Nahm

@Bazooka Jesus Hey! Nobody cares bout the truth. Knock that off! @Jodo ‘Go to’ the self you speak of. Actually find it.

Awakened = there’s no ‘you’ nor ‘your ego’. “Clinging as much to your ego” = thought attachment = pretending there’s a separate self. You’re actually supporting your suffering with complicated theories and models which have nothing to do with thought attachment.

People are an appearance of consciousness. Consciousness is not something people possess or have. That is the materialist paradigm, thought attachment, the illusion of the separate self, misidentification...subject which has the object “consciousness”...separate of infinite consciousness. Inspect direct experience, you’ll find no separations at all.

All sounds fine.

That is this. It’s already the actuality, the Good News. As above so below. Might have a belief or two, some misinterpretation, misunderstanding, and or misidentification at play.

What are you talking about when you say Consciousness/God and ego/form? What’s the difference in your direct experience? What do you mean by the absolute sense as Consciousness/God? Why are you capitalizing certain letters arbitrarily?

This... What is hearing...literally, what is sound, and the experience of hearing? What does it even mean, “I’ve heard”? How do you know there’s a they, and that this they understands? You’ve no direct experience of this. What’s everything? How could everything turn back into itself, if everything is already everything? Who’s getting an image? What’s an image? What’s meant by “getting”? What’s an “it”? You probably use that word all day without considering what “it” is. How does an “it” come full circle? What or who says you ‘must’ do anything? What’s one? What does ‘getting to’ mean...says who? What’s a stage? Without inspecting these assumptions, maybe you are actually hearing nothing. What is “I”? What is understanding? What in the world makes you believe there is a “Truth”?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holon_(philosophy) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Koestler It’s where we all live. Apparently.

We all feel a little Chippy sometimes, but only one of them is aware of the thoughts.

@Marvelllious You could grow a plant. Maybe some vegetables. Even a beard probably. If you can actually find your consciousness, then by all means, grow it. Otherwise, listen to your intuition, not fools. By “fools”, I mean anyone which pretends to supersede, your own intuition. Don’t be a fool, either.

@kray Most likely you just need to relax, ‘get out of your own head’. Let thinking go, and do it only for the experience of it. Doing something else prior to the sex, something you and her enjoy that is simple and fun stands to help a lot. Simple stuff...a walk, a board game, a video game, a movie, whatever...just orientation to for fun and for the experience, nothing more. If the thought - ‘simply because you want to enjoy the experience of it’ doesn’t resonate, then consider it might be that you are not oriented sexually to woman. If that thought doesn’t resonate, then it’s definitely letting thinking go and enjoy the right now experience.

Nope. Age plays no role at all.

@Carl-Richard I’m just the best at deluding myself. You’ll never top me.

Some teachers refer to this as state chasing, some teachers insist you must, but ultimately, wether no mind is a state, is up to you. Chase away. Run rabbit, run. I don’t mind at all. One is never actually listening to anyone else, only one’s own intuition actually. The head game is always a foot.

Religion is just you callin you home, same as every thing else. ?

@Valwyndir ?? Appreciating you.

I don’t think I’ve ever shared anything via a thread in this section. It’s always struck me as heavy on the ‘pick up’ perspective or mentality, with often subtle intentions of ‘gaming’ people. This has always seemed to me to be a disingenuous masculine sentiment aimed at woman, and the ‘winning’ / ‘scoring’ aspect of this just never ‘clicked’ or resonated. I recently saw this video and it resonated very much, so I thought I’d share it. Great work Conner, very beautiful to see ime.

Maybe a week to a month would be my guess, but it’s more about the emptying & expressing than a time frame of course. Express enough, and ya might not even see the practice of self inquiry the same way.

@allislove Omg nailed it.

@allislove Exactly. Hence the facade of embodiment, integration, etc. They’re like ads for a movie which one is already watching yet doesn’t acknowledge or realize the actual nature of.

Hopefully this is not taken offensively, but this post reflects the very fragmentation you mentioned. You are not experiencing being two; awareness and an ego, but you are speaking as if on behalf of two. It can be helpful to physically point to the ‘her’ you speak of, to realize you are one. The facade at play is progress, as in a you, becoming. The “ego” is pigeon holed as an enemy, adversary, or the resistance you’re experiencing. In visually seeing you are not two, this ‘cover story’ is kind of blown, which leads to understanding the emotions that you are experiencing. Intrinsic emotional understanding is contentment, being here now where you are. There is also thought attachment at play with that twoness, which veils emotional understanding with unnecessary confusion. It might feel like the thoughts of you in a future feel ‘off’ because the concerns are valid, while the thoughts feel off because you are not in a thought story, you are never in a future. This here now is the experience, and the experience is the only ‘point’. To ‘trade’ how you feel now, for how you will feel in a future will never feel like alignment. Give this a read, you’ll see, directly experience, what is being said about contentment being very key. Envisioning what you’re creating from a position of deficit, as in not being content here now, but from the clean slate of contentment, presence, letting conditions upon happiness now go, great feeling thoughts naturally arise. Satisfaction can never be found in a future, because you never experience a future.

@wavydude Relating is overrated. Truth is just too damn Good. “Others” are The Truth as well.

