Nahm

@iboughtleosbooklist Birth’s are seen, and that you were born is assumed, but that assumption is an interpretation of perception, which is uninterpretable, but ‘love’ points nicely. You can try hard, but you can also just allow. Likewise, ‘sense of isolation’ is an interpretation of feeling, which is also uninterpretable, as any condition can not be ‘it’. Contemplations.

That there is a we & somewhere / anything explored is somewhat a priori there, no?

Clarity indeed. Beautiful! ??

@Applegarden8 Thanks.☺️ ... Not kidding on that ‘take this twice’. That song is a most powerful vibration. It is infused ineffably. For max juice, volume of speaker & lungs at 11. If I was in your shoes I’d take a couple of this too, just to be safe. The content doesn’t matter. "The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." Shakespeare

A subtle assumptive belief lies beneath ‘I wish to feel self complete without needing to be in a relationship’, which is ‘I am not complete already’. Seeking, awakening, being, I get it. Inspecting what is actual isn’t the same sentiment or orientation as wishing for it. A mantra of ‘I don’t know anything’, ‘I have literally no idea what could happen five seconds from now’, is more aligned than wishing for love. Allow, give love the space to arise. The space where thoughts & beliefs once seemed to be. Honor your own preferences in the self respect sense. Feel into how it feels when you do. Experience of ‘really liked’... no suffering, feels great to really like. Experience of ‘they preferred someone / something else’...no suffering, feels great to know more acutely what you prefer. I was rejected... suffering via identifying by experience, while in truth you are being experience, so this will feel naturally discordant with what is actual & true, which again, can be inspected & realized. This would surely mean taking focus off of any thoughts which feels discordant, or put another way, listening to the sensational guidance which intrinsically is leading ‘you’ to the truth that ‘it’, is. Don’t ignore feeling to believe thoughts about yourself. They aren’t true, they’re thoughts. Like a lamp, or a tree... ‘who’s truth is never in question... they are just a lamp and a tree. For clarity, actually attempt to point to the neediness, which articulated as if separate, and attributed with ‘making you feel weak’, and thus ‘creates your problems & suffering’. To begin to consider you are focusing on a an untrue thought, and thus creating the emotional experience of neediness, or, discord with truth, by identifying as the one who has that past, and also by identifying as the one who was rejected, is to begin to open the third (not two, nondual) ‘eye’. One aware suffering is an experience one creates or not is one aware one is creating, and is one ‘for whom’ naturally focus is give to that which one prefers, to create. If you hold the belief you were rejected, you will continue to experience that. If you let it go, you won’t. You’ll experience instead, what you are focused upon. Try to point to the past. Freedom. Detachment from thoughts, aka meditation, yes. ‘Wanting the love to come’, no. Let that sublet believing / thought story go, so love can self-realize in, as and of the ‘emptied cup’. If you hold love in mind to be separate, such that it could come to you, you will continue to experience precisely that. Love does not know a you, and thus could never find you. Love does not know a ‘there’ by which ‘it’ could find ‘you’. Love is eternally patient, and infinitely un-out-smart-able. As you repeat these mantras you create & recreate now, and only ever now - such as ‘right now I am far from it’, so shall it be, as love is truly unconditional. You say it he’s so, and it is. Expedite via expression of love, create a million ways love may pour through an empty ‘shell’, and love will pour through. Experience can be no other way, as experience is made of no thing.

@EmptyVase The first immutable law is the law of divine oneness / everything is connected. Comparative thoughts give a false impression there is separation. One unaware of the immutable laws, believing comparative thoughts, would believe in luck, in comparison to understanding (for example) the law of attraction and or the law of action. A ‘coincidence’ would essentially be something which happened which seems separate or unconnected to / as everything else, which would not seem so upon the understanding of the immutable laws. One must “mute the laws” to believe in luck or coincidence (vs understand the actuality).

