Nahm

Already are.......................................................and there is the thought “black thing”. That’s “your condition”. X, Y, or Z “ain’t black thing”. But indeed “it” is this, and in deed this is realized. Maybe call it white thing for a while. And sing away.

@r0ckyreed Some inquiry questions came to mind. Use if useful. ? If there’s nothing more than this - what is it exactly which you believe could be grasped? If you’re imagining Vegas, refrigerators, external world, etc, if other people do and or do not have experiences, what is thought attachment? Would the ‘experience of all experiences’ still be, your present experience? Have you actually ever experienced ‘holding traumas in their imagination within your imagination’? You actually experience that? Have you any direct experience whatsoever of imagining reality? Can you describe that direct experience? How do you know what your dog is experiencing? Isn’t that your experience (of your dog)? How could ‘only your perspective be absolute truth’ ? How does that differ from solipsism? How does that differ from believing that to be true? What if another perspective arises, and another, and another...and they conflict with each other? Why is “absolute truth” a filter of inquiry of perspectives? What are “perceptual bubbles”? Ever directly experienced that? How does it differ from solipsism, and or a belief? What is “that” ? What, exactly, is ‘backlash’, and who, exactly, is having it? What is the “it” in this case, precisely, exactly? What is “egoic consciousness”, literally, what is that? Can you find it? Locate it? Describe it? What is the goal of conceptualizing, or ‘figuring out’? What is this in the literal sense, other than thoughts? What is “in” experience, which is not: thought, perception, and feeling? Is being you like the experience of people? Again, if it’s useful use it. The best bet of course, is no mind. No concepts. No figuring out. Just being. Insights, epiphanies, revelation, the apocalypse, etc, come from source. From silence. From ‘within’. Not from experience. When done conceptualizing (if ever), try using meditation and the emotional scale, and walking yourself back to yourself, so to speak. The ‘paradigm’ of feeling. Quieting the mind into the true nature, sinking the mind into the heart, if you will.

@WelcometoReality Maybe that too is a rig’d I dity, dunno.

@blackchair Avatar name just clicked. Awesome! Perfect. Well done sir. (Or ma’am)

@BipolarGrowth Were you also diagnosed with bipolar disorder/manic depression? Speaking only from direct experience, I was clinically diagnosed with manic depression by a sleeper, and was experiencing a rather literal first-name-forgetting fragmentation, an apparent splitting of myself, very real seeming as if there were two (or more really) of me. Tried multiple therapists & pills. It was worse, like a high happy guy, and an angry maniac bouncing like a pinball between triggerings. One day I smashed a guy’s face into a wall (not proud of this just sharing) , and when I saw all that blood & that his front teeth had remained stuck in the dry wall, I thought shit man, maybe I have a problem, maybe it’s me. In hindsight, we could say I had whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’d have only been more thinking. More labeling. More identifying as what I’m not. What I didn’t have, or at least conditioning led me to believe I didn’t have, was a source of the thoughts, which was not per se, the thoughts. Meditated every owning, often again in the afternoon, and sometimes again at night. Loophole shake everyday. Did not care anymore about food. It was just life fuel. Ate for the body, not taste / pleasure. By far the biggest game changer. Nature solo retreats, hours and hours of meditation. Began inspecting the validity of every single thought that arose. Dove into science, led quickly to QM’s. Recognized the profundity of many paradox. Meditated, contemplated. Got very interested in getting to the bottom of reality. Organic natural curiosity and intuition filled me. Had not occurred to me what “spirituality” was, I’d lumped it into “religion”... nor to utilize psychedelics, I’d lumped it into “drugs”. I was a very ignorant fool across the board really, and yet I’d portrayed to the the world I knew so much! HA! I’ve seen some people say that awakening has helped their bipolar symptoms or made them somehow realize it could be overcome. I’m quite skeptical of this for myself as spiritual growth tends to make things worse. Speaking strictly from direct experience, I realized with absolute clarity there was no thing such as “bipolar symptoms”. It was literally just what I was thinking, my perspectives, my misunderstandings, which felt so terrible. I discovered unquestionably, absolutely, that I didn’t need help in the first place. I had no notion, thought, or concept whatsoever of “awakening”. I had no repeating thought patterns that there was “awakening”, and therefore I had no notion an “it” such as “awakening” could, would, or should, help. I just let conditioning go. Never strived, simply let go of what didn’t feel good. I was born into a land of confusion, ignorance, denial, and blatant hurting. Right out in the open. Like, people were proud of it. “Leaders” the most proud, the most profound, the most grandiose display of ignorance. Literally bragging about arsenals, etc. Competing to be positioned to hurt more, competing in hurt, really. Getting it deep into us, and seeking remedies to the tune of trillions. Bullets, tanks, bombs, bigger bombs aren’t the problem - just need these pills! Crazy does. Didn’t know what conditioning was really, until I’d let it all go. Without the conditioning, with the thought inspection I’d done, there was no longer a “myself” thought centered pattern or repetition. Just eternal silence, infinite space, awareness. Had been God all along. How funny. Made an inordinate amount of sense as to why thoughts about myself were the actual issue. Some thoughts felt bad because I was God “thinking” the thoughts. Thoughts which sucked...to God. Seems silly and obvious now. Been talking with people about this since then. Maybe thirteen or so years now. Will continue to as long I live, if you will. The last time I took charge of my life in the manner you’re describing (changing diet, habits, exercising daily, meditating more), it triggered a manic episode requiring hospitalization. I wonder if the people claiming their bipolar disorder was helped by pursuing awakening simply did not have as severe of a case as I do. How so? When you say required hospitalization, in the literal, physics sense, what removed you from the cushion? I would inspect that thought, much relief and a clarity to be realized imo, just based on direct experience.