It is a most grave error to use trust as a tool of relationship manipulation. This is conditioning, as in, this feels highly discordant and is not of your true nature, it is a learned perspective & behavior. The liberation from it is the inspecting it and realizing it’s falsity. Don’t continue avoiding inspection, expression, and understanding the emotions you’re experiencing. You’re experiencing reality through your own lens of beliefs and attitudes, yet believing this is not the case. Listen to the suffering, and allow it to reveal your into purpose & beauty. Exercise is ideal, and so is a clean diet, especially in regard to sugar and caffeine. These tend to feed rumination, which is really what perpetuates the suffering. Listen to feeling, don’t settle for suffering, let go. Learn, practice, use, and understand the emotional scale. Talk with someone who understands. Don’t apply the lens of trusting them or not, listen to them, and keep only what resonates with you in feeling. If you’d like to chat sometime, let me know. If you currently can’t afford it, that’s no problem. Remind me who you are and that I offered this, in your email. You’ve been carrying this weight for far to long and I’d like to help. I’ve been there as well, and learned a lot about it. One conversation will change your entire outlook and life, more than you can currently imagine. It might be an act of faith, or simply just trying something new, on your part. I hope you do. ??

Proposing how to stop caring about others is like asking how to stop accelerating while your foot is on the pedal. Others and caring is conditioning, belief. Rather than aiming to stop ‘doing it’, inspect your direct experience of thought, perception, and sensation. Experience is one, whole, not two. Likewise, to see ‘others’ as deluded and or wrong, is to miss your own delusion / lack of inspection of what your own actual direct experience is. What you’re experiencing is not any short comings of anyone else, but your own deeply seeded judgment of yourself, which you are projecting, as if it had something to do with what, upon ample inspection, is revealed to be an abstraction. You’re reinforcing this by believing your own beliefs & projections are something you could accept, rather than inspect and see through. In that way, you’re repeating a thought loop. Depart from the tree of the knowledge of good & bad, of potential & suffering, and of thinking of yourself as within this paradigm. It is all discordant. Instead, go to the tree of life, of your life. Make a Dreamboard, and allow what today is a concern, to contribute to creating the life you are most passionate about. Give much more attention to letting black & white thinking go, and appreciating paradox. Take five things you absolutely know to be true, and write them down. Then write the exact opposite next to each. Then contemplate as to how both are equally true. This practice will carry over so to speak, bringing much equanimity to emotion and understanding. Also, if you haven’t taken Leo’s LP course, I would watch this video and strongly consider taking it.

Is this a concern of yours also, or only of hers? Do you have a history of this? I favor exploring freely, unfettered, and unconditionally. Imo, even to hold the perspective / belief that the future, with more responsibilities, equates to being harder & not having enough time, is already a needless, senseless limitation upon you & your path. In the same sense the thought of ‘other’ is already an act of violence, such a view of self limitation is already the creating of discordance. If you do decide to take a trip, don’t trip with her, at least initially. You’d be putting yourself in a potential tug of war position between clinging to identity, and letting go and feeling the true nature. Go be alone, not in the same house. It can be difficult to let go, and newbies often cling, calling family or 911. If your wife is there, there’s a good chance you’ll cling, ruin your trip experience, and then potentially regret it, or discolor future potential trips with discouragement. Start with very small amounts like .5 or 1g, make tea rather than eating the mushrooms, and let go. Meditation is for meditation’s sake. Why are you so focused on having a bad experience? Again, wondering, is this based on your experience, or maybe your genetics, or only her concern? Attaining is the perspective of the ‘separate self’. Holding meditation in mind as a means to an end, attaining a result or change, is already self defeating thinking, and missing the entire ‘point’ or ‘boat’ so to speak. The desire to attain is the ignoring of the conditions current held, upon the ever present and abundant true nature. Yes, start small. Has she experience with meditation, psychedelics? Wondering why you hold her advice in such high regard. I think you are projecting your own fears and discordant thoughts onto her. It’s better to see this now and sort through the nuance, than to let these misunderstandings grow, and only to be addressed on the trip. That does not make for a great trip. Married for over twenty years, and with three kids, I could say I’ve ‘been in that position’. Yet, I have never experienced or been in the position as you describe, that of considering my path is up to someone else. I’ve found the opposite approach to be tried and true. And though you might not understand this quite yet, so has my wife. Meditation, not the ‘for attainment’ wasting of your time you speak of, but letting go and being, along with solo retreats / trips, have been the single most beneficial thing I’ve done for my family. If you have specific questions in that regard and I can be helpful, let me know. Pm anytime if you like. You’re not doing yourself any service in this way of thinking... “maximizing enlightenment”, similar to the “attainment” thinking in regard to meditation. Take pause and notice you’re using words which have no meaning. You literally don’t know what you’re talking about, and this is acting as a veil of many things which you could be attentive to, which would make for wonderful trip experiences. Using the emotional scale & understanding emotions, the ‘move’ from overwhelmed through to love, appreciation, empowerment & freedom becomes intrinsic & effortless, and is by far the single best ‘preparation’ for a trip. Waiting to see if you are overwhelmed, rather than understanding & working this out prior to the trip, makes for a rougher trip, and much more relevantly, a rough life, marriage, and fatherhood.