Nahm

@Preety_India Inner world pro tip: Even if all hell is breaking loose, even if it is impossible, even if I have nothing left in the tank, even if I am lost in the storm, even if I can not breathe, faint, or literally pass out trying, even if the thought, God forbid, should arise that things aren’t working out ‘for me’ - I never, and will never, ever, believe that thought. And then they do.

@lmfao Fosho. It’s ‘first’ among the whole of experience. There is nothing without it. So easily overlooked, given the awesomeness of this place.

@lmfao Mind is now, & there is focus. Mind wanders to ‘a future’, or ‘a past’, and focus is diminished / fragmented / split. (See this transpire in the first sentence of your op) Breath is now, breath is never not now. Sages aren’t out to get you. They love you & offer insight unconditionally. Like… Don’t think about it. It’s not a matter of thinking. Do it. Then, you’ll have the direct experience, and inevitably be telling someone the exact same thing. Your question is (imo) really about alignment & actuality as the creator, and is maybe the most important question (re focus) that could ever be. It is emptiness which is focus, and thus can not ever be focused upon.

The first half of your op reads like obvious common sense. The second half reads like you bought something, or about to sell me something. When I read your op, I see you know already have your answer(s). The doubt, & thus apparent need for effort, might arise from the identity (introvert). Not to imply your experience isn’t valid, but that isn’t true. It’s a belief.

@KaRzual Most importantly, don’t need her, don’t enable her need of you, don’t care what she thinks, don’t care if you understand her, and don’t care if she understands you. Love freely & unconditionally, rather than getting caught up in the insignificant transience of things / the spell of the daily mundane / relationship sleeping. Know we process emotion via expression, and be aware of the power of simply (but actually) holding space. Don’t interrupt. Don’t judge. Don’t solve. (I mean subtly, in your mind, let alone out loud. Stay presence.) The ‘lighter’ fun stuff… anything out of the ordinary, or not of daily repetition - anything that is a surprise or unexpected more or less. Schedule a trip, clean & set up the place (romantic like) before she comes over / get’s home. Order something she wants, that she doesn’t realize she wants yet. (Pinterest is very useful). Know what she likes, wants, loves, and dreams of - and weave that into your (and thus her) reality. From the small to the big, the simple to the deep, from the safety & reassurance aspects to the exhilarating, new, & adventurous. Consciously be co-creating, everyday, every moment. Sentimentally speaking, make a point to express deeply & simply, every single day. Never let a day go by assuming she know’s how you feel. Say it with your words, but also, sometimes just with your energy. If you feel it, she will feel it. In the longer term, if you’re both meditative, turn the mind / identity off, and go on a first date. Get to know each other, etc. Repeat. And in case you’ve not realized it yet, this whole universe exists just for her. She is indeed the goddess.

@Preety_India

@Iksander Reminded me of a very hilly three hundred miles per day bike ride I did a while back. People were just about dying going up these hills, most got off the bike and pushed it up. I dropped gears approaching the hill, and it was a breeze.

@Ilan You make a hell of a point sir. ?

@Preety_India Yes, but even more so, all there is… is love. The ‘loser’ thingy is a thought / belief situation. There is / are no such thing as ‘losers’. The thought doesn’t feel off cause it’s true… it feels off precisely cause it’s you, and you most certainly are not a ‘loser’, dear love.

If it’s about how you arrive to an end, it’s a mental narrative, as there is neither. What you’re talking about isn’t scientific in actuality. It is the room, the body mind, etc, the whole or oneness of experience. What you’re referring to scientifically is literally you, “collapsing” (if you must), being experience. At it’s best, quantum mechanics serves as a pointer to a dreamboard, to realize and consciously play in, as, the actuality. A day, a hundred, a million years of scientific what answering, it doesn’t matter. ‘What’ is already a self referential thought.

@Thought Art So great to hear!! Good for you! ??

You could add concrete to a brownie recipe and then ask why it’s baked in. The answer would be it isn’t ‘baked in’ per se, you add it. (Or not) It isn’t. The belief in you and a universe is resistant. The belief seems so concrete, but is the resistance. Reunification is only a belief contingent upon the belief of separation.

No, in the more personal & intimate sense if you will.

Attraction is relative. Ugly is self judgment. It feels terrible because it isn’t true. You are more beautiful that you have yet imagined or allowed yourself to be. ‘I got ghosted’ is a narrative, a self referential story. If you meet someone and there is attraction & chemistry, it is relative, it is experience. Evidenced by, if you meet someone and there is not attraction or chemistry. It is polite not to ‘ghost someone’. It’s arguably kinder to explain a bit. But, if you hold that expectation over someone else, you’re holding a conditional happiness upon yourself. Be fine with ‘getting ghosted’, by not expecting anything of anyone. We’re all much easier to enjoy without your expectations. Happiness, like beauty, is intrinsic, not the result of what you or anyone thinks, or of an experience. Understanding self referential thoughts. What is a self referential thought. Meditation.

