Gabriel Antonio

I would be lying if I said that I have amazing habits. Nah, I have realized that I wasn’t able to keep up with any of my “habits”. I mean, some of them became pleasant actually, so I don’t count them. For example, cold showers (winter) and hot showers (summer). But I have got acclimated to the coldness or hotness. I have seen that all it takes is deep breathing, and BAM! You got superpowers right there. The thing is, I have backslided even though too me the worst that could happen would be to keep forcing myself. You force, and force, and force. But, as that quote said, do not overtrain a willing horse. The power is in doing everyday so that you build momentum. That beautiful small dosage, drop by drop. And then it will eventually bloom. You might put too much practice in it, and just like putting too much water on the plant, you KILL it by doing too much. I wrote down 20 ideas for habits and I will experiment with them today. They are all relatively easy (my favorite so far is to practice drawing straight lines throughout a piece of paper: front and back with the right hand, and one time with the left hand). It seems like a very easy practice, but in reality it is sorta like a meditation practice. The moment I realized that meditation ain’t about maintaining the perfect pose, the perfect state of mind, the perfect stillness… NAH! That’s bullshit. Meditation is in the here and now. And drawing straight lines (or at least attempting to do so) has a huge therapeautical effect. If you think too much, the line will not be straight. When you achieve that beautiful state of Flow, everything you do is pure gold. But, anyway, I will experiment with some other shit. Then, by the end of the day, I will write on a piece of paper the habit until the Vipassana retreat (GODDAMN). There is no time actually haha. It's on the 21st. this month. So, like 10 days from now. Speaking of this retreat, I am very curious to see if I will accept it or deny it. It will be awesome as an immersion technique. So that will lit the fire eventually. Hmm… I thought some days ago that all I wanted to do was to release built-up energy. Too me, it all boils down to the body. And one thing I have realized as one of my main pitfalls is: excess use of energy and effort. Also known as: NEUROSIS. But the thing about neurosis is that you don’t fix it with more neurosis. Sometimes we are forced to take a break, but this is not always necessary. Sometimes all you gotta do is slow the pace down. And you will be fine. It’s like a martial art fight: if you throw all your energy at once, you will drain it all by round 2. But if you manage to save energy strategically, you will become more resistant. It’s like what George Leonard wrote in the book “Mastery”: if there is one thing humans would be better than most other animals is: long-distance running. Animals are very stupid. Have you seen what a dog does when he’s like really hungry? He eats very very quickly. Some humans do that as well. Similarly, an animal would use all its strength at once in a running competition. If you are soft in your body, you will have tons of energy. Ideally you should use the same amount of effort that an elderly does or a child. The fundamental thing is that: if you apply the principle of Softness to every area of your life, everything will be transformed. Because softness is a lifestyle. Softness means using the minimum amount of effort to execute something. So, my point is: even thou I am engaging in unhealthy behaviors (all that shit: eating, fapping, isolation), something deep down is changing in me. Because in the midst of all my experiences there is an absence of judgement. Criticism is stored in the body in case you have forgotten. So, as you can feel, meditation is an on-going practice. You realize that words do not matter. That all it matters is the relaxing of your shoulders. Dissolving… Dissolving… Dissolving…

20 Affirmations Alligned with Divine Feminine 1- Things autocorrect. 2- Stop being a micro-managing boss. 3- Things happen by themselves. 4- You do not have to throw anything away. 5- Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best that you can. 6- All emotions are valid. 7- Include, include, and include. 8- No matter what you are doing, you are doing it correctly. 9- You Are Already Good Enough 10- Laziness does not exist. If you are alive, you are always doing something. 11- Nothing really special has to happen. 12- Allow yourself to get immersed in your story-line. 13- Relaxation is the only authority. 14- Allow nature to take care of you. 15- Treat yourself as if you were a 5-year-old in pain. 16- You don’t have to like your experience. 17- Express yourself more, not less. 18- Soft is the new strong! 19- There are no rules. You are free to play. 20- No need to force anything. The Divine Feminine seems too soft to be true.

