Nahm

@electroBeam Go directly to the suffering, locate it. Go directly to the one who suffers, locate it. If the suffering is found to be thought, inspect it. Look for self referential thinking ‘supporting’ a “you” doing (or not doing). Please take this lightly, but the belief is the ‘blockage’. This is a one sided ‘pendulum’ comment btw. If you are doing nothing, the subtle belief is in “you”, as “the doer”, albeit of “doing nothing”. (The other side of the pendulum is doing the practice.) Given “where you’re at”, the practice, or the inspection, or both, could be ideal. Yet, “where you’re at”, is itself a self referential thought. There is no self at nowhere doing no thing already. Consider ‘the musician’ losing ‘the juice’ of creativity, realizing it was via identifying as ‘the musician’, and thus bringing ownership of production, reputation, etc, into thought. Music has no separate musician, creativity has no separate creator. Yes. “For me”. Inspect the book, before opening it and inspecting the story. In all three events, thought leads to feeling. A dozen, a hundred, doesn’t matter. The choice is of feeling, for feeling, as feeling. Consider “the musician” is a symbol, but music, ahhh. Music. Suffer-less. Music simply feels Good. Even the blues.

@Raptorsin7 Much appreciated ??, but you know I gotta say it...you sir are the real deal. ☺️

Yes.

@Beginner Mind Sounds good. (That is not indicative of me or the sessions at all btw, but I think a dead horse is being beat here so to speak.)

@Beginner Mind It is totally possible! If you’re interested, there’s a link to my site in the signature, and or you can pm me anytime with any questions. Contemplation & meditation is better, but both is more efficient. That’s my biased opinion, but I do the sessions, because I realized this efficiency from twenty five years of path without it.

@Beginner Mind Even difficult is too much, ime. It’s easy. In the sense, there’s nothing you can do that can’t be done. There’s nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. It’s easy. That sweet delicious humorous it-is-already-done kind of easy.

@zeroISinfinity Yep.

It is already the actuality. It otherwise seems very tricky indeed. Likewise, your question is not really about psychedelics. It is about food, and authority.(and maybe a little bit about sanity and sneakery)

Beliefs like this can be inspected, uncovered / under-minded. They’re sneakier than is yet seen.

No worries man. You’re just thinking of yourself. You’re aware of it. Up to you to continue such stories. They are no where to be found, sans your telling them. What you actually are, is perfect, problem free, carefree, joy-full. Focus a bit more care-fully in the matter of you. When you reiterate this belief - you make it so. It’s not true, so it feels terrible. This is how nightmares are created. Do not go to bed with such ill-feeling beliefs, and yet expect to be making love. Apparently, currently, for you, it is the better feeling choice, than the emotional release of all the tangled diluted thought/feeling which supports it. Courageously, yet simply, be aware of this. If you are to enter discord within yourself, in choosing thoughts about you which do not resonate in feeling - simply do so consciously. Acknowledge humbly, privately - ideally once and for all - that you are indeed believing about your self in manors of untruth. In doing this, by God you are set free in Truth, and within you, desire, focus, and abundant immeasurable love are reali-I-zed. The apocalypse is not the joke Nadosa. The cosmic punchline, is there is no “nadosa”. Just thoughts about a “nadosa”, and a “past”, etc, which don’t feel good, because they’re quite simply, not true. Let it be obvious. Look around right now. Point to this past you’re so insistent upon. Where is it? Perception? No. In feeling? Heck no. In thought - seems so. Allow what you are wanting to seem so, and it is so. Notice the thought story, right at the initial conception. Listen to that little it-say bit-say ness of discord in feeling, notice what you are saying in the tiny ness of the initial conceiving of it, and drop it like it’s hot. Drop it like the first brick of building what you do not want - before you trigger the feelings which guide you, which tell you it’s not true, and not at all what you want. Drop that first brick to hell, the instant you notice the feeling telling you that you’re holding it. Drop it. You are the trowel my man. You make what you want, and clearly - what you want is not more of the same. Lay not a single brick of it then. Yet, relish, cherish - with everything you’ve got within - lay ever-so-carefully - the next brick...and it shall be enough. One brick, now, is enough. The gift is your trowelness, that what you say, is so. The brick never actually matters. They only appear to. The troweling, the creating, the experience of it - OMG. Good. That is one such thought in discord. You choose it. Just as the enigma of how a chicken creates, in kind, you laid it - and it is so, and it is done. What is the next brick though? That’s what I’d love to hear from you. That’s what you’d love to hear from yourself, if truth be told. Another thought, in an almost complete discord with who you really are. The suffering is the ignore-ance of feeling. Nothing more. The suppression of all that you are, of your right, of your desire. Nothing more. Continue it? I vote ‘no’. I vote for dropping beliefs about yourself, dropping the thought about a past, and choosing what you are wanting with your next and every word. Understanding inevitably, intrinsically it-can-not-be-any-other-way...arises. Inevitably, it All makes Sense. There’s will alright. Let that denial of it go, you’re creating that. That’s what will is doing, creating beliefs about itself, about yourself (Will). Honesty is the true king, as truth is. Honestly is the discipline of a loving mother, if you allow it. When you say there’s no free will, and it feels terrible - listen to the feeling, not the belief. Need not the stick, and it shall not be. Because you’re denying yourself, attached to beliefs. Simply no longer “switch to old habits” - by recognizing that’s not actual. There’s no “old habits” lying around. You recreate that, in the ‘rolling with’, the creating with, that thought - Now. You are free to. There is so much love for you, you can do anything. You either know this great love, this joy of being right now, or you don’t. But if you don’t - without question you know what you want to change. Let honesty, let good conscience by your bridge to it. Allow it.