Sing unabashedly, and learn to do so properly. In full attention to the stomach breath, the resonator (diaphragm), the registers of vibration (chest, throat, head) there is no singer, no yoga practitioner, just a vibration you are being, just a beaming of chakras. Throw a guitar or maybe piano in there and you’ll wonder what ever happened to ‘you’. What was I “unifying” again? And every song ever sung sings through you, for the very first time. An indistinguishable vibration of presence, expression of love.

Simply return the breath to consciously breathing from the stomach. Nothing’s gonna happen.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries. Her placenta falls to the floor. The angel opens her eyes, the confusion sets in, before the doctor can even close the door. Lightning crashes, an old mother dies. Her intentions fall to the floor. The angel closes her eyes. The confusion that was hers, belongs now, to the baby down the hall. And now feel it comin' back again, like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind. Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again. I can feel it. Lightning crashes, a new mother cries. This moment she's been waiting for. The angel opens her eyes. Pale blue colored iris presents the circle, and puts the glory out to hide, hide. And now feel it comin' back again! Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind! Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again! And I can feel it. I can feel it.

@allislove ?? Not even sure if there is anything to be free of!

@VeganAwake Indeed. Meaning, importance, no meaning no importance, this & that, no this & no that, serious game of life, ‘underneath’, internal, all complete nonsense. All just “thinking”. Apparently. Holon.

I love you @Vision

What about changing attitude, habits, diet, behaviors, by letting go of beliefs, misunderstandings, misidentification and misinterpretations? I was there too, but I found this to be much more satisfying. The ‘juice’ of life you might say. Weird now that I think back on it. Literally didn’t occur to me to try psychedelics for the suffering. So I changed a lot. My diet, relationships, attitude, perspectives, work ethic, money psychology, etc, and it worked. It worked like some kind of miracle. Just went straight into that suffering William Wallace meditation like. Direct experience & the sharing of it wise, was surprised to find the ‘manic depression’ too was just more conditioning. One more label for me from a sleeper. Psychedelics were a hell of an icing on that cake! Good times.

Bless my heart, Bless my soul, I didn't think I make it, To 22 years old. There must be someone up above! Singing, “come on with me!” You gotta come on up! You gotta hold on. Yeah you gotta hold on. So bless my heart, And bless yours too. I don't know were I'm gonna go, Don't know what I'm gonna do. Well must be somebody up above! Saying. “come on with me!” You got to come on up! You gotta hold on. Yeah you gotta hold on. Yeah you gotta wait. Yeah you gotta wait. But I don't wanna wait! I don't wanna wait! So bless my heart. Bless my mind. I got so much I wanna do, and I ain't got much time. So must be somebody up above, Saying, “come on baby girl! You got to get back up!” You gotta hold on! Yeah you gotta hold on! Yeah you got to wait! Yeah you gotta wait! But I don't wanna wait!! No I don't wanna wait!! You've got to hold on When the world ain't treating you good. You gotta hold on When everybody lookin' at you funny. You gotta hold on. You gotta hold on.

Just Breathe. Yes, I understand that every life must end. As we sit alone, I know someday we must go. I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones I love. Some folks just have one, others, they've got none. Stay with me. Let's just breathe. Practiced are my sins, never gonna let me win. Under everything, just another human being. I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed. Stay with me. You're all I see. Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see. No one knows this more than me. As I come clean, I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face. Everything you gave, and nothing you would take. Nothing you would take. Everything you gave. Did I say that I need you? Oh, did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see. No one knows this more than me. As I come clean. Nothing you would take. Everything you gave. Hold me 'til I die. Meet you on the other side...

When I walk beside her I am the better man When I look to leave her I always stagger back again ? Once I built an ivory tower So I could worship from above When I climb down to be set free She took me in again ? There’s a big A big hard sun Beating on the big people In a big hard world ? When she comes to greet me She is mercy at my feet And I, I see her inner charm She just throws it back at me ? Once I dug an early grave To find a better land She just smiled and laughed at me And took her rules back again ? There’s a big A big hard sun Beating on the big people In a big hard world ? Oh, there’s a big A big hard sun Beating on the big people In a big hard world ? When I go to cross that river She is comfort by my side When I try to understand She just opens up her hands ? There’s a big A big hard sun Beating on the big people In a big hard world ? Once I stood to lose her When I saw what I had done Bowed down and threw away the hours Of her garden and her sun ? So I tried to warn her I turned to see her weep Forty days and forty nights And it's still coming down on me ? There’s a big A big hard sun Beating on the big people In a big hard world In between the lines. ? In between the thoughts.

