Nahm

In a way they are opposites. Derealization is experiencing the external world as unreal, depersonalization is experiencing a body mind as unreal, awakening is realization of reality, rather than unreality.

@Koeke Are you making money, affording your own place, supporting yourself, paying bills etc?

@Bill Hunter Much love man ??. I’d ‘be where you are’ so to speak, here & now, where relaxation, letting go, forgiving yourself, understanding and healing are available... vs thinking ahead to future & relationship. Perspectives change a ton and things can all seem very different from compared to where you’re at now. The more you understand from researching / reading, feeling and releasing, the more you’ll see things differently in great ways when the relationship does come around. Focus on doing all that you can to get yourself ready for a relationship. Let go of what doesn’t feel good and you’ll inherently raise your vibration, and experience will be liquid & flow than solid & difficult, if you will. If only we had dubbed the term being human, rather than human beings you know? Imo it points a little more to the truth that we’re all innocent and nobody really knows what the hell they’re / we’re doing. It’s really guesswork for everyone, so don’t beat up on yourself. Value letting go & forgiving yourself and others, and you will live a superior life in many if not all ways. We learn by experience. Focus on what you’ve learned from your experiences. Take a minute to notice, to realize, that you’re more conscious now than you were before, and that has something to do with why the past is coming up and bothering you. Gotta notice it’s precisely because you’re not in the same place so to speak that you were back then. Back then, you did whatever because of where you were at. Everybody would have done exactly what you did if they were you. It’s ok, you’re ok, and you can let it go. Takes time. Relax & breath deeply and be patient and loving with yourself as much as you can. And I wouldn’t give much attention to the soul ties stuff. Instead, try to understand judgement is the biggest and most inherent & fundamental problem for us all. Everybody wrestles with it like you are now. Everybody goes through it. With respect to your friend, recognize how you feel when you judge yourself like you are lately, and that he feels that way too when does it, even though he might not be recognizing that yet. I believe you can. No one who is judging would continue to do so when they become aware they’re doing it, because of how it feels. Feel your compassion for this human condition. Also, begin to inspect & notice, to make the shift ...that guilt is not a feeling, it’s a perspective. It’s found in thinking. It requires you to focus on a situation that isn’t happening but is a memory of the past, then to derive a perspective & interpretation of what transpired...which is not jiving with truth / the higher self / your inner being / the unconditional love that Is and is for you and is available to you always. Muster willingness to relax, and say, maybe it’s my perspective about this that isn’t jiving here’. I can’t possibly suggest strongly enough that it is only the perspective which does not resonate or feel good, and that you are perfec exactly as you are right now. You might consider, that there must be an unconditional love, because we can feel our perspectives, our conditions. Bill’s likely short for William. With a different interpretation & perspective, your name is Will Hunter. Which path wise is pretty damn cool, and insightful. I think you’ll find the will, I think it’s in you.

@OBEler It sounds like you’re in between paradigms / perspectives / interpretations that how you feel is caused by outside sources or an external world...and that how you feel is only directly relative to the perspectives, thoughts, views & interpretations you’re holding. That transition in life is perfectly natural, innocent... and unavoidable, unless one distracts from feeling by missing that thinking about feeling is not feeling, in the same and likely highly relevant sense that thinking about relaxation is not the feeling of relaxation, and letting perspectives of discord go by figuring them out or trying to resolve them, is not actually letting them go. Distracting from feeling by thinking about feeling....rather than letting thinking go & feeling, slows down understanding, personal growth, and the natural changing of perspectives allowing realizations, insights & epiphanies to arise. It’d work itself out from meditation, inspection & the living of life. Psychedelics accelerate the seeing of this transition, leaving you to do the feeling & letting go ‘work’, which could be considered the most fundamental transition / growth / expansion a human experiences (letting go of thoughts / perspectives / interpretations that don’t resonate / taking ownership of how you feel & what experience you create). This would be especially difficult if you took a psychedelic, but were not seeing this, and therefore applying the old paradigm to an experience / substance which is showing you the new one. A ‘frame’ if you will for the sake of communicating....we’re born, we create much misunderstanding, we suffer (feeling the thoughts which are of misunderstanding), we recognize the suffering is caused by misunderstanding, we emotionally release misunderstanding, and understanding, peace, and love ‘fills in’ / is revealed. Also, same thing but different verbiage....that old paradigm is basically what keeps the identifying at play, the new one is the result of letting the old one go, which is very emotional, so again, noticing the tendency for distraction, and choosing not to, to do breathing / feeling into the body exercises instead, seeing emotion comes and goes, is key. In avoidance of feeling and letting go, the mind weaves a narrative about everything else to essentially justify the feeling which doesn’t feel good with interpretations like...unpleasant, nothing special happens, more realistic perspective on this substance, something is wrong / i did something wrong, pure mental stress, fear, ego, ego death, ego dying, negative feelings, bad mood, depressed, etc. These are all thoughts about feeling. Every single one of them is only a thought about feeling, not feeling. None of the thoughts are actually about you, they’re only being believed to be about you. You are the awareness, which is aware of, and not attached to, the thoughts.

