Nahm

@Nadosa You just put a big smile on my face, thank you. Have a pad of paper and pen also. To get started, as much as is possible be in a place of ease, this is not a ‘thinking thing’, it’s a wanting and source responding thing. So dummy down to childlike mind, not immature per se, but simple, innocent, and allowing. There’s no formulating here, no need to at all. Thoughts will arise, one at a time. Let go of the ones that don’t resonate. If it’s helpful, use the body for this. Things like taking a big breathe, and blowing it out slowly and deliberately are really effective. A thought will arise, which feels good to you. Whatever that thought is, write it on the board. For the ‘other stuff’...the thoughts that arise which do not resonate / feel good - write those thoughts on your pad of paper. Express openly, unabashedly, on the paper. Really let it out, and you’ll naturally derive what you don’t want. Then, write the opposite of that on the board - what it is you do want. A hypothetical example might be someone beginning the whole “dream board thing”, and they say they don’t know what they want. But they follow along, and simply notice - a thought arises. That thought is “I can’t just have what I want, no matter what I write on this board I still have to go to work tomorrow to a job I don’t really want, because I’m dependent on the income”. So what they’d write on the pad of paper is what they know they don’t want. For this hypothetical person, it might be ‘working in a factory’, ‘having a boss who’s basically an inhumane idiot’, and ‘being dependent upon this situation’. Then, on the board, they’d write the opposite - what it is they actually do want...’a source of income that I enjoy’...’working for someone who appreciates my work, or perhaps being self employed’...and ‘independence / freedom’. You can also write anything and everything that you like already, on the board. Notice how it feels, when you are putting a little time and focus on what you like, your unique preferences from all your unique experiencing. That which no one else could know...what it’s like being you, you’re tapping into that. Write stuff you want. Stuff that is only what you want. This is for you, not anybody else. There’s a lot of working together in the world of course, lots of strategies & opinions, etc, all good. This however, is not like that, pretty much the opposite. Write what you actually want.

@Beginner Mind Inspection literally under-minds “the one” looking for qualities, “the one” trying to replicate an experience. That “one” doesn’t exist. It’s just thought.

You’re right in the sense consciousness is not conceptual. This is where thinking / conceptualizing has reached “it’s ceiling”, and (hopefully for you) direct experience investigation begins. Be careful not to believe that what you currently don’t understand, can not be understood. All of what you said there is well understood by some people, and can be understood by you, but the first step would be letting go of the belief that it can’t be. It’s a conditioned self limiting belief, and can be seen through. There’s no “you” in that sense. That’s the “difference” that “answers” those questions. Only direct experience will do. It’s not about the world, theories, etc. It’s about who you are. You are that “stable point”, minus all beliefs (“instabilities”). How you’re creating thought & emotion would be absolutely clear.

@Emerald I’ve a lot of experiencing helping to untangle post trip messes like this. If you’d ever like to chat, just say the word. It’s not a more or less awoke comparison or anything like that, just practical for your path & living, just like someone would chat with you for life coaching.

@electroBeam Yep. Infinity, you. Awesome.

@Nadosa Same for everybody. A thought is just a thought. Nothing “broken”. Sounds like you’re trying to “think your way to feeling”. Also sounds like you understand conditioning, practices, etc. I wouldn’t put anymore focus on thinking for sure. Thought just arises. Nothing to be found there. The dreamboard experience would be the ‘place’ to focus. Let thinking go in your daily meditations.

@Scholar Very nice. Matrix spotted!

@AlphaAbundance Absolutely. What you’re essentially describing is ‘the path’, self discovery, letting every condition go.

@Emerald Delightful read, thanks for sharing!

Energy & vibration are clearly saying that thought is not true. If I were to say “that’s what pride is”, is there a resistant, “triggered” kind of feeling? If so, retrace it. Learn & see how and why it starts. The person & relationship in which you created it, has it’s relative causes too. Understanding it is transcending it. Also, there might be a mismatch in terms of feeling. There’s an ‘inner being’ if you will, which you know to be you. So notions of an individual as in separate self claiming the doing and not doing of things, in the person sense, while problem-free, doesn’t resonate at a ‘deeper level’, if you will (aka inner being). The reason I initially asked if you felt resistance, is so if you do you could see now if this is it, and you can see it is not actually guilt or shame, but sort of masks as it, making it perhaps the most stubborn conditioning to recognize. Everybody ‘has’ it, and anyone letting conditioning go encounters it. Love is the source of it. Apply love & understanding, meet in the middle, so to speak.

@Nadosa Do you mean you can’t find a you within you, to be loved?

