Nahm

Since there’s no actual comparison between individuals, it might not be guilt of a past that feels off, but the limiting perspective of what’s possible now.

‘No mind’.

@BlackMaze It’s not a fear per se, solipsism feels off because it is a bit off. Perspective is a thought. Only is identification, as the only person, only “real” person, or only finite mind. Point of view is all encompassing, ineffable, being appearing as.

Same One, appearing as the “two”. As the sphere of the world, there are roles, identities, etc. As the sphere of the lens, there are thoughts and thought attachment. As being, appearing as the spheres, there is love, peace, beauty, the true nature. One is none of these, one is all of these, and all the sam’s/sara’s in between. Yes, not more identity, and not per se less either, but the wholeness of the blend of being experiencing. If you haven’t, check out the movie The Hurricane. It’s basically the cinematic portrayal of this topic and theme.

(Imo) More so... awareness of the reactions which arise only from the identification with the roles. It’s not about the psychology. It’s about unfettering love in every possible way... un-conditioning ‘identity’.

@Vittorio This might provide some insight or clarity. It might initially sound like a crazy philosophy, but check / verify in direct experience.

@levani Make a dreamboard. Think of what you want to create & experience, instead of about yourself. Inspect... if you’re aware of the thoughts, who are the thoughts about?

What a great, great thread. One of the greatest delights on the path imhfo. How... letting go of masculine identity. Spot the roles & reactions, ‘the producer’, ‘the provider’, ‘the protector’, ‘the stronger one’, ‘the one sacrificing / carrying the weight’, etc. Just like you mentioned with sexual orientation & attraction, it doesn’t mean necessarily having different desires, preferences or inclinations, but they are seen through, and femininity arises in direct experience in addition. The sexual aspect is quite astounding and noteworthy though. It’s like being in tune with instruments and scales that weren’t on the radar before. Some unseen transparent walls are just no longer there, sensuality & depth of intimacy goes off the charts (ime). And not just sexually, emotionally. It’s like Irish intuition, insight, ‘seeing’ & relatability... it be Dublin. There is also a sort of unexpected revelation ime, that of experiencing everyone as your kids. Not in any lesser than manor, and the previous perspectives are still available, but also a new and profoundly moving much more fulfilling, satisfying and whole experience. In making the two (masculine & feminine) one, every one (which is typically experiencing as masculine or feminine) seems so innocent. Again, not lessor than, but profoundly child like. As if experiencing as a mom and dad simultaneously. Hard to put words to that one. In case anyone is concerned about venturing into this, the ass kicker is still there, just not being experienced so much, but at the ready so to speak. Again, in addition. It’s expansive, not reductive. Some practical ventures in this regard might be some long talks, yoga and or reiki classes (almost always all female ime). Having tea parties with a daughter, niece, or what have you, if available. Stuff like that. And to be fair... it’s also another full circle or revelation as far as the feminine sorrow, suppression, inequality, collective suffering, etc.

@roopepa That is so kind & much appreciated, thank you! I’m feelin it too man. This love so crazy. ?

To experience through and as human beings.

...another wave in the ocean! Thanks! Feelin the love. ??

@allislove ???

@levani Stop fragmenting yourself, with the thinking of yourself, as low conscious & high conscious. Accept that you can not think, yourself, because you are yourself. Shift focus to what you want to experience, and it will be so. When you shift to focusing on what you want, the beliefs you’v been holding which are behind that, will dispel. Motive is avoiding missing out on something, inspiration is the natural feeling of focusing on what you want. If and when emotions of unworthiness arise, use the emotional scale. Notice it is the habit of focusing / thinking about yourself, and shift again to what your want. Notice in an overall way, you’ve been sort of going through a checklist, focusing on abstraction, other people, etc, and are now coming back around to address what you want. There isn’t an alone or not alone, sorry if that ‘bursts’ a bubble. You’re feeling the alignment or discord of the thoughts you’re focusing on. The context, or interpretation is far more relevant than the content of perception. Another way to say that, you’re focusing on wether loneliness is healthy or not...which doesn’t feel good to focus on...instead, focus directly on what you do want. Same beliefs, same focus, same experience, same results. Give this a once over for anything you might be attempting to skip, which is prior to the interactions and relationships you are desiring to experience. Think fundamentally, foundationally... like the story of the three little pigs, if you will.

