Nahm

It might be regional but girls around here like to be themself and have fun, and don’t seem interested in playing mind games. Honestly, this thinking is only encountered in this experience on this forum. Similarly, judgement, like fake and low conscious. Again, might be local, but girls don’t seem to resonate with that way of thinking.

@actually Jealousy is an emotion which reveals to you that you want something. Whatever that something is, you can have it. This can bring limiting beliefs to the surface to be let go. Beliefs about how you can’t have it. Beliefs about yourself. Make a dreamboard and focus on the having of what it is you desire. Not some special or meta focus, just the same regular effortless focus. Point it to that board so to speak, instead of the beliefs, and momentum is such that those beliefs (thoughts) won’t even arise anymore. You will likely release and cry, and that is letting go, and more desirable than anger (again). You’ll literally forget you ever experienced those thoughts. Understanding jealousy leads to recognizing abundance, and it’ll be a great joy for you to see that everyone can create the relations-share and experiences they desire to. This doesn’t entirely translate in text. Let me know if you’d like to chat sometime. You’re not alone is experiencing and coming to understand jealousy, others feel it too. Express is key. Relating is connective.

Insecurity is an emotion, not some thing you have, and not some thing about you. The ‘smog’ is the shift is focus, from her (seeing & hearing her) to the belief about yourself. The ‘loop’ is the belief insecurity is not an emotion, but some ‘thing’ true about you. Everyone experiences emotions, it’s not unique to you at all. The holding of the belief, believing ‘you are insecure’ is unique. Not everyone believes that. Some understand and recognize the emotion, and receive the guidance therein, seeing through the misunderstanding and therefore the belief. Imagine if the ‘yourself’ of thoughts were instead a good friend. Would you tell your friend ‘you’re insecure’, or would you help your friend understand the emotion she is experiencing, and to dispel the belief? Treat yourself like you would treat your friend. If you just want to get laid, dip into the readily available bags of tricks. If you desire more than that, potentially some kind of relationship, ‘do the work’ first. Think foundation first. Be more mindful of what’s being offered than of what you’re getting. Suppressing the discord (of the belief) while on a date is possible, but why do that when you can inspect and free yourself of the misunderstanding. The belief discolors, or distorts every aspect of your life experience, and is not related to or specific to dating, and has nothing to do with anyone else, only with the thoughts & beliefs. When we suppress, it’s near impossible not to experience projection (“she’s projecting insecurity onto me). You’re projecting that onto her, and that indeed makes it difficult to see her as she is, and enjoy any kind of genuine honest relationship. Gotta get honest with yourself first, about what you’re thinking. Again, if you’re just desiring to get laid and don’t care about actually letting the discord go or seeing her for how she really is, just ignore this ‘zen / riddler nonsense’… In accordance with direct experience of what is actual & true, you never come, and never go. Ever. This is why it is discordant to believe that you are insecure. It isn’t true. You can focus on anything else when beliefs arise, to feel better, and let the belief go. It takes time (momentum change). For real, I’d choose this instead, or whatever else feels light, carefree and easy to you. Try it a few times, the simplicity of focusing on anything else will click, and the belief will be released without any effort at all, of it’s own accord so to speak, simply for not repetitively focusing on it. What’s realized as you do, is you are creating your experience (she’s not projecting anything onto you), because you are the creator of your reality. What inevitably follows, is no longer finding someone to satisfy bodily impulse, but to create a life, a reality with. Conscious & unconscious are just belief btw. It’s focusing on thought instead of feeling (suppression). Pro tip… your day likely starts with waking up and focusing on the same discordant thoughts as the days before. Change that. Pick a couple things that feel good to you, and do that first… before anything else (people, email, etc). Whatever that is for you. Could be meditation, prayer, drawing, going for a walk, etc. Whatever feels good for you. For me this morning it was blasting this so loud the bass made a picture fall off the wall. It’s perfectly meaningless. Just feels good. The dancing is optional but recommended.

What is a thought. @Chris365 James was banned for speaking the truth.

Go wherever, experience whatever. There’s no commitment. Without believing in a my level of understanding there’s nothing to protect & nothing at risk. Clearly what you want to experience is in conflict with the belief you are a lone wolf. Favor the experience imo. (I am inherently a ______ isolates, separates, thought wise) A future is not a your past. Your past is like your understanding. If you have these not there is nothing to protect, nothing to lose, no risk. Maybe if you learn from each other and are parallel (vs identifying at all as the teacher) there is relief instead of risk as well. It’s entirely possible to just spend time enjoying the company, without any contention in regard to spirituality. ‘Normal’, even.

Impossible is a thought. It is a thought. Detach is a thought. Us & survive are thoughts. Meditator is a thought. I is a thought. They is a thought. Representation is a thought. Narratives is a thought. My & life, are thoughts.

Self awakens as itself (not to itself), and thus is not viewed by or realized by anyone or anything else. Nondual means ‘not two’. Nonduality and duality, would be two. Our is two. We is two. Subjective (&) experience is two. I’m & this is two. I’m and God is two. God and everything is two. God and concept/conceptual/conceptualizing is two. I’m and understanding is two. This and limit is two. This and human mind is two.

@Etherial Cat ooooh boy

@Etherial Cat lol! I see ya! You’re exceptional.

@Dazgwny lol. Not holding beliefs is the opposite of riddlerish. There’s no such thing as living human beings.

