Gabriel Antonio

I do not agree with that. There should be no unbearable pain. That is actually a sign you're overdoing, or simply doing it wrong.

That is only half-truth. The full paradox is: you are Ego, and you are also God. I understand your point though. "You are God" can be used as a spiritual bypass. "Oh... why bother trying to improve my life or self-reflecting? I'm already Light... Nothing has to be done." A lot of Mooji's followers fall into this trap. Deconstructing the self/ego is an endless process. It can be useful to work on that, for spiritual purification. But eventually we have to let that "cleaning" go. "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." -- Guillaume Apollinaire

I used to practice Kundalini Yoga, and I had similar weird experiences in my body as the OP. I thought it was awakening or something like that. But actually it was incorrect practice, which can lead to many problems. People assume that "Oh... you're feeling weird shit. Must be spiritual." Nah, a lot of times it's just you messing up with your body.

I do not think this is a good sign. My advice: Stop any spiritual practices you are currently doing (meditation, yoga etc). If this thing keeps happening, go see a psychiatrist.

Then maybe you should try a different doctor?

?

Cool. Congrats! Why don't you ask that to your doctor?

I agree that killing animals is an ethical and ecological problem. That breing said, here are two bitter pills to swallow: 1- Activism can be used to avoid dealing with your own shit. 2- Reality is perfect as it is. You won't change anything in the world with all that rage inside of you. It seems you got a lot of inner work to do.

If the ocean is all one, why there are drops of water? If your body is all one, then why cells exist?

The two things, if done properly, can fit together. You can focus on building strong bonds, while also for example healing your inner wounds.

Are you currently taking medication?

After the ecstasy, the laundry...

@Martin123 Yes! Right. You can make the ego your ally, but don’t let it control you. “The mind is a great servant but a lousy master.” — Osho A lot of people neurotically try to fight the ego, but it’s one of those things where the more you push it, the more it pushes you back.

You’re probably disconnected to being. One way to tap into that is through psychedelics. It will help even when the trip’s over.

@RiseAbove I don’t recommend, actually. Question: are you truthful to yourself?

Meh... We are not the same person nor the same mind lol We are leaves of the same tree, that’s all. Matt Kahn talks about the masculine and the feminine side to awakening. What you experienced was the masculine side: All is one. But there’s the feminine one, which says that each of us has our own individuality. It’s very easy to use the “all is one” insight to dismiss the uniqueness of each being. In fact, some people become assholes after so-called enlightenment experiences. I guess true awakening is a silent thing and does not need to be told on an online forum lol, cause seriously you were sounding like Leo in that crazy episode he posted a few months ago. I have also done that in the past, and I cringe everytime I see some old posts of mine. If I were you, I’d focus on ways to silence the mind, because yours seems to be pretty agitated tbh. Btw - I don’t know how far you’ve explored/studied lucid dreams, but have you heard of a thing called false awakening? For more search on Wikipedia.

@Psyche_92 I was practicing the do nothing technique. But I wasn't aware as thoughts were passing by. So my meditation was actually just daydreaming. And I was hoping that something magical would occur just by doing that. Today, my practice is very short. I focus on the course of my natural breath for 1-2 minutes, without getting into any special position. In fact, that was another problem of my meditation. I was heavily tensed in my body, and sitting upright without support for my back became uncomfortable. So at some point, it became an ego-thing of trying to put up with the physical discomfort.

I think girls like when guys get emotional, when the guy is still in control of the situation. That is, he's sharing his feelings not because he's so needy that he desperately need to talk about it, but because he chooses to do so.

A lot of people do that, and just the fact that you’re aware that you do that is a big step. Btw - have you watched Leo’s video on lying?

Meditation is a simple thing. And because it's so simple, people tend to mess it up. I myself used to feel weird shit from my so-called meditation practice. And after I saw the video Dark Side of Meditation, I thought, "Oh... so what I'm going through is normal..." But now, I see that it was not. I was practicing incorrectly.

Not really. I realized I had been practicing yoga in a very rigid way. Currently, I'm more drawn to Tai Chi because it's more natural and soft.

Depression is a tricky thing. You can't really force yourself out of it. Sometimes, the more you battle it; the more it comes back. So it's important to be extra patient with yourself and how you're feeling. Breaks are indeed necessary in some circumstances. Unfortunately, not everybody has the luxury to take one. You're being too harsh on yourself. "Love every bloody thing on the planet" is hell of a lot of pressure. Why not focus on loving your -- imperfect -- self? Leo has a beautiful episode on this called The Power of Self-Acceptance.