YaNanNallari

I mean joy and happiness. You can read books about it and learn from the best, contemplate it and of course do personal development. If you want to make others happy, take notes of what you're learning on the way. This is sort of the same for most things.

Ego acts by hanging onto things or pushing things away. Try to find a balance

When you have judging thoughts, realize that they are judging thoughts. They are not a reflection of an objective reality. You don't have to not think, just let go of thinking that those thoughts are absolutely true or untrue. They are happening, but they don't reflect reality.

Can't be bothered to read. Anyway life purpose seems like a justification against the ego, but on the other hand it might be until you learn to recognize how you create purpose and then you can start learning to control it. Then it will seem like an appealing idea to have goals and reprogram your mind into more optimal ways. You can start seeing how this happens right now.

The mind is using your personhood against you. Realize that self-inquiry is exactly what helps with this. If you feel like you have some underlying big questions stopping you then contemplate them or maybe read some books.

To not look for logical solutions to everything and accept you have no control and that everything is meaningless. It's fine to be lost, but just realize your way out of there.

I'm sure that you have times where you're not feeling lustful at all. Maybe recall a time like this. This shows us how it is a temporary experience and just an idea. One way to overcome this completely accepting porn and yourself, while being more interested in something else. Instead of watching porn, you might be interested in larger questions of life. You might be more interested thinking about something related to what you do. You see the other things as also something beneficial for yourself, so you do them instead. There is no need to demonize porn or any urges, just see that you rather do something else. Something else comes up more naturally. Any meditation etc will also make this easier.

Try to make your studying a bit more fun and enjoyable. It is no good studying in a very stressed manner if you won't be able to keep it up for too long. Still keep studying, but keep a slightly more interested view on it rather than having to do it as a chore every time. If you're tired, try to meditate and let go of things for a bit. Even just for the duration of meditating.

If you have Leo's booklist he has a book there now that could help you with it. I recommend buying the list anyway.

@Marios Tsagoulis Have you even seen the video I mentioned?.. You're being a bit wild or even disrespectful here. The video is partly about allowing yourself to do things that you demonize to see whether they are actually good for you.

Leo has a video called "Awareness alone is curative". It talks about something like this.

That might be a perspective for the measurement of a man. Is it a relevant side? Not really. Most women can be attracted in very unconscious ways. There is no need to be "a man". Just be who you happen to be and improve yourself.

One small thing is saying that see how good you're feeling now? By working on yourself you can have this all the time. Of course the delivery of this message has to be good as well but still.

Ask who is hurting? Can you find who is hurting? Who is feeling helpless? In a self inquiry like way. Also seeing the default position taken in there helps.

@Santiago Even if you feel like you're a mess, going through this seeming crisis is a sign of development. A guy who thinks they got it all and never is confused isn't going anywhere great. You're actually developing yourself which leads to realizations and being confused. Keep moving forward and looking for these moments of discovery

What is liking her to you anyway? And is it valuable or necessary for the relationship? And also you can thankfully learn to connect more over time. Meditating and self-inquiry can help you realize how you're not actually separate from her. It's natural for a person to want to keep themselves from loving other people. It's scary. You can try to get more used to the idea of commitment (not because it's "right" or anything, just so that you can commit to things and focus on it instead of always watching out). I remember this video helping me out, maybe it helps you. Self love and a positive approach to yourself also helps plenty with connecting. Since if you're more connected with yourself, it is easier to connect with others. These 2 videos helped me create that, the first one comes with an exercise I recommend doing at least once https://youtu.be/abRaPYjb6mA For how to connect with others, it's not so much about "figuring it out" with your thoughts. Try to feel how you're feeling and see how she's feeling. Sort of sense your energies or in other words the underlying messages. Let things flow from there on.

What is liking her anyway to you? And is it valuable or necessary?

I suppose what a lot of people do to have the emotional strength to be able to face other people like that is get tired of it and become stubborn and not care about it. That's not necessary however, since I'd aim to understand where the other person is coming from and why they're acting like that. It's just another person with their random thoughts. They act like they act. From this perspective you can see how you don't have to care about it any more than what you care about other ideas. Of course they might be your boss so you can try to come to alignment a bit but then you won't be overwhelmed in any way.

I think meditation and self inquiry help you connect since it literally tears down the idea that you're not connected to them. If you want connections, generally be curious with people. Ask them some questions to get to know them a bit. Start conversations like that. I think appreciation will be something you learn over time, but if you appreciate something right now you can probably appreciate those people the same way.

I think that if one sees self-inquiry like you do you're correct. I'm very very new to self inquiry, but this is how I see it. The inquiry is only the start to get you to focus on the feeling of emptiness and giving up, although you want to try to stay detached from those as well. You ask the question, pay attention to the feeling, repeat. Also you talked about doing the work. Leo himself has indeed pointed out that work is only a concept, not to mention him mentioning "the map is not the territory" in I think his latest video. Also Leo has also pointed out that self inquiry shouldn't be "habitual" meaning that you should try to be aware of these things as you go over them again. It shouldn't be just you going through a checklist in your mind of what you are and what you're not. Doing it with a fresh consciousness raising approach every time.

I mean honestly. I have no way to get rid of my smartphone. I have already removed apps I don't need anyway. Instead I fixed some underlying issues. Understanding them by contemplating and studying. This was done a good while ago and I don't have any problems with it.

Did you watch Leo's video about meaning? Anyway, it's good to have meaning, but you want to be aware of how it is only something you assign to things.

Maybe watch Leo's videos about the nature of reality.

Leo has a good video called the power of self acceptance. You can also search Shinzen Young - Creating positive feel from youtube to understand a slighty different approah.

Just because there's black and white that doesn't mean they're mad at each other. Conflict is an idea. In the end you don't need conflict to improve yourself. You have your preferences and they don't have to be against each other. Often improvement does go through conflict though since our mind likes to think through arguing and finding an absolute answer.