Nahm

+1

I = me. Not two. ?

In thought there is a ‘liver of lives’, and perception is veiled. In thought there is time, and perception is veiled. In thought there are liberated people, life & death, awake & asleep, and perception is veiled. In thought there is perception, and the truth is veiled.

“He was angry and afraid”. With these interpretations, you will be too. Can’t resent enough to make him happy.

You. ?

The belief in personal growth is discordant with the truth that there are no people or separate selves. Holding that belief or framing, naturally you’ll experience weird dreams all about separate selves and weird happenings therein, because the mind has to wrestle between what is actual and what is believed… which happened as you’re waking up in the morning btw, even though it seems like it’s a memory of a dream that happened while you were sleeping. Being open minded (no need to ‘get it’) to this next time it happens will change how it’s thought of and experienced, and the nightmares will stop. (The shooting & lost in the woods) You are already and always Home, there’s no picking between people, and there are no doors one can exit love through. (The ex’s) The ex is equally as real & unreal as the dreamt second ex. (Ardenes) Because there are no separate selves, any judgments are mental ‘crap you don’t need’.

The loop is that you believe some thoughts are accurate about yourself. The truth is no thought is accurate about yourself. Notice when attention is oriented outward, these are the ‘highs’ you mentioned. When attention is focused inward thought wise, notice, there is the ‘low’ you’re experiencing. The ripping / joking is exactly the same. It brings up the discordant feeling thoughts about yourself. Then there is a behavioral reflex or reaction, effort, or inclination to defend that ‘separate self’. But there are only thoughts about, there is no self the thoughts are actually about. Also, confidence really is a con, a collective belief. That belief keeps the highs & lows going. Two cents… when that ‘triggering’ happens next, bust through it with more humor in noting the absurdity of no thought being about you. It really is a ridiculous situation, and you really just have to throw your hands up, let it go, and have a laugh.

If everything is interpretation, then there is real reality out there, regardless of what you think and interpret, and no one can interpret differently or think anything otherwise.

Haven’t met ‘superwoman’ but I’ve been to the place below and highly, highly recommend it. https://www.aspaforyou.com/aspaforyou.htm

Change the lens from avoidance to what you want, and you’ll feel way better and have much more clarity. Sounds like you’re waffling, going back & fourth, which is indicative of ‘pinching yourself off’ from truth, like vacuuming without it being plugged in. You’ll likely see ‘both’ are entirely possible. Always entirely up to you. If you do already know with some certainty that you want to end the relationship, the separative (you and this other thing you’re avoiding, the truth) perspective might be the very thing pulling you back to the relationship.

Peace can not become a reality or be actualized because it’s already the default. If we all just stood still for five minutes and didn’t do anything to the contrary, there’d be five minutes of world peace.

@roopepa Well, what about taking responsibility for what you focus on, and therein, how you feel? In a nutshell, less judging, more loving. That’s within your power & always entirely up to you. It also doesn’t require any action or effort. I’d do so simply for how it feels, since all you want is to feel great. Nothing about the body needs to change for you to change your opinions, perspectives, etc. Daily meditation, for some space around old patterns of thinking could be most helpful. Also, don’t underestimate how the simplest of changes has a profound change in orientation and momentum ensues. Hypothetically, things as simple as writing down today, that tomorrow you’ll do five push ups in the morning, and cut one thing from your diet. Then tomorrow there’s less tendency toward thinking because you know what you want to do, since you wrote it down. Small steps really do add up.

It’s entirely up to you. Yes indeed.

But her past keeps bugging me. I want to maximize the success of my marriage. That's the only thing I value. The main issue that bugging me is her past, and that she isn't a virgin. That's all. As I said this is purely concerned with results and making some institution work. Women serving men is necessary for the survival of the family. Man is the leader and woman is the follower. Women serve men. The kind of mental gymnastics people play here and pretend that they don't know is just hilarious to me. Value isn’t “relative”, it’s your opinion, your way of thinking about people. It’s just a belief. It involves the mental gymnastics of rationalizing, justifying and defending your judgments and hypocrisy. The surprising thing here is that she wants to be with you given you’re projecting this way of thinking and all of your unresolved inner conflicts onto her. At least she’s honest. It’s surprising any female wants to spend time with any male thinking about females the way you are. Makes me wonder why she wants to.