This is very common for newbies. If you see the true masters, they are all very relaxed and enjoying the moment effortlessly, without thinking about spiritual principles. And there is nothig worse than preaching spirituality, nonduality to people. Some quotes for inspiration: “My family hates me when I am a Buddhist, but they love me when I am a Buddha.” Forgot who said that ”The goal is not to perfect yourself, but to perfect your love.” Jack Kornfield ”You didn’t come here to be perfect. You came here to be real.” Ralph Smart (?) Jack Kornfield himself once told about a student of his that said, “I am dissapointed” Jack asked, “About what?” “You! Because I thought you were calm but seeing you in this retreat, you look like a italian shoesales man.” In other words, although Jack has been practicing meditation for decades, he is still imperfect. He said one time that he always skip a step on the stairs to save time. I don’t know if you mentioned this in the Dropping The Roles You Play video, but that is ine role that we, self-help junkies, should all be very mindful.

Sex, food, success can bring satisfaction in the short term. But it eventually wears off. This happened to me with video games. I saw how unhappy I was becoming, and the behavior autocorrected. I dropped the addiction effortlessly. Yea, I know, it looks too good to be true, but this is real shit! Behaviors autocorrect. The thing is, you gotta allow yourself to go through the process. This means, not repressing the behavior your instinct wants to do. And while you are engaging in the behavior and its consequences, you practice nonjudgement. And if any feeling of guilty arises, you block it. It’s hard to do allow yourself to screw up, especially if you have a micromanaging ego. In your case it would mean jerking off as much as you want. And not fucking bitch about it. That’s one thing I hate about the NoFap community. They stress out so much...

It is very hard to feel high consciousness if you have a very hectic lifestyle. You should probably stategize to cut down some commitments. But just knowing that it is normal to have your awareness decreased when you are on the daily grind already helps to set the proper expectation and avoid frustration. Jack Kornfield once said, "If monks lived the ordinary life of a westerner, they'd have a hard time." Another idea that pops to mind is if you cannot cut down many things from your life, at least try to do them with more gentleness, that is, with less resistance in your body. It is hard to practice softness when you are overloaded though...

Lucid dreaming helped me grasp how our minds can trick us into believing that something is real. I feel like lucid dreaming is a very underrated practice. It's not only for "fun", but a practice of awareness. When you are in a dream and you realize you're dreaming, the mind realizes that this is "off script" so homeostasis quickly kicks in, and BAM! You are back thinking that it is not a dream. When you wake up "for real", it becomes clear how the mind was sneaky. Anyway, lucid dreaming helps you realize that ordinary reality isn't as solid as you think. And it is extremely fun. It's similar to psychedelics, but it takes a bit of work to get lucid and, more importantly, to maintain the lucidity. But it is worth it. I have recently gotten back to lucid dreaming, and I already feel my consciousness expanding.

Not really a quote, but it's pretty cool:

My Personal Development Journey - How It Has Been Like I got into self-improvement in 2008 at the age of 12. I went to some lectures of a numerologist guy. I also started taking NLP private sessions because of social awkwardness. And throughout my teenage years I searched and searched. Always trying to implement what I learned, but thinking back today I think 80% of my effort to improve myself only caused suffering. Most of the things I “corrected” in myself came back years after. Weight, social anxiety, discipline. They would get better for a while, but homeostasis would inevitably push them back to where they were originally were. But this year, IDK, I might be into something with Tai Chi. This idea of zero resistance in the body is so important to me. It ain’t about getting rigid, but softening into the body. No need to rush. No need for results. And instead of forcing yourself, take a pause. I think it is very weird to see people like Tony Robbins who pushes people too much. I was checking a video of him, and the other guy was doing pushups or something like that. He was clearly tired, but Tony kept saying: "COME ON! COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT MAN!" So instead of the encouraging the guy to take a break, he encouraged him to force himself. In general, my behaviors continue to be more or less the same. But I am less judgmental. I am not beating myself so much. Instead of forcing a “correct” posture, for example, I focus on working with what I have. I think the greatest mistake we make is trying to get rid of pain. Emotional, mental, physical, any type of pain. Sure, we do not want to self-torture ourselves by exposing ourselves to high levels of discomfort. This is not needed. It can be useful for contrast though. But what I am talking about is recognizing the perfection of the present. We hold very little power, if any. Maybe one thing we have free will on is in our INTENTIONS. And the rest, as strange as it may seem, is all governed by nature. My Experience with Ayahuasca The first trips were extremely intense. I got in contact with True Love, my inner child (I could talk clearly to it), and sometimes I would see very scary things. I also had very clear moments of awakening in the Timeless. It was so amazing. But it was too intense. This whole psychedelic journey of mine was way more intense that it probably should have been. But it didn't cause much damage being so hyperactive. But it certainly is counterproductive. Right now, I haven't tripped for more than a month. It's very good to have this contrast. I might write some more later. I feel good today.