Dance like an unabashed teenager.

Don’t cope, understand the emotions you’re experiencing. “Loser” is not an emotion, is not a feeling, it’s judgement. Feeling can not ‘go there with you’, which is why the discord & suffering. You have to let judgement go, and you ‘fall into’, ‘end up in’, already are ‘in’, feeling. There is a phase of sorts, in which everyone is the reason, at fault, even ‘ourself’, for how we feel. It runs it’s course, plays itself out, is realized inevitably to be fruitless, as it doesn’t produce any change. It’s usually followed by acceptance, forgiveness, letting go, and then understanding & compassion, aka healing, presence, ‘now’, or actuality. Ultimately, that is the realization of the power of focus. “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. - Gandhi Meditation is focusing on breathing & feeling, instead of thoughts. This allows the thought activity to settle. Without this thought activity, the world is experienced without this lens, and it is good. Nothing must be done, much must be let go.

Go more often. Multiple times a week. Have exercises of expression & communication (and whatever also the therapist recommends) lined up for in between sessions too, and review how it went with the therapist. Engage in a transmutative activity. Anything creative & expressive. Writing, drawing, carving, painting, sculpting, singing, playing an instrument, acting classes, gardening, anything creative & expressive. I wouldn’t try to compare the therapeutic relationship with a friend relationship & expect them to be similar. Therapy can get intimate in inspection & expression, but a therapist remaining more objective is to your benefit, to help you see things in different & new ways. Very generally speaking, friends are unaware of deflection, projection, transference, transmutation, etc, and inadvertently feed into codependency, enablement, etc. That’s not ‘odd’, it’s cause you’re sincere & you’re a truly an awesome person. You actually care. That is the rarest ‘thing’ on this planet. Never belittle or degrade it. Be careful who you compare yourself with, you never know what there inner world is really like. Best not to entertain comparative thoughts at all really. You are feeling… just, a lot of what’s coming up & out doesn’t feel so great. Keep letting it out, keep letting go of what does not resonate with you now. You’ll find as you go that you are less ‘in the past’, and more present… less suffering & more happiness. Therapy, expression, etc. It’ll all help the emptying out of all which doesn’t resonate or serve you. What remains is the beautiful, loving, joyful, you. I so that you, and only that you, right now. There are others who do as well, and you will to, and you will feel much more of ‘it’, and it is Good. You are not your thoughts, you are not your problems. You will heal, this too will pass. Stay strong, have faith. Sites like Meetup.com are an easy way. Friendship is easiest with common interests. Keep the therapy with the therapist, look to friendships & activities for simple purposeless fun. For outlet, engagement, etc. Wishing you the best! ? ♥️

@Endangered-EGO Are you open to more probing, specific personal questions?

Right. That’s the assumption…the ‘separate selves’, ‘separate physical bodies’, which are ‘limited’. That I share your belief is another assumption.

Yes.

@wildflower The whole point of quantum mechanics, to the extent there is a point, is you telling yourself there is no each other, there is no quantum mechanics. There is no right or wrong you or me, no understander or understanding.

@wildflower You just basically have to allow quantum mechanics to debunk quantum mechanics. Similarly, spirituality wise, the hearing of the message is that there is no hearer of a message.

There is no ‘abstract object’, if anything it’s an abstract thought about an abstract object. If QM reveals anything at all, it’s that there are no separate objects. Think of the wave function as a pointing rather than a verifiable (scientifically) truth (direct experience instead). Even if it is verifiable, see the opposite view is equally true (that it is not verifiable). Likewise, things never actually ‘come into existence’. This implies separation where QM reveals there is not. (Nobody’s saying an elephant is existing in a superposition as an ant.) There is no beginning of a universe. There is the apparent theory that there is, but there isn’t. Point to it, literally, to notice it’s a thought, without any actuality to actually reference. There is not a material world, with things in it. This is the revelation of QM’s. Form is a thought, a belief, which QM’s debunks.

Investigate more. Until you are ultimately satisfied.

The wave function appears, or manifests as an appearance. The ‘exponentially inversely related to the size of the mass’ is contingent on ‘size’ of ‘mass’, while ‘size’ is a thought, only relative to another mass, which there is not, which is what e=mc2 reveals. Think of that equation as having been widely misunderstood to be about light, while the insight is really about no mass, or the illusory nature of mass. Applying QM to ‘large mass’ in this context is of course perfectly correct. QM reveals there is no “mass” at all. Don’t forget to include “yourself” as non-mass / not-a-separate thing or observer… subject to - really… manifest via. He, and me, and you, are as ‘alive’ as Schrödinger's cat. Approaching a black hole, there’s inevitably not he, me, you & a cat, but a singularity. What’s forgotten, is the reverse of that has already transpired, more specifically, is already apparent. That a you must die for anything or situation to be, is as incorrect as saying Schrödinger's cat must die (or be dead, or be alive) for some contingent situation to be, or not be. (* there is no opposite which is correct).