idea of a self’. To spot the difference notice the thought activity, or thoughts of, claiming & identifying. Note any me, my, mine of the finite mind which hijacks the very ‘substance’ of its own true nature, which is really what’s sought in the utilization of affirmation in the first place. In that sense, in regard to spirituality, awakening, enlightenment, or simply what is true & actual, claiming the intelligence would actually keep one asleep in ignorance. Fine line between a ladder & a crutch.

Of course share your art! That sounds like someone’s else’s ‘art’. If you aren’t holding the judgment of higher / lower consciousness… that facade / illusion of “confidence” and the loopy emotional rollercoaster therein isn’t in experience at all. Likewise, with emotional understanding & without the ideology of self improvement, there is no arising of self referential thoughts about one who could or must improve. There is simply the intrinsic enjoyment of the artistry. As an artist, unhijack yourself. ??

@Galyna Spot conflicting statements.

emotions.

@goldpower123 Knowledge is only experiential, illusory, such as the knowledge of the separate self, it’s life & death, ‘over’ & ‘under’ worlds, etc. You might say death is just an empty cup, or, this.

Materialism is a belief, Nonduality means not two. Materialism seems true if believed, Nonduality is true wether believed or not.

Being yourself is never a problem. It’s always the best way to go. Address those thoughts about yourself. Nothing’s ‘wrong’ with you. Understand everyone experiences thoughts about themself which don’t feel good, because they aren’t true about themself. It’s called conditioning. Beliefs we picked up from others. Beliefs which didn’t feel good to them either btw, but they suppressed their emotional guidance. Don’t do that. We tryin to wake this place up, not suppress ourselves more. It’s actually really good that you’ve tried to be other than you are, like someone else or someone else’s ideal self image. It’s great because, as you mentioned, now you know from direct experience that it neither feels good nor does it actually help or work. That’s because you’re actually awesome, as you are, without ‘trying to be’ anything at all. If that sounds nuts, notice the beliefs to the contrary arising. They’re just beliefs. That’s why the way you’re attempting to go about this feels terrible. You’re trying to suppress those discordant thoughts / beliefs, rather than expressing how you feel and in doing so, understanding the emotions you are experiencing. To begin to express and understand is a long term approach. Whatever is suppressed only gets worse the longer it is suppressed. I think you’re directly experiencing that too. The sooner you let it out and understand emotions the better. It’s conditioning and we’re all in that together. Everyone experiences it. Not everyone takes the time to understand and thus be free of it. Do a little work on these beliefs about yourself & the emotions you’re experiencing. Be willing to be humble enough to consider that the issue you’re experiencing is that you don’t understand the emotions you’re experiencing. Certain thoughts about yourself don’t feel good, because they’re not true. With twenty minutes of daily morning meditation, you’ll experience less attachment to these discordant thoughts, and it feels really great to feel your true self, without the confusion of the beliefs. With using the emotional scale each day, just for ten minutes or so, you’ll really begin to realize for yourself that you’ve been experiencing emotions but believing they’re about you. They aren’t, they’re about the thoughts you’re thinkin - about you. And some of the thoughts you’re thinkin about yourself are just very untrue, and really just not good, and not very kind to yourself honestly. You learned these ways of thinking about yourself from others. It didn’t come from you. That’s how conditioning works. Suppression is learned, not natural. That’s why these thoughts don’t feel good. Because you are good exactly as you are now already. Clearly, you are not analytical or interested in a new self image, to mask & suppress the underlying discord. Again, it’s good that you’ve tried this to see for yourself what works and what doesn’t. A meditation tip… ‘letting it go’ is really letting the thought attachments go. It means no longer believing the ‘negative’ thoughts about yourself, which you learned in your childhood. No one can really ‘let go of thoughts’. But anyone can return attention to relaxing and feeling breathing from the stomach. That’s how one lets go of something. It feels great, and after just a few days you’ll have much more clarity in regard to these discordant thoughts and beliefs about yourself. You’ll see for yourself that it is the thought which doesn’t feel good - and not you - and thus you’ll realize that it is because they aren’t true - about you - and you’re good however you are. Relationship wise, some will prefer you as in feel chemistry and attraction, and some won’t. But you won’t feel uncomfortable or rejected, because you’ll understand this, and your emotions, and those discordant thoughts won’t even arise anymore. Trying to be someone or something you’re not obviously doesn’t feel good to you.. and so it should come as no surprise to you that this doesn’t feel good for anyone else either, when they do it. Everyone, just like you, just wants to feel comfortable and relaxed, having fun & enjoying life, just being themself. With a little meditation each morning and a little understanding your experience of emotions, you’ll feel comfortable being yourself. Those awkward discordant thoughts won’t arise anymore, and there won’t be ‘a problem’ anymore. And this will be most attractive, because everyone wants the same thing you want. They might not cognitively realize it, but they’ll be attracted in a most fundamental way. As a pretty wonderful side effect of meditation and understanding emotions, you’ll also find this natural attracting applies to literally everything in your life. The relationship between focusing what you want (desire) and discordant thoughts about yourself or what you want (doubt) will get clearer and clearer from the meditation and using the emotional scale… and you’ll realize for yourself it was always the law of attraction at play. You’ll understand how it works, and you’ll naturally attract everything you want, and our infinite being will naturally be it. This is not a trick or a secret, this is understanding what you’re already experiencing, rather than suppressing emotional guidance by trying to be someone or something you’re not. Trying to get happy or feel good about yourself using other people is very short term thinking and doesn’t really resonate or work, because it’s an attempt to disconnect from emotions. It’ll become really clear and obvious to you that happiness, feeling good, or, good feeling, isn’t actually coming from someone else, and any thing else, it’s within you. Always. It the very reason some of the thoughts and beliefs don’t feel good. Here’s some tools to help you… The Emotional Scale Expression Journal Stoking Creativity Try some of the healing modalities, experience them directly to realize the benefits. Improv Writing As you bring meditation and alignment of thoughts with emotional guidance into your life, you’re going to notice how often you focus on thoughts of what you don’t want, of undesirable outcomes, and of thoughts about yourself which don’t feel good (beliefs). This exercise is a super easy way to shift habits of focusing, to what you do want, what does feel good. Have fun with it. Life is supposed to be fun. The whole experience is precisely as experienced - it’s all for you. Feel free to message me anytime, I’d love to help with any questions you have.