And that you are in the right direction.

I have had horrible experiences with some so-called Shamans. Sometimes the dosage is too high. And they keep telling that you have bad spirits. I always suspect on those "you gotta go" type of thing. I probably wouldn't go and baby step my way through it.

Hey, felt like writing some random thoughts: - On Becoming a List-Maker I love how Jack Kornfield said that the Buddha was a list-maker: the Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths, Twelve Principles of Forgiveness etc. And I have been doing 20-item lists (I force myself to think 20 things), and this practice is very liberating. First, it is great to take things out of my head. Second, it boosts my creativity because then I see how much I got inside of me. - 2018: Softness I had defined my intention for this year as “playful root” so that I stay connected to my roots while being playful. Yea, that’s nice. But I also like this other one. Softness. In the body, mind, and heart. I feel like I am slowly conquering my hyperactivity and euphoria. For example, today I was thinking of doing 3 things (yoga, ayahuasca, and a concert). Dude, if it were 7 months ago, I would have done the 3 no matter what. But thankfully I think I have learned my lesson: minimalism is the way! So, I only went to the concert, which was amazing btw. He is a beast. - My Only “Real” Self-Development Progress: 10% more self-acceptance I had a ego backlash this beginning of the year. Gained some weight, got overstimulated various times, and been half-assing at work. I had a HUGE growth last year, so this backlash is a good contrast. And one thing that I have noticed is that there is like 10% more self-acceptance, which is a true blessing and so useful. When I am hating on myself or the situation I am in, I remember to apply some self-acceptance to the situation. So I use a lot of spiritual truths that are in the feminine part of the spectrum: > It’s okay. You are doing good enough. > Relax the body > You are dismissed of any charge. You are innocent! > You are Everything > Relax. Nothing is in control here. > From the mud comes the lotus. > You do not have to do anything. > Do not use force. You are enough as you are. I have found that I work better with feminine spiritual principles. I am grateful that I have weaned myself off the neurotic seeking I used to have. As Matt Kahn puts it, “Because the doorway of Enlightenment does not open for beings who are going on with their spiritual path with ferocity and hyperactivity. The doorway of Enlightenment and Supreme Liberation opens within a being who demonstrates relaxation.” Or, as I like to put it, softness. You do not need much effort nor hard work. It’s like 20% of effort. > I feel like it is possible to learn things with zero theory. Just gotta imitate long enough, do not get attached to results, and become curious about the thing you wanna learn. Genuinely curious. Then, like magic, you learn the thing. I want to write a book about this method of mine. Got to fully embody it first. Well, think that's enough. > I am going to Vipassana in two weeks. Would never expect that Haha. Cool! Let's get immersed in meditation. My only concern is getting too much physical pain during meditation. So I wanna be able to sit nicely, effortlessly upright for hours and hours (like 10). After all, physical pain is not a sign of growth, but of exhaustion. What if, in reality, you treat yourself like Cartman treats people?

