Xpansion

I have linked to a page that says the pressures in your head etc are nimittas and the only problem with these sorts of things is if you get freaked out by it. Use the sensation as the object of your meditation. See how it is Dukha, Anicca and Anatta Scroll to the bottom of this page Odd experiences in meditation

The best thing to do from the very get go is to let go of any ideas and expectations you may have including enlightenment. Keep letting go. Every time your mind says " but I want this" or "I want to get there" you must let it go. If you continue to make enlightenment and awakening or anything else the goal it will hinder your practice. Just sit and be. This can be very difficult for the beginner because naturally we are conditioned to accomplish, attain and achieve but these things are of the mind and will hold you back. Many beginners give up because without getting something they feel like it's pointless. You cannot rest in awareness while your mind is full of desire, greed, craving and aversion. It's not a linear path and there is no easy comfortable shortcut. People who are enlightened don't go around telling people and those that do are basically deluding themselves. Just learn to be nobody, doing nothing and going nowhere. That's all.

It's true what he is saying, we do need to accept ourselves, accept where we are at. However this is the opposite end of the spectrum. Unless you decide to drop out and go live in a hippy commune you can't just sit there and meditate and expect life to be all rosy. Meditation isn't going to pay the bills. You really need to find a balance between taking actions towards what you want and accepting where you are at right now with kindness. It's very difficult to find that balance. It's all about non attachment. Leo makes a point in one of his videos about enjoying the process. In the end we are all heading to the same place. It's important to enjoy the journey. Set your goals then let go of the outcome. Just take the next action in this moment. You still need to live in the world, in a capitalist society where people who do not produce and consume are put out to pasture or left to rot. The elderly, the mentally ill, the disabled, the homeless. Therefore many people feel driven to create some kind of security by being materially successful etc. Having money cannot buy happiness but it can buy some relief from anxiety about how you're going to survive when you become one of the forgotten ones ie when you're old. Being too driven and focused on success and a future happiness is a recipe for misery though. I think personal development if not taken too seriously can help people to be really honest with themselves. To focus and learn how to align oneself with ones values, dreams and purpose. It needs to be a gentle supportive push though, not a whip cracking. It's no use shaming people into hating themselves even more. People need to be encouraged to like themselves enough and find the confidence to create the life they imagine.

Whatever you do you're going to need money. There's no escape from the system. You're better off to find a way to make it work for you rather than you working for it. The research has shown that connection with others is key when it comes to happiness. Maybe a more rural life in an alternative community might work for you? Kind of a hippy life living in a commune where the focus is not on careers and money etc. I've thought about it many times because I too have harboured an escapist fantasy my whole life but I'm beginning to realise that for me it was more about not knowing my purpose and feeling very alienated. I think the more we live in alignment with our values and purpose and the more connected we are to community then the happier we will be right where we are.

Leo you are big on having cause and purpose in life and helping people find these. I'm finding what you have to say about this very helpful. Nobody wants to go through life caught up in petty low paid meaningless work. However, I can't help but think if everyone was to have some amazing fulfilling work that is their life purpose then who is going to do all the very tedious menial jobs that need doing? They still have to be done by someone. There is garbage collection, cleaning etc etc.. These jobs may be seen by some as petty and mediocre but they are actually very important jobs that need to be done. Without them we would live in chaotic filth. Is it really realistic that everyone should have meaningful fulfilling work? What about people born into lower castes in India for example. They have absolutely no hope of ever doing anything but the work nobody else wants to do.

I sincerely wish you well. I hope you achieve what you aim for. What concerns me with all this personal development stuff is that there seems to be little emphasis on kind and gentle self acceptance. Accepting where and who we are. There's always some big goal post to get to and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and defeatism. We have to remember life is a process or journey. We are all going to the same place in the end. Enjoy the ride. ?

Yes I agree with you. It's taking it too far. Take from Leos videos what resonates with you and drop the rest. You don't have to believe everything he says. He is just another person making a video of his own personal opinions which you may or may not agree with. Read stuff, watch stuff then make up your own mind and form your own personal opinions. It's what Leo really wants you to do. Find your own path. Dude you're 16. Enjoy life and do whatever you want while you still can. Life has a way of becoming less frivolous as you get older and responsibilities begin to encroach. Just have a really good fucking time, take nothing seriously and always question authority. Thats what I did when I was 16 and it didn't really change for at least 10 years. But be mindful if and when you can because it will help keep you safe.

No lol However I have only just started the course so Im hoping things will change.

You made a point that you don't want "solutions". This translates as not interested in advise or opinions. Sure you may have opened to others elsewhere but you made it clear in your post that you weren't interested in doing so here but instead wanted to just express your dismay that you are not where you wish to be in regards to your 'centre world stage saviour role'. I had a look into these so called mystery schools and have to say it all looks a bit culty. Jaden smith is a fan which isn't a good sign. If all they have done for you is fill your head with stuff about how you're a chosen saviour and so now your actual life is clearly not matching those ideas and you have this gap between what you actually are and what you think you are meant to be then all it's doing is causing you to suffer. It's great to want to contribute something to the world in a positive way but to think you're going to save it, be some kind of "keeper of consciousness" or "guide mankind" into some apparent "golden age" is going a bit over the top. It's no wonder you are lost and unhappy putting that amount of pressure on yourself. Is it possible for you to just forget these unrealistic lofty ideals and maybe start small? By the way therapists are not only for "crazy" people. They are a useful tool in sorting out ones life. Sorting out reality from delusion. Not for everyone but useful nonetheless.

Fantastic information. Thanks.

