Nahm

Even “the present moment” is a projected layer. Just advice, but… stop conceptualizing nothing. Knowing / thinking the path is 1%, walking it is 99% (daily practice, diet & behavior changes, retreats, trips, etc, etc).

@Alfonsoo I’d ‘clean your house’ prior to the trip, for a more assured ‘good’ trip. Daily morning meditation, daily expression journaling, a clean diet, and a full dreamboard. The trip would be more of a reward, a taking of all that having cleaned up the house to the next inspirational step, showing you the way / connecting dots / meeting you in co-creating / helping shed light on underlying limiting beliefs.

@Seeker531 ?? @Zega She can pm or email me anytime if interested. It’d be helpful to chat. A lot doesn’t add up here, as in there is much projection of unrelated discord onto the awakening experience, clouding / confusing it / herself. She kinda has to want to experience something like that though (a call w me). I wouldn’t suggest it too heavily. She might not be ready to sort through it even if there is some suffering.

@Vzdoh Sounds like you both are at the very pinnacle of Maslow’s pyramid for muggles…. but that’s it. Neither taking the real step beyond. You’re not satisfied, and looking to him. He’s not satisfied, and isn’t even looking yet.

Could also not be the case at all. Write what you want on a dreamboard. Let it go from mind. Reality becomes it. Talking with someone is great for the harboring of any anger or resentment.

@CameronsExploring The feeling of actual emptiness.

@CameronsExploring There is a misappropriation, a mislabeling or miscategorizing of emptiness. Emptiness is the greatest feeling possible, and all things are possible in emptiness, and inspiration runs through your veins like electric love-bliss. What you’re experiencing is not emptiness, it is the reluctance to ‘empty your cup’. The expedited route is to do some things selflessly for others. Then you will realize the goodness of feeling sought is not coming from somewhere or something else, but arising in, as, you, because you are awesome. Unthinkably awesome. The emptiness of the sky is not reoccurring, but the clouds (thoughts) make it seem so.

Pain is stubbing your toe. It’s guidance which says ‘watch where you’re stepping’. Suffering is continuing to think about the stubbing event. It’s guidance which says ‘watch what you’re focusing on’. Likewise, you can not hold a discordant perspective and accept it. What must be accepted is the letting go, of the discordant perspective, because it is not in alignment or agreeable with your unconditional true nature. Those who are right suffer. Those who put feeling above being right do not. “That I am separate”, “that there are two” = “right”… suffering.

Maybe ‘successful’ in this case is a house of cards, and he’s avoiding the intuitive knowing of this. He might have a seemingly fulfilling self image going (“happy” with myself because of what people think, how I’m seen, how important I am to the company / my friends & family), and not quite at the point of allowing the facade to burn away and the actuality to be. That ‘burning away’ would be most intimate for him, and thus he would then be most intimately available, for you. What confuses the issue is that you support the house of cards, by making it about you (not putting yourself in his shoes). If you put yourself in his shoes, you’d realize you’re doing the same thing. Your connotation of success actually supports his workaholism. This is the underlying attraction (your belief at at play on the lens) both of you seem captive to but unaware of. There isn’t “successful”, and then this other thing… time for a relationship, joy, fun, happiness, etc. That is success. True, or actual success. He doesn’t have to work that much, he chooses to, but does not realize why, or that he does. He thinks he’s “taking care of everyone”, and you support that belief… while all evidence is to the contrary.

Believing something’s wrong and trying to resolve it (in thought) is existential rumination. The ‘cure’ is meditation, because nothing’s wrong… there is just the judgmental activity of thoughts, that there is, something wrong. The byproduct of meditation is the expression / emptying out of what arises (the why, when, & how it is you came to believe something’s wrong and the letting go of identifying as such). The byproduct of that emptying / letting go is a full circle ‘return’ to the actuality of focus, which there wasn’t anything wrong with… and which was only obscured by the belief something is wrong, and the labelling (of feeling & emotion) which enabled the belief. It’s most humbling, relieving & freeing, realizing “something’s wrong” is a belief / projection. Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect how you are, and you always will be.

@4201 Love you! (And that’ll never change)

Of course, anytime. Un-attracting would be more precise. The belief in need is inherently the belief in lack, shortage, and separation. Were it not for the fact you’re literally creating so called reality right now, such beliefs wouldn’t be relevant. Like all differences, the difference is apparent. If you like, experiential.

