Nahm

@BipolarGrowth Yes!!! That’s the Stuff!!! You’re not a fraud though my man. You’re perfect. You’re the O.M.F.G. Glad to see you shedding the skins. Warms the soul. Much, much love sir ??

Feelin the love yall ?? Two cents …. Sounds like the absurdity & ridiculousness of striving, craving & averting in the pursuit of happiness (the alleged ego) has been clearly seen & rightfully called out for what it is… shenanigans, total bamboozlement. Well done. And yet it also sounds like the happiness… and all the ideas, insights, eagerness for what’s to come, has not quite ‘arrived’ yet. Rather than zest, aliveness, and enthusiasm, there is presently an experience of an apathetic limbo of sorts. So what gives, and what to do about it. I know the happiness that I am to have a nature indicative of a cork, as Esther Hicks describes. I can not make the cork rise, or, float. It’s TOO good, TOO effortless for that. That, would still be a pinch of tomfoolery on my part. I can hold it underwater without even noticing that, or how I am doing so… but I can not make it float. Whenever I attempt to, all that is found is essentially, ‘I’m not gettin it, there’s something I’m not getting here… I know it’s always, always, always, numbskull lets go, source floats, numbskull rides the wave, so what gives, what am I missin?’ Even to graciously hold a most subtle expectation… that when I do let go of whatever it is I’m ‘holding’, the cork will float… is too much effort for the cork, with a simple expectation like that, the cork is held underwater. So I suggest there is still something being carried, weighing down that cork a bit, and two things come to mind from the very little info available here: Collective shame might be what has arisen, to come up & out. Might be holdin that cork down a bit. Maybe a little bitty resistance is felt. Maybe shame is ‘seen through’, but not entirely. I think it is helpful to simply call shame exactly what it is in direct experience - a concept. If shame has come today, it has come via thoughts focused on. If these thoughts are focused on, the discord felt is enough to hold our ever-loving, ever-giving, unconditional cork, under water. ? We’re smart peoples though, and we can inspect. Shame is a collective belief, a concept, it was learned, and is not an emotion and is not a feeling. The feeling, is the cork saying, “awe heck no, that ain’t true of me at all, yall are weird up in there”. Shame is not an emotion. One more time cause I know it’s collectively in there deep… Shame. Is not. An emotion. It’s what you’re thinkin. And what you’re thinkin, is discordant (cork saying hell no). That is what is felt. LOVE, is what is felt. Love, unconditional, is what is felt. Shame, well, it’s pretty conditional. Simply put… you are at that ‘place’, where it behooves you to go on, to depart, to leave the herd in this way. It does not matter if 8 billion believe the same thing - that does not make it true, and that does not equate to the feeling of alignment. Admittedly, this is easier for me because of the state I am in. In the Midwest, we tend to think more like this… “So I have been sent here to destroy you… and there's a million just like me, who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me, and just might be the next best thing - but aren’t quite me.” All that’s called for here, is a little less of the collective horse shit, and a little more you. That’s it. The horse shit which could be let go (and I hope you’re in a good mood right now ?)… might be… “spiritual ego”. Who is this one this story is about? This one who meditated, took psychedelics, etc, this one who believes apathy is an emotion, this one who believes it could be in apathy… ….who are you talking about!? There is nothing wrong with you! That’s the pinnacle of bullshittery! I suspect that belief about us all sharing a common mind is at play there. As was said, if it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t true for you. Don’t think on that one, let it go, so insight can arise in the cleared out space. It will, but don’t expect it to. Expect to have boat loads of carefree fun. That is like a flame, which insights are like moths to. Somebody has issues, those issues aren’t yours. Somebody’s still looking through shame, that’s a somebody-sized issue, not yours. Be crazy enough to depart. You never feel a ‘common mind’. You do feel your own beliefs resonating or not, when you witness someone coming from shame who is feeling the discord of it. If I was in your shoes, I’d go through the motion. I’d bring this shame shenanigan to mind, I’d open my front door, and I’d wave my hand as if slapping an ass, and slap that shame right on out the front door. Then I’d say with a Gordon Ramsey like conviction, “fuck off already!” and I’d slam the door in it’s dumb face and be done with it. Much love. ? And of course, as usual, I’d stop looking to thoughts floating around in the ether for what I want to create, and simply make a dreamboard, and enjoy the thrill-ride of conscious co-creating.

@Rilles Awesome! I would (in your shoes) reference that comment, and the op… and perhaps see it as analogous to the answer to the title of how to let go of the story. Awareness appearing as thoughts, and then it’s like where’d the awareness go / how to let go of the story. Awareness, appearing as the thoughts, is appearing as ‘the story’.

If you still exist as this idea of a person in a body, what is aware of the thoughts; idea, person, body? Perhaps there is a belief one can think perception, and or that there is a plurality to perception. Try to find the separation which makes it so, which is not an arising thought. Experience transmutation. Write everything you now know you don’t want on paper, and everything you now know you do want on the dreamboard. See it, & tell the story of wanted, and indeed it will be. This has been the case all along, without exception.

?

@Tboy Indeed. Aka ‘listening’. No one can get in a concept. Think about it, feel, notice the self evident fruitlessness & senselessness of that way of thinking. Don’t suppress & objectify, listen. Respect & honor the guidance. Abide within it, as if there were any other option really.

‘Because I don’t like it’ is avoidance, focus upon unwanted, clouds the mind, obscures the very clarity sought, is how you’re ‘holding yourself back’. Aversion, motive of the separate self. ‘Trying to get some thing compelling enough’ is trying to extract the passion desired via objectification, as if passion arises in some thing other than you, or come from some thing outside of you. This way of thinking leads to internalizing the discord felt… by this way of thinking, leading to believing you need to improve yourself. That is self referential thinking, and is more clouding, which is inherently less focus. You are vacuuming the floor, and not noticing the vacuum isn’t plugged in, thinking some thing is going to come along and plug it in.

You’re thinking about life purpose like it’s an entity, which generates, is boosted, owns a business.

@Value https://youtu.be/EAHPGVrvBFQ It’s not actually about you, or sex. Careful not to believe it is and internalize. More ego doesn’t actually help where more alignment is called for. You are not, and can not be the solution. You can definitely help, but you’d have to understand how. Prior to that, you’d have to know what you want.

Infinite can not know finite.

How do we have free will if God chooses the consequences? Not two. (Gets struck by lightening)

@PurpleTree You are right.

@PurpleTree Age is also a belief, we are all your kids, it’s within your power to forgive us all. If you’re not ‘there’ yet, that’s perfect too. Disrespect is a self referential concept. By self referential, I mean a thought or concept about a separate self (‘I’m pretty easily annoyed’) which isn’t true. By belief I mean a thought, repeatedly given attention, which seems true, but isn’t and never was. Belief is tricky, because it definitely seems true when believed. In believing, one be leaving One, the ‘true self’, so to speak. Which is of course why ‘the true self’ is referred to as, the truth. Self Inquire /inspect the belief / thought… who is disrespected? Who is annoyed? ‘Shoulds’ are major energy zappers. Everyone should be exactly as they are, evidenced by, that they are exactly as they are. Notice the theme, the subtle non-acceptance of what is, the subtle projection of emotion / feeling experienced, onto others as at fault. Get all those ‘people’ together, to celebrate life. ??

It’s a subtle non-acceptance of what is, or, somewhere in the neighborhood of wanting, desiring, needing, expecting, or waiting for things and others, experience in general, to be other than it is, so you can feel better / be at peace. Inspiration begins at peace (contentment). It sounds crazy initially, but none of what you’re feeling is because of anyone else. This is to vibrationally hold oneself at… …pessimism. It’s the outlooks / interpretations which are stressful, not the world, others, or society. I know it likely seems like it is, I get it. But I’m suggesting there’s more to it. Or, far less to it really. I’ve experienced, (not all at once ?) multiple people shitting & pissing on my living room floor, someone literally pissing on my face lol, someone throwing my remote control through the screen of my brand new 70 inch tv, someone breaking my favorite thing, a guitar that took years to afford, and someone sticking their finger (nail) directly into the center of my eye, splitting my cornea in half, causing 4 days of intense pain while having to remain motionless in total darkness. That’s just off the top of my head. I laughed and loved through all of it. But if you were sitting next to me on that bus, you’d probably assume I think like you, and that all of that stuff is unacceptable. You’re probably thinking I’m full of shit on that loving & laughing. Before it gets too weird, I should also mention these people are my kids. I feel that you might be underestimating & under-appreciating the power of compassion, love, lightheartedness & and awareness of impermanence. If so, it all starts with non-aversion. Hanging around in pessimism is resistance to experiencing boredom. So it seems like the discordant feeling is coming from or related to the electronics, while in truth it’s because they are utilized as distraction, aversion from feeling, receiving, and understanding emotion. As an example, annoyed is not an emotion or feeling. It’s a self referential thought. It feels discordant, because you’re actually unconditional. You don’t need to know or realize that to feel the discord, evidenced by that you are feeling the discord. There is only to not distract, to not avert, and to understand the emotions as guidance in creating. There are not-too-hard-to-find videos about this kind of stuff. ?

Can’t put everyone else first. Can’t give so much mental space to what other people may or may not think about you. Give it significantly less importance, and oddly, paradoxically perhaps, what’s experienced is people actually think pretty highly of you. (Not to imply they don’t already!!!) Feels good to be nice. It is really nice, you are really nice. Doesn’t pan out for the long run though. Catches up with ya. Feeling good about what other people think of you goes full circle, and brings you back to you, to plug into source… and then, well, whatever the hell you want. ??That ‘and then’ might look like caring a whole bunch about others, and helping with as many oxygen masks as you can. But, from the place of ‘plugged in’, or, with your oxygen mask already on. That’s the Stuff right there. Great outlook. (Don’t give a fuck what Nahm thinks though).

I think the era of Matt putting Matt’s mental, emotional and physiological well being first is arriving, and I think it’s going to be powerful, awesome, and deeply meaningful. ?

? Love you brother. This to shall pass. You’re gonna come out of this awesomely. Spidey senses tinglin up in here. An Esther Hicks analogy comes to mind… when everyone boards a plane and takes their seats, the attendant gives the speech about ‘if the oxygen masks drop down… mom & dad - put your’s on first… then help your kids’. I believe they say this every time like clockwork because of how incredibly counterintuitive it is for parents. On a flight to Vegas I once actually heard a mom behind me say ‘yeah right’ under her breath. I was thinkin, on that lady’s behalf, yeah, totally, I get it. But more so I was thinkin on the attendants behalf, yeah, I know, I get it.

@PurpleTree It would make sense that when alone, and not around anyone who doesn’t share my beliefs, I wouldn’t feel the discord of the beliefs. Then around anyone who doesn’t hold the same beliefs, I would feel my beliefs arising more intensely. When experiencing jealousy, the beliefs, specifically the limiting aspect of said beliefs, would be felt very significantly. It would seem as if I was uniquely more sensitive than other people. But this could be interpreted as a clue, of what I could inspect & let go. When you experience someone who is so focused on what they want and what they are passionately creating & experiencing in their life… that they truly don’t even care if they sit in some dirt or get coughed on, would this be especially frustrating / irritating?

@PurpleTree What stands to be let go of, belief wise, is social anxiety, toxicity, and shame. Those are concepts, but you (in one way or another) believe those are what you’re feeling. This is conditioning. Those concepts are learned, and did not come from you. They have nothing to do with you, only to do with your beliefs. Therein lies the confusion. In understanding which emotions you are experiencing, those concepts literally disappear to the extent you’d actually struggle to remember the experience of believing in them. Compassion is conceptual. Anger is an emotion. Compassion/anger/compassion/anger is therefore not a thought loop. It’s a thought (being compassionate) triggering an emotion (anger). I agree there is some unacknowledged jealousy at play. If I believed in social anxiety, toxicity and shame, and did not understand what is actual so to speak, as in the emotions I’m experiencing, other people would piss me off too, and I wouldn’t know why. But it would be because they don’t hold those beliefs, and I don’t want to anymore either.

Matt A doesn’t experience comparative thoughts about others, or any thoughts about what other people think, and finds that to be other peoples’ business. He doesn’t hold how he feels to be related to what others might or might not be thinking. He finds it hard to relate to the issue of errors & memory difficulties. Matt B lends a significant amount of mindspace to comparing himself to others, mostly in regard to what other people might think of him, and has done this for a long time and thus doesn’t really notice how frequent it is, and how it plays a role of mental congestion in regard to experiencing memories as arising on time effortlessly. Sorry to hear of the job loss, in a way. Am I just a total asshole if I suggest in any way that losing that job is actually… what you wanted? If so, add a spoonful of sugar. Or of course just let me know I’m being an asshole. Might be a line though. Another angle… how would you rate the desire for what you want on a scale of 1 - 10? And how would you rate the experience of doubts arising on a scale of 1 - 10? Ten being lots of desire, feels awesome daily… and 10 being pretty much overwhelmed with doubt daily. Whatever that feels like when you consider it… is that feeling close to the same feeling when you think about the errors & memory issues? In arriving at a number on the ten scale, it might sound like 10 is ‘I know exactly what I want and very much feel the desire & excitement for it. And 10 on the doubt scale might sound like ‘I experience significant doubt and do not really know why’.

@PurpleTree In the same way compassion is naturally deployed for the cotton heads in pain, allow yourself to feel that same goodness of compassion for those still ignorant of conscientiousness. If the gut issue is now, what’s inflaming it also now. It is inflamed by discordant thoughts, which can not be digested. There is much momentum at this point, which is to say there are some discordant thought(s) which are now beliefs, making it harder to spot & resolve. How are conscientiousness, anger, and irritation all related when you think of your childhood? What arises as the most prominent event or happening? Maybe someone thought a bit more about themself than you / the family, and spent there time as such? Any thoughts about your future not working out, something wanted but not possible for you?

Don’t debate, exemplify & talk in simple terms about simple down to earth stuff in regard to his life & fulfillment therein. There are reasons people want to move from blue to orange, think of those reasons. Don’t make it about religion or culture, just simple and relative to him. Examples of some motivations to move from blue to orange… not having a boss, not punching in & out, no salary cap, etc. With him, at least initially, I wouldn’t mention any specific resources, or even models like spiral dynamics. First he needs to realize his own why. Also, he might not be interested.

You got this. ???