@Nadosa “I can’t believe that I am actually okay and fine”...... You can’t believe it, because it’s the truth. So let beliefs, conditions, go. What will remain is what can not be let go. You could write a header on a piece of paper... “ My Conditions “, and then write your conditions down. Getting them in front of you so to speak, is different than ‘in the head’ (rumination). Be willing to see your conditions. It is liberating. Consider self-honesty. If you are aware there is not someone else to love, this can not be said in honesty, to be any kind of “problem” whatsoever. More practically speaking.... you can...uh....just go ahead and....love everybody. You created a huge variety. If more truly what you are wanting is someone to love, to be with and experience with - you can. Above all my ramblings - ask yourself with these or any thoughts ‘ “how does this thought feel, good or not good”. And listen to feeling.

@Thewritersunion "There is only to see the truth - there is no spoon"

Every kid loves hide and seek. You (and me) are still those kids. Have fun with the whole thing. Love ya.

I know lots of people who are too afraid to even consider approaching that confusion. It’s like being on one radio station, and fearing the static in between the station you’re on, and the station you want to be on. Confusion is good, it’s natural in transcendence, and it plays itself out. No need to add the perspective “it’s a problem”. Just keep tuning to that station you want. A single arising thought is - so that you may choose. In your choosing, you are creating. We all are. If you’re trying to ‘make thought more than what it is’ - and feeling is telling you otherwise - listen to feeling. Choose a thought in accordance with feeling. Notice the effortlessness in “doing” so. He’s speaking from a place of nuance, perhaps just a bit “ahead” of where you’re at “on your path”. Perception can not be accurate or inaccurate. Perception is perception. It is in the adding of thought, that distinction is created. That thought is in accord, or in discord, with truth. The accord or discord is know to you - via feeling. Judgement... If a thought is arising now (a memory) about a “past” when “I” was judged...and it does not feel good...the reason it does not feel good....is because it’s not true about you. What is true, is that the judgement came from their own ignore-ance of who they really are. The judgement did not feel good to them, but they chose to roll with it anyways. Don’t be like them. Acknowledge your own ignore-ance of your own truth, known to you in feeling. Acknowledge it is only now, and if there is judgement now, it is only ever - yours. Every single one of us forgot who we really are (birth). There is no call to “find that I am good enough” - the call is to see through the judgements that others did not...to put them down...and to share the message. This is love creating, and you are that, any way you slice it. You will never actually find “something wrong with you”....you will only realize that is judgement. There is only to realize you are creating it.

This lady seems to know what she’s talking about.

Thank you. Keep asking, inspecting, and you continue to understand more and more. Self inspection ‘works’. Help from others ‘works’. Take everything which ‘works’ and serves you, and leave the rest. No more ruminating. ♥️ You are not alone on this, unless you choose to be. That’d be silly though, as we do all have each other here. There is not even a need to believe the thought “I am responsible for my happiness”. You=happiness. You will see this, it is glorious, truly you are, it can take time and patience - and some focus. The dream board is going to change this, as your inner kriya, your choice to change, is paramount. Reality does follow! You will see, you will feel this. That “default thinkin”...it’s the conditioning, and it shall be shed like the skin of a snake. Not trying to “go Christian on you”...but you know, in the Bible, when it’s reads... “And God said let there be”....what those words are trying to get across to us, is when God says “Let there be”....it is! You just utter the words - “let there be”. Dive into that feeling. Let that wash over you. By making the choice for you, it indeed will be so. No one else need acknowledge, understand, nor share you views. Let them be on their path. I find that double sided boards on wheels are superior.... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079G8CHX3?tag=duckduckgo-ipad-20&linkCode=osi&th=1&psc=1. If that one’s too pricey for now, order a cheaper one. Whatever teacher or teaching resonates with you, that is, feels best to you - drown yourself in it. What feels good to you to eat, eat that. Whatever does not feel good to you (to think)...just leave that on the buffet, and don’t judge...someone else might want that. Don’t hog all the thoughts.

