Gabriel Antonio

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Posts posted by Gabriel Antonio

  3. Posted

    On 4/18/2018 at 5:54 AM, Erlend K said:

    Advertising your method as a miracle cure for any ailment that will "turn your life into a paradise" is rediculous bs. Any rational person can see that. Has there been any studies on the effectiveness of this method, or is it arguments for it purely anecdotal? The way you advertise it makes me wonder if you are its originator or otherwise have something personaly to gain.

    Our time is limited and valuable. There are several powerful methods that have been advocated by sages for millenia and have scientifically documented effects (through rigorous double blind placebo studies). These include mindfulness, loving kindness, prayer and yoga. What reason do we have to chose your particular method? 

    Agreed!

  4. Posted

    10 hours ago, universe said:

    In your next conversation, if there comes a break in the conversation, try to let the silence in there as long as possible. Actually, thats what I do in most conversations. It feels very good to me and does so much for deeper connection. For me it feels authentic and genuine.

    For example, when you talk to someone on the phone or what ever and you feel like you are out of things to say, instead of saying "good bye" and ending the conversation just stay in there - wait. Let the other person end the conversation if they want.

    It is so powerful.

    In our culture, that does not work very well. Yes, there are moments where we can share silence with another person. But in most cases, it just becomes an awkward silence. In my opinion, it's better to practice small talk. The Wikipedia entry is pretty interesting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_talk 

     

    Well, to me, the key to interacting well with others is all about how much you can relax into the moment. Not always easy to do so. And forcing yourself too much to say something, be relaxed, etc. is counterproductive. 

  5. Posted

    16 minutes ago, Deepconcepts said:

    Changing our context and word  choice for example, from...

    " i've struggled since i was 11"

    to

    " i had struggles with anxiety in my past"

    creates a more positive affirmation that tells the same thing except you don't instill a negative view of yourself to yourself and implies you'd be  better able to cope with your future encounters with anxiety.

    Unfortunately, I still struggle with SA. I wish I had completely overcome it, but that's simply not true. 

    But anyway, I think I get your point. Many people get heavily identified with their mental health condition. They become the condition itself. 

    I have depression > I am depressed > I am depression 

    But in reality, the person is much more than his disorder... 

    Thanks for your input, btw! 

  7. Posted

    On 3/2/2019 at 11:47 AM, KyleR said:

    Booked in to see a doctor which can only help me in the right direction but always good to hear other perspectives. 

    Good! 

    6 hours ago, KyleR said:

    will likely try cbt, nlp etc soon

    CBT is much better than NLP (which is basically a repackaged version of hypnosis). 

     

    I've struggled with SA since I was 11. I'm not sure if depression caused my social anxiety, or the other way around. They probably feed each other. 

    One thing that really stands out for me regarding SA is physical discomfort. I tend to accumulate so much tension that when I'm interacting with others my body is really stiff. When I'm not in a, let's say, SA crisis, my body naturally feels more relaxed. So it's key to find ways to connect with your body through singing, yoga, doing a sport you like, etc.

    Here's a really nice journal on this forum that you might resonate with: 

    All the best, and good luck =) 

  8. Posted · Edited by Gabriel Antonio

    On 3/8/2019 at 0:28 PM, Iiris said:

    hated myself and I didn't want to accept that I failed again, but I still accepted it. At home I had a good cry. I cried because I hated myself and then I gave compassion for hating myself and then I cried more. Now as I'm writing this I feel like crying again lol. Crying is the best thing, it feels good as heck.

    I love that type of crying <3 It's very healing-ful. 

     

    On 3/8/2019 at 0:28 PM, Iiris said:

    I feel like the problem with myself trying to accept myself this week was that I was at the same time excepting that I will do all this personal development stuff. "I am going to accept myself as I am but also I'll be meditating, relaxing, eating healthy, not being on my phone too much...." Gawd. I need all these rules for myself because I'm afraid. I'm not completely sure what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of being free. Probably I'm afraid of what I'll do when I let myself be free. Maybe I'm afraid of myself! Being perfect is a shield for me. I notice that when I let myself be imperfect I start being fearful about the future

    You're a really good writer. I'd totally buy a book of yours... Btw, fear is a bitch. 

     

    On 3/9/2019 at 3:19 PM, Iiris said:

    So my little sister and father had some argument about something, and he took it too seriously and went nuts. Usually I keep my mouth shut about his behavior because nothing good happens when I open it. But now I was so angry that I told him at the dinner table how his behavior makes me feel like shit. Things escalated and my father got very defensive and had a complete mental breakdown in the end. He started telling me how his life is so shitty that he has the right to be angry. He went absolutely nuts.

