Nahm

@Raptorsin7 Just a two cents testimony… so to speak, marriage (and family therein) is easily the single greatest decision I’ve ever made. It’s like every day is Christmas x♾ . It’s a thoughts about vs the actuality of the direct experience situation. The depth is ineffable in comparison to dating / playing mind games with people / manipulating self & other, meaningless sex, etc, and in regard to hearing the words but not having the direct experience. Careful not to mentally jump over the great experience of meeting someone first. Be getting ready for that, making your life awesome (vs ruminating). If you marry at all, it’ll be like you think it will. So think the greatest feeling thoughts about it.

Journal and don’t type self referential thoughts. No offense I hope but… obviously, right? If it’s too overwhelming… just go do something for someone else, without any gain whatsoever for yourself. Kind of a sure fire shortcut. Then maybe write about how that experience felt. If assurance is desired, feeling is conditional, contextualized, and now believed to be contingent upon, other people saying the right thing, to make you feel better. You say it - expression. Let the gaming of others go. Share the love that you are freely. Unabashedly. Without contingency.

Believes thoughts about you, yet never actually thinks about you. You can’t be seen either, no need to worry about that thought either. Conditioning, thought attachment, and emotional suppression would be why. Kinda the how. “My whole life is a lie” isn’t actual. The thought arising about a my whole life, which is conceptual, is believed or not. But it is the thoughts which is, so to speak, the “lie” or simply, not true per se, but conceptualization. https://youtu.be/2X5Dr-uFVGw ”Cause I couldn’t tell, why everyone here was doin me like they do”. This, right now, is ‘your whole life’. This is the real, not the past or future. What do you want to focus on and experience next?

@Fearless_Bum Hard for who? @Salvijus ??

@Fearless_Bum There is only to notice what’s asked about is what’s transpiring. It is the very believing and thus asking. There isn’t “that one”. There isn’t that “you’d”. Let the self referential thought go instead.

But there isn’t what is not focused on. One’s focus, the other’s a thought about focus believed. But so to speak, you’ve got to include the fact there is no separate self, no “focuser”. Notice the ‘separate self’ which is only thoughts. The “one who learns”, the “one who is wondering”, the “one to whom focus is a concept”, the “understander” of “concepts”. The “one who uses eyes”, the “one who is in a material world”. All actually thoughts / there isn’t that “one”. The “one who focuses on consciousness / reality”. It’s allowing the self referential thoughts to settle / come to rest. Because there is no such thing, as things. There is not two in any way. There isn’t that “me”, and therein there is no “one” or “thing” to disidentify from. That “one” is thoughts. Disidentify is just another thought.

@Intraplanetary Right on, yes. The ‘separate self’ of thought is perpetuated & believed in, by believing, thoughts… lingering on via I, me, my, mine, myself, etc. These thoughts are references to an assumed identity and or entity which does not actually exist in any way. Likewise, it can be noticed there is also no ‘thinker’ of thoughts… only the thoughts that there is, and the ‘claiming’ (me, my, mine) and believing of the ‘claiming thoughts’ therein. You didn’t hear this from me though.

@Forza21 Sounds like a glimpse of cessation. States is another contextualization, like “I’m” and “view”, it’s the thought activity of “my” and “state”. Just recognizing this as thought & meditatively letting it go is ample. It’d be counter productive to continue to focus on it beyond acknowledging it’s thoughts. Focus more so on the good feeling of the glimpse. Allow that same good feeling to arise anytime. Recognize thought activity of validation as thoughts also. Careful with the mental framing of ‘you got there’, ‘it’s hard’, ‘can I get there again’, etc. Notice that also is just thoughts, and the “getting there” wasn’t a thought based getting there, but the opposite. “Trying to get rid of” is adding resistance, and can also be recognized as thought narrative / thoughts. Relax, feel & allow, vs trying or focusing on being against anything in experience.

Meditate every morning. If angry, and can’t relax into meditation, express it in some way. Use the scale and express each emotion upwards. Talk to someone, write, maybe a journal here on the forum or whatever works for you to let it out / get it off your chest.

Be in control of what you are in control of, and let the weight of what you aren’t go. Don’t flirt with the line. Be forgiving & understanding of ignorance, and don’t adopt the suffering. Enjoy whatever he is while he is for just what he is. Don’t expect or attempt anything else. Let yourself off the hook for his behaviors & happiness, his alignment & discord therein. You interpret how you want to, and you feel how you want to. Take whatever time away you want and if you want to, tell him you are and why. The more you zoom out and completely let it go from mind altogether, the clearer it gets and the better you feel. Sometimes it’s counterintuitive once zoomed in for a long while. Also, that falling out might be things workin out. Difficult emotionally maybe, but probably felt good to get it out / address it too.

@fopylo Hope asking isn’t taken in any uncomfortable way. Sounds like you’re holding expectations upon meditation. Let those go to.

@Javfly33 Lot of conceptualization and discordant reasoning there, but, ok. I mean, what can anyone say to you when you already know so much?

@fopylo How many mornings have you meditated in a row and for how many minutes?

I mean, in regard to ‘getting rid of that feeling’, it’s really letting the believing of that thought story go. There’s no self or past the thoughts are about.

There’s no separate self or past, just the thoughts about.

@Someone here ? Love ya bro.

“What you chase is chasing you.”

In the hindsight of being in a relationship, spirituality, psychology and personal development were just concepts ruminated on in aversion. Like protecting a conceptual bubble from getting burst.

There are only reasons for unhappiness, and that’s only if the thoughts are believed in spite of the discord of the reasoning. Happiness doesn’t ever come from your life or notions of satisfaction with your life. It seems happiness could or would be at a point in the future, but (via thought attachment) life goes by without realizing there is no future, and it never happens. Happiness is what’s happening, but thought makes it seem like a future attainment. There’s no ‘I am happiness’ option in the poll.

If there is discord, it’s fair to say life is teaching you something. Fair enough imo to phrase it that way. Life, being of course unconditional love, the ‘teaching’ being to see more clearly, to love. In regard to a judge in the sky, a separate self & an afterlife therein, there is none of these. You might say, God’s love questioning God’s love is so intrinsically absurd it’s actually hysterical. Without believing in egos, meaning, value & purpose, is there the possibility of fear, guilt, shame, and the manipulation therein?

??

@Ivan Dimi Amen.

Depends if one believes feeling is good or bad.

@4201 If you want to stop believing thoughts, there is meditation. If it’s difficult, there is expression & understanding emotions. What there isn’t, is something which needs to be fixed. Without the paradigm of needing, there is realization of wanting.

I think the realizations sought would be easier if you didn’t make it so much about me. Maybe not though. It might be expression which upon expressing, you experience more clarity for having expressed. If that’s the case, pile on at will. Each is the same singularity, infinite one, and each in kind attracts. Loa isn’t an entity which is or could be right or wrong. It doesn’t matter if loa is believed or not. I’m rally fine with however you think about it, or interpret it. If you don’t care for what I offer in regard to loa, I’m also fine with not being asked about it. Ok. Ok. Ok.