Nahm

Love is the absence of the separate self of thoughts. Love is the absence of people. Love is the absence of judgement. Love is the absence of even absence. Love abhors a vacuum & fills all which is emptied. Love is cessation of all else, and all else, is thoughts.

The truth shall set you free. Nothing helps us realize there is a path via the discord of aversion. Meditation. The emotional scale. Plethora of healing modalities. What is a self referential thought.

@Vivaldo Most sincerely & intimately, why do you want that?

@Wijuu Not having had sex yet doesn’t equal sex deprived. Careful with internalizing, self defining. You haven’t walked on the moon either, but you don’t create the belief in one who is moonwalking deprived.

What did you learn? What is it that you now know much more so, much more specifically, what you want?

Forgiveness is for suckers. I’d keep believing there’s a you and a them, and you’re right & good and they are evil & wrong. One’s own ignorance has absolutely nothing to do with it. Never forgive! ✊? Never!!! Living with the discord ain’t as bad as people make it out to be.

Two questions one answer… the emotional scale. He’s experiencing these things and has to find his own way regardless. Blood really does blind. For most it seems getting help from a stranger still constitutes ‘my own way’, but from family, the relationships, memories, bonds, etc, are to pronounced and infringe on ‘my own way’. If it were my brother I’d send a link to the scale but use someone else’s site. No. There’s an old quote… “When you’re not practicing, he is. When you meet him, you will lose.” It’s not really. It was a friendly and engaging orange oriented phrasing, albeit slightly provocative to maybe get his attention. Life is supposed to be fun. Some people understand this via understanding emotions, and there’s no competition with those intrinsically happy people, cause everything just works out for them. They aren’t competing. They just get out of their own way and allow. He probably has some common beliefs (@21) like life basically sucks because to be successful you have to work twice as hard, and I have to just ‘bury the discord’, etc. Self defeating beliefs. He’s only fighting himself so to speak, his own misinterpretations (mostly conditioning). If he caught wind that successful people don’t work twice as hard, but do understand their emotions, he might take interest in a far more productive & enjoyable, and far less discordant way of interpreting, and he might care about understanding emotions. It’s letting go of how one gets in one’s own way, which one knows entirely already, from how it feels. A general way to say it, holding discordant beliefs / being right, vs being open minded & happy.

It’s the not focusing on thoughts & concepts. The ‘other than’ thought attachment / thought activity / conceptualizing. Yes.

(Just to be communicatively clear)….it’s not about in front of him or not, it’s about feeling the reactions and not reacting. It’s literally not about him at all. The reactions just naturally dissolve / are seen through. To bring clarity and an end to the hours or days, and even minutes or second of suffering, understand the emotions you are experiencing by willfully expressing them. Again, I do not mean ‘to him’. Just for you to understand and unfetter. And of course, daily Meditation. Conceptualizations, the activity of thought that there is a you and a him, will fissile out, and an ineffable & easy to appreciate miracle is instead experienced.

?? @Rishabh R One isn’t quite not two.

First I’d try what @Windappreciator recommended. If that doesn’t work, just be honest. Excellent title btw.

It’s words someone is saying. Notice, you are already remaining untouched. Most significantly, notice, you believe that isn’t true (presently). That there is a problem to solve is conceptual, your belief. If he made jokes about you being a refrigerator, you’d not be triggered, you’d think it was ridiculous and made no sense, but you wouldn’t be bothered at all by it. If the fridge humor had some wit to it, you might even laugh. Some jokes bother you, because they trigger your beliefs about yourself. To dissolve, do nothing. Feel the reaction / triggering, and relax and let it go. You’ll see that you’ll feel just fine, and didn’t need anyone to be different, but only thought that you did. Don’t defend, and don’t expect anyone to change, as that keeps the reactions going. People stop making fun of you when you no longer offer the vibration of insecurity & powerlessness. When you don’t do anything, which is to say basically just relax and sit there and wait and don’t give any response at all… a shift occurs, in which he has now the space to feel the discord of his own remarks. What he says is not indicative of you, only of him. When you react, you join in the discord of his thinking. But you never have to. Allow him to make such remarks, from his place of insecurity & powerlessness. Understand, and don’t stoop. There’s no separate self to defend. But thinking (and continuing to be reactive) makes it seem so. ‘Be the change you wish to see’. MG (Vs expecting or trying to get other people to change, so you can feel better) Control is realized by letting it go. Believing you don’t exist, while you are existence? Spiritual bypassing doesn’t pan out. If dad gets the cosmic joke, I can see where you could be laughing a lot more, with “him”, vs, well, you sure seem to believe he (and “everyone”) exists. But I digress, as the spidey senses say Nahm has been in the ‘dad category’ for a good while now.