From tripping a lot, I have seen how bad trying to rush your awakening can lead to. Deep down I am not even sure if I want enlightenment. It came to me various times in different trips the following: we are gonna experience the Absolute when we are dead. This seems obvious, but this helps me slow the process down. Most of the times I feel like I am hyperaware, and that I should practice some unconsciousness. I always remember: "Be a turtle!"

The 1-Take Lifestyle So, here is the thing: life cannot be lived if you are thinking you are in a rehearsal. And the best way to train that spontaneity is through what I call the 1-take lifestyle. You do not think too deeply to do anything, you simply do it. Imagine you are in a real play. So you are there in front of many people, and they are all staring at you. Do you really think there would be enough time to think about every single thing you say? NO! The gift is exactly in the capacity to relax into the moment and do it. I got this idea from Ralph Smart. He always braggs about the fact that he shots his video in one take only with no script. Haha. I like this philosophy of his. In his older videos, he used to edit A LOT; he’d go through hours and hours on the editing room in the search of the “perfect” version. But then, he realized later on about radical action. He also mentions about school. Have you ever noticed that the brightest kids do not make a lot of effort? That they do not study as hard as most people? The real good ones. I had a friend who did not take any notes whatsoever and was the top in the class. There is also a quote that he always mentions, which I really like: “You cannot get into the effortless state by making more effort.” Most of us here are pretty neurotic, I can definitely guarantee that. Most of us still think that brute force is the way to go. But it is not. The way to go is through softness, but firmness. It is as if your whole body is relaxed, but there is a tonality to it. Like the bamboo. Basically you want to become a bamboo, so there is absolutely nothing inside of you. Then, you can become a superconductor of Divinity. Now… coming back to the 1-take lifestyle. It is the same thing. What I am saying here is not for you to go on living a crazy, hyperactive life. NO! Minimalism is also needed. But what I am trying to say is: There is no time to think. When you are thinking, you cut the flow. If you wanna sit down and just think about some shit, that’s fine. But if you keep thinking while you’re doing everything in your life, then… I can almost guarantee that you are misusing your energy. STATE OF FLOW REMOVE FILTERS ZEN BODY BEING So, next time you are talking to someone, talk for real. Or for example, when you are practicing meditation, do not overstress for how bad you are, instead keep the flow going. Improvise… Got it? Instead of wishing the world met your unrealistic expectations of perfection. There is no perfection. And, as Ralph Smart says, the paradox of the perfectionist is that they want things to be so perfect that they end up not doing shit.

i think a good word for what you are going through is fragility. everything breaks you. you need to go through a process of desensitivity. the fastest way to do this is through exposure. you expose yourself in small dosages until you become comfortable with the things that used to freak you out.

i think it would be cool some ideas could be: > Multiperspectiveness > Going Full-Circle (especially regarding Introversion) > Psychedelics i don't know what's the dynamics for doing a ted talk, but i think Leo should easily be able to.