@zeroISinfinity Yes, infinitely Yes. It’s like mind is a tangled mess of cables on the floor, and untangled, aligned in thought & feeling, truth fills and consumes relentlessly like electric love flowing & unending, as visceral as could be. Focus, creation, abundance, one, pure traction within. Un-damming indeed. Self beliefs are so tricky. Like a Flowing river, with logs, jamming and damming. The tricky thing about a self belief, is one believes it - thinks it’s true. Thus, unaware of the jams, and dams...looking for that flow - while one is itself the very creation of it. But alas, a log has never been, and remains unseen. Undammed, I am.

@zeroISinfinity ?? Delicious feeling, focus literally flowing through you...isn’t it so? ?

@Beginner Mind I know. We’re talking about the same thing. I’m pointing out “they” don’t “make themselves known”. “They” were covered, then thought activity was null, and ‘they were known’, and then veiled again by thought activity.

Cool. I was commenting more to the ‘not appearing lately’. In the sense, being doesn’t come & go, but appears to veil itself in it’s own activities (thinking).

@SarahFernandes Yes they do.

@Galyna That’s awesome. I was more referring to a couple pages back.

All there is is being. (And apparent thought patterns to the contrary)

@Galyna Very happy for you on the breakthroughs. ?

Yes! Love you.

@Chumbimba You more deeply know what you want now. So you’re doing even better than when you were doing good. Zoom out a bit, see the bigger picture. I wouldn’t try to go from fast food to fasting. Being full and feeling good from what you ate, might be a much easier way to transition from fast food. I found It’s much less enticing if you’re not hungry, and feeling healthier from what you ate, and happier for having done so. In any case, you already know you are committed. You know what you want diet wise. You’ll ‘get there’. Really, this is you already ‘getting there’. This is a ‘part’ of that unfolding. Spend all your focus and attention, casually, on thoughts aligned with what you want. Have effortless conviction, at the level of thought. Get down to the brass tacks of it. Notice even “I can’t eat healthy” is a thought which doesn’t feel good, because it isn’t true about you. There’s often a loop between that kind of thinking & that kind of eating. Change whichever is easier. The other one will change indirectly, more easily. Also, there is intellectual motivation, of the mind if you will, thinking... “I gotta do it for or because of x, y , z”. And there is non-intellect, or intellect-aside, inspiration, known only in feeling... “because this is actually what I want.” “Because choosing what I want literally feels good, right now.”

