Nahm

Ah come on! What state is this place in when a joke like that isn’t funny?

If you aren’t loving yourself, they intuit you’re not ready to love them. It’s like they can smell it or something. And if you’re twentyish, the potential s.o. is likely experiencing some degree of ‘mom & dad didn’t really love me’ emotional explorations, and unknowingly seeking a filler for the ‘hole’ (and not a hole to fill). A magnet flipped backwards simply can not function like a magnet flipped forwards. The way to get an s.o., and specifically one you actually love being with, is to let it (discord) go from mind altogether, and just loving being with you so to speak. The universe doesn’t need to be told twice, let alone a hundred billion times. S.o.’s been manifesting since the first thought & desire… but doubt is like a shapeshifter, which must be nipped at the root many ways until it no longer grows. Any mind at peace knows communion comes prior to relationship.

If you’re not a solipsist by now, you’re just dumb.

You’re right.

I, we, my, you & many aren’t conscious, nor understanding, nor born or alive, nor die or experience death. I, we, my, you & many appear & disappear so perfectly and benevolently as ordinary experience in fact, this goes on unnoticed. The outside is as beautiful as the inside. But don’t take a you’s word for it. Just sharing there is in fact a moon. In my experience, right & wrong are a paradigm transcended with kindness, something even flowers can not do. And in kind, right & wrong appear & disappear as well too.

Mentally involving her, like acceptance or forgiveness of her will not really resolve this, precisely because that approach is separative, conceptual, and intellectual. By this I mean of course, how you feel. When that is aligned, you can not be moved her, nor by a million of her. I’ll wager my house there is nothing more you desire for you kids, than for them to truly know, that, by fully knowing this. So you gotta know this, cause as you & I both know when it comes to the actuality of having kids, words don’t teach. Only what is exemplified matters. In the instant you consider you don’t have hate, there is the slight relief of a new way of experiencing this situation. In the recognition hate is not a thing you have, but is an emotion you are experiencing , there is more relief, albeit subtle. Notice, as in effortlessly acknowledge, you are of course already experiencing & expressing anger, discouragement, and blame… and also worry & doubt on behalf of the continuance of the well being of yourself, your wife, and your kids. Obviously with what you’re experiencing, there is the experience of disappointment on her behalf (bio-mum), and this can understandably be overwhelming, resulting in frustration, and pessimistic thoughts about the future and well being therein of yourself & your family. You might also be experiencing boredom as well… your normal energies to focus on and do what you do, but without your typical focus, desire and inspiration & inclination, to do it. The seemingly intuitive way to resolve this, would be to figure out what to do about it, and then proceed to do that. That can work, but perhaps this thread is the implication that what normally works for you, isn’t per se working here, and a different approach or understanding is thus asked for. I suggest that different approach, which will very likely initially sound counter intuitive to you, is selfishness. Imo, you gotta ‘get yourself right’ first, which to me, means feeling great, which to me means alignment. Taking your mind and the attention of, off of her & thoughts of her, and onto your own personal well being, mental relaxation, and alignment. This ‘letting it go’, if only for a moment or a day, is recognized as feeling the emotion of contentment. Not a concept of, but the confirmation in feeling of actually having made the choice to shift the focus selfishly, to your own peace of mind & well being. I know the ‘pull’ when it involves your kids, and I am still suggesting what I am. The reason I recommend selfishness in this way, is because when you start feeling that alignment, which is felt by default of letting this matter go for at least enough time to feel contentment, you then naturally experience thoughts of hopefulness. Yeah, I know, even with this, even with bio-mum. Likely seems impossible now, but what’s being said here is that is the power of contentment and hopefulness. Upon feeling hopefulness, new & more aligned thoughts about this, which aren’t arising now, will arise. Jesus referred to this as ‘the fertile soil’, which new thoughts (seeds) can grow in, resulting in the tree’s you desire to create & experience. This will feel significantly better. These ‘seeds’ will be of positive expectations, beliefs, and you will feel, truly feel, optimism, via the optimistic thoughts. Not sure I’d say this next part if you were sittin next to me, cause I wouldn’t blame you for throwing something at me… but… the only possible experience to follow in kind, will be enthusiasm, eagerness, and happiness - and I do mean precisely, thoughts, insights, epiphanies of that feeling-flavor. feeling-flavor. Again, might sound like impossible nonsense at the moment. Maybe it is. But you’d have to check the direct experience of what is being suggested. Maybe you already are. Dunno. From that vibrational offering, will indeed arise thoughts, and the corresponding emotion of, passion. Our greatest headaches so to speak, are the doorway to our greatest compassion, that which we feel passion to change, in alignment with the well being and power of, that which we truly are. Nothing said here is intended to tell you want you should do, only a suggestion, a friendly reminder really, of the well to which you could go for such solutions and ways forward, and perhaps of suggestion of how to get ‘back’ to ‘it’. That well is infallible, because that well is you, and you are the creator of your reality. Not in a past, and not on behalf of bio-mum or anyone else, as that would not be realistic nor necessary. But there can be great, great compassion for bio-mum, from your true place of recognition of who you really are. A well she is very much struggling to remember, or get back to, in having no example. “When you are slumbering on your bed, He opens your ears and seals your instruction”. Moses Relaxation & well being (alignment) are often over looked or highly underestimated in times like these. But thank God for the living message, and our ability to receive it’s instruction. The sea indeed will part for you, and I wish you, and all involved the best. No one should ever read this as it will only lead you to misery and suffering and you will never create the life you actually desire. You’ve been amply warned. Click at your own risk.