Another way of saying that is “my belief about choice does not feel true to me, but I believe it anyways and just put up with the discord, lower energy, and lower vibration, and unaligned feeling”. Life is but a dream, and choice is no exception. Yes. In ignoring feeling, one can not expect more sense. Sensation, feeling, is the guidance. Without, one indeed feels “lost”. Meditation is for letting thoughts go. Feeling fear in meditation is precisely from focusing on thought which is not true and does not feel good to you. Why would anyone focus on thought which no not feel good to them? Ultimately because they aren’t ready to let beliefs about themself go. Which again, is fine. It can’t be said to be “a problem”, by you, as you are creating it. It’s “fixed” however, by making a dreamboard full of what you want. Focus & mindset & perspective all begin to change, in accordance with what you want - which is the same as saying...with what feels good to you. Don’t blame the feeling. The resistance is not in feeling - feeling is letting you know you’re holding resistant beliefs about yourself. That feeling is the thought “not-jiving” with truth, with who you really are. When someone “wants to stay deluded” it is because they believe something is “wrong” with them. Nothing is wrong with you. Consider that is actually true. All judgement and harm-doing...is done in ignore-ance of who one really is. To continue to ignore feeling and hold beliefs, to continue to ignore who you are, is to perpetuate judgement. That ensures the circle of judgement continues, and others will suffer like you have. Liberate yourself, that is - let the beliefs go and start focusing on thoughts that align with what you actually want - and liberation is empowered in love & truth and perpetuated. In meditation...allow acceptance of yourself, as is. Let feelings wash out of you. Be done defending “a self” (it’s just ideas). At the very least, allow it to be a ‘time’, a segment of time, which is just for you, just for your well being. However you are, is fine. There’s no problem with how you are. A “problem” is a thought, which doesn’t feel good to you, because it’s not true. Begin to realize...judgement & anger are indeed like holding a hot coal. The one who judges, the one who refuses to accept they’re choosing their own perspectives - is the one getting burned. The one being judged - is affected or not, to the degree they hold beliefs about themselves which are not true and do not feel good - or to the extent they transcend judgement, by letting their own - go. Consider there might be some bypassing at play too. I find, in my sessions, people are often looking for an existential answer in thought / reasoning, to feel better....but the default is feeling better...so nothing need be gained, just beliefs at play about one’s self, likely ‘picked up’ from other peoples’ ignore-ance of their own feelings, that can be let go. Only if you are ready to....consider going back and reading your original post here....in the light and truth that it is only thoughts...which do not feel good to you. Write down what does feel good to you. By focusing on that it will grow. Accept that, ‘this’ situation which you are experiencing, has been exactly that. You’re getting more of what you’re focusing on. Take it slow, self-love is key...you will feel the momentum in aligning thought & feeling, and it is delightful, and gets better and better everyday. Wonderful feeling awaits - you. ...And it will wait, because the source of you is patient, kind, and unconditional. “It”, can not “come to you”, which is to say, what is unconditional can’t “meet” you at your conditions. Let them go however - and you will see, you are already “enough”.

@Matt8 Right on. “Think” about it in the ways that feel best to you. Let feeling guide. Make a dreamboard so everything you want can be more readily seen and come into focus. Read up on people who’ve done what you want to do, or have done similar things. Email them, ask if maybe they’re have a video call. Whatever you focus on, you’ll get more of in any case. Focus on what you want, and people, connections, and opportunities will arise. When thoughts arise which feel resistant to what you want, ponder their opposite for truth. For example, write down “it’ll be easy because......”. Transcending mindsets and generating feeling about it, is what makes it ‘work’, and imo is what makes life worthwhile - creating it. The universe, reality, wants you to have what you want, as “it” is not “separate” at all. It’s not objective. You’re creating.

@Raptorsin7 Feeling’s never wrong. ??

“Alienation” is one interpretation. What is it that you want in your life which is more worthy of your time, and more inspiring than the internet? In that same vein, what is it which you want to begin getting traction on? What is it which you are creating for this life, which all else is a relative distraction to? You’re telling a story about yourself which does not feel good because it is not true. You can’t “become a better person”, you can educate yourself (google) on self judgement and understand it and it’s origin in your life, and in doing so you will be more emotionally aware, change the story you’re telling about yourself, have more confidence & be more authentic & at peace...all of which is attractive and will pair perfectly with dating. Without recreating / repeating the beliefs & stories about yourself, which again, do not feel good because it’s not honest or true of you, there wouldn’t be such a strong belief in need. Wanting human interaction, such as dating, works very well for dating. It might seem counter intuitive to you currently, but people want to want and be wanted. Being “needed”, emotionally speaking, is a burden and people intuitively sense it. If it resonates with them, they don’t like how it feels, and project their own vulnerability and self beliefs, back onto other people, which you might call dis-traction. On both accounts, your life and dating, what you’re looking for, is at-traction. The first step in attraction, is defining what it is you want to attract. Write down (dreamboard is best) everything you want. If you struggle with this, write down everything you know you don’t want, and then take a break, and later write the opposite of each thing you wrote down. That would reveal what you want, and it’ll feel good too...since it’s...what you want...which simply means....what feels good, to you.

@Nadosa Maybe what you’re calling “feeling separate” is feeling & thought in discord. If so, that means when you are resisting “feeling separate”, you’re choosing the thought instead of listening to the feeling. There is no assertion. “They” are not “pulling you back into your ego”. It won’t help you, to blame them. Your belief about yourself is being triggered. Feeling says let it go. Thinking is saying “no. not ready to”. That’s fine, but at least the suffering is understood. You’re not defending yourself, I suspect, you’re defending being right, about the belief, which doesn’t feel good anyways. “Body” is not actual, other than to say it is actually a thought. A word you learned when you were younger. The actuality is consciousness, and even beyond that, the actuality is ineffable.

@Brivido If you’ve not read it, The Alchemist has a unique way of bringing the ‘good, marvelous and how special life is’ to the surface. Also Dying To Be Me can be very moving. Ask & It Is Given & a dreamboard are tough to beat.