Nahm

(This is not the popular opinion on this forum...but) I would hold no intention or expectation whatsoever. I would do it only for the interest, curiosity, for the experience itself. If you catch my drift, this is in the same vein as

@28 cm unbuffed Just curious, what led to taking 11 - 12 dried grams? Was there a resource / recommendation? Also, what was your foundation like prior to the trip?

Thanks for expanding. That part I get. Takes time from what I’ve seen. This, perception of self, I don’t get. So likewise, this. Maybe you are meaning in the conventional self awareness sense? The lower hanging fruit like awareness of one’s own behavior?

@PurpleTree Can you see / feel where it is a bit ‘off’ to imply God would need man to... Also, do you acknowledge some implied dualities & self referential thoughts there?

@neutralempty What do you mean then?

@neutralempty I think it’d be more accurate if that picture depicted the man looking the other way, and covering the reflection, in relation to the topic. I very well might be missing what you’re saying, or implying but not saying. Not sure. If you mean in terms of Self recognition, it’d seem to be an almost perfectly opposite list of behaviorally descriptive attributes, in regard to the Mayo Clinic’s findings / descriptions.

How so?

@Vittorio I love ya brother, the transmutation is downright beautiful. Very happy for you. I would caution however to go through such thoughts & perspectives with the fine tooth comb of what of the basis for such views is direct experience, in comparison to extrapolation from personal experience to collective, individuations, and our source if you will. A YouTube search of Rupert Spira being asked questions on free will might yield some deeper recognition of the spontaneous nature of experience.

No, not at all. Here’s some more specific info (below). Just opinion of course, but I’d be really careful about such a blanket lens. It’d be a trap to mistake judgement for one’s own authoritative measurement contingent on correlations (thoughts) between ‘awake’ & ‘ego consciousness’. There can be seemingly (falsely) awakened narcissists. It is entirely possible to “have awakening experiences” and perpetuate misidentification / dilute, refuse psychological help, refute all feedback, and ‘triple down’ if you will, on a more grandiose bypassing. As well, there are what someone might call ‘ego consciousness’ folks who are authentic, sincere, selfless & loving. Overview Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism. A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them. Symptoms Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can: Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it Exaggerate achievements and talents Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations Take advantage of others to get what they want Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others Be envious of others and believe others envy them Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can: Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation The recommenced treatment method is psychotherapy / psychoanalysis. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

Focus on anything else, ideally something you enjoy. Also, twenty minutes or so of meditation is enough for thought activity to settle. The dreamboard makes this easy because everything you want to experience etc is in front of you vs in thinking. Anything you think of that you want to do, be, have, you can add it to the board. Meditating every morning in the proactive sense is ideal. It culminates, or, momentum builds in no attachment to thoughts. You might already be doing these, idk. You could also learn about reality via science, like quantum mechanics. Also, Leo’s Letting Go video is very detailed & comprehensive. I imagine if you listened to it each morning for a few days it would really land. Letting go has no ceiling / limit.

That is a belief built on assumption. You have zero experience of that. Let it go. No.

@Javfly33 Do you believe you need some thing to do no thing?

@Javfly33 What are you talking about when you say ‘awakening’?

If you let go of a Nahm which thinks, the victim concept, the randomness concept, the state of consciousness concept, and God as separate & decider concept....all that remains is the true nature.

@levani Yes. Of course, edible.

@SamueLSD For sure. What you write does unfold. Let the ‘how’ (voluntary thinking / figuring out) go.

@Javfly33 Yeah. He’s nuts.

Another example.

Add unconditional, notice the conditions you’re adding. Notice ‘you’ & ‘them’ is a condition. “But then again the selfish pespective is the one most people experience.” That is an assumption , an extrapolation & projection.

If you notice the runaway train at the station (‘human consciousness’), and instead write what you want on a dreamboard, seeing that it does indeed come, manifest, materialize...it is realized in hindsight that the rumination could’ve continued for ‘your’ entire life, self defeating the only point of existence. ‘Thought’ seems like other-than-you, like the story of a book sometimes does not seem to be quite simply, a book. Alternatively, you are oriented to creator-creation-creating, ‘home’ / remaining as grand central station (vs believing you’re actually ‘on’ one of the ‘thought trains’, and everything begins to make sense. ‘Sense’ points to feeling-creating, vs more illusory ‘thinker thinking’.