Remember to Have Fun! Enjoy yourself! Even if you are screwing things up, at least enjoy the minimal moments of gratification. In Buddhist psychology, they speak of three types of personality. The two most common ones are either attachment-based, or aversion-based. Sometimes I get so aversed to the world that I end up not wanting even the good shit. It’s really fucked up, and I will not go into detail here cause it really is a rabbit hole. For a long time I thought I should enter a state that is somehow different from the one I am having in the moment, but Nature is not dumb. It is not making you live the situation you are living for a stupid reason. Yea, deep down, there is no meaning. And this is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. We, then, can fabricate our own meaning. For more, watch Leo’s video on purpose. (Leo is at his finest on that vid!) But anyway, I was reflecting back on my life, and maybe my greatest problem is that I never allowed myself to relax completely. I have developed this neurotic and destructive belief of an ever-unsatisfying experience of the present. So basically no matter what I am doing my mind is always putting myself under a miscroscope. But… I have found that I want to live in a playful way. Yea, I get it. This whole thing is fucking joke and has no meaning to it. So, instead of getting pissed at the meaninglessness of life, why not have fun in the process? We are all gonna die anyways… Not to say that you should seek danger. Nope… it’s just that… maybe you should quit self-improvement. Cause it never fucking ends. Don’t know if you have noticed that. So when I embody self-acceptance and a sincere appreciation for being alive, wow, it feels like my body instaneously starts feeling good, as if the Body actually wants to serve me. And if I always act like an ungrateful and highly-critical bastard, it will respond accordingly. And on the other hand, if I fuck things up, but I enjoy myself in the process, it feels like magic happens. Because it feels like I get excused from the consequence, when I simply allow myself to not care. Dunno if this text makes any sense. Not in the mood for reading it or editing it. This ain’t college, thank god And plus, I have decided that I want to fully embody a new lifestyle. >> 1-take only << This means: no editing. Train myself to be good in one shot. Live. No rehearsals. But going back to the topic, I find that I get tons of energy when I am enjoying myself unconditionally. SURE, I don’t mean basic needs. But even then, I still believe it is possible. Holy shit, I am writing this coming from almost 0 experience in this. Because as I mentioned my mind is always looking for the bad thing. But, aw, life goes on. All the lies are being melted. One by one. Drop by drop. No need to hurry. Cause Nature is in action Here. [Stupid poem written by stupid me. yea, I been doing good with the self-love]

Just fucking do it

Take a break

On this journal entry, I am going to write about three other intentions that I have done recently. Just to recap, I put on a wristband and everytime I catch my eyes looking at it, I tell myself the intention. This is great because it helps you embody the insights, as opposed to only knowing them. Nothing special is supposed to happen > Reality is perfect as it is, and there should not be any need for more stimulation. > This goes full-circle. When you truly accept the boredom, a lot of “special” things start to happen. > Right expectation. If you go on living your life expecting that something grandiose has got to happen, then I am afraid you will fall on your ass pretty quickly. True happiness and fulfillment comes from Mastery, which is not only long-term but life-long, and not some instantenous. The ego has always something to complain about > Actually, this is a strategy to justify my own misery. When I simply become cognizant that there is this program (more like a virus, actually) running inside of me, it starts to dissolve. > Tai Chi helps with this one because I am learning how to manage my energy intelligently as opposed to wasting it with thinking about all the wrong things about myself, other people, and my surrounding. > When I allow my Little Ego to complain as much as it wants, haha, full-circle once again: it stops complaining. And I find that it really is all stored in the body. The Little Ego is in your body somewhere. And maybe you should just release it by relaxing your body a bit more. Burn Neurons > I am in a Hakuna Matata phase. I am building my foundation to progress in life. In a way, I feel like I am recovering from all the shit that happened to me, especially school. So, the thing is: burn neurons as an conscious choice is actually called relaxation. And, yes, it can be watching porn, Netflix marathons, ice cream binging. If that’s what you are up to. I feel like sometimes we cut the process of Nature. Maybe we have to go through shit so we figure out how to live life better in the future. Maybe we have to go through that phase to outgrow it, otherwise we abort the cycle. > It is actually pretty fun to do this. You know, when I write burn neurons, I also mean that you can waste them. And if you find yourself wasting them, at least be creative in process. For example, if you want to binge watch "Freaks & Geeks", go ahead and do it. But… do not lose your dignity in the process. This means, prepare the goddamn thing. Don’t just throw yourself in the couch. Give yourself some challenges. Watch an episode with your eyes closed. Watch one walking on your living room. IDK! You figure this shit out. Haha. Or simply allow yourself to enjoy the goddamn thing. > I noticed that I started following my true desires, when I allowed myself to waste neurons. Ever since we are very little, we were forced to do shit. And this in the long-run is terrible. I am trying to get into this state of Effortless Power, and I feel it is totally required that I move into the direction of positive motivation -- not neurotic one. ......Why do I put so much energy into things?.........