@peanutspathtotruth Madness indeed.

Appreciated, but I gotta say, I was like twenty. It wasn’t a matter of being emotionally mature at all, it was a matter of no internet yet, no pick up yet, and just being, non-influenced. All the alpha beta, body count, etc, etc, ime is a recent thing, and also imo it’s all rooted in as you say, toxicity, or more specifically an averted manipulative mindset. The real head scratcher for me that really leaves me feeling lucky I’m old, is that females actually like & appreciate the psychology behind pick up. That might be a very nuanced generational thing or something.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker So great to hear that & good for you! ? @Antor8188 You are indeed the creator of your reality, and not in a philosophical sense.

“What exactly am I scared of when approaching women?” Nothing. Obviously a relationship is what you actually want. It’s literally non-meditative thought activity and emotional ignore-ance. Don’t take my word for it though, try to point to the fear, or what the fear could be believed to be of. Thinking about ‘yourself’ (non meditative) is a life, energy, and attraction zapper (discord). ? If you just address that ‘shadow of my ego’ first, the relationship you’ll attract will be most worthwhile for having done so. @Emotionalmosquito Genius.

@Electron When I met my (to be) wife, I hadn’t heard of “pick up” or the way of thinking of playing games, deception, manipulation, etc. She appreciated the poetry, and a song or two, and the showering as you say. I did too. Just, honest, from day one. Thank. God. We actually waited quite a while before having sex. But there wasn’t the ‘getting laid’ thinking, so there wasn’t actually any on purpose ‘waiting’ thinking either. It was just natural. Just a comment for you, in case by some chance you feel like this thread which initially looks in a way, like truth being pissed on and kicked through an echo chamber of an echoe’s chamber, so to speak. I would wager from what you’ve said you see (actually feel) what I mean and don’t feel like that at all though.

@digitalkaine Great insights. Biblically speaking, the devil is an angel which refuses to be parallel with mankind, and therein lies the fear and misunderstanding, inherently within or of, ‘being the devil’. (Angels, are us, mankind, which aren’t being, the devil.) ‘Jesus already died for your sins is an ultra polite way of saying you’re being the devil (but you don’t have to be). When that (arrogance, pride, self image, judgement, manipulation, etc) is no longer the case, the ‘holy trinity’ is actually realized, as in literally seen (yet by no one), like a car, cloud, or tree, and was never (intended as) conceptual or metaphoric in the first place. @Adodd There aren’t any Christians. That’s the mind untwisted, so to speak. “Let that shit go”. @Yarco Canon = theory. That there is canon, is the theory that there is canon. A theory doesn’t have to be belief and conjecture.

@Vision Belief. You heard there’s an ego & believed it. You’ve never actually experienced one.

Meditation could be thought of as non-thinking, or non-thought, which leads to cessation of monkey mind / incessant thinking, which is like, maybe exactly the same actually, as a psychedelic trip. The twist untwisted is it didn’t seem like this was the trip, as thought activity veils with thoughts of a separate self & separate physical world or reality.

Oh gotcha, thanks. Didn’t occur to me one’s path could get so conceptual that simple is confusing.

@Javfly33 Just two cents of course, an opinion… but what @Moksha is sharing with you isn’t reductionist. When a teacher experiences cessation so to speak, their interest naturally is helping you awaken, because there is no teacher, or individual there. Never was, but thought makes it so. When a teacher hasn’t, and is still in the thought attachment / monkey mind “phase”, it’s about their concepts, because they themselves (so to speak) can’t tell the difference. It isn’t personal. You might have a ‘lens’ of it being personal & dualistic, of right & wrong / higher & lower concepts, which to you maybe are not readily seen as concepts, but the way. This would leave you, in an unknowingly indoctrinated sense, in monkey mind always trying to ‘get’ the ‘right’ concepts too. Unknowingly attempting to and orientated to aspire to, monkey mind. Product of the underlying rollercoaster of comparative dualistic thinking, without recognizing the lens is conjecture in & of itself. @michaelcycle00 God is perfectly aware of why all is exactly as all is. But God is not the monkey mind leading the monkey mind. I mean, God is of course also that, but as the veil. Psych’s can certainly ‘tear the monkey mind apart’ as you say, and then it of course resumes, and the ‘experience’ is hijacked by the ego (separate self thought activity) resulting in being only further veiled, by the spiritual ego “phase”. Leaving you unknowingly aspiring to, spiritual ego.

Sounds more beautiful & clarifying than confusing.

@Mesopotamian How’d that work out for him, like, not trying to be too personal, but are they happy, in love, etc? Also, haven’t you ever asked him why ? To hear what his reasoning is about not dating ‘young’, etc? No conversation or anything about what ‘the westerners’ do, and why, and maybe what differences there are between? Just curious, on a 10 scale of taking care of what needs taking care of, being a loving husband, father, friend, etc, where would you place him? (Just for communication sake) Oh, and also curious, when you say pick up ‘doesn’t work’, what do you mean by ‘work’?

Did you talk deeper about that, ask any questions etc? In what way are you too young (to him)… what is the ‘right’ age or maturity… etc?

@SQAAD The sensation can not be a problem because ‘problem’ is a thought, about the sensation. The good and presently unacceptable (?) news is, there’s no problem, but thought makes it so. Thought attachment… Meditation. Healing modalities.

Self Inquiry.