@bastih What @allislove said is right on, and I’ll pm you if that’s ok, with a specific suggestion (which could be ‘personal’).

To do lists are for pads of paper. Dreamboard is manifestation. Have a look at the emotional scale... The unfulfilled / mild depression is emotion created by thoughts about oneself (inward orientation), in the bottom grey & black bars. To relieve yourself of those emotions, express jealousy (outward orientation). Write anything that naturally comes to mind that you see anyone creating, having, doing, being, etc, on your board. As the infinite creator, you’ll never run out of what you desire to create & experience. In the same way a health issue gets ‘louder’ until it’s listened to, the dream for your life gets bigger and also ‘louder’. When you are depressed or bored, there is dream within you to be put on the board. When you feel contentious or ‘against the grain’, there is belief to release, see through, and let go of. I would consider a daily morning meditation of feeling your ‘inner being’, and shifting from the conceptual existential to the actuality that you are creating your reality. You’ll start realizing intuition, and the simplest and most ordinary & mundane of creation and life starts getting incredibly fun. You inevitably won’t be able to even remember what depression, boredom, restlessness or being unfulfilled felt like, from practicing the rest of the way up the scale from jealousy. You’ll have more you want to create, and more insights to accompany it, than you’ll have time for in this lifetime. Don’t skip any bars when you use the scale. It’s not about cognitively understanding it, it’s about expressing each emotion. Understanding is the byproduct. It is entirely possibly to focus only on what you do want, and to receive it / manifest it ‘in the flesh’. This is inspiration (conscious creating / well being / flow state / stream entry, rather than motivation (avoidance of what you don’t want). Experiencing, realizing preferences, and creating & experiencing what you prefer is the whole design, the point, what makes life worthwhile. Anytime. Much love for you. Always appreciating your input. ??

Sounds like you had a break from beliefs & judgments which are asymmetrical in terms of feeling, or simply, being. Without thought attachment / a ‘separate self’ control narrative, reality is inevitably realized to be perfection and made of perfect symmetry. I’d do a few minutes of awareness of thoughts meditation each morning, and maybe again in the afternoon to keep ‘emptying your cup’. I’d also slowly make changes to clean diet & exercise every morning. Then I’d consider doing emotional awareness meditation. As emotion comes up & out, considering using the emotional scale to express and clear out ‘blockages’ and bring understanding to emotion. I’d also have emotional equanimity at the ready for any past relationship resentments or grudges that arise, to free yourself of it. I’d make the overarching theme that of a dreamboard and focusing on & experiencing what you want, and feeling & experiencing the true nature & power of our source within becoming it ‘without’.

How’s it start?

“This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief”. Rumi

@mw711 Make a dreamboard. Write what you want. It starts happening.

@Soullee One of the tools on my website is a dream journal, and it’s simpatico with what you’re describing. Give it a try, I think you’ll find many insights.

Having a family.

@mw711 Missing the meaningless magic of creating something from nothing.

More contemplative than meditative. Posing what it is you want to know, relaxing the body & clearing the mind, and receiving insights which are experientially distinct from thoughts. What I’m pointing to with the suggestions is what the text in the book is about. Do you think there is much to be said for any of the current forms of Christian monasticism in regards to awakening ? Getting back to your op question, imo the path is really the inquiry ‘what is this and what am I’, until one is ridiculously satisfied beyond any question or doubt. An all encompassing adventure for one, rather than a mono as in singular path like a science, religion, practice, experience, ism, etc, etc. I’d categorize that approach with the Bible as theory & contemplation, and not inspecting direct experience. Yet one can also contemplate and receive insights with inquiries on direct experience.

