Nahm

There’s a full circle. Beliefs run deep. Mind is not made of food. Food is made of mind. The food debate will go on as long as the collective belief in objective reality does - for you.

@Buba I feel for ya. Again though, the issue at hand is anger, imo. The remedy is consciousness of it, not parenting. There are ample parenting tips & resources online, but anger & fear won’t look. Without fear & anger, loving is the natural order, neither survives in the light and relief of self awareness. For you to focus on the issue being within a relationship is like her focusing on the issue being about her daughter. It’s just keeps it going generationally in relationships like an endless game of hot potato. It’s a one-off, individual issue. It’s anger / losing consciousness at play. Reconnecting with being is the call. Totally understandable that she might not be interested in talking with some forum guy. If that changes down the road, just say the word. Also, if it’s helpful / useful, my wife went through the anger inspection & realization too, and she has a master’s degree in family therapeutic management. She’d love to help if possible as well. The best thing you can do imo, is “root it out” (understand it) within yourself, and liberate. Nothing speaks louder than nonviolence, non-engagement, non-blame, non-anger. True power is realizing there is no assertion. What is most “normal”, imo, is listening to the source within. Abiding by feeling. There are tons of books and resources for this online. ‘Nothing’ (♥️) can change everything. You are more powerful than you have ever imagined my friend. Such fear fuels such anger. If you believe meditation won’t help, ok. But switch the focus to what will. What have you tried? Yoga, therapy, etc? Diet, exercise? Etc. People more readily believe in themselves when they think...well, if he can do it...

awareness = self / no self

@Loving Radiance Nature retreat. With no path stuff. No spiritual crap. Let go by thinking of one muscle in the body at a time and relaxing it. Then the whole body. Feel the muscle relax. Keep repeating. And keep going deeper into the tinier muscles, etc. Then start doing it while breathing from your stomach. You’ll notice even breathing is contracting. But you’ll be quite relaxed by then.

Yes, essential & very important. It opens up a broader more encompassing perspective & use of logic, reason & understanding. The scope & breathe of your vision expands, and so your dream of what is possible in this life does too. If you haven’t looked into spiral dynamics yet, the two pair great together. Very eye opening. People’s predicaments & perspectives, motives, and the systems employed by us, how they fit together. Neat. Draw a half circle on your dream board, like the sun coming up on the horizon. Label that sun ‘diet’. Then draw a bigger half circle around / above that one, and write the bigger thing you want to experience, be, have, or do in this lifetime. What you really want. That which inspires you to the degree you’re loving the idea of feeling light, clean, healthy, energetic, connected, enthused, focused, and reveling in well being. Most of all, look forward to clarity you haven’t experienced before. That’s awesome. And of course, intuition & instinct. Maybe a siddhi or two down the road. Enjoy it all. Also, draw a bigger half circle around that, slap yourself across the face with a wet spatula, wake up, and get real about dreaming bigger. Then write that in the bigger circle. Then draw another one. Then take a step back and see how awe inspiring and freeing your health & well being is, to this moment right now.

@Buba It’s not a parenting issue. Indirectly, yes. Your sister could educate and practice with regards to the catalyst, her anger. And technically, the anger isn’t addressed, because it’s already unconscious behavior. At that point, there’s literally nobody home to do anything different. The root, & prevention is addressed. I’ll talk with her anytime if she wants to try something different. I grew up in a chronically angry household. I currently have three kids, and live in a very happy household.

Only ‘channeling’ advances science.

Feeling however, doesn’t choose. Thought, duality, creates.

?

@ActualizedDavid No sir. Nope. Nada. Every sound, sight, person, religion, every atom & cell is calling you home. Project at your own peril. (Or just don’t)

@Average Investor At your end, it will lead to emotions, and some outpouring & healing... as a starting place here..this is what stands out to me. (Also, not to feed into the story but...you might wanna get a good night’s sleep before reading this.) The separate self only exists in thought. It is perpetuated and kept “alive”, only in the nuances of our thinking. In thought alone, there is an idea of me, which is believed to be me, and feeling will never align with this belief as the idea of me, is of the past, and feeling is only now, and is of the true self. It’s important to make the distinction between when one is unconscious, and conscious. Not unconscious as in sleeping, or passed out. We can walk, talk, live, and even somewhat thrive - completely unconscious. Again, it’ll “open some wounds”, but that is the beginning of the deeper healing desired. When we feel a way we would not choose to feel, we are unconscious. No one would consciously choose to feel ‘not good’, so when one does, one can deduce one is actually unconscious. When the suppressed feelings come up, either they are allowed to arise and pass through, or thinking is utilized to construct a thought story of the emotion. The thought story will have “the separate self” in it (thoughts of you), and will transpire in the past or future. There will always be another person in the thought story. Here is the critical difference. You’ve got to catch the mind assigning the feeling, in anyway whatsoever, to the past, future, and or other person. In this way we can remain present, and then the emotion empties out freely. That can be rough, but there is soon a very deep, yet very subtle sense of peace present. From then on the purification is easier in terms of feeling / relief / release (though it still looks rough as heel to any onlookers). Who do you believe has depersonalization disorder? You must believe you are an individual, a human, the one who has a “disorder”, etc. Maybe they are one and the same. The “disorder”, and the “separate self” are never actually seen or found, but kept going via the patterns of thinking dancing around this fact. If you look for, or try to go to the “disorder”, or “the separate self” - it can feel scary - but it results in relief, because neither can ever be found. But one must look, with the genuine desire & intent to find. This is “facing the fear”, resulting in the visceral realizing there is none. Have you practiced writing, journaling, and scrutinizing your writing, marking the nouns / pronouns, etc? When it’s in front of the eyes, the mind can ”identify“ the separate self as only in the words, and the realization then happens. There is an epiphany that sounds sort of like “holy cow..I’ve literally been speaking & writing about a second self, as if I was not the one speaking & writing”. This is the ‘getting down to it’, meeting the mind at it’s incredible sneakiness. Notice, there is an assumption that there is a difference. This is in and of itself a protective barrier. Because there is no separate self, there is no disorder - therefore, there also is no difference that could ever be found. The level of scrutiny required is highly detail oriented. The word “it” is being used as a write off - notice there is not an “it” at all, but notice how this slips right by us in our speaking / writing, and this reveals the slipping by in our thinking. “My ego” is a write off. There’s no such thing as an ego. Supporting that there is, in thought, speaking, writing...is how this situation is perpetuated and kept going. It’s that sneaky. That single action, or rather, unchecked action, of thought - is this.. “The Devil”. It’s been sneakin people for thousands of years, the majority of the population is deeply under “it’s” spell. But the separate self, the write off, the devil, the disorder, and the idea of me - do not exist as entities, or even as any thing anywhere in the world, but in your thoughts. I would wake up every morning and outright admit, “I am the sneakiest entity which has ever, ever, existed”, and then meditate. It is common for a couple weeks of meditation to be pleasant and relaxing. One is stating in an unspoken manor - “I am done with this suffering, I am done being a separate self, I’m slowing down and doing something about this”. And adopts the practice of meditation. The body response in kind, “Well fuck ya man, let’s do this thing. Here comes all the shit you innocently shoved down up in this place, it’s coming out and we’re healing, let’s rock this.”......and thought says “yeah right, I don’t think so. We’ll make this about someone else, somewhere else, and or some other time...and we’ll label the feeling of the whole charade....”bad”. And that’s the end of that. Instead, to expedite this, try daily practices like yoga, and anything oriented towards ‘moving awareness’ through out the body. This results in a ‘safe’ inner body reassurance, and a reconnecting with now, feeling - presence. The theme is sneakery. States of consciousness - “ I “ - was “ in “. I understand the semantics, and again I don’t mean any personal offense. Consciousness is absolute fundamental. There can never be a “you” which is “in” a state of consciousness. This is the thinking which perpetuates the belief that there is a separate self. It happens ‘right under our noses’, in thinking. Also, the reference is a comparison to what would ‘normally occur with depersonalization’ which does not exist whatsoever. There is not a “you” which was a person, and is “becoming” not a person. There is no separate self which is “depersonalizing”. That is entirely, only, a thought story. The separate self (thought) supports the disorder (another thought). Claiming (just a thought) the disorder (just a thought) perpetuates the separate self (just a thought) who has “it” (just a thought). It is not uncommon for experiences to ‘get one half way there’, and critical scrutiny to ‘bring us home’. An obstacle comes to mind -“but everyone, Nahm, Leo - everyone - talks in this same way - “me”, “I”, “you”, etc.” It has to be acknowledge & realized, that difference between relative linguistic communication, and the clarity of the actuality within, by one. A good feeling is a good feeling, and I’m not at all knocking that. However, this also jumps out at me. There is a thought pattern at play, which supports the separate self, in the perspective it is good to separate from the body. I would suggest seeking in the opposite direction, detaching from the believing of thoughts, and going into the feeling in the body. “Anxious” is a write off. It’s a very popular one, but it is a write off. In removing the write off, the label or term - one is then forced to see what the feeling actually is. The true I has is never “anxious”. The true I is the unconditional love, which is being suppressed, by choosing the thinking instead of the feeling of the message. It is slippery sneaky, but these are the nuances in thought to uncover, to root out the separate self. “I am _________” is the most profound life experience shaping thought / words that could ever be uttered. The true self is not identifiable, only know to itself. I would pause indefinitely before finishing that statement, and allow it to be lost into silence, the true I am. Being, is a reference which gets confused. The “experience” of being, is not like “unbelievably relaxed”, nor “profound peacefulness”. Being, is literally an infinite being knowing only, itself. When the chair is you as much as “you” are “you”, being is known, and only Being is known, there is no chair anymore, there is literally no self anymore. No notions of a self, no inclination, no belief there is a self, nor any beliefs that there ever was a self. One can not be experience, as this is sneakery at play, supporting & perpetuating that there is this “separate one” who could be something (experience). Not to mention, the self referential thought, “I think”. (Pointing out nuances in the name of helpfulness here ??) There is not an I which possesses an ego. Again, there’s no such thing as separation, a separate being / entity, or an ego. “Matter” arises appearing as “objects” of infinite being, pure potentiality, and never isn’t infinite being. In truth, “objects” never even “appear” as separate objects. A thought that a thing is separate arises, and is believed...and be indirect default, there is the belief I am also a separate object - separate from the “object” I am believing is separate. The “objects” body, perception, thought, and sensation, all arise simultaneously with what gets referred to as, “objects”. There is no separation in any of this. Thought is known, a separate “object” - thought - is never known. Perception is known. A separate “object” “perceived” is never known. Sensation is known. A separate “object” “sensed”, is never known. In science terms...if there seems to be a “hard problem of science”, a difficulty in finding the answer of how the quantum world meets the atomic world, the answer is there is no you. “You” are the “reason” there seems to be (but isn’t) a “hard problem of science”. It is because the entirety, every “thing” that could be named in direct experience, arises simultaneously - combined with the belief “I am a separate self”, that there seems to be this problem. One of, perhaps the greatest tool of sneakery, is time. Time does not exist. There is not actually “7 years of depersonalization”. What there actually is, is a belief right now, in seven years of depersonalization. This is how the separate self, the ego, and the “disorder” “stays alive”, how it is perpetuated. It is no more than a story being retold, reinforced, re-believed, again and again, right under our noses. Really take a minute and contemplate - there is no past. Nothing “happened”. There is no future “coming”. These are just thoughts. Feel the truth in this. Feel the liberation in this. You are not bound by a damn thing. Nothing. It will never feel good to believe you are, to think you are, to write that you are, to hear that you are, or to speak that you are. This is the deeper meaning, the true wisdom of these very symbols...???. To sin, is to speak ill against The Self. You are That True Self. To repeat ill against The Self, is to believe one is ill, and to sustain that belief. Likewise, this symbol...♥️...is profound and wise. What arises to the top, is duality, twoness - all thinking is such. What this symbol points to, downward, is where this love comes from, but as the symbol reflects, it can only be pointed to, never symbolized. The om symbol (not emoji available ironically) points to the fact, that what the heart points to, can not be named or spoken. Symbols are important to grasp, as they undercut words, and reveal that all words are too, symbols. Not feeling fucking awesome is not something to be considered normal or managed.It is not something to ‘get used to’. It is something to be inspected and released. Right now is all there is. Look around, smell, feel, breath, hear. That’s it man. That’s “everything”. That’s infinity. That is it. Notice how sneaky thinking is, so easily slipping into a “past” and using it to justify it’s own leaving of the now. This is the sneakery which perpetuates the story of the separate self, the “one” who is “moving through time”. You are the infinity, the entirety - you are not the body, or the person, in the story of time. You are the time. That’s a good sign, and I would hone in on it. Why doesn’t it feel good typing that story? I suggest it’s because none of it is true...because you are the Truth. Enlightenment is much more pleasant, but why is that? Probe deeper. Enlightenment = the actuality of unconditional love, infinite being - the true you. When we are threatened, abused, etc, we block the feelings, to protect our true self, the inner being. This was never needed, but of course nobody could be expected at present, to know or understand this, especially given an environment of people who are very far from wisdom. There is a yin to all yangs though, and it is you, rising like an ignorance crushing Pheonix out of all this, and paying it forward so other to come will benefit from the wars you survived. This is your Shaktipat, your opportunity to know and live the greatest love, the selfless giving of your love. The more you give, the more you embody. Everybody “wins”. This is the supreme existence incarnate. This is where you’re headed, the greatest height of life, what you have been through, and that you come out of it a renewed and yet untouched pristine love, will speak volumes in presence. Notice the relationship between inspecting the nuances of the thoughts in words, and never actually needing any to convey what is real. Thought searches to no end, never finding feeling. Feeling, reconnection, extinguishes the “apparent needs” of thought, and it ceases. Focus, concentration, attention, sky rocket naturally, like a cork released from being held underwater. Also, this is a very contemporary perspective. Enlightenment is not sought, attained, and correcting of feeling. Thought is properly inspected, emotion is cathartically releases - and the end “result”, is enlightenment. When it does “occur”, it will take at least a year to even connect the dots, that this was that thing you referenced. It is that profound. So don’t imagine it. Stay true to yourself, to feeling great, to inspecting and releasing. This, even more so. Infinity is unmistakable, earth, life, space, time, shattering. Unspeakable, ineffable. Blow that up! Expand it. Go try some new to you healing modalities. Make dream board, and dream the impossible life - and actually live it. Someone does not notice you have a disorder, because you do not have a disorder. There is nothing wrong with you, sans the belief itself, that something is “wrong” with you. The “prolonged feeling of detachment” is only from feelings. It is through feeling, sensation, love - that all is connected - that all is One. You are The One. “Ego & identity” are not present. Thought to that tune are still being believed, so it seems so. It is like holding a filter at the end of a flashlight, it skews all that is seen on the wall. Thoughts, are “on the wall”. Don’t believe what is thought or seen, inspect the flashlight. Notice the sneakery at play. Again, it seems semantically, but their is no such thing as “my awareness’. This is like a cell phone claiming “my wifi”. The wifi is the wifi. You are awareness. Scrutiny your direct experience, and notice you can never find this “sense” “awareness”. It brings to mind the example of that there is no nonexistance, nor is there such a thing or state as nonawareness. If you imagine someone claiming that there is, you could ask them - what was then present, to make such a claim. Surely, only in being aware of “nonexistence” or “nonawareness” could someone make such a claim. But in making the claim, they reveal they were aware, they existed. Inspect that to complete satisfaction - and there is enlightenment. Hold it in a future thought story, and such a “future”, of course, never “comes”. This is where it all heads to...ultimately the beliefs and perpetuation in them sustains the veiling, the living in thought as “a separate self”, which one day dies. But death is a belief, again, a popular one, but a belief in total nonetheless. (Watch Leo’s death video if you haven’t, it’s phenomenal) Death is Actual You - Unconditional Love. Do you see the correlation yet? The feeling of bliss on the mountain, which represented the ‘facing of the fear’, of death = cutting away at the stories of the separate self, at it root - at death. ?? Again, I know this is harsh and critical. I hope it is all taken as an offering of love.

@Average Investor Are you open to the idea that the separate self is being “kept alive”, perpetuated, in thinking? If you’d like to explore that notion, let me know.

Sounds heavy minded. How about less suffering...more ‘contrast’. Like the static of the radio, which is what allows the tuning into a particular channel. No good, no bad. No self, no no-self - just change the channel. It’s ust what you know you do not want, from which you can readily derive what you do want. In some ways, it sounds like you’ve got a bar set at suffering. Suffering is the greatest teacher, but..before you get there, at any given time, there is... a thought which didn’t feel good to you, the feeling of discord in continuing to focus on it, the repetition, annoyance, frustration (deeper discord), anger, and self referential thoughts which don’t feel good either. Lighten the path, by nipping it in the bud. Thought doesn’t feel good to you, no biggie, choose a better feeling thought.

@dimitri ☺️

@ivankiss I hear ya & agree. What discernible distinction is there between thought, and vision? With a source manifesting reflection, what need is there for thinking, when one has such vision? I feel like you’re about to light this whole place on fire. ? ? ♥️

Patterns of thought would unconsciously play out, and when this dream ends & you awaken, you’d have a hearty laugh. Not a thing right or wrong with that unconscious life, and that is precisely what would be so funny. Consciousness is infinite & whole, perfect & complete. There can not be a separate thing, a separate object, nor a separate self, because if there were, consciousness would not be infinite. If there is some thing which consciousness is not, then consciousness is not infinite. Consciousness Is infinite, and is infinitely, spontaneous & free. One who takes reality for granted has yet to realize the feelings they don’t like, is our source, the one-glish speaking voice of infinite reason, conveying the truth - that one is so free, one can impose limitation. The One has already amply done this however - to allow for this very experience. No more limitation is needed, source did a fine job. Add to limitation at your own emotional peril, as Truth is Unconditional Love, and conditions simply will not resonate. Practically speaking...one who is “stuck”, is over-emphasizing the intellectual method of - practically speaking. “Stuck” requires profound materialism, knowing one’s infinite all loving unconditional limitless eternal self - as a thing. An object, in a world. ?? What knows all that comes & goes, is already transcendent and does not come and go. What does not come and go, and does not have separate parts in truth, can never actually be “stuck”. The cosmos is an ever-transient vibrationally liquid creation of potentiality. What sustains you - your “living”, your “life”? Love, air, water, food. Are these “separate objects”, or are you...not separate from anything.. since the get go? Every thing is not always as it appears. This ever-changing-ness, this ‘appearance’, is known by thought, perception, & sensation, ‘themselves’ every-changing. Are you an object separate of this? Or is all known to you, as the consciousness of, the awareness of , the knowing of ? Were ‘you’ ‘here’ to know yourself...love, sensation - feeling, would not be so abundant, so easily & readily known in the sharing of our infinite being. You most absolutely know your absoluteness - you just forgot. Why would an infinite all knowing, all loving being - forget that it is? To experience. So you could create. Which is what you’re doing right now. It is all you have ever done. It is everything that you do. So much so, So totally & entirely, that a comparison can not be made, a duality can not be derived of it, and it can not in truth be said that you have ever done anything. Why you create what you do has a source which is always available. What you create and when you do, is always up to you. How it is created, is the same as how your heart is beating, your lungs are breathing, thoughts are arising, feeling is present, perception is abundant. “You”, you’re not really doing anything. You’re just unbelievable, unfathomably good, at making it appear as if you are. It is safe to surrender “how”.

@Ibn Sina My God I think you’ve got it!♥️

Thanks. I very much appreciate your posts as well. Always insight-full. ??

Thanks, I get were you’re coming from a little more now. Every one truly does create their own reality. So it is not that one ‘becomes a master’, or, ‘attains a level’ and now what they are wanting just ‘shows up’. One just notices this has been the case all along, and begins to discover the value of meditation, and choosing thoughts that feel good. The mindf is, you were born a master of creation. You’re ‘doing it’ right now. You’re so perfectly designed for it, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. The important question to consider, when you have thoughts about others being more talented or gifted, is that it is relative. It is all filtered by your perspective. So, how does a thought feel to you about this? Does it feel great, inspiring? Does it feel bad, is one downplaying one’s self in the thinking of it? In any case, what is the value of choosing a thought about what you want, which feels good to you? Immeasurable. “Realization of Truth, getting Awakended, seeing the Self (capital S) for what it is, not having attachments, being so unified with the divine that you just follow signs given to you. Like wishing for something a boom there it is” How much of that do you honestly believe you would need to ‘achieve’ or ‘attain’...to begin noticing that the correlation between what thoughts you are choosing, and what is ‘showing up’? My opinion, is you could notice this correlation right now. Take an honest look...are you putting other people on pedal-stools, pretending you are lessor than? You’re not. The Unconditional, is unconditional. I’m gonna call this meta-stooling from now on. ???

@Raptorsin7 Try it out. Whole new feelings.

@Raptorsin7 Have you ever ate vegetarian, or vegan for a month or so?

@Raptorsin7 I felt terrible when I ate fast food. Like ill-ish.

What is the answer(s) to this, which feels best to you?

@Raptorsin7 ”My instinct” is a write off. How do you know “the instinct” as other than a “random” story that flows through the mind? How are they random? If intuition & instinct are not a thought, how do you know them to be a phenomenon?