Anything at all. You created that. Nice! Indeed. The artist is always the art, the creator is always the creation. The “connectedness”, divine. ♥️

@zeroISinfinity ♥️? Thank you @Nadosa for being so brave!!! ??

@Serotoninluv Some of us got on it.

But you don’t understand! It’s this! It’s not a way! ?

Every moment is a clean slate, a fresh start, the new beginning IS - no past, no future, ever-perpetual, immaculate & perfectly spontaneous creating, always. You are the all that is, loved, loving, love. You are always forgiven, you can always forgive - such is a matter of energy, of the flow of the love that you are. The story we tell is the story we’ll continue experiencing. The dream board is a great way to get your wanted story in front of you and see that it indeed does unfold in kind. Can’t know what it will taste like until you experience it, that is, don’t think making your dreamboard - experience it. ...Some questions & answer from private messages... I mean how can I see that I am this and not that which is thinking it is it? Daily morning meditation allows the momentum of thinking to fizzle out. Be & create! You are a creator. It is high time thinking is replaced with insights, direction, creation & the life you truly want - create it! I just cant make a clear distinction. We just create them. Marry this to feeling - to what you want. Align thought, feeling, and the unconditional source, creation creating. Big issue also is that I believe there is no choice and why practise then. Always up to you. These are suggestions based on what changed my life and filled it with the love and happiness of being & creating. You are so free in choice, you can literally choose to believe you have not made, nor could make, a choice. Always up to you. Clearly... more thinking is not needed nor helpful. One tiny step at a time, and that is enough. Put what you are wanting on the board. I actually want to create music. But oftentimes I do it with people that trigger me unconsciously and then getting in a bad state, because some of them have way too high expectations and therefore they get angry, upset, mad whenever they are not satisfied with the outcome. Be conscious of what is happening when you are triggered. Noticing attachment to a role is freeing oneself from the role. For example, if I said “you’re a terrible gardener!”, you’d probably not be the least bit phased or “triggered”. But if I said “you’re a terrible musician!”, it might potentially be triggering. The love of creating & music is you - if love identifies itself as a “musician”...one has separated oneself of creation (just in thought, not actually), and because you are creation, because you are love...the discord of the thought, is felt. It’s just a thought though. You can choose a better feeling, more aligned, thought. Such as “i fucking love these guys! I love making music!” Allow them the space to realize the same. There is no assertion, there is a “bogus belief” you’re holding, and it is resonating with their’s...like how the E string of an untouched guitar will vibrate if an E note is played loud enough through a speaker. Uncover and release your belief which is not serving you. Yeah. I know. As soon as I feel seperate, I feel vulnerable and triggered. And then I resist "feeling seperate" which results in "not wanting to feel seperate" because I am aware that it is a state of resistance and not my nature. But it is kind of as if THEY are forcing me to be pulled back into my Ego. It is like I have to resist this pull. I feel this pull whenever I feel like I have to defend myself. I am so aware of it. When Consciousness is not located in the body, why does it move with the body? Maybe what you’re calling “feeling separate” is feeling & thought in discord. If so, that means when you are resisting “feeling separate”, you’re choosing the thought instead of listening to the feeling. You can never actually feel separate, there is only to feel the discord of believing in such. There is no assertion. “They” are not “pulling you back into your ego”. It won’t help you, to blame them. Your belief about yourself is being triggered. Feeling says let it go. Thinking is saying “no. not ready to”. That’s fine, but at least the suffering is understood. You’re not defending yourself, I suspect, you’re defending being right, about the belief, which doesn’t feel good anyways. “Body” is not actual, other than to say it is actually a thought. A word you learned when you were younger. The actuality is consciousness, and even beyond that, the actuality is ineffable. What you’re calling “feeling separate” is feeling & thought in discord. If so, that means when you are resisting “feeling separate”, you’re choosing the thought instead of listening to the feeling. There is no assertion. “They” are not “pulling you back into