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Agreed, and this ‘mod’ isn’t.

@sir meowski The only one who gets it as well. ? Much love.

Awesome! Great to hear. That is life right there.

@Alfonsoo Yes… also it’s an emotion, not a separate thing, no need for acceptance even.

@nuwu Let go of the belief there are bad thoughts.

Inspect direct experience instead of assuming. ??

Inspect what you’re experiencing. Let thinking about others go. It doesn’t need to be. What emotion are you experiencing when you think of the eating and nose issue? No. When you think about it, it doesn’t feel good to you. Choose a different way of thinking about it. No. In the simplest sense, I mean avoiding feeling, and overthinking.

@4201 Not offended at all and thank you, and likewise my apologies if I’ve offended you. I wasn’t saying you’re creating a conflict with me. Just that imo you are creating conflict where there is none.

@Alfonsoo You can’t ‘face boredom’, it’s an emotion, not an adversary. That is the discord you’re creating. You can refute & ignore the guidance of emotion, you can even pretend it’s something else, what you can never do is not feel the discord of doing so. I’m no adversary my man, I feel it too.

Just a consideration, there are not psychedelic oriented people, there are truth oriented people. (And not even) No thinking or research will amount to anything. Only the direct experience is actual.

By noticing how judgement feels (‘bad habits’ is your judging) and experiencing the feeling of boredom. You’re still focused on the expression of pessimism. (Referring to yourself as pessimistic, is focusing on, pessimism.) That isn’t ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’, it’s simply preference, and up to you. (Not meant sarcastically. Obviously no one likes how judging feels). You’re ‘keeping a yourself there’ additionally by believing there is a you (separate self of thoughts) in a state (an abstraction with no actuality, like judgment), while pessimism is not indicative of you at all. State = self referential thought loop in this case. But pessimism is just an emotion everyone could experience, and would if focused on the same thoughts. Everyone would feel the exact same discord as you are with judgement. Move on to the next emotion by expressing, which doesn’t require a how, because there is no wrong. All you want is to feel better. What you’re focusing on is aversion of feeling. Trying to convince yourself the discord is caused by anything other than, what you’re focusing on. Open up your mind to the possibility there is no such actuality of bad or wrong, and it’s been ‘your’ judgement / judging, and feeling the discord of it, the whole time. Also, while you believe you have problems, you remain stuck in solution seeking. You are free to do what you want to about anything you desire to. ‘Problem’ is the denial of this truth.

You’re feeling your home there, the only one you’re ever in. Best to listen imo. Love might be saying, make yourself a home. But you might be going to distractions, which have gained momentum, or so it sounds. That house is this love. Another approach might be, create the life you actually want to experience. Then, I suspect you would find it enjoyable to peruse the old hood, appreciating where you came from, desiring only for the home’s new inhabitants to experience their dreams as well.

Self inquire as to who is controlling levels of energy and experiencing a self’s & collective’s awareness & energy, and the ‘osmosis effect’ between the (separate) “two”.

You’re feeling the discord of your interpretation, and the belief that the discord is caused by or related to someone else. Your thoughts / interpretation, and the believing of it. Inspect the beliefs in levels & states, and specifically that you could be in them, refrain from projecting the cause of the discord felt onto others or situations & environments, and understand the emotions you are experiencing.

The learning doesn’t feel off, the self referential thoughts feel off. It’s the result of discordant self referential thinking. It creates an impression there are two of you, and ‘one of you feels guilty for the way it talks to the other’. It is not possible for you to guilt yourself because there are not two of you. Learn the emotional scale. Guilt is an emotion, created by the thoughts you focus on. Express the jealousy for the win, and continue expressing up the scale.

It’s not a matter of agreeing or not. The op can inspect direct experience. The entirety of what they said sounds like parroting, trying to get all the ‘right’ beliefs. All of what I mentioned in my previous comment must be ignored to hold those beliefs… even just the title.

The relief is found in inspecting your direct experience, not avoiding. The discord you feel (thread wise) is your own thoughts, like calling yourself a retard, and believing what people tell you is true. To be without that discord, love yourself, care about how you feel, and don’t listen to people expressing discord. Notice, you are saying there are ‘next dreams’, without any direct experience referenced, only hearsay, conjecture. Also notice, you are saying perception is plural, without any direct experience of this. I’d start with inspecting these.

This is all yours, I don’t share any of that thinking or experience. I think you’re creating conflict & drama over nothing, in not noticing that is how you’re thinkin. I have no position, I freely state my views, people following Leo’s views are not my responsibility, and you are free to assume & make whatever assumptions and create whatever accusations or defamations you like.