Mental, psychological, and physical are thoughts. When the thought activity of ‘mental’, ‘psychological’ and ‘physical’ are naturally, meditatively allowed to come to rest, there are not these things.

@Charlotte That’s what’s so amazing about you really, that there isn’t.

?? God is so good.

@fopylo The “experiences you don’t have” aren’t experiences at all, but are thoughts. The one who doesn’t have them is also a thought. You can experience flying, being in a cartoon, still having the room and building a space company but you’re infinitely intelligent & unconditionally loving, so you instead created this reality which is superior to those notions. That’s great. Then consider why it doesn’t feel that good, and then you know what does feel good / what you do want, and write that on the dreamboard.

When you focus on what you want, you feel good because, it’s what you want. There are experiences you want to have, and you can have them. Thoughts arise about someone who is insecure and has low self esteem. These thoughts do not feel good. You believe these thoughts do not feel good because they are true about you, and you believe this is just ‘something you have to work on’. These thoughts do not feel good precisely because they are not true about you. There is no work you could do which will result in these thoughts feeling good to you. This is because all you really want is to feel amazing everyday, and these thoughts about someone do not feel amazing. You are in fact, amazing. You are in fact, not that someone, which you believe the thoughts are about. People are experiencing the experiences that you desire to experience. People who are not believing these discordant limiting beliefs (thoughts). You are jealous of those people, specifically, that they are not limiting themselves by believing discordant thoughts. When you see this, you feel good in recognizing the experience(s) you desire. When you believe the discordant thoughts about a yourself, you don’t like how this feels. You’re in the middle in this regard, and it does get better. Letting beliefs go is what feels better. Meditation feels good to you because it is a break from these thoughts, and the believing of them, and the identifying with or by them, and the discordant feeling each time you do so. Understanding the emotions you are experiencing feels good, because jealousy let’s you know of more experiences which you can experience, and desire to. With Improv Writing, you continue to focus on what you do want, and not on the discordant self referential thoughts. With Expressive Journaling, you empty your head of these discordant thoughts and see them in front of you. From this vantage point much clarity is realized as you go. It feels amazing everyday to align with, to be in communion with, truth. You love seeing what others are creating & experiencing, and you love that you can focus on what you want, and experience it too. Sincerity & authentically expressing what you desire to experience comes naturally to you. Effortlessly. Because you are a creator.

@Javfly33 Nothing’s really wrong with it. On the silver lining side, it’s just more woman available for those who aren’t.

The first joke has nothing to do with her desire for a relationship & doesn’t reduce her by objectifying people. The second joke reveals the motive & true colors. You might say the wrong person blew it. Faking being genuinely interested in someone is off putting, but you don’t really care about that do you.

@Vynce God bless ???

That there is a you which is having “insights” is like the ‘out there’ & ‘in here’. That is the perpetuation of thought attachment, or, monkey mind (you are not a monkey). There is neither, but thought(s) seem to make it so. Same for ‘ground’ & ‘groundless’. Like clouds & the clear sky, without the monkey mind, there simply is no desire or craving for a remedy (ground). ? Without believing insight is more than thought, and in kind, without thought attachment, there is a certain ‘seeing the innocence of God’s children’, so to speak, and no more ‘sick feeling’.

That statement seems outrageous as in this experience it’s literally the complete opposite. Very very weird.

Consciousness is often spoken of here through the veil of ignorance via thought attachment, so consciousness is often thought of and spoken of dualistically, as if there were a separate self which is ‘a level of conscious’ or could be ‘becoming’ ‘conscious’. Then via continued assumption (thought attachment), it seems there must be a mechanism of or for ‘becoming’ ‘unconscious’. But consciousness is not a duality, and there is no separate self which becomes conscious or unconscious. This is basically materialism + spiritual ego + denial. There isn’t ‘something else’ which ‘requires consciousness’ because consciousness is nondual. It can’t be seen there is a mechanism because there isn’t. Even a mechanism in this regard would be two. Without thought attachment. Meditation. This question is not the end of the monkey mind, it is the perpetuation.