Telling About My Little Experiment - Programming an Intention for the Week You take a wristband and place it on your wrist. Then, everytime you catch yourself looking at it, you remind yourself of your intention. I took this from Leo, actually. He sometimes suggests this technique at the end of the video. For example, in the contemplation video, he says to contemplate about relationships for 30 seconds; the other one he says to make it pinch you, you know, slap the wristband on yourself everytime you catch yourself criticising (Perfectionism video). Anyway, I am a terrible writer cuz I go to a lot of tangents. Have you been practicing your concentration, btw? It can be as simple as listening to a song till the very end, without listening it on the background. Can you do that? It is actually kinda challenging, cause the mind goes CRAZY. So… back to my experiment: it has been going very well. I find that having a juicy insight on your wrist is life-savior. Seriously, it helps a lot to avoid getting triggered and stay focused on self-actualization, as opposed to self-shame, self-guilt, and self-hatred. Haha… OKAY! So let’s get to each week and each insight. First week Intention: If you can let go easily, let go. If you can’t, let it be. Insight: This is a formula for a stress-free lifestyle. Comment: Seriously, if you are stressed out about something, that means you are not aligned with God’s Will (as the christians put it), so I took this insight from Leo’s video, and, man, did it work. Cause you can apply in many, many situations. Should I stop thinking about this thought? Can you let go easily? No? Then, Let it Be. It is actually a meditation technique. Quite powerful! Second week: Intention: I am Gabriel Insight: I am fucking amazing Comment: I got this idea from my Tai Chi teacher. She recommended us to use the “I Am” secret to embody our individuality. This insight makes me comprehend the magnititude of my greatness. If you think in terms of Physics, we are GIANT creatures, depending on the perspective. It makes me go, “How can I not see that?” (Btw, I feel like studying physics is a catalyst for enlightenment). So… in times of trouble, I affirm this sentence for reminding myself of my greatness. Third week: Intention: I will survive Insight: The Universe will go you what you ask it. From now on, I do not want situations that makes me challenge my survival skills, but rather situations that promote my well-ness and well-being. Comment: This intention is EXTREMELY powerful. In a lot of situations, I doubt of my own capacity to kick-ass. I get scared of uncomfortable emotions, not knowing that they are a signal that a high performance state is about to be entered. Haha, and I feel this insight helps put into perspective life itself. Dude! We are all gonna die VERY soon. If you realized the magnitude of this fact, man, wouldn’t be living your life differently? Like, taking more action, getting into some crazy adventures? The thing is, a lot of us are extremely fragile. We cannot handle any emotional, nor physical distress. We shy away from them. But the truth is: they are a part of life. They are the excrement of your greatness to flourish. If you want to understand reality deeply, think in terms of Nature, because it fucking mimics itself over and over again. PÁ! And, btw, I want to introduce you guys to a concept called: anti-fragility. There is a pretty cool video of that on youtube: It is pretty cool. And it puts this whole question that we are dealing here, which is: Life is ending one minute at a time. Is that Fight Club? Love that movie btw. It has a deeper message in it that almost nobody got it. Fourth week: Intention: Active Auto-Mode Insight: You Already Are Good Enough Comment: So… here is the thing: you do not have to force anything, in fact you are the one causing your own problems by the way you react to things. Response-ability. I feel like society does a great job at transforming us in half-dead people. We get so lazy and comfortable with the beliefs that were held into us, and we simply don’t question it. And this one about “being cheerful” is pervasive. So… I decided to go against the grain. One of the most wide-spread ideas is “do not be in the auto-mode.” However, if you consciously decide to enter auto-mode, that becomes… RELAXATION. And this is, in a nutshell, how you truly want to live your life. My acronym for this one is AA. Activate Auto-mode. Fifth week: Intention: There is always something to complain… (to Inferior Ego) Insight: Shit, I got tired… Hahaha… Gonna finish that later. But this is a great exercise.

Wow... it makes perfect sense that people-pleasing stems from being criticized in childhood. At some point in my life, I had to distance myself from my parents and my family in general. I think you are right on trusting yourself again. The power lies within. It's hard to always remember that though. Wish you the best! And you write very well btw, OP.