    Wow... 

     

    On 3/9/2019 at 3:19 PM, Iiris said:

    This journal is getting really negative. :D But the negative stuff is just the stuff that I the most need to talk about.

    Don't worry about that. There's nothing more inauthentic than fake positivity...

    “The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience.  And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”~ Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck)

    This is a really good book. More quotes at: https://www.movemequotes.com/success-quotes-from-the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck/

     

    On 3/9/2019 at 3:19 PM, Iiris said:

    I wanted to say to him that I love him because I do, but I've never been able to say that and I couldn't do it now either. I most definitely love him. Fucking shit. I don't want him to die never hearing me saying that I love him. Crying again!!!!!!!

    That is so sweet.

    I think it's better not to force to say I love you. I don't know how old you are, but I guess you're in your teens. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to express your love to him. Not to blame your dad, but he is the one who was supposed to show his love to you... 

    Here's an interesting concept that came to mind: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_personality

     

    Btw, I don't remember if I ever asked you that, but do you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist? They can be VERY helpful. 

    Also, you've inspired me to write more! Thanks for that. 

     

    All the best, and thanks for keep updating us! ✌

  10. Posted

    15 minutes ago, still_no_satori said:

    1. It is going as normal for me. 

    Do you ask to alert me as to what issues may crop up in my mind while I am there?

    2. No issues there.

    Good! 

    There cases of people who are emotionally unstable and/or have psychiatric conditions who freaked out during a Vipassana retreat. It doesn't look like that will be your case. Sure, your mind will go crazy at times, but it will hopefully be at a manageable level. 

    Another thing is physical discomfort. I myself am pretty unflexible and my core muscles are quite weak. So sitting for 10-12 hours daily produces so much discomfort that meditation becomes an enduring pain challenge... 

    I just read the following article: https://www.ndoherty.com/vipassana/. Even though he does sound a little whiny, it's pretty interesting. At the end of the article, you can find a few articles that might interest you. 

    From what you've told me, I would say that yes, the retreat will probably be beneficial to you. Naturally, the mind will come up with many excuses, but question them to see if they are really valid. 

    Also, be careful not to get a little neurotic on reading too much about other people's experiences. 

     

  13. Posted

    Well, first of all, enlightenment isn't a very good word in my opinion. It's not as if you become "the chosen one". 

    That being said, enlightenment work isn't for everyone. I myself don't do any practice. Instead, I focus on more basic stuff, such as my physical and mental health. 

    I don't believe "life is a dream", as many non-dualists say. Nor do I think it's helpful to say "There is only the Now", as if it's a hidden thing. Many people in spiritual circles are obsessed in accessing this so-called Now and also in understanding the "Truth"... 

    Anyway, I really like the following Zen saying: "Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water, after enlightenment chop wood and carry water."  

    Focus on basic stuff... 

    All the best

  15. Posted · Edited by Gabriel Antonio

    Read the instructions on their website very carefully, and during the retreat follow their instructions to heart, with a “beginner’s mind”. Forget everything you know about meditation.

    If you’re struggling with something, talk to the teacher. Do not try to figure things out by yourself.

    You are allowed to ask questions once after the daily talk, and you can also talk in private with the teacher for 2 minutes. 

    17 minutes ago, still_no_satori said:

    I know the daily schedule of the retreat and so am expecting the experience to be very taxing and the most difficult thing I have ever done (in other words I am aware this isn't some fun relaxing spa weekend!)

    Yes, it’s not easy. But don’t preoccupy yourself with that. After the initial few days, you’ll probably start to enjoy the practice.

    Questions:

    1- How’s your emotional life going?

    2- Do you have any psychiatric condition?

     

  25. Posted

    Very good question. 

    There are many analogies we can use to understand emotional life. One of it is emotional bank account. If the balance is positive, you can deal with stressful situations. But that is like taking money out of the account. Then, you have to do something that will be like a deposit so that the balance is positive again. 

    Another way to see it is a garden. Don't expect quick fixes, such as doing a breathing exercise that will allegedly make you feel on cloud nine. I'm not saying these techniques don't work, but it is not enough to have a healthy emotional life. To me, using the body playfully and bonding deeply with friends are far more effective than any yogic technique. 

     

    10 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

    If someone wants to feel good even in a stressful situation/environment, how one can do it?

    It's tricky. I ain't superman, so sometimes I take a break. For example, if I am in a stressful meeting, I go to the toilet and pay attention to my breath for a while. Some people can do that mindful observation in-the-moment, but I prefer to go somewhere quiet.