Undo this way of thinking (overall op) / get back to the way you looked at things before, by letting it go each time it arises, by focusing on feeling breathing from the stomach. Allow the ‘why’ of this change to simply be - because of the discord. The future purpose and serious thinking will naturally disappear like any discordant concept no longer fed attention, and more & more the creativity which never went anywhere, is felt, know, and seen as, now. The real you. Not the thoughts, or, the purpose driven concept of you. Make a dreamboard. This makes it clear you’re creating all of it, and all the dots connect. The vantage of seeing it all in front of you, is very different than ‘floating around in your head’ or saved in files. It’s all for fun. Nothing serious or conceptual really happening here. (But thinking that way makes it seem so). Use the emotional scale. The key recognition from doing so will be that one must let discordant thoughts go, to feel content, and then move on to the emotions you’re desiring to feel, naturally. As you do there is less back & fourth, less ups & downs, in no longer carrying the discord, or, trying to bring it with you so to speak, and feel better and more creative. I think you’ll find nothing need be done at all for creativity, sans not suppressing it with conceptualizing it (and yourself).

Essentially, gamma waves. There isn’t self referential thought activity, and so experientially there is much more focus, absorption, and natural enjoyment of. Not that it’s bad to research, but it won’t equal the direct experience. Have to meditate daily. Twice a day, ideally.

@Tim R Can’t put something in, without helping to allowing something out first. Your helping must follow his expressing, or it isn’t helpful. What might strike a chord with him…. When he’s not expressing the frustration, and acknowledging and understanding that he is experiencing pessimism, and boredom… he isn’t experiencing the orientation & understanding of returning to contentment… but other people are, and when he meets them, he will lose. He will have defeated himself. Highly successful people are very happy people, because they understand getting out of their own way. He might be thinkin it’s one or the other, that they aren’t one in the same, and resenting “the world”, or others, or you… (but really unknowingly feeling the discord of his own concept & conceptualizing), and not connecting the dots with the frustration, and pessimism from his current outlook / lens / self imposed limited understanding.

@fopylo Ok. Expression & meditation aren’t methods. Sounds like you’re conceptualizing them, and doing them inconsistently, and then concluding they don’t really ‘work’ and or you’re not doing them ‘right’. They are relaxation & alignment (better feeling, natural) in and of themself. Like how eating equals full / not hungry. Expression & meditation, like eating, and not to produce a future change, but are for the direct experience. Sounds like the same discordant thoughts are arising, and are being suppressed with thinking about meditation, the breath, etc, and how these ‘methods’ are supposed to ‘fix’ this, but aren’t working. These discordant thoughts seems to be used to mask & suppress the prior discordant thoughts. If so, understand the jealousy, anger & frustration by expressing it, vs suppressing it and focusing on thoughts about meditation. Notice / consider for a moment, what you’re doing, the task at hand, camp, etc… notice the much bigger picture. There is a tremendous opportunity to appreciate & feel the selflessness of it. But I could see where being young, the natural tendency is to return again & again to the more selfish desires & thoughts, and thus feel the resistance. Not saying there’s anything wrong with that at all, just that it could be insightful, maybe clarifying in a way, and allowing of better feeling.

The good news is that’s self conceptualization, not self realization. Unless you love whatever depression means to you, then indeed, yes you are. Let concepts go, feel emotions.

@Yarco For Babe Ruth it was knocking that ball out of the park. He loved it because he was made for it. For me it’s the very exorcism you speak of. Link’s below. This is not meant humorously.

Are you aware? Are you aware, that you are, aware? Now name anything, which in your direct experience, has the property of being aware. How carelessly & haphazardly nothing is spoken of, in spite of the suffering in believing & doing so. A rather complete ignore-ance of direct experience. You aren’t unmotivated & depressed because your thoughts are true. Only because you’re believing they are. As the creator of reality, you could do a bit better my friend.

God’s not imagining limits upon itself. God’s just apparently gullible.

@Forza21 Freeeedooom!!!!! Also, there’s only one thought at a time so to speak. ‘They’ is one thought, ‘all’ is one thought. Like a hundred thoughts is not a hundred thoughts, but is of course one thought about a hundred thoughts.

@Javfly33 It seems like there’s someone pushing an agenda because of the framing of I am right or wrong and they, he, she, is right or wrong. There isn’t a right or wrong, those are just, well, I digress. Everybody’s right sometimes and wrong sometimes, and no one is ever actually right or wrong.

Thought attachment can’t be overcome, as overcome is only another thought. Observation yes. Meditation. Inspection. Understanding. Focusing on perception & feeling. Expression. Overcome could be framed as an approach, or an orientation, which has an underlying assumption there is something to overcome. The opposite approach is loa, that you are creating by default. So if there is anything to be overcome, it would be because you are making it so. (Seem so). Movements of the mind so to speak, can be noticed & inspected, as in questioned, and also noticed with more and more subtlety. Like value for example. The only valuable advice is meditation, but meditation isn’t really advice, and thus there’s no valuable advice.

Relief points to feels better, alignment. Also, writing about a nonexistent second / separate self could reinforce thought attachment. It’s not about constructive imo, it’s just for the feeling, for alignment, nothing more. For constructing, look to life & conscious creating.

@Judy2 Careful not to hold the taking of things too literally, over whatever expression feels like relief, feels better.