@OBEler Again, just a perspective, and admittedly, respectfully, it might seem like a bold one for you.......what if you take a minute to reconsider your entire interpretation of the experience from the standpoint that you are, in a very literal sense, making up that there is an “ego”, and “fear”? How would you describe the experience if you took away those terms?

Distraction is avoidance of feeling, 5meo is the complete opposite. One perspective is that you were using it to feel better, and it was doing it’s thing, and it shed light on resistance & avoidance of feeling / brought that you’ve been going that route to the surface, as well as brought feeling to the surface. That’s just one interpretation. Sorry to hear of the break up.

@Bill Hunter Give this a read, and maybe share your thoughts on it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201506/9-ways-talk-yourself-out-unnecessary-guilt

Awareness isn’t a perspective.

You need more experience of reality. Practices, expression, loving, retreats, trips...anything that is less thinking and more feeling & experiencing. Reality is limited by your perspective. Direct experience expands it. No one else can expand your perspective. Given where you’re at, I wouldn’t entertain any more perspectives from anyone. Go see, so to speak. Let go of everything you’ve heard everything you think & think you may know. Empty your cup. Start scrutinizing the actuality, the direct experience of right now. I don’t know if you’ll be able to notice the actuality of this, but when you say it’s so absurd, the ‘it’ you’re referring to is your own perspective. Let go of thoughts & perspectives that don’t resonate, that don’t feel good to you. Holding them when feeling ‘isn’t going there with you’ is the suffering. You can not think suffering, you can only self realize transcending it. All experience is relative to you. Expanding your mind & perspective abiding in feeling is critical, in comparison to believing perspectives which don’t feel good. Let every single one of those go. Yes, it’s because it’s your belief. The way of ‘eliminating’ it, is recognizing it doesn’t resonate, and you are suffering by continuing to put your attention on it (your belief / perspective). You can choose how you feel over what you believe, you can put how you feel first - and choose to focus on something which does resonate. There are ‘full circles’, where you come back to something later on the path, and it does resonate & make sense. If you’re around 20...compare how you see the world now, perspectives, to when you were 10. It’s very different, yet reality was in a sense always the same. Perspective. If you utilize the effortless power of focus, attention, and expand your mind, you have from where you’re at now in perspectives, to realizing the actuality of infinite unconditional love. And those words don’t do any justice at all to what they point to. You can do this. Only you can do this. It is already afoot. I’d start with a new user name and pic. It’s funny but still.

@Leilani ??

Well you might say it’s already ‘set up’ perfectly so that you don’t even need to remember or remind yourself. Feeling is always letting you know about how conditional the current perspective is. It’s there from the first day to the last, and you can’t even take it off if you tried, constant guidance we can abide in or even ignore if we choose. (But that ignore-ance is what suffering is ??) Also, there will be a subtle discord (suffering) in the conditional perspective that an activity such as video games is trivial. The indirect offset in mind would be that there are “BIG THINGS” in life which are not trivial. Feeling will remain unconditional, and there is a good chance you’ll misinterpret perspective & feeling in that regard, believing the not-so-good-feeling is ‘because you’re not good enough’, or ‘can’t do it’....rather than because you’re claiming it’s a “BIG DEAL”. Not harder, funnier, more interesting, more exciting, actual and invigorating......make a dreamboard.

Expressed what you really want in this life, such as onto a dreamboard? Profoundly, deeply, unabashedly - actually. It’s like if you thought you saw a mirror in your peripheral vision, but then upon closer inspection saw that it was really a window. It’d be hard to see it as a mirror again, since it wasn’t / isn’t. Same for the activity of the mind, and that which it actually is, or you might say understanding, and Being.

At the same time, that there is no backlash could actually be the backlash. Can be sneaky, never know.

That understanding may explain why. ?? A backlash without the comparison isn’t quite the same experience. Likewise, it’s actually hard to notice understanding you already understand. It ‘becomes’ the radar so to speak, and is no longer on the radar. Great work / devotion btw.

@peachboy *PwP.♥️

Because they haven’t inspected it, even though there is suffering. If it’s frightening, it’s not realization. Awareness.

@Bulgarianspirit Beliefs. Apparently. Disproving a belief = pretending it’s true.

Solipsism is a belief, like Santa clause. I say there is a Santa clause. Now, disapprove my belief. Ya can’t. Because it’s a belief to begin with. Why in the world would anyone believe such a belief? Fear.

Limit is never an object observed, but rather is within observation.

Becoming attentive to what one has been inattentive to, is miraculous. Everything changes.

What other people think & want, is what you think other people think & want. A valid occasion to tell people what they think & want never actually arises, but is a perpetual opportunity for peace & silence, listening & understanding, compassion & deeper knowing of Self, awareness of reaction. Recognizing a belief is enough. Consider the difference between a belief and the truth. The river is belief. The actuality of all rivers is the real-I-zation, your true nature. You are ‘the stuff’ rivers are ‘made of’. You are the getting swept away in them too. A no lose situation; ocean indeed appears to be rivers.

Mind says there is relative & absolute love, while the heart suffers the crusade. A worthwhile right of passage, the price of youth is. There is little else to do.

@Koeke How’s your life dream going?

@John Iverson That was great. Write it again, without any of what you don’t want. Only write what you do want. No extra words. This is not a petty exercise. This will show you a lot of about how you think.