your ego”. It won’t help you, to blame them. Your belief about yourself is being triggered. Feeling says let it go. Thinking is saying “no. not ready to”. That’s fine, but at least the suffering is understood. You’re not defending yourself, I suspect, you’re defending being right, about the belief, which doesn’t feel good anyways. One thing that makes me doubt so much, is this one belief. That keeps popping up blocking all my energy. Basically I am aware that I lead a life of Resistance. Since then even more. Since this sense of "I" didn't make sense to "me" anymore. And somehow since this happened I've felt neurotic and like I am a stupid doll without any short-term memory and believe that I am kind of broken inside. Although I had times where I felt good, days after intense self-inquiry the mind always finds ways to doubt, like "why doing it if I don't even have a choice to do so". Then my energy and vibration automatically drops. Last time it happened when my mind kind of got lost in a story of "I dont know where I am" and I lost a sense of location. I kind of fear it now in my meditation that I lose sense of location. I kind of need a safe place in my mind again or somewhere else. I'd like to go beyond mind again to get a better perspective. Sometimes I am aware that I am pure openess. But still there is a deep resistance (not identified with) inside my stomach area. Which leads to doubts again. It is like I want to stay deluded. And I intentionally look for comments and forums and so on that disprove self-inquiry etc. Why do I do this? Meditation is for letting thoughts go. Feeling fear in meditation is precisely from focusing on thought which is not true and does not feel good to you. Why would anyone focus on thought which does not feel good to them? Ultimately because they aren’t ready to let beliefs about themself go. Which again, is fine. It can’t be said to be “a problem”, by you, as you are creating it. It’s “fixed” however, by making a dreamboard full of what you want. Focus & mindset & perspective all begin to change, in accordance with what you want - which is the same as saying...with what feels good to you. Sometimes I am aware that I am pure openess. But still there is a deep resistance (not identified with) inside my stomach area. Which leads to doubts again. The feeling in the stomach is indicative of the resistance to ‘digest’ what is true. Don’t blame the feeling, it is guiding to truth. The resistance is not in feeling - feeling is letting you know you’re holding resistant beliefs about yourself. That feeling is the thought “not-jiving” with truth, with who you really are. It is like I want to stay deluded. And I intentionally look for comments and forums and so on that disprove self-inquiry etc. Why do I do this? When someone “wants to stay deluded” it is because they believe something is “wrong” with them. Nothing is wrong with you. Consider that is actually true. It is. People judge. Let it go, rather than acting and sleeping in kind. All judgement and harm-doing...is done in ignore-ance of who one really is. To continue to ignore feeling and hold beliefs, to continue to ignore who you are, is to perpetuate judgement. That ensures the circle of judgement continues, and others will suffer like you have. Liberate yourself, that is - let the beliefs go and start focusing on thoughts that align with what you actually want - and liberation is empowered in love & truth and perpetuated. This is no more than story you are telling about yourself, and you are experiencing exactly what you are retelling. In meditation...allow acceptance of yourself, as is. Let feelings wash out of you. Be done defending “a self” (ideas). At the very least, allow it to be a ‘time’, a segment of time, which is just for you, just for your well being. However you are, is fine. There’s no problem with how you are. A “problem” is a thought, which doesn’t feel good to you, because it’s not true. Begin to realize...judgement & anger are indeed like holding a hot coal. The one who judges, the one who refuses to accept they’re choosing their own perspectives - is the one getting burned. The one being judged - is affected or not, to the degree they hold beliefs about themselves which are not true and do not feel good - or to the extent they transcend judgement, by letting their own judgements - go. Consider there might be some bypassing at play too. I find, in my sessions, people are often looking for an existential answer in thought / reasoning, to feel better....but the default is feeling better... feeling amazing - so nothing need be gained, just beliefs at play about one’s self, likely ‘picked up’ from other peoples’ ignore-ance of their own feelings, that can be seen & let go. Only if you are ready to....consider going back and reading your original post here....in the