@KaRzual We could say you could practice listening / holding space… but that is the practice of meditation. Might be new info so to speak, but letting a belief go isn’t an implementable doing, it’s a letting go. Non-doing might look like feeling / experiencing reaction, yet not buying into it / believing it / reacting in terms of speech, behavior & action.

Linelessness. Meditation… non-implementation.

Are you having sex right now? No. Are you fine? Yes. You believe you need sex, and that belief is in your direct experience. Odds are she is not attracted to being needed. Likewise, she’ll likely find not being needed, but being profoundly desired & wanted, irresistible. Identifying as a horny creature that craves & thus needs sex, you don’t see the goddess, only the projection… the fulfilling object to you the needy subject. There is a facade of holding space, such that thoughts are arising and focus is on the thoughts. There is an actuality of that-you-are-“space” in which thoughts aren’t appearing / arising.

Understanding is relativity.

@Preety_India Inner world pro tip: Even if all hell is breaking loose, even if it is impossible, even if I have nothing left in the tank, even if I am lost in the storm, even if I can not breathe, faint, or literally pass out trying, even if the thought, God forbid, should arise that things aren’t working out ‘for me’ - I never, and will never, ever, believe that thought. And then they do.

@lmfao Fosho. It’s ‘first’ among the whole of experience. There is nothing without it. So easily overlooked, given the awesomeness of this place.

@lmfao Mind is now, & there is focus. Mind wanders to ‘a future’, or ‘a past’, and focus is diminished / fragmented / split. (See this transpire in the first sentence of your op) Breath is now, breath is never not now. Sages aren’t out to get you. They love you & offer insight unconditionally. Like… Don’t think about it. It’s not a matter of thinking. Do it. Then, you’ll have the direct experience, and inevitably be telling someone the exact same thing. Your question is (imo) really about alignment & actuality as the creator, and is maybe the most important question (re focus) that could ever be. It is emptiness which is focus, and thus can not ever be focused upon.

The first half of your op reads like obvious common sense. The second half reads like you bought something, or about to sell me something. When I read your op, I see you know already have your answer(s). The doubt, & thus apparent need for effort, might arise from the identity (introvert). Not to imply your experience isn’t valid, but that isn’t true. It’s a belief.

@KaRzual Most importantly, don’t need her, don’t enable her need of you, don’t care what she thinks, don’t care if you understand her, and don’t care if she understands you. Love freely & unconditionally, rather than getting caught up in the insignificant transience of things / the spell of the daily mundane / relationship sleeping. Know we process emotion via expression, and be aware of the power of simply (but actually) holding space. Don’t interrupt. Don’t judge. Don’t solve. (I mean subtly, in your mind, let alone out loud. Stay presence.) The ‘lighter’ fun stuff… anything out of the ordinary, or not of daily repetition - anything that is a surprise or unexpected more or less. Schedule a trip, clean & set up the place (romantic like) before she comes over / get’s home. Order something she wants, that she doesn’t realize she wants yet. (Pinterest is very useful). Know what she likes, wants, loves, and dreams of - and weave that into your (and thus her) reality. From the small to the big, the simple to the deep, from the safety & reassurance aspects to the exhilarating, new, & adventurous. Consciously be co-creating, everyday, every moment. Sentimentally speaking, make a point to express deeply & simply, every single day. Never let a day go by assuming she know’s how you feel. Say it with your words, but also, sometimes just with your energy. If you feel it, she will feel it. In the longer term, if you’re both meditative, turn the mind / identity off, and go on a first date. Get to know each other, etc. Repeat. And in case you’ve not realized it yet, this whole universe exists just for her. She is indeed the goddess.

@Preety_India

@Iksander Reminded me of a very hilly three hundred miles per day bike ride I did a while back. People were just about dying going up these hills, most got off the bike and pushed it up. I dropped gears approaching the hill, and it was a breeze.

@Ilan You make a hell of a point sir. ?

@Preety_India Yes, but even more so, all there is… is love. The ‘loser’ thingy is a thought / belief situation. There is / are no such thing as ‘losers’. The thought doesn’t feel off cause it’s true… it feels off precisely cause it’s you, and you most certainly are not a ‘loser’, dear love.