Sounds very difficult and I feel for ya and wish you the best. These questions & suggestions are from different perspectives and might be helpful, and might not be. Don’t take any of it too heavy, more as inquiry & an attempt to help. They’re worded sternly with respect to the heaviness you’ve conveyed, or, the urgency of the desire for this suffering to resolve being very strong. Can you physically point to this loop? If not, have you considered it’s thoughts… belief(s) - and not some thing you… are… ‘in’ ? If you’re with me there, have you considered this might be a critical distinction in regard to realizing you are indeed 100% in control? If you are in it, than it is greater, as in bigger, than you. If it is thoughts, it is within you and you are greater, as in bigger, than it. One lens is disempowering by default, the other is empowerment. Said another way, one lens is the belief you are not in control, and the other is accurate… that you are in control… but are believing you’re not by believing you are “in” a loop (vs experiencing thoughts and or beliefs which are actually releasable, and malleable, and can be changed with emotional expression & understanding). If what your teacher told you is true, (and btw I am unequivocally absolutely also telling you that it is) … then what’s veiled, or what is accredited or attributed to ‘the ego’ is not that which suppresses the spinning, but that which orients toward the spinning in the first place. In this case you might consider the spinning is the suppression by means of avoidance of emotional allowance & processing. For clarity sake… in this case the spinning is not something which could be or could not be suppressed. That would be a false framing. In this case, in this way of looking at it, the spinning is the suppression. If you contemplate… “I would rather be dealing with this spinning situation than experiencing __________, what comes to mind that would go in that blank? (Fear, anxiety, working full time, dating / socializing / meeting people, apologizing to someone, forgiving someone, understanding someone’s actions, etc) Be as open minded as possible for what source reveals to you so to speak. Those are just categorical suggestions that might help bring something to mind. Can you point to the ‘it’ and the ‘me’, and the ‘my axis’? Are these things which are affecting you outside of your control… or are these thoughts which you are in control of focusing on, or not focusing on? Can you define each of those acutely, as in very literally - what they are? If “it” is movement / the spinning… probe deeper… what is movement, what is spinning, literally. Also try to articulate as clearly as possible the causation involved. Express as precisely as is possible, exactly, how you know ‘it’… wants you… to do anything? What literally is this ‘it’, which has the property of wanting? If you stopped spinning, and therefore there is not spinning happening… exactly how is ‘it’ still ‘there (“it does not leave”)’? “It” therefore can not actually refer to ‘the spinning’. “It” refers to something else, and I suggest that something else is a belief about yourself. It’s tricky because the nature of a belief is that you firmly believe that it’s true. Probably a very painful belief which has been believed for a long time / has a lot of creating momentum applied. A belief that the relinquishing of might feel like pulling off a 12’’ bandaid, compared to a 1’’ band aid. Conditioning. Something internalized by you, which never actually belonged to, or was ever actually indicative of, you. Something unresolved which belonged to someone else. Someone influential in your upbringing like a parent, teacher, clergy member, etc. Maybe even a sibling. Maybe someone who is suffering for not being swift, not moving as in allowing with the flow of life, for holding resistant beliefs. Maybe someone who passed away unexpectedly, when you were young. Again, basically hypothetical suggestions here which may or may not ‘bring up’ the specific resistance. Also, this may be hard to hear - and I might be 100% wrong - but I very much agree with @allislove. I would go so far as to say every time you use a spiritual term such as kundalini etc, you are innocently unknowingly using the term to mask, veil, suppress, an emotion / memory / belief. Said another way, you are using secondary beliefs to cover up primary, or already existing beliefs, creating unnecessary confusion and discord. One more consideration, what if you meditated first thing in the morning every single day for one hour? What comes to mind as to how that would go? If you felt the impulse to swirl, but didn’t, what emotion(s) might arise?

Comparative thoughts of ‘luck’ are hindsight pointings to the immutable laws.

@ivankiss The passion, vision, spirit, etc feels truly awesome. You had me at obsession. “Seeking energy” as a label feels like a pinching off of energy. Might be better served without that particular framing, but that’s just me. Keep kickin ass in any case. ?? Could also be hunger and seeking food. Could just be ‘eating’. Could also be nothing. Could be a heroic quest within a mystical adventure within, as, with and of energy. ‘Seeking energy’ seems to imply un-whole without. There is much to be said for the subtleties of loa, which is not a mindset of seeking, and is also not anti-action. It’s perspectival. What’s sought in the op / thread?

You got me good with that one, thank you.

@Harlen Kelly It’s infallible.

I am in the middle of an artistic crisis. Take this twice each morning, you’ll be feeling right as rain. Also, awareness of subject-objects thoughts, the answerless answer. Body meditation might seem completely unrelated but I think you’d get a lot out of clarity & certainty out of it.