light and truth that it is only thoughts...which do not feel good to you. Write down what does feel good to you. By focusing on that it will grow. Accept that, ‘this’ situation which you are experiencing, has been exactly that. You’re getting more of what you’re focusing on. Take it slow, self-love is key...you will feel the momentum in aligning thought & feeling, and it is delightful, and gets better and better everyday. All transcendence in consciousness becomes default, ‘auto-piloted’ as consciousness is - you. Wonderful feeling awaits. ...And it will wait, because the source of you is patient, kind, and unconditional. “It”, can not “come to you”, which is to say, what is unconditional can’t “meet” you at your conditions. Let them go however - and you will see, you are already much more than “enough”. Thank you. It is a bit difficult to grasp what you're saying. I've already had a realization that I am totally responsible for my happiness, for what I want, for basically everything. That there is not even a need to believe thoughts. What I can add is. When suffering is on its peak. I can very clearly distinguish between "mind" and experience. Hence, choosing experience brings total selfless freedom. But as soon as mind changes to default thinking, I cant draw this distinction and mind feels like self. Just self-inquiry makes it possible. So I will order a dream board. Like a normal white board? Thank you. Keep asking, inspecting, and you continue to understand more and more. Self inspection ‘works’. Help from others ‘works’. We are mirrors, we are literally made of this. Take everything which ‘works’ and serves you, and leave the rest. No more ruminating. ♥️ You are not alone on this, unless you choose to be. That’d be silly though, as we do all have each other ‘here’, for you. There is not even a need to believe the thought “I am responsible for my happiness”. You=happiness. You will see this, it is glorious, truly you are, it can take time and patience - and some focus, an unwinding of relativity if you will. The dream boardIng is going to change this, as your inner kriya, your choice to change, is paramount and manifested already. Reality does follow! You will see, you will feel this, you will know this. That “default thinkin”...it’s the conditioning, and it shall be shed like the skin of a snake. Not trying to “go Christian on you”...but you know, in the Bible, when it’s reads... “And God said let there be”....what those words are trying to get across to us, is when God says “Let there be”....it is! It unequivocally, absolutely, is. It is already so. You just utter the words - “let there be”. Dive into that feeling. Let that wash over you. By making the choice for you, it indeed will be so. No one else need acknowledge, understand, nor share you views. Let them be on their path. Mind the relativity. I find that double sided boards on wheels are ideal.... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079G8CHX3?tag=duckduckgo-ipad-20&linkCode=osi&th=1&psc=1. If that one’s too pricey for now, order a cheaper one. Whatever teacher or teaching resonates with you, that is, feels best to you - drown yourself in it. What feels good to you to eat, eat that. Whatever does not feel good to you (to think)...just leave that on the buffet, and don’t judge...someone else might want that. Don’t hog all the thoughts. Every kid loves hide and seek. You (and me) are still ’those kids’. Pure as white, innocent as could be. Have fun with the whole thing. Love ya. I just recorded some drums for my Songs. But unconsciously there was suffering and resistance not particularly because I was creating music, rather because I feel like I cant believe that I am actually okay and fine. Also things related to my self dont make sense. Self-Love. Who do I love? Because I dont actually feel like there is someone to love rather than this experience right now. “I can’t believe that I am actually okay and fine”...... You can’t believe it, because it’s the truth. So let beliefs, conditions, go. What will remain is what can not be let go. You could write a header on a piece of paper... “ My Conditions “, and then write your conditions down. Getting them in front of you so to speak, is different than ‘in the head’ (feeds rumination). Be willing to see your conditions. It is liberating. Eventually, you will ‘get down’ to the nuanced, more trivial conditions, and you will laugh many great belly laughs as they depart. Consider self-honesty. If you are aware there is not someone else to love, this can not be said in honesty, to be any kind of “problem” whatsoever. More practically speaking.... you can...uh....just go ahead and....love everybody. You created a huge variety. Surely there’s a good apple or two to your liking in the bunch. If more truly what you are wanting is someone to love, to