Gabriel Antonio

@Dragallur Awesome!!! Asking questions to "authorities" is a comfort zone challenge. Also, contradicting authorities is another one. One type of CZC I have been doing is consciously trying to get rejected by girls so that I lose my fear of rejection. Till says that if you're afraid of getting rejected, go out to a club and try to get rejected by 10 girls as quickly as you can. I did on the bus today. There was a girl sitting next to me, and I simply said, "Can we start kissing?", she said no, but I have been feeling so confident that I started laughing and explained about comfort zone challenges. I liked that you used the acronym I came up with haha "CZC" Very good! I'm proud of you, bro

I feel you. feels good, doesn't it? thanks for the reminder

Hehe, thanks for your honesty. Your comment helped me today take action in talking with strangers. it is a waste of time. spontaneity is better :]

5-7-2017 I know that everything is changing very quickly. right now, i feel tensed in my body. i like the word "evolve". i know that hardcore meditation was needed for me to realize that this is not the path i should take for now. i have discovered my life purpose: "overcome shyness and help others overcome it." i have also stated the purpose in the positive: "develop supreme self-confidence and help others achieve it." today, i went back home from the ayahuasca ceremony. i slept for a few hours. when i woke up, i was feeling lethargic and lazy. my grandma was so happy and joyful. she even bought me some peanut candies at the market. it was very sweet of her. anyway, seeing her so happy reminded me of how better it is to live instead of overthinking life. so i decided to take some action. i forced myself to go out of my house. then, i started talking with random people, mainly security guards on the street. then, i went to a Catholic mass. it was kind of cool mainly because it was a new experience. things i am interested in developing: > focusing on one subject when talking > get back to doing yoga for 5 minutes a day > write down all the $ i spend and all the $ i get each day > keep focus on socializing > meditate at least 5 minutes in the morning (i completely dropped my 4-hour meditation habit. thankfully.) > get back to learning more (reading books, watching videos) > keep doing comfort zone challenges & value all attempts that i practiced courage > talk with the divine before bed > watch at least one full Matt Kahn video > keep taking cold showers and eating pure lemon > be dynamic. if i feel like ending a conversation, do it. trust that the Universe will bring me something better. > resume making Youtube videos. > handwrite more > meet with my dad, step-bro and step-mom > do new things everyday > buy some indian clothes > search for comfort zone challenges and do at least one a day > focus on being casual, light, and tranquil > keep talking about the present moment > keep talking even if it feels uncomfortable > force myself to step out of the house > focus on real people or at least audio-video interactions > listen to new songs > cook soy meat =]

5-5-17 i feel happy in general. healthier. i have discovered that i am a naturally dynamic and high-energy person. i am not into consistency but always being in the flow. change is the only constant. flowing with life. making conscious small changes such as changing where i sit. doing things differently, with my left hand. not blinking for a while. establishing more eye contact than normal. my cure came about not through meditation per se but through socializing. comfort zone challenges are great to train ourselves to get uncomfortable at times. when we evolve, we see that the things that made us fear become laughable. i am beginning to appreciate the trivial conversations. people have been telling me that i need to keep more focused and listen more in conversations. this sometimes upsets me. but it is part of the process. when we are truly healthy, we don't need discipline, nor do we need to "stay positive", we naturally gravitate towards positivity. and some negativity can be good at times. but I want to pinpoint this: socializing was what cured me.

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Thank you

Isn't it better if we focus on what we're doing right instead of having the need to nitpick all the uncomfortable truths that arise in ourselves? For example, what is the point of telling to people negative aspects of myself or them? What is the point of saying, "I am bored in this conversation"? If a person were to have the intention of being radically honest all the time, he or she could get fixated on telling this truth. I speak from personal experience: it is much better to ignore the bad things and simply focus on what is going right. This way, we focus our energy into something more wholesome; we focus on the light that exists in each being. Another example: if I see a negative aspect of a person, I can tell him or her that. Or, I turn my focus on what I like about him/er. For example, a sibling comes into the kitchen and she's got dark circles. I can either focus on that, or I can consciously decide to see what is actually good in her, like her hair for example. And say, "Your hair looks good today!" I hope that made sense. =]

@JKG that sure is a challenge for me how is your gratitude practice? thank you for keeping up with this journal!

@West Thanks for the message. I love cold showers. They embody radical action and comfort zone challenges. I take them religiously first thing in the day. I love the feeling of just fucking do it. Like "I know this will be unpleasant, but I will do it anyway." I figured out my life purpose on my last ayahuasca trip. "Overcome shyness and help others with shyness to overcome it." I used to meditate for 4 hours every single day (did it for about 4 months). Currently, I have been meditating for at least 15 minutes, but I do like to pray during the day. I feel like what I really need is not meditation for this moment in time, but socializing more. So I have been focusing on being more social, doing comfort zone challenges, and becoming independent of the good or the bad opinion of others as Leo says (which is a REAL challenge). I don't try to be aware while I take cold showers. It's one of those things that I simply do it. Just get it done. Hehe. Thanks again for the question! =)

"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small." Proverbs 24:10

"I imagine people cling to that hatred so stubbornly is that they sense once the hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their own pain." James Baldwin

My meditation is a prayer for the highest divinity to manifest itsel through my body, mind, and spirit.

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B