@blackchair Figuratively, it makes some sense I suppose. Literally, it makes perfect sense.

@VeganAwake Right, right. Holon.

@The Buddha How does one enlighten others? How do you know for sure reality is not already pure wakefulness? “Games, changes, and fears. When will they go from here? When will they stop? I believe that faith brought us here, and we should be together. But we’re not. I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you. I keep my cool...but I’m feeling.” Macy Gray What if you’re the only, the last holdout? How would you even know? If you woke up in love this morning, how would you know?

Yes, so connected in fact there’s no such thing as separation. Nothing’s necessary.

@r0ckyreed Great specific examples. There have been times I’ve wondered this as well. Anyone have any specific insights (as compared to ‘the final analysis’) in this regard? Like how was COVID actually created? How is that people do get poisoned? Could be productive or helpful in regard to progressive mutations, or an altogether ‘next covid’.

Important holon of the “puzzle”.

@Breakingthewall Right on. Hope it doesn’t sound as if I’m against psyche’s. It can take a while to let beliefs and conditioning go, no doubt. It’s a process and psyche’s are an out of this world tool. The want to know is easier going than the belief in the need to know. Discovery is more fun in this light.

How long does spiritual purification take? How long does thought attachment take? Examples...ego, ego backlash, I’m fucked up, my neurosis, I could become authentic (am not authentically me already), I could say that I am myself (already are thus it can’t be said), surfaces, identity, ego is robbing Happiness, you guys and your ego (not two), I could feel ok with a myself, problem, lack, self worth (you are not measurable), low self esteem (a thought & interpretation of yourself which doesn’t resonate but is believed anyways, thus missing you are yourself - not what the thought is about), that there is an I which could feel awesomeness (you = awesomeness). Why? Nothing’s wrong with you already. ? Inspect thoughts which feel like poop, rather than believing them about yourself thus misinterpreting feeling. Bring an end to the suffering. Motivation is thinking, it’s the avoidance of unwanted. Consider feeling - inspiration - the natural experience of focusing upon wanted and expanding this Love, that you are. The desire for hope is really un-checked thoughts of pessimism about your future. Thoughts which don’t resonate with the Being sought. Thoughts which can be let go, by no longer focusing upon them. Sounds boring, but actually liberates God.... Which Is this place, this reality, now. Without focus on a thought about myself, a past or a future, presence remains. Presence = contentment. The willingness to let go of what doesn’t resonate = being content with whatever is, right now, and only right now. Being non-condition focused, not-judging-anything focused, is contentment, which feels much better than pessimism. In the good feeling of contentment...perspective automatically changes. The source of perspectives is pure Goodness. Let a poop perspective go, God feeds you Goodness. You can not get it, or earn it. It’s unconditional and ever available, always. Which can rightfully be said to feel hopeful, which feels way better than contentment. In feeling hopeful, Good perspectives arise about your future, and you begin to believe them. You begin to feel optimistic. You begin to actually expect the future will unfold in a manor in accordance, in alignment, with how you feel. When you feel amazing, you’re un-mother-fucking-stoppable. And that is invigorating. That is knock-the-doors-off-this-place-nothing-can-stop-me awesomeness of you. That is passion. Before you now it, you start loving this whole “creating” “attracting” dealy. And that is joy. That is ‘why you came’. That is freedom. You are the creator of your reality. The tool for a creator is The Emotional Scale. After using it maybe, 10 to 20 times, the body mind does it on autopilot. “It” likes, and wants, the love & bliss too.

If it’s helpful, it’s helpful, if it’s “triggering” shoot me and or ignore. I suggest you can understand. That you must, or you’ll keep veiling yourself of yourself without recognizing how this is occurring. (I say this in the intention & sentiment of liberation, not judgment.) Because thought is un inspected, a thought arises that you need 5meo. By all means, of course, experience psychedelics. But also do yourself the solid of inspecting. As you do consider the wanting of the experience of psychedelics. No implication here, no ‘swaying’ either way. It’s yo bizness, respectfully. Each of us veils ourself now, or not at all. What is unveiled, is clarity. The veil, is thoughts. Only thoughts, thought attachment. Thought which is double negative is doubly confusing, for that which is pure goodness (you). This can be self spotted, and the spotting of it is the liberation of it. Then the “it” (subject object thought) can be spotted. When a memory is just a thought, experienced now, and is not believed (thought attachment) there is no longer the belief that there is an “it”. “It” is then clearly, a thought. Not a thought about you. A thought you (awareness, presence, now) are aware of. Then self referential thinking can be spotted. Then it seems silly to believe you could remember yourself...and you are awareness ever-present now. You are yourself. And thus can not think (or remember) yourself.

@Mosess “I do not know what power shapes my way, but my feet are set upon a road that I must follow.” - Moses ? ?