be with and experience with - you can. Above all our ramblings - ask yourself with these or any thoughts ‘ “how does this thought feel, good or not good”. And listen to feeling. I mean by that, that there is no one related to "me" and "I" to love. I cant find a "self" to be loved. Why do it if I dont even have a choice to do so". Then my energy and vibration automatically drops. If my mind looks for "I". There is no constant "I" there as a "personal identity". It rather feels like "pretending" to be one.What are the chances that my brain is kind of broken inside? Because just theoretically, I cant literally "think" myself out of this. Like imagine "me" being "healthy" and "happy" then. I know that is belief... conditioning... Energy & vibration are clearly saying that thought is not true. “Someone to love” can not in truth be said to be a “problem”, as Truth is none other than itself - yourself - unconditional infinite love. If I were to say “that’s what pride is”, is there a resistant, “triggered” kind of feeling? If so, retrace it. Learn & see how and why it starts. The person & relationship in which you created it, has it’s relative causes too. Understanding it is transcending it. Also, there might be a mismatch in terms of feeling. There’s an ‘inner being’ if you will, which you know to be you. So notions of an individual as in separate self claiming the doing and not doing of things, in the person sense, while problem-free, doesn’t resonate at a ‘deeper level’, if you will (aka inner being). The reason I initially asked if you felt resistance, is so if you do you could see now if this is it, and you can see it is not actually guilt or shame, but sort of masks as it, making it perhaps the most stubborn conditioning to recognize. Everybody ‘has’ it, and anyone letting conditioning go encounters the release of it. Love is the source of it. Apply love & understanding, meet in the middle, so to speak. It’s the same for everybody. A thought is just a thought. Nothing “broken”. Sounds like you’re trying to “think your way to feeling”. Also sounds like you understand conditioning, practices, etc. I wouldn’t put anymore focus on thinking for sure. Thought just arises. Nothing to be found there, as it is for creating. The dreamboard experience would be the ‘place’ to focus. Let thinking go in your daily meditations. So I instantly bought a white board. How should I formulate my desires etc? You just put a big smile on my face, thank you. Have a pad of paper and pen handy also. To get started, as much as is possible be in a place of ease, this is not a ‘thinking thing’, it’s a wanting and source responding thing. So dummy down to childlike mind, not immature per se, but simple, innocent, and allowing. There’s no formulating here, no need to at all. Thoughts will arise, one at a time. Let go of the ones that don’t resonate. If it’s helpful, use the body for this. Things like taking a big breathe, and blowing it out slowly and deliberately are really effective. A thought will arise, which feels good to you. Whatever that thought is, write it on the board. For the ‘other stuff’...the thoughts that arise which do not resonate / feel good - write those thoughts on your pad of paper. Express openly, unabashedly, on the paper. Really let it out, and you’ll naturally derive what you don’t want. Then, write the opposite of that on the board - what it is you do want. A hypothetical example might be someone beginning the whole “dream board thing”, and they say they don’t know what they want. But they follow along, and simply notice - a thought arises. That thought is “I can’t just have what I want, no matter what I write on this board I still have to go to work tomorrow to a job I don’t really want, because I’m dependent on the income”. So what they’d write on the pad of paper is what they know they don’t want. For this hypothetical person, it might be ‘working in a factory’, ‘having a boss who’s basically an inhumane idiot’, and ‘being dependent upon this situation’. Then, on the board, they’d write the opposite - what it is they actually do want...’a source of income that I enjoy’...’working for someone who appreciates my work, or perhaps being self employed’...and ‘independence / freedom’. You can also write anything and everything that you like already, on the board. Notice how it feels, when you are putting a little time and focus on what you like, your unique preferences from all your unique experiencing. That which no one else could know...what it’s like being you, you’re tapping into that. Write stuff you want. Stuff that is only what you want. This is for you, not anybody else. There’s a lot of working together in the world of course, lots of strategies & opinions, etc, all good. This however, is not like that, pretty much the opposite. Write what you actually want.