Thoughts are dualistic. Video could be ten seconds long.

? Like they say, if you don’t care for what the psychic tells you, just change the channel.

? There is much peace in noticing the ‘dialing in’ if you will, is only ever now. Not for a lifetime, days, or even second. Only now, and that is enough. This slows everything down, and it is much easier to feel grateful & appreciative of whatever is, and less conditional as to how it should be. Write the personal ‘how it should he’s’ on a dreamboard, and let the thought of it go. Consider taking your heavy labelling hand of “fear” off of feeling...and considering your perspective is just, not true. “fear I have about what reality is” There are logical reasons that doesn’t resonate. That perspective inherently assumes you are separate from reality. -You- “fear” what -it- is. Do you love your mom? Do you feel the love or think it? Do you feel the love only when hugging, only when looking at eachother, only when in the same room, the same house, the same city? Or is that love within you, always accessible, transcendent of space and time (locations of the peeps)? Now think about all the cows that get their throats slit every hour. Wtf right? Where’d the love go? Think about mom again and there it is. Derive from this that feeling is guiding you, in terms of perspectives. Some resonate, some do not. “fear I have about what reality is” You don’t fear a cup, because you have comfort in knowing what it is. A cup is made of a “substance” which equates to Not Knowing. You “fear” what reality is, but you can only “fear” something, that you don’t know, what it is. Fear is not a property of reality, it is your projection. It doesn’t resonate with you, because again, you are reality - you are not separate from reality. When you assume reality is something to fear, and every fiber of your body (reality) says “No!” - listen to it. Rediscover Letting Go. Don’t hold burning coals in your hand, put them down. Consider saying “fuck this, what if I just love myself, and everyone & anything else too”, “what if I just drop this fifty pound armor and just, don’t know”. Then it’s a mystery, an adventure, of love. I hear ya. Nothing against hope whatsoever. But, it does perpetuate that something is wrong now, which is the most fundamental misunderstanding / belief. If nothing is wrong now, what need is there for hope. But again, it’s a ‘where you’re at thing’ similar to faith. In any and every case, your absolute best attitude, outlook, and vision for your life feel the best. Everything you will ever want, is to feel your best. All of what we think we want or need to feel our best, is a witch-hunt for that love within. So go directly there by loving. Daily morning meditation is one of the greatest expressions of self love. You can not go wrong, as meditation teaches us to let go of attaching to the thought stories about something being wrong. I get ya. I’ll kick it up a notch (hopefully) by saying “face”... “negative emotions” is still misunderstanding what’s being said. This is believing the thought story “negative emotions”, which is hijacking feeling. There’s no such thing as negative emotions. There are perspectives which are such that your inner being simply can’t join you. Let those perspectives go. An analogy...If you knew that for every dollar you gave me, I would give you ten...what percentage of your money would you give? The dollar is a voluntary thought...the ten dollars are the insight the source gives you when you let the thought in discord, go. You simply feeling better and better. You’ll feel so good it’ll get out of hand. You’ll have to think of those cows once & a while to dial it down. This is like creating a shitburger, and then accepting it, but missing why it won’t go down so easy. It’s simply because it’s shit. I say this with respect and compassion, fully knowing you’re about done with the taste. That all stops when you realize you’re making the shitburgers and you don’t have to. Not doing that is the relief of ‘I. Don’t. Know’, paired with the deliciousness of a thought about what you do want to create in this life. This can help you understand it. If you wanna know the nuance of shit burgers, stick your nose right in em. But learn how you’re creating them, see that it derives from misunderstanding. The answer is I Don’t Know. If you knew everything there’d be no possibility of fun, humor, relationship & intimacy exploration, excitement, surprise, passion, etc, etc. Gots to appreciate the goodness that is. Appreciate “makes sense” means feels good. Sensation. Choose perspectives & say, what makes sense, and not coincidently, you feel great. Don’t apologize for getting help with stuff, triple down on it. Take advantage of every resource available. The perspective “I can’t be sure anything is real”, is met by your inner being which is real af...then the mind hijacks this by labeling the inner being...?...”negative emotions”. Think of mom again, then again, feel the love. Find it’s edges. Find the literal edges of this love. Find it’s beginning. Find it’s end. Find it’s form. Love = No Thing. Love is not “a thing”. Love appears as all these things, love. If that’s true, there are some perspectives to align with good feeling. I’d find out, in the effortless willingness, of letting thoughts which do not serve you, go. Love is like helium. You let go, it fills you up effortlessly. That’s not exactly what I meant. You’re believing (think of mom again) that feeling is “in a past”. It is enough to recognize you’ve never been without feeling, and you never will. When the mind wanders off into a past or future, and “you don’t like how it feels”...simply let it go. Feeling is here now, always, and can not go to “a past” or “a future”. You are never in “a past” or “a future”. If you want to feel better, go to feeling. Which really is to say, notice when you’re focusing on a thought story about yourself in a past or future. Laugh when you again realize you’re here, now, where feeling is. You, here now, where feeling is, is presence. That simply will not resonate with your being. There is no work for you to do because there is already nothing wrong. Not with you or reality. Let go of any arising thought to the contrary, if for nothing else, to not keep suffering. This is where hope backfires...that is a thought story about yourself in a future when you can ‘come to terms with this’. What you really means is ‘when I will feel better’. Let that thought go. Feeling is not in the future. Nothing is wrong with you. You have a dream within you for this life. Start writing it on a dreamboard. Your inner being will be like hell yes let’s create. ?? Express, express, express. Empty both barrels to that therapist. Don’t leave there with anything, no concerns, no worries. Intend to give it all there, and leave it all there. Anytime. Reading this entire thread which is loaded with great advice and an even greater love once or twice each day, with a night’s sleep in between, imo would be really eye opening, helpful, and healing. Godspeed and goodness vibes to ya. ?