The Power is In Our Breath! So, by this, I do NOT mean that we should be forcing our breaths all the time. Obviously this will backfire. Our diafragma, for example, is eventually gonna get tired. No, we do not want that. Instead, let us focus on a more tranquil breath. This is called Eupineia, the standard breathing. No muscle effort at all. Remember: breath-work is just like going to gym. If you wanna be the highly unstrategic rabbit, go ahead and overdo. But, if you are like me, and you want to become a Wise Turtle, then let us start small but in the right direction. In fact, the theme of forcing the muscles of the breath is recurrent to me. When I get a glimpse of how amazing I can feel through breath control, I easily get attached to practicing over and over again. It sucks because it backfires. It is just like watering a plant. You don’t do it all the time. Or else you screw the whole process. Anyway, here is my advice: focus on acquiring total body relaxation. Your breath will auto-correct. [You must always remember that your spine should be as upright as possible (but relaxed). And, really, your whole body should be jelly-like, but with some tone.] I hope you get the key point in here: Tai Chi has done this metamorphosis with me. 7 months in, and, MAN! It is such a gradual -- but profound -- transformation happening . Yes, my ego is backlashing crazily as I mentioned yesterday. But at the same time, I have little gaps of what is about to unfold. I see how everything is fitting in the big picture. The big picture is all that matters. Everything will make sense. Well, just some stupid words that came up to my mind… Ppl, please do not overdo. Whatever it is you’re doing in your spiritual practice, DO NOT overdo it.

There really is no rule. Make sure you don't get stuck in paralysis by analysis.

Maybe You Should Quit… I don’t know about you, but I am pretty tired of that self-help cliché: “Don’t give up.” This can cause a lot of neurosis in some types of people. I have recently read, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” (great read!), and he talks about Bukowski. That guy was fucking hilarious! He was such a careless guy that he went full-circle and became an awesome writer -- and a human being. By being so honest to his own devilry, he also goes full-circle into becoming “good.” I love the feeling of relief when you are reading or listening to something, and you go: “Wow… that sure resonates with me.” For example, the insight Bukowski gave us is: Don’t try. Trying is for losers and people who do not know their talents. Leo mentioned, in the “Personal Questions to Leo” topic, the phrase: “not forcing anything.” THAT’S IT! I have tried so much in building discipline, and from my experience, it ALWAYS backfires. Sooner or later. Right now, I am in a HUGE ego backlash, and it is freaking me out. I am seeing myself overeat, isolate, be lazy, smoke TONS of weed, binge watching Freaks & Geeks (great show, btw!), jerk off at least twice a day, manipulate, escape life, and more to come! Hahaha, and the craziest part is: I am not stopping myself. I am simply observing myself do stupid shit. [For more: watch “Awareness Alone is Curative”]. x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/ Man, I have been through hell so many times that maybe I should stop fearing going down there. Because, deep down, it is all a matter of well-qualified energy vs bad-qualified energy. What shall we do with the bad-qualified energy? Transmute it through deep breathing. It is as simple as this. x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/ Free Yourself From Guilt! @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Hi Mcdonald, thanks for sharing the videos from Dr. Garbor on addiction. That guy is fucking amazing!

I really resonate with Leo's advice on a recent video: be more like a girl. Pickup never helped me. The thing about relationships is that it all depends on the circumstance, so you cannot expect a magic technique that will be foolproof. I'd suggest to throw away all those rules about what you should do or shouldn't do to get girls. It is much simpler than you might think... Regarding taking more action or stop taking action, if you have explored the field enough, and you feel kinda fed up, I'd suggest focusing on other priorities in your life. A relationship shouldn't be your goal. Just like money, status, sex are also bad goals. They are by-products. Maybe you should focus more on your life purpose, and results in dating will shower. And the funny thing is, you will not even care. You will go, "Wow! I was desesperate for THIS? This is so shallow!" Remember: the more needy you are, the more you repel people.