It’s not in the knowledge, way of thinking, or the organization of the text in the mind. To point to a change, it would be in the approach. There is no thinker of thoughts, they just arise / appear. Thoughts have a source which is always in communication with the body mind as source is being ‘it’ by appearing as ‘it’. So it’s kind of a reading contemplatively, posing what it is you want to know, a single sentence at a time, relaxing the body and clearing the mind, and essentially waiting for the responding insight to arise. As far as sentiment, I’d call it trusting the body as an antenna, like a vessel to receive communication from source. This might sound like an abstract answer, but I hope it’s helpful. A re-source won’t do, when you have source, so to speak. Also, and this has a tendency to sound ‘personal’, but like it says in the Bible, the body is the temple. There is an unseen flow of well being, and considering the body as the antenna, there are foods, substances and thoughts which align with well being, and foods, substances and thoughts which don’t. Alignment is clearing the way of this communication via contemplative reading.

Sometimes more extreme examples are effective in drawing out the point, or the distinction & difference being communicated a bit more. That can also (if you deem it so) be helpful in beginning to recognize nothing anyone says actually makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not feeling the resonance of sound with feeling, but of your thoughts with feeling. Also, it’s a hypothetical example, and not something intended to be about you personally. It’s intended to help you via the consideration of a perspective other than your current perspective, which doesn’t feel good to you. As you mentioned, in recognizing those are beliefs... focus instead on what you do want. A belief is a thought you repeatedly focus on. Choose better feeling thoughts about yourself, feel the truth & alignment of this. More thought about there being a problem or something wrong with you recreates the discord with feeling, and doesn’t ‘solve the thought’...it’s really just more focusing on what you don’t want, what doesn’t feel good, to you. Make a dreamboard. Express & understand arising emotions, rather than framing up a separate self which has something it has to ‘overcome’. Let go of what you yourself do not want. Consider researching a lot on what you do want. Yes, and (imo) the best ‘help’ is not telling the story that you don’t even like to focus on. Time is precious, life is short, focus is power. You’re experiencing whatever story you’re telling. You are free to start telling the story of everything you do want, and you will experience it. You are so absolutely free that you can tell the story of ‘stuck’ or ‘need’ or ‘must overcome’, and you will be experiencing that. You can express how you feel now - without telling a story of a past. What you’re directly experiencing now is actual, a past is not. Identifying by recreating the same story makes it seem so...makes it seem as if that is who you are, now. Experience the change in feeling & momentum, by choosing to tell the story of wanted. Allow emotions to arise and be expressed. Continue on the focusing of that which is feeling good. I don’t presume the thoughts of “destroying this identity” or “self improvement” feel good. You don’t have to ‘go back and destroy anything’...and there’s nothing wrong at all with you such that you ‘need improvement’. Trust the guidance of feeling in regard to those thoughts. You can begin focusing on what you want, now, and you will love how it feels, because you are a creator. It’s a pointing of an orientation of aligning with what is true, actual, and feels amazing...yet, that is always up to you, because you are absolutely free. You are writing about it. You are aware of it. You’re experiencing the momentum of your creating. It is not a matter of fault, but of focus. There’s just no ‘getting around’ now. When those thoughts arise, you feel them, and they do not feel good, which is why you are writing about it, which is great. You can continue focusing on what didn’t feel good to you in the first place, and still doesn’t. You can also listen to feeling, and focus on what does feel good to you, what you do want to experience. You can frame it up that you need something, but I am suggesting it’s a matter of letting go of beliefs about yourself which don’t feel good - to you - and focusing on what does feel good - to you. You might be missing that I am making a case for you feeling amazing, better & better, shifting the momentum, experiencing all that you desire to experience. I could not be more ‘on your side’. ? You’re already free, but are believing you need something more to be able to focus on what you want. Dreamboard makes this incredibly easy. Expressing emotions instead of avoiding them makes life amazing and worthwhile. It literally makes sense of experience. I don’t need to say anything to anyone with social anxiety, as I have directly experienced those thoughts about ‘myself’. You’re thinking & communicating in double negatives. If & when you make a dreamboard, accommodate the habit & change the focus to what you do want, by making a list of everything you know you don’t want to continue experiencing, and then write the opposites (what you do want) on your board, and focus on that, and your experience will become that (it already is), and again, since you’ll be focusing on what feels good to you, that which you desire to experience, you’ll feel, good. Don’t suppress, destroy, or run. That is the suffering. Express. Feel. Release.