Lots of weird crazy stuff happens during meditation. None of it means anything. It's just stuff coming up in the mind. You're best to not pay any attention to it. I have had some really bizarre experiences like you would not believe. Just let it go and continue on.

Hi butters, I don't really get why you put in that last line "I'm not your therapist"? Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to be saying that if people are to be part of your life then they must not be emotionally vulnerable or seek your support for personal or emotional issues? In my experience connecting is all about listening to others through good and bad times. Allowing them to feel safe enough to be their authentic self which may include emotional vulnerability. Being there for each other in a supporting and uplifting way. Perhaps connecting for you is more like a business transaction? Or perhaps it was a joke which was lost in translation in which case an emoji may have helped.

This might be of some help R.A.I.N.

I don't think they are beautiful. Most of them look cheap and nasty like street level prostitutes. Never understood why that look appeals to men. I don't think you need porn to learn anything. Life is far richer and more exciting than plastic soul less porn can ever be. Go kiss a real person.

Binaural beats are available for free all over the net including YouTube. If you choose to be milked of hundreds of dollars for them by a company using pseudo science to back up some very questionable, exaggerated and unproven claims that's your prerogative. And yes I have used binaural beats when I first started meditating but soon wised up and realised that meditation is not about getting a quick fix, achieving blissful mind states or fast tracking to zen monk heaven. This is a misguided and typically western perspective. I find it sad that there are so many charlatans on the web and so many gullible people eager to part with their hard earned money for nothing but snake oil. As I said its your prerogative to hand over your money for something that is freely available elsewhere and it's my prerogative to warn people of potential rip offs.

So you don't want solutions but you just want to express yourself. If you're not open to receiving any support or help from others it's kind of no surprise that you find yourself in such a dilemma. Relying on voices in your head that are telling you to save the world doesn't sound like a great plan. It's good to do something positive for the world but to believe you are some kind of chosen saviour sounds more like you may have a slight god complex. I know it's not what you want to hear and judging by your post you will most likely blow off what I'm about to say but I think some therapy will help you to realise the errors in your thinking and accept where you are at rather than cause yourself suffering because you are craving to be something and somewhere else.

It's all about how you do it. Don't just zone out to avoid feelings but do it mindfully. Recognise when you have the urge to binge and what it is you're feeling. It could be loneliness, sadness, anger, boredom or any other difficult feelings. Accept with kindness and compassion whatever it is that you feel. Investigate the feeling. Where do you feel it in your body. Don't identify with the feelings, emotions or thoughts. They will pass. Be gentle and kind to yourself even if you decide to keep watching tv. When you're watching you can pause every now and then and check in with your feelings. There is no wrong way. We all just do the best with the knowledge we have in the current moment. If you have a craving to view and it is imbued with aversion, desire and/or greed then you know that it will lead to more craving and suffering. If on the other hand you are watching some comedy that makes you laugh out loud and brings your mood up then this could be a skillful action.

What planet do you live on? The one that I live on porn is repugnant not beautiful. It used to be ok 20 years ago but since the Internet it has turned into something very nasty and ugly and way too easily accessible for children. Straight porn is not even about sex anymore, it's about the degradation and humiliation of women. Completely misogynistic. Young men are actually growing up believing that women like to be spat on, choked, gagged on cock to the point of vomiting, slapped and penetrated with 2-3 cocks anally at the same time. Young women are feeling pressured to conform to these abhorrent requests. Gay porn is no better which seems to be about the humiliation and degradation of gay men by straight men. Gay for pay is the norm. It's all very messed up.

Holosync is to meditation what the ab blaster is to exercise or pyramid schemes are to income. ie a money making gimmick appealing to impatient lazy people. There is no shortcut, no easy path. http://sceptic.darkbb.com/t72-holosync

Maybe Freddie Krueger come to visit?

Also see this article about becoming mindful of unskillful thought. Skillful versus Unskillful thinking

There are definitely aspects of that industry that are shitty and superficial and a lot of big egos get involved so a lot of "self cherishing" going on however there are downsides to every industry. If you love doing it and you get lost in it because you're so passionate about acting and not just because you are bedazzled by the glitz and glamour of fame then yes you sound like you are self sabotaging. You don't need to get caught up in the superficiality. Just hone your craft, act really well and inspire people by being fucking amazing. When I see a great actor, singer or anyone who does anything really really well, I cry. Sometimes I cry simply because I'm moved by their performance but many times I cry because they evoke an awareness of that same burning creative spark inside me which I am currently not expressing or sharing with the world. It's like a sad envy. These self defeating thoughts and habits that we have can be very deeply entrenched. We can be aware that we are sabotaging ourselves but for some reason still keep doing it. It's like a programme running. The first step is to shine the light of awareness on them and you are doing that. There is a very good technique for working with difficult thoughts and emotions known as RAIN - Recognise, Accept, Investigate, Non identify R.A.I.N

I've just started doing it about 4 days ago and it can do either of those. It will help you to find purpose if you don't know what you want to do and it will motivate you if you do know. It's not a miracle cure though. In the end it's up to you to do the work but you have 50 days to get a refund as long as you have done the exercises.

Firstly you can't generalise women in the same way you can't generalise men. Some men like flat chested women, some like humungous breasts. Some women like big dicks and some don't. I guess it depends on the vagina. If it's small and tight then maybe they prefer a smaller size but if it's a bit big and loose then it may need more to fill it up? LOL. I would say that most prefer an average one. Not too big and not too small. The Goldilocks zone

Hi Harvey, I'm not a believer of a "higher self". That is a new agey concept that doesn't resonate with me. From a Buddhist perspective its all just thought. However, there is skillful thinking and unskillful thinking. Read this article for details - Skillful versus unskillful thinking