The thinking that you ‘got spiraled’, vs appreciating the creative power that you are, by recognizing & aligning feeling, intentions, attitude, perspectives, choices, etc, led to ‘solving’ this with spirituality / psychedelics, rather than inspecting what was going on with you. They essentially do ‘solve’ it, but by revealing to you that what wasn’t feeling good to you was not the circumstances, but the thoughts & perspectives about circumstances. The discovery that how you feel is entirely reflective of outlook and the letting go of reactionary patterns is a natural experience. Unless you add an absorbent amount of psychedelics all in one trip. Then you see the whole show all at once and overwhelm yourself. Then it seems you doubled down on the prior outlook, rather than hearing the message. With a foundation of daily meditation, the thoughts (about circumstances) which don’t resonate, are let go, and the activity of the mind rests. The body empties of resistance. Clarity & understanding arises. Then, when you take a trip, you don’t resist, you breathe, relax, and more unconditionally enjoy the wildly amazing ride. Because there wasn’t a proper foundation, the mind ran amuck with resistance. This is indicative of the day to day ‘monkey mind’, aka ruminating or overthinking, which is perpetuated by misinterpreting the role of thought, and under appreciating the role of attitude, or, outlook. So a ton of resistance, and a ton of mental misinterpretation, resulted in a dramatically increased suppression of feeling, which exacerbated the ruminating (worry etc) of the mind. Another way to say that, is the mind sought outwardly for resolve, avoiding feeling, which is suffering. The stomach is effected by the beliefs around not digesting your outlook, because the perspectives don’t resonate with feeling, but are held nonetheless at the expense of suffering. The heart is effected because the perspectives that you felt discord with were expanded rather than let go. The misunderstanding & misinterpretation of thought & feeling was exaggerated & projected on the meta...rather than being let go or seeking understanding and or discovering resonating interpretations, regarding the fore mentioned habit of unconscious projection. That is, believing how you feel is because of circumstances, and carrying (trying to) your conditions into the unconditional. Those conditions resumed rather immediately. From going to fast on the trip, it’s a blur vs an opportunity of inspection. Indicative of the same misunderstanding. The belief is that you can remember feeling in the past. The misunderstanding persists though the actuality of feeling (in the present) of resistance is loud & clear. (But unfortunately not understood and thus heard and integrated). The hell is the fore mentioned misunderstandings which make it very difficult to find your way to resonating with truth. The key is scrutinizing how you’re looking at things, interpreting. When a perspective doesn’t resonate, choose a better feeling thought. Be less concerned with the truth, accuracy, ‘rightness’ of the thought, and care about how you feel. Get understanding. Talk to some. Experience healing modalities. Write about how you feel in the moment and realize more emotional intelligence / understanding.