No. No. How do you integrate seeking energy?

@spinderella What is focused upon, unconditional love be’s. Focused upon: “Boredom”. Unconditonal love: No problem, you got it. Love ya unconditionally.

@ivankiss Believing seeking energy could be expressed in a healthy way is like believing the denial of well being could lead to health.

@Gesundheit2 There’s a full circle that’ll blow your mind. The masculine / feminine paradigm can help loosen & untangle. Having a lot of meaningless sex is helpful too. @Zeroguy Was just some sword / halo humor brother.

Revenge. I'm screaming revenge again. Wrong I've been wrong for far too long. Been constantly so frustrated. I've moved mountains with less. When I channel my hate to productive, I don't find it hard to impress. Bones in traction, hands break to hone raw energy. Bold and disastrous; my ears can't hear what you say to me. Hold your mouth for the war. Use it for what it's for. Speak the truth about me. Determined. Possessed. I feel a conquering will down inside me. Strength The strength of many to crush who might stop me. My strength is in number, and my soul lies in every one. The releasing of anger can better any medicine under the sun. There comes a time within everyone to close your eyes to what's real. No comprehension to fail, I vacuum the wind for my sail. Can't be the rest, let others waste my time. Owning success is the bottom line. Like a knife into flesh, afterlife is to death. Pulling and punching the rest of duration; no one can piss on this determination.

Put a ring on ‘it’ ?.

@Carl-Richard I’d recognize you anywhere.

Mic. Drop.

No men are really like that. Awareness is funny. Convincing. But indeed, unfettered.

Everyday begins with awakening.

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again , come , come.” - Jelaluddin Rumi Once upon a time all was grey and all was possible, all was magical & fresh, just there & waiting to be explored. Nostalgia is a going home, the arising of home within you. Allow it, welcoming the friend that it is, receive it, encourage it, cherish it, revel in it’s realness. Put on that album that moved you. Walk down the streets you grew up on. Bless the one who broke your heart open. Breathe to breathe. Sing to sing. Ride a bike to ride a bike. Flag down that ice cream truck. Play in that sprinkler. Open your eye for the first time. Smell these flowers for the first time. “Sing like no one is listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one is watching and live like it is heaven on earth.” ― Mark Twain

@Someone here ?? There is so much love here for you it’s disgusting. ?

Drop the resistance. “meaning” is emptying, it’s beautiful, allow it... don’t keep ‘spinning it’ into something bad, fearful or worrisome. Put down the weights you’ve been carrying, seize that opportunity. As “meaning” empties, M-F-MEANING fills in… unless you resist, by refusing to express, to let it out, to let go of what doesn’t serve you, what doesn’t resonate. What you are capable of creating, what you can do, be, have etc, is AMAZING! These limiting beliefs, etc, not so much. So let em go. Untangle emotion and yourself. You are prior to emotion. Emotion is not ‘about you’, it is what you’re experiencing. Existential nightmares are made of ignorance in this sector. You are feeling the guidance that is feeling… but still focusing on thoughts & concepts about it. “How do I go about not putting my hand on the hot stove?” Learn from the burn. Don’t put hand on stove. Put hand on wanted. How exactly would it be an issue, if you’d never heard of it? Obviously it wouldn’t. It’s conceptual. An ism. A belief. Let it go by not solving it, by not continuing to focus on it… by focusing on anything else which feels good / is aligned with good feeling. Take the ‘sting’ out by taking the ‘unique to me out’, the ‘my problem’ factor. The emptying, if you will, is the same for every one. For some it’s religious dogma, for some it’s vanity / over inflation & reliance on self image. For some it’s walls of defensiveness protecting the traumatized inner child. For some it’s ‘being the knower’. For some it’s a propped up facade of gender inauthenticity vs being as they truly are without caring what anyone thinks. In all cases, it’s emptying it out, letting it go. That’s the beauty of freedom, spontaneity, conscious creating, presence… it’s up to you. Not sure if this clicks, but, when I was younger I didn’t care for horror movies. Was always like, why people wanna watch this troublesome crap? It’s terrible. Now I love it. The more gut wrenching & insufferable the better. A lion roars. ? “For everything, there is season”. What feels horrid now might be delightfully insightful and fun later.