Gabriel Antonio

Read my signature. Or as Leo like to put it, “Turn inwards.”

Seems like you are withdrawing from the situation... The key is to develop equanimity. It does NOT mean “I don’t give a fuck about anything.” Instead, equanimity is being fully present, but not allowing yourself to get carried away by the random circunstances of life... Easier said than done... Lol, what type of therapy is based on desires? I didn’t understand you here... Are you really enjoying the moment, or is it a distorted enjoyment?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_bypass Looks like you got some spiritual bypassing going... It doesn’t seem like you are “awake” (whatever that means). It seems you are just being indifferent... Here’s my guess: Because the emotional pain is too much to bear, you numb yourself out from life as a denfense mechanism. Ring true?

Dude, psychedelics can help A LOT with social anxiety. You just gotta do them properly.

“We’re in a rush to get nowhere fast.” — ?

Voting systems are meant to separate the wheat from the chaff. Just sayin’...

“You already are that which you are searching.” — Osho

Great! I’m glad you had a good experience with the ganja

@nethernalbeing +1 Your topic itself is a mental masturbation lol

@moon777light Reiki, psychedelics, Tai Chi Chuan, yoga (real yoga, not gym yoga), theater classes, biodance, dynamic stretch.

@Deano This is from Wikipedia: Spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks". Maybe. What do you think?

@moon777light I think you need to find a way to feel comfortable in your body. Counterintuitively, social anxiety is largely a body-problem. In my case, as soon as I felt good in my body, I naturally started to feel more confident -- with no need to work on psychological stuff (e.g., changing my beliefs, healing childhood traumas etc.) If you want examples of activities that help you tap into your body, let me know

Make sure this is an authentic desire -- not a spiritual bypass. Maybe it's the other way around. As Leo put it, "to be more of a man, be more of a girl." Vulnerability = exposing yourself emotionally. First, make sure that, in your case, your partner is emphatic and understanding. Second, take baby-steps. Don't try to share your darkest secrets and fears all at once. For more, I recommend the book "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead," by Brené Brown. Some quotes from the book: Remember: take baby-steps.

I personally only read one book at a time. Whenever I try to read multiple books, I end up not finishing any of them. Also, the books will likely not have as much impact as they could have had. If you do decide to read another book, try at least to choose very different topics. Maybe one could be fiction and the other non-fiction... Otherwise, you might mix up information...

@Azote Interesting talk! I hope you are not suggesting her to microdose on cocaine though lol @Moreira Do you have any experience with psychedelics? I think you would benefit a lot from them!

Yes. When you are socializing, focus on basic stuff. Try to say things that are ordinary and simple, or maybe that is only slightly beyond your comfort zone. DO NOT get too much out of your comfort zone. It backfires. For example, if you stretch a rubber band too much, it breaks. You will soon find a person who is easy to connect with. A person who you can feel comfortable being your natural self. I think it's very important to cultivate few—but deep—friendships. In my case, building a strong bond with 3 friends has automatically made me improve in surface-level socializing.

Interesting. Good planning requires a lot of concentration. I think it's important to set aside a specific time that's exclusive for planning. This way, you can put all your attention into planning. And then after you're done, you already have a strategy, so you can be free to live in the present moment. I think bad planning happens when you're doing something, and then you start planning. Instead of concentrating on doing your task, you start to daydream and, possibly, ruminate. Basically, this daydream planning fuels anxiety and is highly ineffective. Good planning (with concentration) is like a focused sunlight beam, whereas bad planning (with poor concentration) is like a regular sunlight. One has the power to even kill an ant, while the other simply can't. This idea that "I am focused in the present moment, so I don't want to plan" is BS. Leo has a great episode that shows the importance of being a good strategic thinker: